The press ( are cunts)
Publish articles that are not only click bait, but cause people to worry unnecessarily.
Take this item, for example.
Note the word ‘pandemic’
Deliberately used to cause distress and concern and, of course, get people to click onto the article ( or farticle, as I like to call it. All hot air and a lingering, nasty smell)
Shame on you. There was once a nobility about the press, whatever happened to the Truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?
Nominated by : Jeezum Priest
On a similar note, most articles seem to have picture links underneath with the same bullshit, “Everyone’s talking about this anti-aging technique”.
No they aren’t.
By the way, if you want to read articles free of annoying cookie bollocks and popups, get Brave browser on your phone, which also works for ad-free Youtube.
Also, for paywalled articles, copy the address into:
txtity.it
and read for free.
Good morning one and all.
19
You wouldn’t post a link to cause someone deliberate and unnecessary distress and concern would you Cunt Engine?
The very thought of it.
Morning Thomas/all.
9
I always maintain cum is the ultimate anti aging/anti wrinkle product to my female friends.
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Why do you think Justin Bieber looks so fresh faced?
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Cunts
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I believe everything I read and so should all of you.
The media have always been cunts.
They use sensationalism to sell a story.
Luckily I couldn’t give a fuck about yanks getting bird flu and my stock answer to most stories is
Fuck em.
Great morning,
Nice and fresh👍
Daughter moving out today.
I’ll be sliding down the stairs on a tea tray and dancing around the house like Macaulay Culkin😁
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If you are helping her move I hope you are charging full price with no family discount offered.
I helped move a three piece suite for my mums neighbour the other day. Fuck me it was hard work. It was one of those park homes so everything a bit smaller than the usual bricks and mortar.
They weren’t famous and didn’t offer me their old floorboards though, must be a northern thing.
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Morning LL,
Your mum lives on a caravan park?
Does she go to Appleby fair? 😀
Naw, she’s getting a freebie
Like kier Starmer in that regard.
She’s taking a treadmill that’s pretty heavy.
We live in the shadows of the Pennine hills!!!
The best walking you can get.
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Park home site, exclusive detached bungalows thank you very much. These are my ‘granny gardens’….good earners!. And as much tea and fruitcake as you can handle plus some casual racism and homophobia.
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Got to love the old biddies, LL.
Absolutely no filters, and all “woke” means to them is what time they got out of bed.
The Berserkers mother is unbelievable, she refers to our brethren of African heritage as n1gn0gs, all the time.
She even makes me go “whoa, you can’t say that!”
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That actually sounds rather pleasant, LL.
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Come on now Mis, you’re not fooling us. Admit it, you’re really going to miss her.
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Yes Arfur,
Don’t know who’s going to block the plugholes with 4ft long ginger hair and leave the sink full of pots now?
I think at 29yrs old your ready to leave the nest😄
7
29? Well the poor dear can barely afford a mortgage or her own.
It’s well known that that generation cannot get onto the property ladder.
2
I agree Mis. We were 23 and 21. Ours were gone for good in their early twenties, in fact the elder fucked off to Japan when she was 18 and only returned intermittently a couple of times after that. Mind you they don’t hesitate to phone for money, advice or help. At least you’ll only be hacking over to Warrington; the elder is back in Torquay now.
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That’s funny Mis, about the yanks getting bird flu and flew away for good.
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Sensational.
Shocking.
Scandal.
Pandemic.
Worrying.
Alarming.
Far Right.
…
get fucked,Oven.
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Good morning all.
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Some people might regard this BBC headline as click bait: an “iconic” (the most overused word in Britain today) much loved (by himself) TV presenter is about to make positively his last TV appearance:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/czxdwv4v1p7o
The rest of us might think that this is probably untrue because the mincing old poofter can’t resist the limelight. Mind you he looks quite raddled without all the duckie makeup.
The other two headlines that boil my piss are:
“Viewers see [insert any fairly well known name] and they all say the same thing”
and
“Seeing how/where [insert another fairly well known name] lives now will break your heart”
Everything these days in newspapers is supposed to “break your heart”. Perhaps the copytaker has misheard and what they said was “make you fart”
and it is almost obligatory to read:
“The return of Strictly Come Prancing – all you need to know”
All I need to know is not to switch on the TV set.
