These cunts have spent the last 3 months digging up nearly every road in my village. Constant temporary traffic lights that take forever to fuckibg change. Quite often you will get through one set of lights, turn the corner and be confronted by another set that, that you have to wait another 10 minutes to change. Constant fucking noise of jackhammers and stilhl saws going at every hour of the day. I’ve had enough.
Then to top that off the cunts have spent the last 2 weeks sending round sales reps and posting shit junk mail through the door about how I can ‘supercharge my internet’. Fuck off, I’ve already got broadband and it’s adequate enough for what I want. If I want a new provider I’ll sort it out myself. Needless to say if I ever do change these two cunty companies are already off the list!
Not on
Nominated by LaughingGravy, link by Jeezum Priest.
Hello, is anybody there. Thought I’d let you know, my broadband arrives with a reply, long before I ask it anything.
4
Virgin are wankers and I’ve just kicked them in the cunt and fucked them off.
When you phone and eventually get through, most are useless Dakis that you can feel are nodding their head on the phone
“I am very sorry to hear this sir – you are speaking with William today but I am really a daki whose name is Rajapakidaki but I want you to believe I am English. Isn’t the weather nice in London day”
These uber cunts just tried to put my bill up to 85 notes a month and charge for a phone that I haven’t used for 15 years.
They’ve been kicked into touch and now my internet (which is faster and better and optic fibre) is 3 x the speed the 3 x less the price.
Richard Branson is also a useless spiv who needs a good slapping, fucking hate the cunt. Thinks he’s a cavalier with his goatee and long hair from days of the civil war.
I’d pike the cunt and hang him out to dry on London bridge.
16
Hopefully, by his kipper tie.
3
When said in a birmingham accent, it is usually wed by ‘milk and two sugars please
3
All over Britain there’s a TV show called “The Voice,” it’s about a singing competition, although the version shown in Birmingham is different, it’s about a clamping device attached to a bench….
8
I can go further back when it was five sugars, on “Jukebox Jury”.
3
They’ll rename it the “Brummie Voice”.
2
Should have hung for that Airline ad
7
Never heard of Truespeed but Virgin Media can fuck off, even if they offered for free. If they were the only broadband provider on the planet I’d do without. I had them for BB and TV a few years ago. The speed was all over the place and not a week went by when it wasn’t down. When you rang them they’d tell you it was your fault then ring later to say it was them after all. Yeah, I am so surprised. And I hated the TiVo box, heap of shit. Then when I wanted to cancel the cunts told me to ring on a Monday which was a bank holiday, the department was closed and they charged me for an extra month. I didn’t bother arguing, my mum had just died and it was worth the money to wash my hands of the bunch of crooked yank arseholes. But never again.
8
I’m with them and they are indeed cunts. Not being particularly tech savvy, what would the alternative be?
2
Books?
7
The thing around here last year was having a company erect telegraph poles carrying the latest fastest shiny Internet thing. They were allowed to plonk them anywhere and pin a note to them asking if you objected. My mate got the one outside his house moved. Bizarre.
5
We have the same with OpenReach. Dug up and left as a fucking eyesore. They have been at it for a year or more.
4
Off topic, but I’ve just watched Joe Biden on Talk TV nearly break his neck falling over again at a graduation ceremony.
Fucking hilarious.
10
“Hey, watch me do a jaunty jig. I’ll show them I’m not some old decrepit buggerr…wwoooah, Jill!”
The stupid old cunt looks like he’s blaming the floor too. Fucking pointing at it.
Joe mate, no cunt has invented a floor that stops silly old cunts from falling if they try movements too fast for them.
What next, blame the curtains when he can’t do breakdancing without breaking every bone in his entire body?
Silly old cunt.
Most powerful man on Earth they say.
God fucking help us all.
8
100 percent legitimately elected I’ll have you lot know.
9
The dopey old git is paralysed from the neck up anyway.
5
Got my phones on ee and broadband through sky, even got sky q now, not bad nipper, no complaints from dahn sahf. Two tins and some string.
2
I also. You can get straight through on the tin.
2
Unless the tins contained pork then you might get crackling. Start the car.
8
I digress. England cricket team are 321-1 against the Oirish. They must be using no balls. The only wicket was c & b Hand. Surely by a hand.
3
Bogtrotters can’t play cricket
2
You’re right. Can’t even bowl out the mongoloyed dwarf Fuckett.
2
If Virgin media is as bad as that fucking Virgin Atlantic bastard advert with every assortment of freaks known to man on it – then I’m sure that it’s a right cunt.
