*Deadline Oct 10, 2024*
It’s the end of the fourth day’s play in the first test match between Pakistan and England in Multan, and what a feast of run-making we’ve seen on what’s proved to be a nightmare pitch for bowlers.
Pakistan batted first and must have fancied their chances after running up a very tidy score of 556, including three centuries. England however decided that they were having a laugh, and proceeded to rattle the ball around with gay abandon. Yorkies Harry Brook and Joe Root made 317 and 262 respectively, with Crawley chipping in 78 and Duckett 84, as England amassed 823-7 dec., the fourth highest total in test history.
And what of England captain Ollie Pope in this England run extravaganza? Well, the lad was out facing only his second delivery, without, as they used to say in the golden age of Test Match Special, ‘troubling the scorers’.
You’ve got to feel sorry for him, but at the same time you can’t help but laugh. He must feel like a right twat for missing out on this track. I bet he’d like to kick his own arse, and you can’t blame him.
Nominated by Ron Knee.
Poor sod.
If he was the only bloke at an all-night party with Dirty Ange and Katie Price, both on heat and gagging for it, he’d still fail to score.
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As my mate Big Al puts it, he couldn’t score in a barrel of fannies.
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To sort of borrow from Porridge…
‘If Christina Hendricks had triplets, that poor cunt would be in the middle on the bottle.’
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Flopped again in the third test, amassed a total of four in two knocks.
Mind you, at least this time he had ten other plonkers him.
Afternoon all.
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Looks like the rest of the team got inspired by that performance. What an Omnishambles! Sweeping against spin is only going to go one way. Fortunately, Alex Hartley had the incredible insight from get commentary; “England’s batting was not ideal” she’s good to look at, sadly that doesn’t help on TMS.
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Sounds as though she was being, erm, careful with her choice of words…
Fucking useless more like.
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Not really a cunt for that, but for the four he scored in the two innings in the third test.
But seeing as the smelly paķis had doctored the pitch by making it dryer than Rodney’s wife’s snatch when he takes off the y fronts lord alli had bought him.
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I heard that they had patio heaters and huge fans out on it.
I’d have thought that such a blatant attempt to doctor the pitch to favour their spinners would be against the rules.
Still I suppose you could say that it’s the same track for both sides.
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Pah! They batted arrogantly, if they’d just dropped anchor on Friday and done nothing but defends for 20 overs it would have pissed off Pakistan and started the day well. Duckett seems utterly incapable of leaving though, regardless of the situation.
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Botham in 1981 is still the greatest. Destroyed the Aussies virtually single handed.
He really was the big bollocks.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pyAMrtYR0-g
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In fairness he may have had a googly in his crease.
Mein Gott, I know I have !
🌵
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I must say, Herr Schicklgruuber, how gratifying it is to hear of a boxhead coming to terms with the finer points of cricket. I had always assumed it was all a bit of a mystery to the Boche.
Guten tag, mein Herr.
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It’s a fucking mystery to me Geordie and I’m English.
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Just as importantly,how the fuck do the English players avoid having The Shits for the entire tour?
Batting collapse?
Bowels collapse.
It’s just not cricket.
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Absolutely. You couldn’t pay me enough to go to that rat infested shithole.
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I can’t imagine they was many supporters at the game, as most are camping at calais ready to invade the land of milk and money..
Still some good news with Rodney signing up to give all our money to the commonwealth pavement apes.
The smelly cunts will have to do with a holiday Inn instead of the ritz.
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