I’m sure you’ve seen the TV ads of a product that’s been around for ages, but now is even more wonderful thanks to “our new improved formula!” It could be for mundane household items such as washing up liquid, a carpet cleaner, a shampoo or even tea/coffee.
If you fall for this bollocks you’ll quickly realise the product returns the same results as before, but you’ll be paying a bit more for the privilege.
The perfect example of this tawdry form of advertising was for those Gillette razors back in the 90s – it started off with just 2 blades for a “close, long lasting shave”, and then some bright spark in their marketing department thought “hey, let’s add a 3rd blade!” And so they did and out came the advert for their new improved razor!
A couple of years later they added a fourth; and now it has five! Why not just go the whole hog and have 10 blades and save everyone the bother!
Don’t be conned by these new improved products – they’re just trying to sell you the same thing at a higher price for something that worked perfectly well in the past.
Nominated by Technocunt.
Thank fuck I don’t watch television,so they can stick their improved wares up their arses.
Thank you for the warning however.
It pays to be on guard at all times.
11
As long as you maintain a well honed internal crap-detector you can’t go far wrong.
10
Until you need the all new, improved crap-detector.
15
Gillette can go fuck themselves..
Calling all men toxic..
I should go round the chief executives house and kick his wife in the cunt.
And bully his children.
Who you calling toxic.
22
Don’t forget the equality of the sexes Barry. Kick the chief executive in the bollocks six times. The cunt.
7
And while you at it Barry go kick that annoying chavvy cunt Dani Dyer in the cunt so hard it renders it unable to speak ever again – that fucking advert- I’ve broken 3 radios by chucking them off the scaffolding already this week
0
….or they are actually admitting the product they have been selling previously was crap
14
Spot on.
All these sort of adverts are either:
“Despite what we said in our old adverts, our old product was crap… but you can definitely believe us this time, honest’ or
“We’ve found a way of making our product more cheaply; it’s new and improved for the benefit of our profit margin”
9
Yes.
What were we using before? “Old and lousy”?
0
Remove adverts at all costs. Do remember the razor blade one at the time and thought how stupid people could be once they’d only added a second blade.
5
The F word being another annoying Americanism.
2
http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3101/2088/1600/mach14-775759.jpg
5
New Improved Government.
Wouldn’t be difficult would it?
5
Until you look at the choices.
Current cunts.
Same as the current Cunts but of a pinkish hue.
The LibDems as above but pretend they’re different.
Green commie cunts.
Independent cunts, really only useful to make a statement about the other cunts.
Scotland and wales have their nationalist Cunts who are desperate to get power so they can ruin their own countries.
Northern Ireland cunts. Where do you start with the projectile vomit that passes for politics over there?
Government is by its very nature an organisation where Cunts get together and make things worse for everyone except themselves.
9
This is a definite improvement on conventional cleaning products …
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGn0CPWhcq8
9
I’m looking forward to trying out Derek’s septic tank missile launcher.
2
Gillette. They have to make more money from us because they’re not making it from all the new generation of hairy women. (I must admit to liking a nice dense luxurious bush). The Gillette two blade works perfectly well. Stop labelling it with ‘sport’ and ‘turbo’ – gormless cunts.
13
Ah… a lush, dark silky bush is paradise.
Needs to be very well maintained around the bikini line tho.
5
I did see a new improved bus service pass through town yesterday. Three modern double deckers full of swarthy types and their baggage heading god knows where as the destination was left blank.
I’m wondering if one of the local holiday parks just got a mass booking for winter.
Happy happy joy joy!
10
The gormless have to be led by the nose. I have a chrome Edwin Jagger razor which takes Japanese Feather safety blades. Shaves better than any disposable and at a fraction of the ongoing costs.
The razor itself is the largest outlay – around £30 but they are beautifully made and will last years. Mine still looks mint after 11 years of use.
8
I have one on those, and the Edwin Jagger brush. It will easily see me out. Feather blades are superb.
3
I’ve had one for 5 years and I’ve yet to use it, just using up my multiblade stuff, seem to have fucking loads from somewhere. Down to the last 2 now.
