Tony Hatch

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Why has Tony Hatch never been cunted?

I know he wrote ‘Joanna’ for Scott Walker and ‘Downtown’ for Petula Clark, but the cunt also wrote the themes to Crossroads and Emmerdale – dirges that make any sane person want to slit their wrists… Hatch could discover a cure for cancer, but even that would never compensate for being responsible for that shower of shite!

Nominated by: Fred West

13 thoughts on “Tony Hatch”

  1. Hatch was also responsible for the abomination that was the Neighbours theme… I still cringe when I remember cunts in the late 80s treating this Aussie shite like it was a cultural phenonmenon or the new religion… Hatch also wrote the sickly Mr & Mrs theme (remember Derek fuckling Batey?)… Hatch, however, also wrote the score for the film, Sweeney 2… Which was nowhere near as good as the series or Harry South’s original theme tune and soundtrack…

    Hatch’s ‘Crossroads’ was given a dramatic makeover by McCartney and Wings… The great guitar playing is Jimmy McCulloch (Thunderclap Newman and, briefly, The Small Faces)… Jimmy is sadly no longer with us and he had a big falling out with McCartney over Macca’s attitude towards him as a musician… I bet George Harrison said “Join the fucking club, Jimmy…”

    • Too be fair Harrison was a thrawn moody cunt who was a fully paid up member of the awkward club.

      • Fair point… Even the infamously difficult Lennon said that things were always ‘Black and white’ with Harrison, and that there was ‘just no telling him….’

  2. Anyone who could wear a suit like that with a straight face, even if it was in the 70’s is undoubtedly a cunt.

  3. Today I’m nominating Thomas Evans, aka Abdul Hakim, aka dead terrorist. Yes, Evans is one of two “British” terrorists who sent the media into a frenzy last week by dying in two separate terrorist attacks. Evans died in Kenya. He was shot dead whilst attacking a Kenyan army post with Al Shabaab. An attack in which, apparently, Evans was second in command.

    The other one, who’s name I’ve forgotten, was a paki (yes, I did just use that word, and I don’t give a fuck) from Dewsbury who died carrying out a homicide bomb attack in Iraq that unfortunately killed several innocent people. Naturally, his friends and family were completely mystified as to how this “quiet, good, decent, hard working, blah blah blah” boy could have become a terrorism. Honest ‘guv, they never knew nothing about him being radicalised.

    Evans though, was a white convert. Apparently he’d been showing signs of radicalisation for some time, according to his mother. Presumably, the biggest sign was his conversion to the religion of mental illness. In fact, his mother had become so concerned by his behaviour, which included him growing a ridiculous looking beard, that she contacted the police. He’d even tried to get his mother and brother to convert to Islam. Otherwise they would “burn in hell”.

    Ironically a couple of hours earlier, the prick who led the attack was videoed boasting about how hard they were, “we are lions”, etc. He also claimed that the Kenyans were terrified of Al Shabaab, and were “crying like babies”. Unfortunately for Evans, and a lot of the other terrorist scum, the Kenyan army didn’t get that memo. There was also film of Evans/Hakim celebrating with other terrorists prior to the attack. There was lots of jollity and “Allahu Ackbar”, which if my memory of Arabic is correct roughly translates as, “Allah takes it up the shit chute”. The best video though, was shot by Evans himself. It was taken by his body cam. And shows him getting shot dead.

    Naturally, his mother and brother are distraught over his death. They in no way condone his acts of terrorism, which by all accounts were many, and included the murders of a lot of innocent men, women and children. Few others though will shed a tear over the death of a terrorist and a traitor. I did find myself asking one question though. If one family of a terrorist could see that something was seriously wrong, and be concerned enough to inform the police, why couldn’t the other family? Especially since the other family were all born muslims and therefore even more likely to spot that something was wrong.

    Anyway. I think it’s safe to say that as we speak, the 17 year old paki, and Evans/Hakim are, at this very moment, down in hell, choking on the dongs of demons.

    • Nope, they’re currently being two of the 72 virgins promised to other repressed homosexual virgins who kill women and children in the name of a kiddy fiddling prophet and his imaginary sky færy……for eternity.

      And by the way I am now fucking both of your mothers with a good old fashioned length of Anglo Saxon PORK sword because you’re not around to do anything about it.

      • I’ll drink to tha Odin. what they don’t also say is the virgins are men. Unless sexual activity of the women excluded the father brother or eventual cousin they married. Allow akkbaar

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