Bognor Regis – The Lost City of Atlantis

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Argus.

‘Bugger Bognor’, as the dying King George V said. Nowadays not so much ‘bugger’ as ‘buggered’, apparently.

A Climate Central (no, me neither) report paints a devastating picture of vast swathes of the Sussex coastline being lost to the sea thanks to our perennial favourite, climate change. And poor old Bognor is going to disappear completely, so its council has declared a climate emergency. As you do.

Except read on and it appears that the report takes no account of the town’s sea defences, namely a shingle beach and promenade. In other words, if there were no sea defences, Bognor would get flooded. A brilliant observation when you consider that part of the town is below sea level.

Hey Bognor Town Council, how about declaring a pothole emergency and stick to fixing something within your capabilities?

Nominated by : Geordie Twatt

36 thoughts on “Bognor Regis – The Lost City of Atlantis”

  1. Peter Kyle, one of the more butch Labour duckies would tell you there’s no place like Hove.

    If Bognor is disintegrating and crumbling I can only suggest David Lammy, Dawn Butler and Diane Abbott have spent holidays there. Madame Sue Gray was the last straw……

    There are some lovely places in Sussex. I bet the Devils Dyke is a favourite of Jess Phillips (and “Mr.” Phillips, of course). And Kim Leadbetter.

    • Sussex?

      This sounds like a situation made to order for self gratification and grandiose pronouncements.

      Where are those selfless, woke, social justice warriors, the Duke and Duchess of Montesussex and their Arsewell Charity?

    • Aaahhhh…..walked the Devil’s Dyke many times in my yoof.

      East Sussex, Harvey’s bitter, hot sausage roll from the bakery in Lewes, the South Downs, bag of BBQ beef Hula-Hoops and a custard tart from Tesco, boating on the river Ouse…..happy and simpler times……tearing up here…..

  2. Over 40 year’s ago I decided to take an adventurous, long haul holiday to somewhere that nobody had ever heard of.
    It was basic and cheap and it took fucking ages to fly there, stopping off in various countries to pick up a few passengers here and there who also wanted to go somewhere remote.

    The Maldives.

    At that time the islands were virtually unheard of.

    All of the islands are just about above sea level.
    By that I mean that there is nowhere more than a meter high on any tourist island.

    The highest point on any of the 1.200 islands was 4 meters I believe.

    Now, 40 year’s later and after the devastating effects of climate change the islands remain just above sea level and the highest point on any of them is 4 meters.

    • Very good point AC. If the Maldives are in the shit I’m fucked too as my residence is only 6m above sea level and the sea is over twenty miles away. Trying to find one of them amphicars so I’ll be able to take the dogs for a swim and visit the floating market.

  3. We are swamped daily by undesirables, so rising tides could be a bonus.
    Most don’t wash and none of them can swim.

    Anyway bacon boy millipede will save us with his eco plan for the country..
    Or bankrupt us so drowning will be a blessing in disguise..

    • Yes, I look forward to paying £10k a year for nonexistent wind power so millipede’s ‘friends’ can get rich. I wonder if he also has bridges to sell?

  4. If the wasteful bloated cunts were really troubled by their “Climate Emergency” the first thing they’d do it shut themselves down completely and stop wasting “precious resources” on their offices,cars,libraries and anything else that doesn’t run on steam.

    Then of course they’d be forced to get proper jobs so things will stay just as they are now..windbag cunts telling lies to try to get some nice “central government grants”.

    Bad Eggs.

    Oven.

    Good morning.

  5. Come to Bognor Regis for the holiday of a lifetime.
    Beaches
    The pier and promenade
    Parks
    Shopping
    And a new kiddies paddling pool kindly donated by Tesco plc.

  6. Knowing nothing about Bognor Regis I read the article and came to the conclusion that Emergency Measures are necessary to stop the rise of sea levels.

    The following should be implemented immediately:

    1. Mandatory vaccinations
    2. Forced quarantines
    3. Facemasks
    4. Social distancing

  7. Fuck the place and all the inhabitants who crawl over its surface like rats.

    It can sink beneath the waves lock stock and barrel and I wouldn’t give a cold dead rat’s ass.

    Spanky

  8. Crikey, what all this means for Seaton Carew, GT?

    Good morning, everyone.

    • Poor old Seaton Carew. It’s doomed I tell you, doomed.

      See AC’s comment at 7.20am to find out exactly what calamity will befall it.

  9. That should be ‘..what does all this mean..’ ffs. I am turning into a parquet!

  10. Although the Cuntcil has declared a Climutemergency and formed a talking shop, as you’d expect, I guarantee the square root of utterly fuck all will be done to achieve better sea defences within the next six years.

    Cunts.

  12. They seem to be Lib Dems so I am surprised they dont stand with Gaza and condemn Trump as well.

  13. A climate emergency to which the only solution is more tax and economic destruction. Is it Green, to invite millions in to occupy what little is left?
    The loons who run countries need an education. But there again, one needs to have a brain first. We are lost Gentlemen , fucking lost!

  14. The only threat the sea has for us at the moment is the hundreds of dinghy riders

  15. Along the entire coast of Spain the beaches are packed.
    There must be millions of people in the sea in my country alone.

    When you think of the dozens of countries that share The Mediterranean Sea then during the day there will be tens of millions of people cooling off in the water.

    Then there is the huge summer increase of all types of pleasure boats and ocean liners.

    Then you have to remember Archimedes’ principle.

    You would think that the sea would be lapping up to the bars and houses that line the shore.

    But it isn’t.

    All that water displacement adds up to absolutely fuck all.
    And that’s in a relatively small non tidal sea.

    Fuck knows how much water displacement Bognor would need in the Atlantic Ocean for the level to rise 1mm.

    My guess is that the residents of that delightful town are safe.

  16. Council Climate Emergency Agenda

    1. Write to China, India and other high CO2 emitters to ask them to shut down all coal fired power stations with immediate effect.

    2. Pray.

    3. A nice day out on the beach.

    Close.

  17. expect to pay more council taxes in Bognor in the name of saving the planet. Bring back the councils of old and do away with these modern go getting dynamic self important internationally focused hot air and shit generators.

  19. I went to the Butlins there once, with the kids. Fucking awful – best thing that could happen is that it disappears into the sea.

  20. Martha’s Vineyard in the U.S also faces rising sea levels and according to experts will disappear like Bognor Regis, Barrack Obama was so worried he brought a $15m beachside home on the island.

    These climate clowns make it up as they go along.

  21. Bognor always reminds me of Steptoe & Son.
    The old man always wanted to go to Bognor. While Harold always wanted to go to somewhere abroad to pull birds.

  24. I read the link; another could scenario.

    Thought we are sick to the back teeth of coulds.

    • and when the could also mentions the magic year of 2030 then you know it is bs based on a ‘model’, er erm.

  25. If you want people to come on holiday to you, don’t start your name with Bog. My gran told me that or something.

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