Dan Pena

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A Fifty-billion-to-trillion dollar cunting for Triple-A Alpha Male and Guthrie Castle’s resident nutter, Dan Pena

Dan dresses like a rail tycoon from a century ago and resembles the Monopoly man on crack. His various appearances on top Dudebro YouTube channels such as Logan Paul and Joe Rogan have drawn a great deal of skepticism regarding his real fortune and he claims to have started out in oil and now runs a leadership course for ‘winners’ from his castle in Angus, Scotland, for around $20,000 for 7 days, called QLA (Quantum Leap Advantage… oh boy!) where business owners and entrepeneurs mugs and suckers can rediscover their balls.

Dan makes a series of claims, such as the pressure of men’s handshakes in 2016 being 20lbs lower than it used to in 1986.
His testosterone count is 3 times higher than what is considered high for a man in his twenties (Pena is in his late seventies).
Pena claims to have killed a bear with a knife, stabbing it dozens of times around the head and neck.

On his course, Dan will shout at you, and call you a cunt, a pussy and a snowflake. He says he has no friends because he just doesn’t have time.

Dan works over 100 hours a week and did not have a day off in 26 years.

I thought Andrew Tate blurred the line into parody over the ‘high-value man’ bollocks, but Pena takes that line, wraps it around Tate’s vascular neck and pulls hard, while spitting invective into Tate’s ear, calling him a ‘fucking pussy’.

If Dan Pena didn’t exist, Chris Morris would have to invent him.

Youtube

Nominated by Cuntamus Prime.

52 thoughts on “Dan Pena”

  1. Isn’t that Logan Roy from succession?

    Looks like a brain aneurysm waiting to happen.

  2. Fuck me I’d never heard of this Buster Bloodvessel type fellow..

    After watching that I want him as Prime Minister.

  3. This 2nd rate colonel Sanders called me a cunt to.my face I’d put the yank cunt through a wall.

    Like most yanks Dan Peanut is a bullshitting cunt.

  4. 🚬 WOOF !!! 💥
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    ┃┈┈┈┣▅╋▅┫┃
    ┃┈┃┈╰━╰━━━━━━╮
    ╰┳╯┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈◢▉◣
    ╲┃┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈▉▉▉
    ╲┃┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈◥▉◤
    ╲┃┈┈┈┈╭━┳━━━━╯
    ╲┣━━━━━━┫

    • Does that say his testosterone levels?
      More like cholesterol.

      And stabbing a bear to death?!
      A koala bear?
      Gummi bear?

      Nobody in the history of the world has tangled with a bear without some very visual scarring,
      Bears can break a mooses neck with one swipe.

      Absolute bullshitting cunt.

  6. Sounds like a solid kind of bloke. What’s up with men these days? Crying into their oat milk latte’s because someone said a nasty thing to them?

    Works 100 hours a week? That’s called a work ethic isn’t it?

    Calls everyone a cunt? Hello, he’s one of us!

    If the pussy boys want to pay him 20k to learn how to be a man it’s their business.

    And yeah many men seem to have handshakes like a three day old lettuce leaf these days. Used to be that real men used to try and crush the bones in your hand to impress their dominance upon you!

    20k tho? MNC could lead the ISAC manliness courses, unkle terry could deal with the failures.

  7. He sounds a bit like Vince McMahon. Another cunt who sorely needs a cunting after recent (alleged) events.

    • ‘Oh mah Gahd! it’s… KANE!’

      It’s the nearest thing Americans have to panto.

      • I do find it entertaining on a casual level but it’s hardly a surprise that all this is coming out. There have been rumours about him for decades.

      • He’s a known womaniser who has been sued/investigated for alleged sexual assaults before Mis. The way he treated women in storylines before WWE went PG (and during the 90s especially) was also extremely degrading and raised questions about just how real the scenarios being portrayed were. See also the ring boys scandal – I won’t go into details here but McMahon’s right hand man played a key role in it.

