Okay cunters, it’s time I came clean. I am a member of an oppressed minority, ostracised, marginalised and demonised by society. I can barely muster the strength to admit that I am attracted to……women.
We men who would rather put it up a woman’s vagina than a man’s rectum have to run the gauntlet of disgust and shame at such sexual depravity. There are men like me trapped in marriages of convenience with other men. Men who’ve had their meat and two veg chopped off.
Men who feel obliged to wear mascara, lippy and a dress, and all just to abide by society’s norms.
But behold, we female-attracted persons have a champion at last. Men’s Health tells me we’re ‘Gynosexual’ or something.
There’s even a Gynosexual Pride flag, so we gynos can become fully-fledged members of the Alphabet Movement too. So all you other cunters attracted to ‘femme-presenting persons’, I say be brave, come out the closet and join me on the next Pride march. We only have our chains to lose.
Nominated by Geordie Twatt.
Read it twice still don’t get what the term means. Fuck it. Getting passed caring.
13
I’m with you, it’s just got so silly that I gave up reading the article.
I don’t think they even they know what they’re talking about anymore.
What letter of the alphabet should be used as the G is already taken? Maybe the asterisk.
10
Their flag is rubbish too.
5
The Gaul?
6
That’s because, to be inclusive, it’s a cunt talking a load of bollocks. Non-binary? You can identify as a fucking wardrobe for all I care but, like it or not, you’re almost 100% certainly a bloke or a woman. And why is there a nom pic of a KKK Teletubby?
3
I think we shoild canvass everyone. Male , you live. Female, you live. Anything else, Toast. There. Sorted.
4
MNC,
The gall of these fuckers.
1
Well, as I read it such cunts are attracted to femininity. That could mean you fancy Dylan Whatisface or Julian Clary. Nah, not for me. I’ll stick with Superstraight….that’s what I put on the Census so I’ll stick with that.
8
I prefer the term ‘normal’
6
Hits the nail on the head …
And while we’re at it, isn’t the opposite of Normal – Abnormal???
1
Gyno-what?
Men’s Health is a magazine for hypocondriacs,
I’d pay no notice.
It’s lucky I’m straight because woman throw
themselves at me.
No choice in the matter.
I’m like catnip to them.
Sort of a fertility symbol?
They rub my bald head when they want to get pregnant.
6
Wtf do they rub it with?
3
Chip fat.
7
Does it have scratchings in it?
4
Well done Geordie. It takes a brave man to come out and declare his gynosexuality. I’m proud of you. As we live in the age of the freak tranny and poofta, you will experience ostracisation and social infamy. Jobs and careers will be closed to you. You could even be prosecuted by the police.
But take heart. It could be worse – you could be white!
Anyway, no time to talk. I need to go and apply my boot polish and put my dress on.
10
You are Justin trudeau and I claim my jar of maple syrup.
6
The flag looks a bit fruity..
Pink for pussy
Brown for botty
Green for vomit inducing.
I will stick to the good old saint George’s cross.
9
It looks like a Liquorice Allsort.
5
i thought it was a former Soviet republic. Kuntbekistan or somewhere. Has nothing going on for hundreds of miles of dusty plain, then a space launch facility.
2
What a load of fucking nonsense. Seems like this silly whore is making this up. I haven’t a fucking rhubarb what this is all about.
I’m one of those terribly old-fashioned, quaint straight people. The media don’t seem to think we exist any more.
11
it’s because the people who work in media are no longer journalists and bever meet real people, just more of their own kind.
Everyone but them is a terrible, uneducated gammon, especially outside the M25.
4
Behave, I do. Just not for anything mainstream or related to society/politics.
In the line of what I do, thankfully it’s bereft of this bollocks, and if it does rear its head, you can guarantee that it’ll be ignored as it’s not of interest to 99.99% of our readers.
1
Thank fuck for that.
I’ve always wondered what was wrong with me.
5
Too liberal Tez, I’ve noticed that.
3
Not only am I hetero Ive only had carnal knowledge of white English wimmen
Ive never touched a foreigner
Or race mixed
Why, I’d sooner drop my pants at the zoo and force myself upon a resident there
Before rattling the bones of some finger wagging, fat arsed negress.
See what Men’s Health thinks about that.
11
You should’ve sampled the delights of dark meat, MNC.
25 years ago I shagged a Sri Lankan and Indian bird a few months apart and they were great.
The Sri Lankan bird was very dark and her fanny truly was like a Fry’s Turkish Delight and just as nice to eat.
Never done a black or a chink though.
