Two nil down with three to go, so the Ashes are almost certainly already lost.
Now I’d be the first to admit that England have brought this on themselves. These two matches could and should have been won. But thanks to Stokes’s boneheaded declaration on day 1 at Edgbaston followed by half a dozen dropped catches, then at Lords we had village green slapstick comedy batting on day 2 and pedestrian bowling conceding over 70 extras, ffs.
But what sticks in the craw is the dismissal of Bairstow. Clearly he thought the ball was dead as the umpire at the bowler’s end was looking down. So why didn’t Cummins the captain gracefully withdraw the appeal and show some class? BECAUSE HE HASN’T GOT ANY CLASS, HE’S A CUNT, that’s why.
On reflection, only to be expected from a bunch of cheating convicts I suppose.
Got any sandpaper handy for Headingley, cobber?
Nominated by Geordie Twatt.
Addendum from Cuntybollocks and Lord Helpus on this touchy topic below.
I’d like to second this nomination, if I may?
What also pissed me off was the likes of Atherton and a few other ex England players sticking up for the Aussie cheats. Do these idiots think the likes of Ricky Ponting would do the same if it had happened to the Aussies?
Like fuck he would. And he’d be right not to.
Well if, as these pricks say ‘It was within the laws of the game ‘ then I fully expect them not to moan if we do the same to the Aussies next game?
Every time a player walks down the wicket at the end of an over (which is what happened with Barstow) we should stump the cunts.
I want us going full cheat mode next game. Players on steroids hitting the ball into the Thames. Poisoning the Aussie players food to give them the shits the night before the test. Use deepfake technology to show our players gangbanging the Aussie players wives and mothers then put the videos on xhamster. Or even better, Steve Smith banging Pat Cummins’s missus. See, I’ve got this sorted.
I want us ball tampering and all (they can ask Atherton how to get away with this)
If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.
Fuck these cheating convict cunts.
We all know the aussies will do anything to win – fair or foul. Why is anyone surprised at their atrocious antics and lack of sportsmanship?
But I agree with GT: declaring on the ist innings of the 1st test was arrogant stupidity.
Stokes is a fine buccaneering batsman in the style of Botham but as with the latter he isn’t a great captain. Mike Brearley knew one had to apply brains as well as brawn to win a test series against the best opponents.
You can’t go gung ho in every situation.
We should be 1-1 not 0-2 down.
The antics of Nic White, the Aussie scrum half show that this isnt confined to cricket. He was poleaxed without being touched and the fucking ref let him get away with it.
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Don’t really follow Cricket as it’s too racist (joke!). However, I would shove a stump down Cummins jap-eye.
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‘Australian sportsmanship ‘- an oxymoron.
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I was unable to make a full assessment of this woeful and decidedly “not cricket” episode due to being quite unable to put up with wimmins shrieking “commentary”.
I did quite enjoy Stuart Broad ‘s response at the crease.
The Aussies have always fielded a fine team but delight in playing Cunts Tricks a bit too often.
I hope Bairstow clubs the wicket keeper into next week.
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aussie v to gain an unfair advantage; to gain a hollow victory; to debase oneself; to cheat.
n one who cheats; a malefactor.
see also: carey, cummins
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Here’s another fine example of Aussie sportsmanship from Justin Langer; the ludicrous bail flick incident against Sri Lanka.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=afQvCaPd4t8
Cunts.
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Purely accidental Ron.
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Aye. Ponting genuinely thought they’d bowled the cunt next ball.
They definitely weren’t trying to cheat.
And I’m Fred Trueman’s rotting corpse.
(Yes, I think I know your comment was sarcasm etc 🙂
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Langer clearly, intentionally, flicked off the bail, then claimed he knew nothing about it.
And he got away with it.
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Richie Benaud would have been well pissed off at Langer for that little cunts trick. Call themselves the best, well the best don’t have to resort to antics like that to win matches.
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Dirty cunts
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With apologies to Shackledragger, our resident kangaroo shagger.
He’s a good egg and I like his posts, even though his grandad robbed my grandad’s house.
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I’m only sorry he got caught, he shouldn’t have drank so much before trying to abscond with his swag.
I’m shat off though with our PM’S whining about this to detract public attention, if only briefly from their cuntfoolery.