      • Yeah I had a lot of mates who seemed to enjoy it. back when I was at college

        Inviited to watch Wrrestlemania. I didn’t understand what was going on.A lot more theatre to it. I sort of remember Andre the Giant and The ultimate Warrior from childhood but the ones from the early noughties are the ones most people seem to know.

        I think the Heavyweight boxing division and MMA Iis full of pantomime as well..

  8. If this loud mouth racist two sex only yank can sort out this country back to the way it was, I’d have him in a shot. Then tell him to fuck off once he’s done by teatime. If anyone threatens to fuck this country up again, I’d only need to mention his name to frighten anyone to death.

  9. A boring braggard using volume to make his points, fail. Yeah, you got money, so do arms dealers, drug dealers, pimps and sex traffickers, well done, help yourself to a lollipop on the way out you lying cunt.

  10. Can I have a lollipop on the way out too please?
    Not bothered about which flavour unless there’s one the same as parma violets cos I don’t want that fucker!

  12. Bit of a noisy cunt isn’t he?
    Surprised he’s not had a heart attack!

    He needs to relax a bit.

    Take time to listen to the dickybirds tweeting in the morning.
    Go for a country walk in the hills
    Feed the ducks.
    Go fishing.

    Shouting like that all the time,
    It’s not good for you.

    Get a colouring book 😂

    • Did you not hear him, Mis’?

      Relaxing, chilling and hangin’ are for pussies! He ain’t got the time or friends to do any of that.

      Having friends is for losers, just as shagging women is for poofs.

      Grrrr!

      He’s got nothing on Colin Bryce though. Colin Bryce makes Mike Tyson look like RuPaul.

  14. He sounds batshit but imagine him replacing Alan Sugar Tits on The Apprentice? He would have them all crying in a corner in about five minutes, including that po-faced Brady bitch.

  16. I say make him Director General of the beeb..

    The first staff meeting could be broadcast to the nation..
    As he killed a bear with his hands, snapping Gary Lineker chicken neck would be a breeze.

    • Marriage?
      Marriage is for pussies.
      He practices sword swallowing 12 inch hot dogs with his black assistant Tyrone.

    • So far in the closet he has a passport issued in Narnia.

      Go find a nice bit of bum old man and calm the fuck down.

  19. Good very late afternoon everyone. I’m travelling so I just dropped in.

    Don’t know this cunt, but he does indeed sound like a cunt.

  20. Likes shouting Cunt at people. Any other redeeming features? I couldn’t be arsed to watch too much.
    Could be useful to hire.

    • To be honest, you don’t really need to watch it all.

      I find Relentlessly angry people hilarious.

  21. Dan wears a red handkerchief. Should be in his back pocket – apparently a red handkerchief is a gay code for someone who likes a bit of fisting.

    Dan Penis – a shouty man with a red handkerchief, which signifies a man who likes fisting. He certainly is trying hard to tell us but we can’t hear him above his shouting.

  22. 20,000 for a week of this little spunk bubble screaming and shouting at you and calling you a pussy?

    A fool and his money….

    This motivational speaking thing is big in the US and caught on here to some degree.

    I’d keep my money in my wallet and motivate myself.

    I doubt Dan Peanut can do much for me.

    Although I’d like to attend one of his seminars just for a laugh!

    See if I could trigger him into a seizure 😁

  24. Dan Pena. Never heard of it, I can’t be bothered to read about it so will assume it’s a cunt. I am continually amazed by fellow Cunters abilities in finding such deserving noms.

    Everyday is truly a school day on ISAC.

    It should be part of the national curriculum.

  25. What a noisy fellow !

    Be quiet sir.

    You’ll upset the lads.

    There’s a good gentleman.

  26. Fook me.

    It’s like an episode of Southpark. 😀

    Good morning 🌄👍

    (Bloody hell, you’re up early! Shit the bed? – Day Admin)

  27. Good morning DA 👍

    Been up since Cock Crow🐔 around 5.45.

    Out with The Hound.

    Birds singing, it’s looking like a good day in the offing.

    Marvelous 😀

  28. Another loud over inflated cunt guaranteed to empty a room faster than a Diane Abbott curry induced fart.

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