4
Thank you Mr M. The feather blades are first class, unlike the shit we turn out now.
2
Persil washing powder.
60 years ago they advertised it as cleaning “whiter than white”
And every year since, they claimed to have improved it.
It should be fucking incandescent now.
Lying cunts.
13
“Lasts up to 2 times longer”.
1. “Up to” so it almost certainly doesn’t.
2. 2 times longer than what?
3. What the fuck happened to “twice as long”?
6
2 times longer is equivalent to 3x as long.
6
Twice !
1
Sorry, I jumped in after you. Used to laugh years ago when stupid blacks and other foreigners were coming out with, “me do dat 2 time.”
3
New improved means now lacking taste.
No salt
No sugar
All the tasty additives that made you giddy taken out,
Bland.
New improved?
Like fuck.
11
Years ago, if a company wanted to market a new product like washing up liquid, they used to do a promo using trial samples, diddy bottles that were so handy for self catering holidays.
At the least, you’d get some lass handing out a single use sachet with a money off coupon to use with a purchase of the full sized product.
The words “new” or “improved” fill me with dread. I just know I’m going to spend days feeling like I’m being eaten alive by fire ants until my skin either gets used to it, or I find an alternative that doesn’t bring me out in an itchy rash.
The one I truly dread, however, is “new concentrated formula” I might just as well coat myself in Nitromors as use it.
10
I worked for a chemical company.
The product they bottled for a leading auto accessories company as alloy wheel cleaner, was just the concentrated washing up liquid they produced for another company.
Four times the price too, the thieving cunts.
5
New improved Coke. That went well didn’t it, before being scrapped after a few months.
New improved Irn Bru…? Tastes bloody disgusting.
Sugary hangover cures should be left alone, cunts!
6
Everything is new and improved.
So is my wife, apparently…
5
The Gillette twin-blade, disposable razor was the first item that I ever bought on the strength of teevee advertising alone.
It was also the last, but it did do ‘what it says on the tin’.
A rarity these days.
3
I once tried an expensive gillette razor as it was on an offer, did a great job of ripping out stubble instead of shaving it, straight in the bin.
Out of interest, how much did their toxic male crusade cost the company and what happened to those in charge?
maaaaaaate! Dickheads.
5
And you can bet that those men that actually are toxic didn’t buy their fucking stuff either.
3
I don’t buy their over priced crap either.
I don’t believe the fucking hype for one, and secondly I’m of the opinion that anyone who will pay over the odds for tiny slivers of metal embedded in cheap chinese plastic, advertised by questionable “men” (who probably buy Tena Men and pansy skin care cream) is a thick narcissistic gullible cunt.
3
New and improved Munchy Box. Now with 50% more grease!
5
‘much better than ORDINARY Munchy Boxes’.
3
Fuck Gillette, I’ll stick to double edge razor. Blades cost tuppence and don’t ruine your face. Fucking soy boy razors for woke types, with pubes for facial hair.
2
Something can either be new, as in there was nothing like it before or it can be improved, meaning there was something just like it before.
It can’t be both new and improved.
Advertising bullshit.
3
Buzz words, isn’t it?
New.. so it’s something special
Improved… even better than before.
Another one I detest “limited edition”
Of washing up liquid, toilet cleaner or room spray. Really?
“Sparkling loo, Jessica!”
“Yes, Deidrie, it’s the Limited Edition Domestos!”
With the implication that the purchaser is somehow a cut above.
No, it’s because people have limited intelligence, and don’t ad agencies know it.
4
Anyone seen or heard those Surf detergent ads with Dani Dyer?
For a start, the daft tart says ‘I’m Dani Dyer’. Is this because nobody will know who she is?
Then it’s the worst read off a card shite about ‘island pools’ and ‘sun kissed beaches’, and she sounds like a six year old struggling with a Ladybird Book.
It ends with Dyer squeaking ‘Everyfin’s perf wiv Serf.’
Perf?! Illiterate skank.🤣
3