I predict a 5 nil trouncing.🤪
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BTW kangaroos are rather hard to “tie down” and koalas have very long and sharp claws. Wombats are much more accommodating.
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I can’t disagree with the่ 5-0. We can’t rely on Stokes going into beast mode. He did it this test and it still wasn’t enough. Done knuckle headed cricket taking on bouncers. Broad trying to reverse sweep. Who does he think he is, the silly twat? Although I enjoyed his antics the other day.
Our tail is fucking shit too, unlike yours and Moeen Ali is crap but nobody dare say anything (it’s racist). Takes a wicket every 50 and out for 8 or 9 nowadays. And he even whines his finger is sore and forces a 40 year old to keep bowling. Once we lose Stokes/Bairstow you’re into a long and very shit tail. Your tail can wag.
Ali’s back for the next test though. The Aussies will be quaking at facing this ‘all rounder’. Well at least for the first session or two on day one until ‘Ooh my finger hurts.’
Puff.
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Without taking sides. What used to be done when the ball was dead, the batsman would place the bat in the crease for a few seconds to let the opposition know he’s going to leave it, possibly to chat with his colleague, or do the cricketing gardening.
I’m still waiting for the Aussies to thank us for sending them to a lovely warm climate instead of hanging then for be naughty.
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Obviously I meant being.
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To think I used to proofread. Must’ve let some shit through in my time.
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I note that your proofreading is in the past tense Sammy.
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Just looked at the video again. Bairstow very careless. It was seconds after the ball went behind him that he was out of his crease. The Australian wicketkeeper half heartedly threw the ball at the wicket. So he wasn’t in a sense trying to ‘stump’ him.. It just happened to hit. Verdict;
Dunno.
Is it up to the Australian captain (as people say) to withdraw the ‘shout’. I mean the appeal.
Were the umpires in the wrong for not taking charge?
Verdict again; accidental dismissal. Which like when a batsman hits his own wicket.
Cut to the chase-it was Bairstow’s fault so he was out.
He should have known better being a wicketkeeper himself.
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Precisely.
Whinging fucking poms.
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And yet you’re whinging about whinging.
My Nan wants her telly back.
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This slackness in keeping in the crease comes from playing too much 20/20 or one day cricket.
Where they bowl and straight onto the next one.
Say what if the Australian wicketkeeper fumbled the ball and it went off down towards the boundary. And Bairstow seeing it had run at that point. He probably would have. Would that have been against the ‘spirit of the game’?
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Of course, because if the keeper fumbles and it goes to the boundary he’s not in control of the ball.
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If teams started doing this, half of the wickets would be taken this way for a day or two around the world. Then they’d cotton on and wait in their creases until the umpire said ‘over!’ and the captains of both teams agreed verbally to in front of the umpires that they’d heard it. After every ball.
The game would take 5 weeks, not five days. A lot is done on ‘trust’ here. Ball goes to keeper. Batsman ‘taps in’ and goes to chat, change ends or ‘garden’ and every cunt accepts the ball is ‘over’.
Even if the stumping was just a quick ‘reactionary throw’, they shouldn’t have appealed for the wicket.
England have done the same (keeper throwing the ball quickly after the batsman ‘taps in’ after the keeper has it). However, as far as I’m aware, we didn’t laugh our arses off and claim the wicket like a bunch of twats.
Out of order, I thought.
Would like revenge but the Aussies are simply too good for us.
I’d just tell Stokes to kick fuck out of them, just give us something to cheer you ginger cunt.
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Precisely.
Whinging fucking poms.
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History only remembers the winners. Suck it up bitches.
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The cheating convicts are almost as bad as Captain Sir Tom Moore’s daughter and her husband who are dirty, lying, cheating filth, vermin. Making money of your dead pops is a sick fucking joke.
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This particular story is unfolding very nicely.
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Agreed.Razor wire and a lamppost.
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Although when it comes to ‘underhand tactics’, the Aussies are fucking amateurs compared to the P a kis.
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Remember Mike Gatting getting very angry with a bent Pakistani umpire? For decades we’d had umpires from the home country but the cheating porky umpires led to the introduction of neutral umpires.
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Remember it well Guzzi.
I thought there was going to be a lard off.
Getting was spot on though, the cheating cunt.
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Can’t comment on this one .
I find all sport mind numbingly boring except for a high profile boxing fight
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Yawnnnnnn…..!!!!!
