are a pair of cunts.

Welcome cunters to the new Game Show taking the country by storm. I give you SUPERMARKET SWEEP, where contestants Keir and Vicky Sponger are given £107,000 to spend as they please, but in limited time before the game is up.

Enjoy watching as the Spongers rush through the store throwing Arsenal, Taylor Swift and Coldplay tickets into their trolley. Suits for Keir and frocks for Vicky get bagged as well before the Spongers retire to a luxury penthouse for a well-earned rest.

Also planned for the autumn’s TV schedules:
David ‘Henry VII’ Lammy in Brainbox Challenge
Dirty Ange in Slagheap Challenge
Rachel Thieves in The Great British Granny Freeze
and last but not least…
Huw Edwards in It’s a Knobout

Compulsive viewing for us all.

spectator

Nominated by Geordie Twatt

A double cunting for a whinging harridan and everyone’s favourite media outlet.
Poor Nadiya, desperate for some earth shattering revelation to promote her new tv series, has apparently come up with this.

“There was constant pressure to prove how British I was”
Sounds pretty damning doesn’t it? Only, that’s not exactly what she said.
What she actually said was this.

“ There was constant pressure to prove how British I was, how Bangladeshi, how Muslim”
So apart from her tiresome ‘woe is me’ self promotion, we’ve got the BBC resorting to headline writing so antagonistic that it would make Kelvin McKenzie blush.
Nadiya would do well to remember that her current career is based purely on her ethnicity and religion, fuck all else. Stop whinging and be grateful.

And the BBC are still a bunch of race baiting, divisive cunts.

bbcnews

Nominated by Field Marshal Cuntgomery.

Lack of Ambition

When I left school, many year’s ago, wages for a 16 year old were shit.
I would have been lucky to earn more than £15 a week.

We are talking about a long time ago.

The thing to do was to sign up for casual, agency work.
You could work whenever you wanted to, and for me that was every day.
The rate of pay was much better and you were not tied down to any particular company.

Those were the days before health and safety were thought about.
No special licence was needed to drive a forklift so one day I may be working in a warehouse and the next doing a night shift loading delivery trucks.

There was work available every day and night, so if I didn’t particularly want to work in one place I would ask for somewhere else to go.

The agency sent me to a local steel drum factory once.
A guy showed me what to do.

My job was to shove a steam cleaning hose into the steel drums that came past on a conveyor belt.
The drums would then be flipped over so that whatever shit was inside would get cleaned out.

Not really rocket science.

The factory was noisy so nobody could be heard if they were talking or even shouting.

The next guy up the line to me would bash the top of the now clean steels drums to put them back into shape after they had expanded with the heat.

Every hour an alarm would sound and all worked stopped.
We were given a half pint of milk to drink as the work was so hot.

In one of those breaks I found out from the drum banger that he had been at the factory for over 20 years.
Doing the exact same job.

Over 20 fucking years standing in the same place, day in day out, hitting steel drums with a big mallet.

What sort of cunt would want to spend their entire working life hitting steel drums with a big hammer?

Turning up and going home at the same time every day.
The half pint of milk every hour, forever.
Waiting for his pay cheque every Friday.
His working life controlled by an alarm sounding.
Probably the same 2 week holiday to the same place every year.

Lunch time was also started with the alarm bell.
The entire workforce stopped and made their way to the huge canteen.

In the canteen there was a line of workers with their trays, queueing up for whatever was on offer.

Probably the same thing on the same day every week.

The thing that struck me was that although there were many dozens of people queueing up to eat, nobody spoke.
There was just the clatter of cutlery to break the silence.

The misery of working in the shit hole had completely destroyed those guys.

I put my tray back from where I got it.
I left the canteen and walked out of the factory and got the bus home.

Although asked, I never went back there again.

Nominated by The Artful Cunter.

If you can imagine the magnitude of the thick-as-pig shit stupidity of David Lammy, Dawn Butler, Diane Abbott , Joey Essex and Ant & Dec mixed together, it doesn’t begin to compare to the stupidity of this fucking daft twat, who is a Lib-Dem councillor, who claims to have been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, because of Brexit.

She has frequently lost her voice (probably a blessing in disguise considering she talks shit), been really ill, poor cow because she “regards herself as European before being British” and they have ripped away her “identity”.

However at the end of her fucking daft speech the real reason for her sadness comes through – she has a daughter who would like to work in Europe and she herself planned on retiring to Spain.

Oh dear, how sad, never mind. These remarks were made at the South Coast Autumn Pantomime – The Liberal Democrat Party Conference.

I think the silly fucker IS ill – she is fucking insane:

Daily Express.

Nominated by : W. C. Boggs

I love films, particularly from Hollywood’s ‘golden age’. But as the years have gone by I’ve become really pissed off with American studios in particular for the increasing use of product placement in films, a practise that has grown to be ubiquitous and incredibly brazen.

Product placement is nothing more than a marketing strategy whereby companies pay studios to position their products within films to gain exposure, thus persuading punters to identify with said products and hand over their cash to buy them.

It’s always annoying, but at least it’s tolerable when it’s fleeting, with a reference being integrated into the film’s narrative with some subtlety, thus avoiding a lot of incongruous disruption; WTF C.A.

However the problems really start when productions don’t tread lightly, and being greedy for advertiser dollars, dump placements onto the heads of the audience with a fork lift truck. No, for me what’s utterly offensive about product placement is when the studios’ disdain for audiences is such that they make no attempt at hiding it.

I could list dozens of examples, but here are three that I hate;

youtube uncharted

youtube Mac and Me

youtube Back to the future 2

Nominated by Ron Knee.