are cunts.
I haven’t cunted for a while, as been busy with work. However, that period is coming to an end and I thought I would look around and see if I could find some part-time work to keep me during my impending retirement. Not looking for much, few days a week doing some nonsense. Easy peasy I thought – someone must need an old git who can still do some half decent maths and English. Obviously I haven’t dipped into the world of work for a while.
Oh dear and fuckity-fuck – what a bunch of cunts the whole job hunting thing is and, especially, agents and agencies. I saw a part-time job at a local college – basically baby sitting students. Ideal I thought – I’ll just send my cv in and Bob’s your uncle (or dad or sister here in Norfolk). How wrong I could be: you have to apply through n agency. Have to register with all sorts of details, then this common as muck slag calls me – all matey and smarmy. She then sends me some crap form to fill in online. IT went on for ever, had to watch shit videos about safeguarding, and prevent and FGM and….well, I lost the will to live. And then I finally got to the last page and it wants two references from recent work – FFS, I’ve spent 25 years self-employed. I don’t have any references from previous “employers” because I have employed myself! So I sent said slag an email – needless to say they can’t be arsed to reply.
How the fuck anyone gets a job nowadays I don’t know. I’m going to go to doc and say I’m depressed and get PIP – it will be a damn-sight simpler.
Nominated by Lord Cuntingford.
Quite so.
Modern Britain is full of red tape Bureaucratic Nightmares.
With the govt seemingly in charge of everything we do it does seem like they want us depending on them,despite all the evidence that they and their armies of box ticking minions couldn’t run a bath.
It’s all very odd,Orwellian almost..
An unaccountable bloated tottering mess.
Oven.
Good morning.
10
How the fuck anyone gets a job nowadays… they don’t, we probably have 10 to 15 million inactive poʻnces in this country..
They have plenty of money to drive around during the day, clogging up the roads..
We need to bring back the workhouse, or just start shooting lazy cunts..
14
Certainly there are over 5million people, of working age, claiming benefits.
My plan wouldn’t be as extreme Barry, just put them to work filling in potholes and cleaning up the roadside.
I had a mate who after working in the rapidly diminishing shoe trade got a job as a supervisor for 12 people running the community service scheme locally. He reported to a very ignorant black woman but who had all the right answers. Of his twelve staff he met 6 on his first day at work, 3 more over the following two weeks and 2 more over the following 3 months. One he never met at all over the 3 years he worked there and he suspected was a relative of his boss.
Thank God I was self-employed until retirement.
3
Having my sensible head on this morning; I do the recruiting for my company, read the CV’s, do the interviewing. We never use recruitment agencies, just a couple of engineering job sites.
The last two people I’ve interviewed, one 25, the other 32, both turned out to be clever, decent and responsible.
So it’s not all bad. We also take on older people from time to time, sometimes even older than me (I’m almost 54) so there’s hope there too.
I’ve also interviewed and rejected a whole bunch of under 25’s too, who were clearly going to be lazy and fuckwitted.
Probably working for smaller companies is the way to go for older applicants.
I’ll certainly consider the work and world experience of someone my age over some young whippersnapper any day.
6
Employment agencies generally are piss poor. Many of their staff have little or no understanding of the vacancies they are handling and some of them work on a system of sending every applicant after every job hoping someone will fit. From what you say though Lord C, it appears that most jobs still are only available through agencies. Last time I dealt with agencies was in the ’92 recession when I was made redundant. I was on the phone with a young woman who was all breathless enthusiasm until I told her my age of forty years. Silence for a second and then she blurted out; “Oh we couldn’t possibly find a job for somebody your age.” I was more amused than offended I must say. Even if she was fresh out of school she’ll be in her fifties now. I wonder where she is, what she’s doing?
4
It’s called ‘don’t bother bro’ syndrome 😖….last time I was made redundant many moons ago I had to keep a diary of my endeavours for looking for work, places went too,dates etc and then report to some spotty faced civil servant at the JC for a smacked hand if they deemed I wasn’t doing enough! Now it’s UC and no need for that rigmarole…just sit back and go for your KFC etc …sign on and look for work not in today’s GB that’s old 🎩 …mind you as the nom says you are better off out of today’s work environment with all the 🐂shit of 🏳️🌈,hurty words,cunts being employed who can’t do the job,he/him/her/what, etc…what a clusterfuck
6
so, as per my previous comment, to make ends meet I ran a little handy man business on the side.