8
🎶 Aaahhh am what aaaiihhh am 🎶
Get fucked.
7
You would have thought the peacefuls would have planted an IED on it. Alan’s snackbar. Boom, freaks are flying.
3
The only airline where you’re likely to get bummed in the toilet by a male mascara-wearing trolley dolley nancy boy after he’s spiked your drink.
8
Vies with BT as one of the shittest companies in the country.
Would rather rely on a french carrier pigeon.
Cunts.
4
I’m still hopeful Super Cunt Branson dies in a catastrophic random disintegration of one of his space ships,which no virtue signalling cunt ever calls him out for polluting the atmosphere.
Moon oven.
5
Hopefully his own teeth might devour him. There’s enough of them.
3
To be fair to that hairy cunt Branson (never something I’m happy about), he hasn’t owned it since 2006.
0
Take me back to the good old Telewest days. That company was great.
2
My first venture was with ntl. Technically, they were pretty good, rarely had any problems. Billing, however, was another story. For 18 months I got a staff discount despite calling and telling them every month for the first 6 months that I didn’t work there. After that I emailed them every 3 months. Luckily so because after 18 months they ‘discovered’ I was getting a staff discount and tried to backdate the difference. I told them to fuck off, pointed out the emails and they left me alone. Didn’t get the discount from then on though.
4
That ain’t your fault is it. Some fucking Muppet tried signing you up on a staff discount I expect get their sales figures up.
1
You should have just taken full advantage of the discount until they realised themselves. You could have always claimed you didn’t notice and then told them to fuck off
1
About three years ago the footpaths on my street were resurfaced, and not before time.
They looked great.
Two months later, along comes this company, digs a trench right up the middle of the footpath to lay fibre optic cable.
Right mess, muck everywhere, great big unsightly scar badly filled in, footpath damaged by the machinery, causing the surface to disintegrate.
Every month, despite having a “no cold caller” notice on my door, I get one of these twats ringing the bell.
Thank God for video doorbells, I just shout “fuck off, can’t you read” through the talk function.
6
Where I used to live about 1/2 mile of dual carriageway was resurfaced. Took 2 weeks. Come Monday these bastards dug a trench the whole fucking length about 2 feet from the kerb. For a communications company there is a distinct lack of communication.
4
Cannot disagree, Moggie.
I used to work for a massive, well-known UK based telecoms company, God bless them and thanks for my fantastic early retirement package, but you’re still a bunch of cunts.
Anyway, the situation you describe was actually one of my promotion interview questions. What would I do?
Sack them all, I said. Is it beyond anyone, in a Communication company, to pick up the phone?
Was the right answer.
2
BT Openreach/Wholesale by any chance? I worked for them. If you actually see what internet suppliers could send out back in the day it was shocking. You literally had access to a system that could spoof any email address which was UK registered. Insane.
1
No, CCtCM.
Not them.
I had standards.
Go back a few years, pre-Openreach.
1
Clown clown do you live in Mumbai? Because the only dealings I’ve had with those cunts has been with some bud-bud ding ding thousands of miles away!
0
No I don’t live in Bradford.
1
This is exactly my problem JP. Even yesterday I thought I’d have a pint sat outside the pub, turned up and these cunts are there with a mini digger right outfuckingside. Ruined my day yet again like they have done frequently in the last few months.
Do people really need all this super fast fibre optic shite? I’ve got standard broadband and everything I watch loads pretty much straight away, YouTube, Films, PornHub etc. That’s good enough for me and probably good enough for 90% of the population…
1
Damned right, LG.
If, as a nation, we rose and said, collectively.
Stuff your fibre, we don’t want or need it. Just give us a decent network, they’d curl up and die. Whose trying to convince you that you need a better connection?
Gravlax guy?
enough said!
1
We have KY-Com ere in ‘ull. They seem to be OK. Thank Dog my mobile is a 4G, so I don’ t have to replace it for a year or two, at least…
0
I reside in Plymouth and was seduced into subscribing to BT Halo.
The package came with a free EE wifi modem just in case that BT broadband played up.
What tempted me was the promise of a free upgrade to Fibre to Premises (instead of the crappy FTCabinet) in the near future.
I’ve had this shitty contract for over 12 months and there’s still no sign of full fibre anytime soon.Any advice would be welcome
Currently I’m spending silly money for a paltry 32 Mbps connection. Rip off cunts.
PS Have any cunters seen the devastating news that “R@rbg” is finished?
0