The worlds oldest bachelor boy has only been messing around with his unique take on making Christmas gravy. The wrinkled rocker uses four different flavours of stock cube, beef, chicken, lamb and vegetable before adding fried onions, teriyaki sauce, Worcestershire sauce, gravy powder and red wine.
“Probably the greatest” gravy recipe in the world says Cliff. Oh really? I can’t see Cliff making anything in the kitchen on his own, isn’t that what houseboys are for?
Professional chefs have described it as “absolutely vile”, not that I take much notice of those cunts. Homemade recipes passed down the generations like a precious family heirloom and local takes on the brown gold are the way to go.
Stick to the wine Cliff you heathen.
Has anyone propped up Miserable and given him some smelling salts yet?
Nominated by Liberal Liquidator.
Cliff Richards gravy…
Not the sort of thing you want to hear at the Christmas Dinner table..
Unless your mandy mandelson..
25
Come along sir,
Ducky is now H.M Ambassador to the Greatest Living American.
15
Lord Back Alli’s going to be providing Ferrero Rocher anal beads for our soon-to-be Ladyboy in Washington.
Until she resigns in disgrace (3rd time, 4th time? I’ve lost count) after being caught looking for fresh botty on Pennsylvania Avenue.
16
More politicisation of the Foreign Office and the Civil Service.
I couldn’t agree more Geordi, just give it time. I think the new President might make life difficult for Mandy.
7
Are we going to run a sweepstake on how long he lasts before being persona non grata?
8
Just reading what he puts in it is making me gip.
13
Indeed, it sounds like it would look like something that should be spread on the roads by the council. If I served anything like that at home, my other half would probably smash the place up.
4
Looks like the shirt lifter prefers to put it on his hair rather than food.
18
In the words of my father – “A right Mary Helen”.
4
Nice to know the frightful old quare is still mincing in the kitchen. It is incredible to see in W. H. Smith the old poofter has produced yet another calendar for 2025, which is a great tribute to the embalmers art, and the powers of Max Factor. It isn’t cheap, but when you think of all the artificial aids needed to produce it that is no surprise. It shows also, there is hope for every ugly bastard who wants to sit on your wall for 365 days that there is scope for a calendar. Why not give Cliff a year off and buy instead the AnalEase Dodds nude calendar?. Ms Dodds in twelve suggestive poses, involving a 5 inch face flannel and plenty of pubic hair. Both published by The Archeology Press, each comes in a plain brown envelope.
Necrophilia lives!
14
Gravy, so that’s what keeps him alive and kicking. Running his boarding house for the Blairs. I expect Mandy will be over there celebrating his recently awarded role as arsebassador to the US.
Good morning, everyone.
12
If any of my fellow Cunters ever feel a bit down in the dumps try to recall Dear Aunty’s Beebs salacious coverage of the police raid on Cliff’s fortress style mansion.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-44871799.amp
that excellent coverage cost us 2 million quid.
Drown the stinking cunts in Cliffs arse Gravy.
Good morning.
13
Quote Of The Year
“When did the BBC become the mouthpiece of this infernal government?” Copy-write J. Clarkson
17
If that’s his idea of jumping on the gravy train, he might as well shove it back up the governments arse.
8
Mangelen- I’m free!
0
Ffs, Mandelson
2
Cliff’s gravy probably needs thickening with spray cheese.
13
I’d forgotten all about the raddled ole luvvie.
Assumed he croaked it back in that year when they dropped like flies every month….
As for his arse gravy, no thanks. Taking instructions from Cliff on cooking is like taking lessons on health and morality from Wes Duckie Streeting.
It’s a no from me, and as it a cooking related nom, oven please Unkle.
16
Cliff’s looking the shadow of his former self.
15
Be thankful.
While he is busy making gravy he is not churning out yet another God awful Christmas number one.
I don’t think that he’s bent.
There are people around who will fuck anything so it probably stands to reason that there are people who just don’t want to fuck.
He’s one of them.
14
He just likes living with his ‘special friend’ for 30 years, who entirely coincidentally happens to be an ex-catholic priest.
Definite friend of Dorothy.
6
Did Sue Barker think Cliff would ever bone her?
Or did she catch him with a Livin’ Doll rent boy?
9
Young Cliff was advertising for a live-in doll, to help with the boys rent.
8
If Cliff ever shared the holiday apartment with duckie Anthony Blair I wonder which if them played the man?. Fights every morning over the Oil of Ulay.
10
Despite being No. 1 she was never seeded (during her time with Cliff).
4
It’s missing something….. maybe some spray cheese!
Mandy may be off to America to suck Dons knob (perhaps with cliffs gravy)
And breaking news, the two Manc airport P’s have finally been charged 👏👏👏
11
Police?
4
No, no charges (at the moment) for the police
2
@soi….their friends in high places will no doubt get it reduced to a friendly bit of argy bargy 😩….’free poppadoms all round’ 👊
10
I’m sure they’ll get on famously.
Both deviants.
Both frequent visitors to Epstein Island.