One of my customers hired me to do a surprise fix on her sons potting shed, and old brick build lean too in a walled garden.
A beam had rotted and I lifted the roof and braced the beam, piece of piss £60 thank you.
Waited for him to come home, she was happy, he was happy.
Fast forward to Thursday and report at the job centre.
He walks through the door and sits at one of the desks, 5 mins later he shouts “Mr Benny”, I go over and sit in front of him, he looks at me, I look at him and he says “I cant deal with you” and sends me to a colegue.
Well you know how it goes, “Have you done any paid work this week?” well yes I said, told them I fixed a roof for £60.
Knob head asks if I would be doing it again, well no its fucking fixed now.
I calmly walked from the Job centre got in the car and drove straight round his mums house where I was reassured that he would not be grassing me up, fuck that was close.
4
We once had a neighbour who had a guy in to install some fitted furniture. At completion he told her that for cash he would leave off the VAT. She then informed him that she worked for the VAT inspectors. He departed smartly, she never paid him and never heard from him again. She was an unpleasant character but to give her her due she didn’t report him.
1
I’ve had experience of these wankers on one occasion. Once was enough.
And they don’t like it if you’ve been offered the job, yet turn it down.
They’re straight on the phone.
‘Why did you turn it down? It’s a fantastic offer’
‘No it’s not. The money turned out to be shit and the job is now at a different location to that advertised by you’.
‘But they really liked you’. Etc etc.
They kept ringing me for a whole week, but there was no improved offer. Told them to fuck off eventually.
And here’s the rub.
If the prospective employer had not bothered with an agency and added part of the money they saved in commission to my salary, I’d have taken their hand off.
And they call themselves business people?
4
good nom. my situation is near identical to yours, except that ive given myself another 2 years of self employment to do the same as you, so a good heads up as to the cunts that will make me jump through hoops, so i can push trollies around a car park at tesco for minimum wage when the time come……assuming the agency thinks i am suitably qualified
1
I have to say I went down that road myself a number of years ago.
I was made redundant and my skill set is rather specialised and I am a bit over educated in some departments.
Any way the Job centre, I was interviewed by a resent arrival who had poor grasp of English who pawed over my qualifications ect.
IPAF instructor, what is this?
Its a qualification from the international powered access federation that means I can teach you how to use the following types of machines. (explain machines)
Ah! fork lift driver! (I have never driven a forklift in my life!).
any way after 6 months of unemployment (and running a covert handy man business), I and a few others ended up in the naughty room.
We had to attend “Job club”, we were berated by a young student telling us that there were “so many jobs” advertised in the job centre yet we weren’t bothering to apply.
That’s when it happened, another of the “Lazy old gits” looked straight at her and said.
“My ex wife is the manager of Reid Employment, she is responsible for most of those adverts out there, the Jobs do not exist, she just records candidates to specific portfolios so that when she is approached by an employer she can present a selection of pre screened candidates, there is no job!”
Now for that reason I think employment agencies should be banned from advertising in Job centres.
I got a job directly from a previous employer, on the back of the wording from an agency advert, the job title is unique to my current employer so I phoned them up and was at a desk at the end of the month.
As an employer I will tell you agencies are shit, they advertise the job in the wrong locations, chances of anyone commuting that far for work are 0, and some of the candidates, well fuck me, try this one.
Agency recommended an employee with lots of previous experience…….
Things unsurprisingly went wrong, they were not making money and equipment went missing, in fact so did they.
It turns out he had his own on line Tool Hire Company, but no tools, was hiring our stuff out for himself and had an export import company to his native Ghana 😉😉
Agencies are fucking great 😏
2
Maths and English? Way too qualified for agency work!
That said, I spent a good 4 years deliberately homeless with a bus agency to save as much as possible while doing the bare minimum.
Free accomodation and never less than £1000 a week after taxes and umbrella nonsense after IR35 killed all the fun but I can’t rate the particular Moldovan woman at the London based agency highly enough, as contracts ended or when I got sacked from various places for various things ( even getting out bus to lamp a cyclist wasnt enough for agency to punt me) she would always give me a list of options available to go to and of nothing was immediately available, she would stick me in a Wetherspoons or Travelodge for a week til something came up that I hadnt been sacked from.
HOWEVER… Theres a shitload of no speaka English bus drivers out there on agency rates raking in £50k plus a year as well as either with free accomodation or with a healthy accomodation allowance.