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Wankers.Immediate oven.
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Of course the Rooshaggers cheated…..they’re fucking foreigners aren’t they? All fucking foreigners cheat against us because we’re the best and don’t you ever forget it. Every sport played around the world was invented by us. We fucking conquered and civilised the whole world. As a reward they told us to fuck off home. So we did. And what did the fucking foreigners do? They fucking followed us home so they can p*nce off us. You must expect them to cheat, steal and scrounge off us. Our mistake is thinking they have the same standards as us. They don’t. They are CUNTS!
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Imo it was a shabby move by the Aussies, but the fact remains that the dismissal was lawful. Given the confusing on-field circumstances in the moment the Aussie captain could have withdrawn the appeal but chose not to, and Bairstow was out. The regulations override any notion of ‘the spirit of the game’.
Unfortunately the reaction in England (esp. in the members’ pavilion) has given the Aussies justification (if they ever need any) to start their usual ‘whinging Poms’ rhetoric. I suspect that in this instance, it’s a smokescreen to cover a bit of a cringe on their part.
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And what’s with that Scott Boland. He’s an abo, apparently.
Looks fuck all like one to me. Just an ugly cunt with a funny shaped head.
Are the Aussies being racist and assuming that all ugly cunts must be abos?
They cheer everything he does in a proper patronising way and all, like he’s a clever little monkey riding a bicycle, when in reality, he’s just walked onto the pitch or summat.
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When the graceless cunts were caught cheating a few years ago, it was hugely enjoyable watching these grown men blubbing like toddlers as they apologised, (after being caught). Who knows how many games were tinkered about with and took bribes to throw? Yet Smith, the twitching, humourless turd and Warner the bilious cunt, are allowed to continue playing? Don’t tell me loads more weren’t involved.
Typical Convict behaviour from the Irish down under. No wonder they were deported for raping chickens.
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True.
The bowlers know more about the condition of the ball on the field of play than anyone else on the planet, but claimed to be oblivious to the fact that it had been sandpapered.
Pull the other fucking one.
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Ron, everyone’s supposed to forget about it as if a few months’ ban will suffice. If you’re caught cheating in a financial job you go to prison, but these shysters are rewarded.
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True that.
If you put a grain of sand on the ball, Jimmy Anderson would spot it in a heartbeat. Blindfolded from 20 yards.
Joking aside, I bet you could blindfold him (or any too class bowler) and he could pick out the ball he’d been using for a few overs over some other balls of the same make.
7
Love that the diversity hire commentator has a fucking awful take too in the clip ” Bairstow turned off for a second ” shut up you bint he was hoping that the convicts were going to treat the ashes series with the respect it deserves and not be under-handed. What that Aussie cunt did is the equivalent of a player in football diving then rolling 10 times like a sniper shot them to get another player sent off. Though why do we expect anyone from the colonies to have etiquette and standards, aussies always will be cunts. Fuck modern sport, no sportsmanship anymore just millionaire cunts smothered in tattoo’s trying to fuck over another millionaire cunt covered in tatooo’s.
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Cuntful as it was, Bairstow was a dozy cunt for letting it happen. Spirit of Cricket is a wank as well – there is none. just call them a bunch of cunts and get on with it .Broad needs to lose that headband as well. He isnt singing for Debarge
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I hate aussie cricket,nothing but a bunch of overpaid cheating cunts. Hate Warner the most ,nothing but a wanker.
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Barstow was a bit dopy tbh. He didn’t even look round to see where the ball was after it had been bowled and the ball was still live He’s also got previous for using the same trick himself so no sympathy for the dozy git. All this could easily have been played down by Stokes, McCullum, Broad the petulant twat who is constantly in the umpires ear, by just saying we weren’t concentrating and the Aussies were more alert. Instead they try to take the moral high ground by saying they wouldn’t want to win that way!! It’s the Ashes!! You should be doing everything within the rules to win!!! And those cunts in the Long Room. Posh wankers
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What’s the Aussies most powerful weapon? Answer =sandpaper. The cunts should all be frisked and pockets checked when entering the field. Ater all they’ve already been found guilty. Also those Aussie cunts who run on with drinks and have just made a purchase at B&Q, check the fuckers!! We must be mindful that Aussies are decendants of the criminal scum we exported, it runs through the bloodline.
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