A while ago now I gave an IsAC kicking to those wearying tropes that infest films (especially American ones). You know, those tired, hackneyed scenes and bits of dialogue that lazy,unoriginal writers and directors just can’t resist throwing in. It was something I had to get off my chest.
Well I’ve recently spent some time recovering from surgery, and have watched a lot of ‘movies’, and boy, did those bastard clichés just keep on coming. Here’s a further selection of dialogue that should have been put to death years ago;
*if you kill him, you’re no better than he is
*this isn’t what it looks like
*I got this/I can do this
*we have to get the bullet out/we have to stop the bleeding
*I want your badge and your gun
*we have to go right now
*you’re gonna have to trust me on this
oh, and in case I forget…
As if that shit wasn’t bad enough, here’s another selection of scenes to make you grind your teeth;
*spies/villains checking the compartments in the ‘wash room’
*the hero walking away from a huge explosion without looking back (in slo-mo)
*a stolen suit or uniform always fits the hero perfectly
*cut to the view through a cardboard cut out when someone is using binoculars
*snap/snap/snap rapid photo images when someone is under surveillance
*heroes walking strung out in line abreast (slo-mo of course)
and again, lest I forget, it’s…
I mean come on you guys; is this stuff really the best that you can come up with? Fuckin hell, let’s get outta here.
Nominated by Ron Knee.
My favourite scene from pulp fiction.
“I’m a mushroom cloud layin motherfucker, motherfucker.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Qtn2_XiEbCI
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WTF is that film about? Watched after the pub once……
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Just about one of the best films ever made tbh.
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O/T.
Been to Manchester today, Jesus H Christ.
To quote the beloved Bernard Manning.
I felt like a white spot on a domino…!
This country is well and truly fucked…⚒️
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I don’t go any more, ZM-273.
Born in Manchester, and been there most of my life.
It’s now full of graffiti, boarded up places. pisspots and spiceheads. The Arndale Centre is like the set of Zulu. Piccadilly Gardens is a concrete shitheap and a meeting place for ASBO scum, and every other voice is some loudmouthed piece of Dooshka Eurofilth.
And, you’ll be hard pushed to find a decent chippy in the city centre.
Once there were loads. Now it’s all crappy student shite like Sushi bars and fucking Starbucks. A load of crap.
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Charlie Veitch (plenty on youtube) goes around Manchester with his bodycam (and very often a bodyguard). Sums up what you described Norman, although he can be a bit intrusive and quite nasty himself at times.
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I like the well known film cliches that were actually never said.
Stuff like…
‘Don’t push me!’ – Sly in First Blood (he actually very quietly says ‘Don’t push it’).
‘Do ya feel lucky, Punk?’ – Clint in Dirty Harry. Harry really says ‘You’ve got to ask yourself a question. Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, Punk?’
‘Not a lot of people know that’ – Michael Caine. Never said anywhere ever, and certainly never said at all by Michael Caine.
‘Please Sir, Can I have some more?’ – Mark Lester in Oliver! The lad said ‘Please, Sir I want some more.’
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And perhaps the most famous one…
‘Luke , I am your father’ – Darth Vader in the Empire Strikes Back.
What Vader said was ‘No, I am your father.’
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Ah yes, the oft-misquoted movie quotes. Surely the origin of the Mandela Effect.
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‘Play it again Sam’
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You forgot to include horror movie cliches like making all of the characters in the film:
a) Stupid
b) Unlikable
or
c) Stupid and unlikable
Whichever of the above applies to the character, you always end up rooting for the bad guy.
There’s also the tendency (which seems more prevalent in modern TV/movie writing) to make the character choose the worst and dumbest decision in any given scenario which no sane or rational person would do, just to raise the stakes and add dramatic tension.
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They made a whole movie like this called attack the block. Chavs Vs aliens. Obviously I would be rooting for the aliens.
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The one that pisses me off is when there’s a manic on the loose in the dark outside the house. The heroine tells the kids ‘stay inside, lock the doors!’.
Then…
gets a touch and goes outside…
As you do.
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& I think to round off…… “There’s nothing like the smell of napalm in the morning.”
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Duvall absolutely stole that film hands down. Brilliant performance.
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It’s the smell of victory.
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I think what annoys me about films is the lack of general perception. I saw the Batman, and one of the things that really pissed me off were the scenes in Arkham Asylum. This is supposed to be a major security facility for the criminally insane and you don’t see ANY security guards. Even in the scenes where Batman is speaking to Riddler in the visitor area, you don’t see a guard standing in the corner. Also, it’s funny to think one of the only films that’s done Wayne Manor justice on film is The Lego Batman Movie.
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On the plus side, I think The Wire is refreshing realistic in the way most of it’s storylines unfold.
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A near perfect show.
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Great nom, Ron.
Loved the obsession with cutting the bullet out.
To take things further, how about when one of the bank robbers gets shot and has catastrophic internal bleeding.
His pals summon a tame doctor who has inevitably lost their licence,looks unkempt,stinks of booze and wears thick pebble glasses.
“You gotta save him, Doc or else”
Obviously the old doc has brought along his own anaesthetic machine,a sealed pack of surgical instruments, packs of O-negative blood etc …..and is highly skilled in thoracic surgery!
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