André Rieu

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André Rieu is a cunt. With his face looking as if he’s permanently being
given a blowjob from Christine Lagarde (EU Political Cunt).

He belts out The Blue Danube, Ave Maria and Bolero for a bunch of feeble
minded women, OAPs, dementia sufferers and their carers. There isn’t a
dry seat in the house when he’s finished.

He also uses stooge dancers to go among the crowd, enticing them to dance
as if he’s some sort of magician. If Vlad is watching it he must think
the EU is still in the 1800s with opera every night. The cunt.

https://www.andrerieu.com/en (Link courtesy of Geordie Twatt)

Nominated by : Anton Pillar

62 thoughts on “André Rieu”

    • Andrea is probably Belgian or something boring?

      I was in that crowd I’d keep shouting out a request for
      Freebird!

  2. Can’t get on board with this cunting, I’m afraid…the man may be a smug fucker, but the music he play is timeless, beautiful and classy, unlike the utter pigswill that modern popular music has become.
    Classical music will always be appreciated by those of us with a soul that is stirred by such grace and artistry.

    • Get to fuck Thomas!!

      That shrivelled black little thing in your heart hardly classifies as a soul.

      Just because you listen to a bit of classical FM while making some drugged up poor girl place the lotion in the basket doesn’t make you a fuckin renaissance man!

      And stop looking at Pavarotti porn 😁

      • I prefer to call him Pervėrotti…the big, sexy fat beast.
        And I’ve got a soul.
        I bought it on eBay six years ago.
        Only £9.99, bargain.
        Got it from one P. Sutcliffe, Broadmoor Hosp. Reading.

    • Fuck me Mr engine. Whilst I agree with you I do miss you usually talk involving disgusting 🤮 sexual practices and references to deviant videos.

      • Well said, Mr Cunt Engine! Can’t agree with the cunting either.

        This bonkers Svengali type gets the crowds up and certainly seems to give vfm. His concerts go on for fucking ages and are full of swaying and toe-tapping. Give me the Rieu cunt any day over the trans mongs that ‘entertain’ the yoof.

        Mrs Twenty loves this guy’s shit while I can appreciate the over the top production values and the way maestro ladles the schmaltz. Long may it continue!

        Good morning, everyone.

    • Only the Vienna Phil for Strauss Family stuff. Conducted by Clemens Krauss, Willi Boskovsky, or Karl Bohm (aka Bum).

  3. So he just plays Johann Strauss’s music.
    He is a classical one direction then..

    The audience is bound to be full of eu flag waving cunts.. isn’t the eu marvellous..

    Then come out to find their cars and houses have been broken into by the fantastic new arrivals they profess to love.

    Looks like mick Hucknalls half brother.

  4. André is Dutch I think.
    But that’s no excuse.

    I was idly flicking through the programme guide in Casa Cunter when I saw “André Rieu in Paris” listed.

    I like a good travel programme so I gave it a go.

    Seeing this cunt I actually thought that it was a piss take.
    A bit like Animal from The Muppets playing the drums.

    He plays his fiddle with a look on his face as if he is straining to have an enormous shit.

    If you read his publicity bumf, which I am sure that he writes himself, you will see that he is “The World’s Greatest Showman” who alternates between having his audience crying with joy and dancing in the aisles.

    Yes of course André…… Now off you fuck.

  5. I suspect Satan Blair is secretly in love with André.
    I was never taken in by all that Cool Britannia crap when he pretended to be sucking Noel’s knob. Load of bollocks.
    ALL HAIL THE EU, eh Tone?

    • Noel Gallagher is actually a marionette puppet and doesn’t have any genitalia which makes receiving a blowjob nigh on impossible.
      Even from an evil sorcerer bastard like Anton B-liar.

      Little known fact.

      Morning Geordie/All

  6. If someone said to me

    “Hello ducky, do you like classical music?”

    I’d ask if they were taking the piss.