Would quite fancy a fit Jap woman though.
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I’d rather not Thomas if you don’t mind?
My winky would refuse anyway.
I had some African girl in a bar in Amsterdam mithering me once.
My mates were all saying
” Get it rattled!!
Your well in there!”
I told her to fuck off.
Exactly that.
Fuck off.
I’m not David Attenborough.
Rolling about in the rainforest,
The filthy fucker.
Why, the very idea makes me puke.🤮
10
Ps
Thomas,
I think your advice is terrible frankly.
Imagine if I’d tubbed it?!!!
Years down the line a knock at the door and it’s some 7ft Pube haired Harvey price type?!
“Are you my daddy?”
Certainly not.
Fuck off.😆
6
Jap and Korean.
Havent had them but mates have.
Brazilian or Venezuelan/Colombian as well.
Top shaggers.
Me, ive only had Anglo-saxon, and celt phallo-vorous gynoids, as Men’s health might calll them.
4
Most Japanese women, at least according to Pornhub, are unshaven which is a bonus for the older gentleman.
4
i’ve met a few stunning mixed race girls. one was Swedish-Dominican. Fucking gorgeous, and a good laugh. Not up herself.
3
I did a black once Thomas , i can only describe it as like having sex with something down the evolutionary ladder. I felt a sense of shame after the deed.
I must say , she did suck me like a Dyson Hoover.👨🏿
5
Isn’t that what got you a life time ban from Chester zoo, flashing the meerkat’s.
4
Men’s Health Magazine?
Hmmm… I woud think there is a a touch of The Gayness about that. 🤔
8
I’m totally fucking lost these day’s, oh for the days when we used to go to the ” cats whiskers” and cop of with member of the opposite sex.
No confusion, no xyzabc groups, just a few pints and hopefully a shag….😁
9
Cats Whiskers, Streatham?
1
Oldham ..😬
1
Well, Sue White, i’m not looking for a fucking label or flag to identify me.
What a bunch of insecure cunts you sim your pamphlet at. Must be these ‘New Men’ who moan about ‘adulting’ ie going to work.
I Don’t find female-presentinng lrimates attractive either. It’s a bit loose a term.
Straight lets every cunt know where I stand.
Stop writing bollocks for a career before the publisher shuts down your mag over poor sales., you demented ‘gynocephalic’.bint.
3
*aim
2
The flag ought to be two stick figures, obviously male and female, the female being thoroughly shagged, bent over the oven making her man a bacon sandwich at the same time.
6
Or alternatively she’s giving him head while he watches football on the telly.
1
You are not white as well are you Geordie?
Oh dear.
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Sorry CC, my ethnicity is not open for discussion. There’s only so much shame one can withstand. Haven’t I been brave enough already?
4
Yes, not quite Schofield but up there.
3
There are a few snowflake softies where i work. A couple of days ago i mentioned Journalist Dawn Neesom. I just casually said that i would love to spank her red raw , turn her over and fuck her senseless.
These whining pansies were visibly upset about my masculine love talk.
It seems men have become pathetic tutti frutti’s
7
Hahaha, fucking benders.
I could give Dawn a slap on the arse as well, and she’s the sort who’d relish it. Same with Ruth Langsford.
The lads you work with are probably only into the girls you fund in Japanese cartoons.
3
*find
0
She looks proper dirty
3
I saw right through it. The tarts a yank. I’m sticking with plain old normal. This cheeky young twat will see sense when she grows up.
2
I like slim white attractive women (the real ones) tight little arse.
So that is SWAWTLA, add that one to the list 😂
PS,I have shagged a Korean girl, fucking lovely, slightly slitty, slightly olive skin but pretty close to the above 👍
1
Off topic No more Bunga Bunga for Berlusconi… did anyone hane him in dead🇮🇹pool?
0
Anyone got waxwork Burlusconi in the DP?
1
I’d love to see the funeral all packed with the Bunga Bunga ladies saying home many times they had his hard penis up their saggy backdoors, all asking for a piece of his estate.
0
I digress.
City and their filthy money can have the secondhand treble. I got my wish whilst laughing my bollocks off at the same time, when sheep shagging Leeds got their comeuppance and ended up where they belong. The club is alright, it’s the fans I have my grievance with. Nothing but evil scum.
0
Say it loud! straight and proud!
Morning all.
4
I support this nom. It’ll be a great day when things return to normal and we can admit that we’re straight without facing abuse. Besides that, I’ve never got used to these girly clothes and it’s so hard to find the right shade of lipstick.
0
Expert = Total cunt.
1