Both intensely relaxed about people getting filthy rich, lol.
9
First Porridge, then Cheese, now Gravy. Oh how the mighty (Isac) have fallen.
Is that snow?
No, just rain dear.
mornin’ and it looks grim out there with the treat of high wind again.
7
This place has become a real echo chamber.
2
You have reminded me there used to be a song entitled “Little Sir Echo” , and now I shall not rest until I have run it to earth. I really am too old to waste my remaining time on such trivialities but am unable to resist.
2
Triton: Allow me – Bing Crosby in 1939 with vocal backing from the Wes Streeting Gay Choir (free from lust and foul desire – he sings soprano in the choir):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vo8iC7NmHcs
1
I thankyou Mr Boggs. all the best for the festivities
0
Got myself a walking talking living TWAT….!
11
Imagine the shallow Child graves cluttering up his private estate.
I’m hoping he has a death count of over at least 25. The 70s and 80s must of been prime hunting time for Cliff and the gang.
7
Here kitty kitty.
0
Still at least he tried something different, I saw Rodney starmers gravy recipe..
One cup of tepid tap water…
Talk to it until it turns stagnant.
Serve cold after four or five restarts.
Blame tory blackhole for taste..
11
I moved from the south to the north twenty five years ago and all they go on about up here is fucking gravy the dirty fucks.
I have even seen these scoundrels eating it for BREAKFAST ffs
I want to hear nothing of Cliff’s gravy
6
Northern boys luv gravy.
Proof:-
https://youtu.be/2R56WZsL-QA?si=7WeQ7-dAlyVyT_Lh
1
The Antichrist: You shall know him by his ways.
⁶𖤐⁶⛧𐕣⸸𐕣⸸𐕣⛧𐕣⸸⁶𖤐⁶
🎁
5
Anyone for tennis?
Look Cliff ,
I don’t tell you how to be a nancyboy,
Or write a shitty pop song.
There’s nowt you can tell me about gravy,
I was breastfed it.
I don’t want your aids gravy.
Some things are sacred.
Gravy is one of em.
9
Are we going to run a sweepstake on how long he lasts before being persona non grata?
6
Controversial opinion here. I like some of the old cunts songs. But not any of his Christmas offerings.
4
I like this one. Sounds a bit dangerous or daring. Well as dangerous or daring as Cliff ever got.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJwwIDCeqoU
1
Kind of puts me in mind of Liz Hurley in the film Bedazzled.
1
Would still give Liz a monumental tonking. No danger.
Cliff was a good sport on the Kenny Everett Video Show. Ken would take the piss mercilessly, but Cliff always took it well.
‘And tonight, we end with a cliffhanger.’
With Cliff hanging from the ceiling.
2
He’s one hundred percent a vile pedarast. Call me a weirdo, but I can feel it in my bones. He’s done evil shit. It’s written all over him.
7
https://youtu.be/vuY_bs69dX0?si=B_1tOs8Ne1gWi3qA
3
Haha I actually commented on that very video a year ago. I was thinking it for Sam Smith at the time.
0
I’d rather eat spray cheese than Cliff’s gravy.
4
I reckon spray cheese and Cliff’s gravy would go well with porridge.
Eaten with spuds……. With chopsticks.
4
Right shade of white, can carry a tune, and his diction is clearly understandable English.
Not my choice of easy listening, but if we were all the same it would be pretty dull place.
Harmless enough I guess and got royally rodgered by the BBC.
Mow Mr Zappa’s “Lumpy Gravy” is another story. .
4
The 12′ of ‘We Don’t Talk Any More’ was his finest hour.
Not so keen on his Christmas records. mind.
4
The words 12 inch and Cliff Richard make me vomit a little bit in my mouth.
5
You have a point there, Termujin.
2
I dread to think about what else Cliff has as ‘gravy’.
His festive No, 1 hit ‘Saviour’s Day’ gives us a clue,
‘He is gobblin’ you, a-gobblin’ you.’
3
There’s a long-term rumour that Cliff Richard has a colostomy bag. Nothing to titter about, but his talk of gravy does write its own gags. I wonder whether he had it when he made the, ‘We’re all going on a, bummer holiday’ film. It must’ve been difficult for Mervyn Hayes to negotiate.
4
Melvyn Hayes has about eight kids, Captain.
A full blown ladies man in real life.
4
I still remember the impressions of Cliff from 70s and 80s TV. Usually a Little and Large speciality, if you can call it that.
Those popping and whooping noises.
‘Hi fans ‘POP!’ Great to be here guys ‘OOP!’
And here’s my latest single ‘POOP!’
I think they were trying to tell us something
4
Bobby Davro used to do that. Probably one of the only funny impressions Bobby Davro did.
2
I remember Bobby and Eddie Large doing Clifff.
Mike Yarwood probably did it as well.
3
I remember the one where Cliff impersonates a singer, classic.
Also the other one, impersonating a straight guy.
Comedy gold.
1
Note to self: add this cunt to the deadpool.
1