In this age of the ever rising pinnacle of technological achievements, from self-driving cars, cancer seeking nanobots, telescopes that can peer into the very edge of the cosmos, why oh why are the laws of the Universe such a cunt that scientists can’t invent a time machine and make me 16 again so I can benefit from the kindliness of these lovely young ladies who have been banned from Australia and are to be deported from Fiji because of their mission to lay scores of barely legal teenage lads?

If Australia doesn’t want to put them up, I’ve got a spare room that I’ll gladly lend out to them, if they’re willing to slightly bend the rules on their target age bracket (I’m sure with a baseball cap, some trousers round me knees, and some painted on acne they’ll hardly notice the unwanted additional thirty years).

New York Post.

Nominated by : Balsamic Dave

or, as they now want you to spell their brand “jaGUar” is a cunt.

Though far from being a car fetishist or enthusiast or whatever those daft cunts who have gear for brains and ball bearing grease instead of sperm jizzing out of their bellends call themselves, I have always had a deep respect for the classy & solid design paired with decent material the good old Jags used to stand for.
And if I weren’t the miserable prole cunt I am and could spare a year’s wage for a ride, I should without thinking twice go and get myself some shiny XK8 or even better an 80s XJS and have all the bliss and fun an old cunt could possibly get in this world.

But alas, as if it weren’t enough to visually pollute the landscape with those abominable electric SUVs they started producing some years ago, they have now gone full wokeywank with their new commercial, featuring a pack of morbidly malnourished and pervy looking androids in ridiculous apparel and even more ridiculous slogans that could maybe sell some worthless fashion rags, but certainly not a car. Silly cunts.

YouTube (The Actual Ad).

Nominated by : Lord Cuntstable Emeritus

Second gear change from Hard Brexit Cunt :

Jaguar used to make getaway motors for villains. Now, it seems from their widely criticised woke advert, that they have diversified (pun intended) into making clobber for trannies, freaks and weirdos who inhabit fetish clubs.

Like virtually all modern adverts, normal white people are conspicuous by their absence. There are a couple of whiteys, but one is distinctly androgynous and the other one looks like a Poundland Iggy Pop tribute act, probably with a penis inserted into its anus. Also conspicuously absent from the advert are cars! Yes, the commodity that Jaguar was famous for making.

Scottish comedian Leo Kearse has brilliantly reviewed it in his latest YouTube video:

YouTube.

Is this Jaguar’s Bud Light moment?

Changing up to third gear is this from TwatVarnish :

Oh Jesus! Yet another bout of woke wankery of gold standard measures…Jaguar Cars.

A once loved British brand, Jaguar has deliberately gone down the skiddy shitpan of inclusive advertising, which has backfired on them. Just the same as the whole Bud Light bollocks, some of these brands never seem to learn that the vast majority of folks, are rightly sick and tired of degeneracy and woke agendas being forced into brands that have fuck all to do with that sort of thing.

Level-headed people want efficient engineering, good styling and impressive machinery, not a collection of freaks mincing around on an advert with their self styled “progressiveness”.

The main problem the way I see it, are these middle-management anus reamers and spotty marketing pricks (usually fresh out of Manbun University) who love a flowery mood board and soya latte session & discuss how to fuck off as many previously loyal Jaguar customers as they can. It must be hard to walk to their vending machines without slipping over on hipster jizz?

Either this is some sort of bad joke, a satire or they’re serious. They’ve even rebranded the well known leaping Jaguar logo with a boring plain font type. Jaguar have turned themselves from a big cat of the Panthera genus into an emaciated limp wristed whelk. What in the hell happened?

More YouTube.

Wibble.

”The study of the Earth’s rocks and natural resources is racist and linked to “white supremacy”, according to a geography professor at a leading UK university.”

”She also suggested palaeontology, the study of prehistoric life through fossils, was partly to blame for racism, labelling it “pale-ontology”.

Wibble

Apparently climate change is racist too.

Wibble

The University is Queen Mary, London by the way. (nor me) Well worth the student fees and London accommodation. A degree from this ‘professor’ is guaranteed to get you flipping burgers.

Wibble

MSN Link.

Nominated by : Cuntstable Cuntbubble

Election Fraud Deniers, Part Ongoing

Let’s have an ‘in order to save Democracy we must corrupt it’ Cunting for defeated Senator Bob Casy and the Democrats in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania.

Donald Trump and the Republicans recently won a (real) Landslide election. They convincing won the Presidency and the Senate along with a not so convincing win in the House.

But the Democrats aren’t about to go easy and they have now resorted to openly defying the law and a court order in order to steal the Pennsylvania Senate race won by Republican Dave McCormick.

To that end they are counting votes determined to be illegal by the courts in Pennsylvania.

New York Post.

To be honest, I have no love for Dave McCormick. He is a typical Establishment / Uniparty / RINO with ties that go back to the Bush Jr. era. But his election does give the Republicans a more workable margin in the Senate so, despite him not being MAGA, I can live with it.

But the Democrats can’t. And by any means fair or foul they are determined to overturn this election by counting illegal ballots. And they don’t care if you like it or not. In fact Democrat Bucks County Commissioner Diane Ellis-Marseglia said:

“I think we all know that precedent by a court doesn’t matter anymore in this country.”

She further went on to say:

“People violate laws anytime they want. So for me, if I violate this law, it’s because I want a court to pay attention. There’s nothing more important than counting votes.”

Apparently, even illegal ones.

And they might get away with it. In the US system, once a vote is counted, legal or illegal, it’s almost impossible to un-count it.

And so it goes on. Even when they do it out in the open and tell you they’re doing it there are still those who refuse to believe.

NOTE: Casey has since conceded, but the General’s point is still valid – they (Dems) wanted to count legitimately disqualified votes in an attempt to get the election result they wanted and not the one the voters actually voted for – NA.

Nominated by : General Cuntster

Makes me proud to be Welsh.

”Dog-free zones needed to make outdoor spaces ‘anti-racist’, Welsh government told”

”A report by climate action group Climate Cymru BAME has recommended the canine-free areas should be introduced to “local green spaces” as part of the government’s Anti-Racist Wales Action Plan.”

Climate Cymru BAME? Impressive, it gets Climate, Welsh and blacks in one title. So, tell us more:-

” An evidence report also published by North Wales Africa Society, which works with Climate Cymru BAME, said a study found Black African females were concerned over a “general lack of safety” in some parks.”

At last someone is tackling racist labradors terrorising black mammas in parks.

Makes me proud to be Welsh. Try laughing at that you cunts.

MSN Link.

Nominated by : Cuntstable Cuntbubble

Seconded by : Ron Knee

May I second this excellent and timely nom, and add in support this report of more loony tunes thinking down Cardiff way?

Daily Fail.