    BUT. I do.
    We all do.
    Without realising it is classical music.

    Hall of the mountain king
    Danse macabre
    Swan lake
    An my favourite
    Adagio from Spartacus

    It’s great!
    But I refuse to admit it

  7. I’m afraid the only knowledge I have of this gentleman comes from those TV ads from October onwards, when companies called
    “Now That’s What I Call Shite! ”
    promote compliation offerings, usually titled “The Best Of…”.
    This is in the vague hope that someone in a panic, because they forgot Great Aunt Elsie, will buy one in desperation.
    Wait until Boxing Day, you’ll get them for peanuts from the remaindered bin in The Works.

    • Beethoven NEARLY. didn’t write that load of old shit. He was close to doing an orchestra-only finale.
      If only… The eu would’ve had to fall back on the Horst Wessel lied.

  11. According to the publicity, produced by Andre Rieu Productions (of course), he was recognised as a child prodigy at the age of six.

    He is 67 year’s old.

    His first public performance was in 1987, when he would have been 31 year’s old.

    Something doesn’t add up here.

    Fraudulent cunt.

  12. Andre looks like he’s about to let out a silent but violent. If you know what I mean 😄

    I preferred Vanessa Mae. Fancied her back when I was a teenager. I would have liked her to show me her G-string

    • Wouldn’t expect anything different from a insecure racist cunt like khan.

      It’s just a shame he’s dad wasn’t like most pàkì bus drivers and drove over a cliff.

    • Just when you think you couldn’t possibly dislike this devious racist Islamist midget any more than you do already.

      A 72 year old virgin awaits him in the afterlife.

    • Well he’s committed a criminal offence but nothing will be done of course.

      He only shows honkies if they’re doing something bad. Need an actor to portray a sex pest on a train? Get a honky in. Need one to make ‘sexist’ comments? Get a honky in.

      The man is a fucking evil, anti white bastard.

      This is exactly what Enoch meant by ‘the whip hand’.

      I hope to see justice prevail one day for all those involved in the humiliation of the indigenous people of these isles.

      • Morning CB

        If anybody still thinks such talk is purely “conspiratorial” then you could argue that they are part of the problem.

        Left wing cunts are just basic traitors who need shooting.

        So called “centrist” types who sneer at “conspiracy theories” are just as big a cunt.

        “Open your fucking eyes you wilfully blind ignorant cunt” would be my advice.

        Failing that then “fuck off!”

        We’re not talking about UFOs or lizard people here. We’re talking about something very fucking real.

  15. The only classical music one should listen to is Wagner, whilst contemplating World domination.

    • Also, try Berlioz’ Requiem, with Bernstein conducting. Parts of it sound/feel like you’re sitting atop a railway tunnel with an express hurtling through. Berlioz Te Deum also good, especially Beecham’s one.

  17. Seeing as I have zero gravitas, I know very little about classical music and absolutely fuck all about this fella.
    The only opinion I have classical music wise, is that I don’t like the Proms. But that’s only on the basis that the BBC absolutely adore it. Which must mean there’s something sinister going on.

  20. He’s one of those pretend musicians who never quite made it into serious music, who were shunned by the experts and should’ve shot himself along with lots of other and decided to jump on the money making racket instead. Believe Liberace the iron hoof was one of them.

    • He’s also one of those cunts who would try and serenade you in yankie shite films, whilst you’re trying to eat and think of which ways you would like to kill the cunt.

  21. Apparently it costs an obscene amount of money to see this buffoon live.
    It’s just muzak for high rollers and yuppie twats. Little more than a modern James Last or Richard Clayderman really.🙄

  22. I doubt Vladof Putler gives a fuck if European poofters are giving blowjobs while classical music is playing because I imagine Vlad is getting blowjobs from ballet dancers whether there’s music playing or not.

    I love me some classical music so I’m not entirely sure what would possibly compel me to give a like to this cunting nomination.

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