Finally something perhaps unique to the Daily Express is “Minutes Into Good Morning Britain, So-and-so stops the show for a special announcement”. Every fucking day. Good morning.
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How so-and-so looks now will drop your jaw!
No, it really won’t. Because I don’t give a fuck.
Thinking about it, the only thing that might drop my jaw for about half a second is seeing a mushroom cloud suddenly appear over London. Right before I’m vaporised.
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Danger to life – It’s going to rain.
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Extreme ( and uneccessary) weather warnings deserve a cunting all of their own, CC.
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BOGGS WEEKLY NEWS
Dateline 29th September 2024
THIS PHOTOGRAPH OF LADY VICTORIA STARMER WILL S H O C K YOU!
https://www.pornpics.com/galleries/skinny-asian-shemale-emmy-flaunts-her-massive-knob-and-big-tits-before-sex-57395064/
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Shocked my guts inside out, you dirty cunt!
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Christ on a bike, WTF is that?
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I hope they can never pull out and one has to murder the other, to get free, the dirty bastards.
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The biggest shock there is “Ms Starmers” size, I thought asians all had matchsticks.
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and as if that’s not bad enough.. It’s H5N1 not HN51. Thick cunts.
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That annoys me fatjon. I remember Kirsty Wark used to shuffle the letters around in a previous bird flu outbreak.When I was working I was on the road and quite often when the office phoned with the next call the gave me corrupt figures. Sometimes they would read out a phone number for a customer which was obviously invalid. That wasn’t as bad as when they gave me a number in a valid format and I would phone ahead and speak to some poor sod who didn’t know who the fuck I was and assumed I was a scammer of some kind. I was once given the wrong exit number off the M4; that wasted an hour and a gallon. When satnavs came along I soon learned to ignore postcodes I was given for customers after following a couple of them and winding up in some random spot miles from where I needed to be.
6
How’s this for click bait –
Ellen DeGeneres reveals 3 health diagnoses after ‘excruciating pain’: ‘I could disintegrate in the shower’.
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Wish she fucking would.
13
The news you want to know of kwak stammer being kicked out on his ear is always late.
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Slightly different tangent but try watching anything about F1 on youtube without a clickbait title and a video full of pure speculation, or reading an article about it from almost any of the “motorsports journalism” sites, again, pure clickbait,blood boiling clickbait.
Almost makes Starmer seem like he is on a just cause to stop the spread of misinformation.
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Good one CP, reckon that starmer would stand a better chance of ending masturbation than misinformation. So much bollocks flying around I was nearly convinced that Hezbollah were the good guys and was going to write a stern letter to the makers of their pagers.
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I will click on anything that says Rodney has been taking it up the arse from gaylord alli.
This oily, brittle cunts slow downfall has been delicious.
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‘Shock’, ‘fury’, ‘horror’, ‘misery’ are stock meeja words. Good news is no news.
We’re on the brink of WWIII by the way. We know this because they’ve been telling us that every day since about 1947.
Morning all.
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WW3 would be handy. We could have a fucking good clear out at home while the lefties attention is diverted elsewhere.
4
Good idea fatjon, then the chocolates can be used as canon fodder, again !
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Anyone who takes anything they read, hear or see in the meeja seriously, is a gullible cunt, Anyone who goes to the BBC to find out what is going on deserves to be carried off to the woods by giant insects.
Good morning, everyone.
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Knee jerking cunts
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Trained journo here. News writing is fucking hard. Really hard. I agree with this nom wholeheartedly.
It fucking winds my donk when you get some half-arsed blogger who’s employed by a once-decent publication to churn ‘content’. Case in point here: https://www.autosport.com/dtm/news/audi-splits-with-ex-dtm-and-rallycross-champion-mattias-ekstrom-after-two-decades/10658080/
The factual inaccuracies and typos here sent me spastic.
That’s why most of us leave the profession.
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