Yardies used to come over for 6 month stints then fuck off home to live like kings til the money dried up, always a good laugh as they don’t give a fuck, as are most well melanin’d Africans. But more recently seemed to be East Africans with funny baldness patterns, large foreheads and one licence between 3.
3
Oh, and when I was much younger and needing some cash I tried my luck with an agency, sent to a fucking veg factory where the work was 12 hours a day either cutting onions in half or deseeding chillies. First half hour, hated it. Soon warmed to the idea when I realised I was the only guy surrounded by what to me back then was an exotic assortment of Latvians, Lithuanians, Poles and Portugese to shag my way through, which I proceeded to do for a couple of months.
2
i hope you washed your chilli fingers before groping said latvians good sir? went for a piss after cutting some up in the kitchen a few years ago….fuck me
4
I ended up getting crates of stuff from the cold store and feeding the production line mostly rather than lurching over it thank fuck. Many life lessons were learned in those 2 months but mainly gloves for anything to do with more than a jalapeno.
1
I’ve been self-employed for 30 years and loved it.
You’d have to pay me to work for someone else.
4
Serious question Geordie
How do you get round IR35?
0
I’m not a contractor Odin, so IR35 doesn’t apply to me.
1
Did you have your own coal mine Geordie? Or perhaps a whippet farm?
⛏️🐩
1
I have to complete all kinds of compulsory crap as a job requirement, online training such as: Modern Slavery, Online Security, IT Health and Safety and, of course, EDI to name but a few. These have to be ‘updated’ (completed again) every two years.
I’m a truck driver ffs, so on top of all this I have to keep my CPC ( more same shit over again) up to date as well as keep a written daily hours and job record and complete and sign a individual job check list stating the fucking obvious.
2
All those form are just so some other fucker has covered their arse in employing you…thank ‘blame culture’ for all that paperwork.
0
The company I worked for did all in-house recruiting. Starting with an advert in the local paper, then :
IQ test. 3 hours.
Interview with HR.
IQ test 1 hour.
Medical, line up bollocks out ” cough” says the another doc..!
Then 1 month later success/ failure.
That was 1972, never had a CV ( other than a Citroen 2CV).
Never been to a job centre.
Never used an agency ( not a Job one )
Now retired….
COLONIZED STARMER, LISTEN TO A BLOKE WHO ISN’T AFRAID TO TELL THE TRUTH..!
4
I would think that you could argue the same case for the USA a couple of centuries ago.
🤯
0
The colonisation is running out of control, oh dear the lefty cunts don’t like it.
It may not be a complete takeover but in parts of cities and towns it bloody well is, 2050 net zero indigenous white people.
0
Jim Radcliffe may well be a bit of a cunt, as everything he sponsors seems to do shit thereafter, but having an opinion regarding ‘colonisation’ and then being told by the PM…no less, that he shouldn’t hold that opinion and be forced to apologise, tells you all you need to know about the UK today.
0
Ratcliffe…….even.
0
When I became boss of my own cotton plantation I advertised for blacks only.
You just can`t win.
🪻
1
I applied for a job in Newcastle shaving the ladies’ growlers in a Beauty Salon. They told me to wait in the queue for an interview..
Unfortunately the end of the queue was in Leeds.
2
I’ve been in shorter queues for Cup Final tickets.
0
Due to my parents being poor just after the war, I more or less had to go into dead end jobs, labouring for more money. That’s why I amounted to nothing in my whole working life. Remember becoming a lubrication engineer that sounded more important than oiler and greaser in an engineering factory. after just being shown the ropes. I would sell oil to work mates for more cash.
Worked at another job has a crane driver. Again told to climb up there and twiddle a few knobs, loading metal tubes on to lorries. Could easily have killed workmates but only a few broken bones and they didn’t seem to mind.
Forgotten to tell you my first job repairing tea chests in the fifties. We emptied tea from the broken ones and shared it out at the end of the week. Was also a Doffer in Cotton Mills. These were a few of the shit jobs I did. Now retired with pensions from a few of them. Oh, I was a loom cleaner, looking up ladies skirts.
1
A few years ago the mantra was 1.1 million job vacancies that can’t be filled, fast forward to today unemployment at 5% and rising.
If you want a job it has to be above minimum wage otherwise it’s better to be on UC, these agencies like to promote even shit jobs as thought they are something wonderful and want so much information it isn’t worth bothering.
Thank fuck I am past all that.
As for modern slavery, claim that and you are on the gravy train.
There is only one answer, stop all immigration and cut benefits in half, see how many are keen to get a job.
0