Cowardly Euphemisms

 

I’ve just seen this article regarding fat cunts and the resulting problems with seats on aircraft.

This refusal to describe something candidly as what it is, has annoyed me for ages, but this one takes the biscuit – “large bodied passengers” and “guests of size” indeed, what a load of creepy crawly old wank.

No wonder there are so many fat cunts about now, presumably hardly any of them would acknowledge that it’s a problem.

Msn.com

Nominated by Mary Hinge.

96 thoughts on “Cowardly Euphemisms

  1. I went from nearly 20st 2 years ago to 14st 4lbs 16 months ago to 16st 8 where I am at the moment. I’m dieting again but even at 14st 4 I was a fat cunt. I call myself that because it’s what I am. No amount of prevaricating and/or euphemisms will change the facts.

  2. I’m always amused by certain American euphemisms for the bog; you know, rest room, powder room, and absurdly, the bathroom.

    Afternoon all.

    • I asked for the toilet in a bar in NY and the barman asked ‘the restroom?’. I said ‘no, I want a shit’. The memory of the look on his face had me giggling for hours afterwards.

    • The throne has to be our best one. Can feel like royalty every time you take a shit

    • Annoying cunts the septics. I always wish they would step out from the first floor when visiting us

    • Don’t like their crudités such as mother F. I can’t even print it because it’s so derogatory. Now why don’t they say lavatory for the toilet like we taught them. Wish they’d stop messing up our language.

      • I’m amazed the yanks never followed up with Fat Cunts are Us. Crudity suits them.

    • Ive always liked ‘the dunny’, even though i never use it. (the word).

  3. My favourite new euphemisms, courtesy of Steven Crowder are:

    – Discipline and Respect (Bitch STFU or I will end you!)

    – WATCH IT! (Bitch STFU or I will end you!)

    – Fucking WATCH IT! (Bitch STFU or I will end you!)

    – Put on the gloves and walk the dog (Bitch STFU or I will end you!)

    – Be worthy. A worthy wife. (Bitch STFU or I will end you!)

    – “I WILL FUCK YOU UP!” (Bitch STFU or I will end you!)

    Granted the last one is questionable due to a lack of corroborating audio evidence but still funny as fuck.

    • Afternoon TITS, Crowder ought to go the whole hog, convert to islamic fundamentalism and hurl a beaker of acid in his wife’s face when she hesitates in giving him a nosh.

      • Discipline and respect innit……. rrrrruubber dinghy rapids Bro!

      • My 72 year old boomer Dad used to watch Crowder for his “Change My Mind” segments.

        Now my Dad thinks Crowder’s an abusive, manipulative bullying cunt….. which of course he is.

      • For me it was sending his slim blonde wife to a feminist gathering just to show how ugly and frumpy most feminists are, it didnt really achieve anything.

  4. Every business does this now.

    Use softly softly words for people.

    The flakey contingent -lepers.

    Vertically challenged- midgets.

    You shouldn’t pander to anyone.

    If some butterball wants two seats ?
    Fine.
    Pay for two then.

    Park your big flabby arse and get out your nose bag of Jaffa cakes and enjoy.

    But those plane seats to be fair are tiny.
    Made for amputees or something,?

    No leg room.
    Crushed in them.

    I’ve never once enjoyed going on a plane.
    It’s a chore.

    And I’ve never enjoyed abroad.
    Full of fuckin foreigners.

    Rhyl again….

    • Advantage of going abroad rather than North Wales though Mis, is that you can understand the locals. They all speak intelligible English and generally don’t gob all over you while doing so.

    • But the Welsh are foreign cunts in my book too MNC! Especially those inbred fuckers in the north of taff land

      • They sometimes give extra leg room seats for freaks, I mean very tall people MNC.

        If it wasn’t for the peacefuls, you could’ve asked the pilot to open the door and rested your feet on the dashboard.

        Maybe just sit in the aisle? Should be enough legroom there.

        I’m surprised you haven’t cunted people saying, “What’s the weather like up there?”

        I’d say it every time I saw you MNC, just to annoy you. I’m a right cunt me.

        If you don’t want foreigns on the plane, maybe try this airline?

        https://youtu.be/6VLYpKGVBUg

      • I don’t enjoy the people
        Don’t enjoy the hot weather
        Don’t enjoy the food

        Abroad isn’t really for me Cuntybollocks.

        I went for others.
        Missus , kids, mates etc

        But now?
        I simply won’t have any part of it!
        I don’t enjoy it.

        Yeah those imaginative wisecrackers?

        ” What’s the weather like up there?”

        ” Did your mum put you in the greenhouse/growbag?

        I never get bored of it!!
        It’s funny every time,
        And has been for years!

        I can’t get my breath for laughing sometimes.

        And I join in by saying

        ” Did your mum shag her brother and that’s the reason you look Down syndrome?”

        They like that!!👍

      • Good on yer MNC. I commented on that documentary you recommended on another thread today. Forgot which one.

      • I’ll look in a minute mate.
        Been working all day,
        So missed a few bits.

        The Attica prison thing?

        Mad eh?
        They should of shot the lot of them.

      • Who? The hostages?? Thick useless cunts gunned down their own guys.

  5. I’m a great fan of ‘challenged’ as in:
    follically challenged = slaphead
    upwardly challenged = shortarse
    visually challenged = blind
    cerebrally challenged = Diane Abbott

  6. Large bodied 😂

    I use the term fat cunts and everyone then know what we are talking about .

    I’m still wondering why I never received a reply to my application for Head of HR and Inclusion at British Airways

    • My other half, who is as tactful as an air raid and has a booming voice, likes to shout out “Got to keep body and soul together” when he sees a very fat cunt out and about, especially if they are eating – thankfully he was in a position to take early retirement so I don’t have to worry about him being sacked.

  7. This all started when “second hand” became “pre owned”. It sounds so much better……to the extent that now it is often “pre loved”. That’s ok if you’re talking about a prozzie but does it really apply to a fucking car or a motorcycle?

    • Due to political correctness, the term “pre-owned” had to be superseded because blokes were referring to their ex-girlfriends minges as “second hand squish mittens”.

      Because “pre-owned” squish mittens implies squish mitten ownership (hence slavery); somebody, somewhere, on the internet got offended, the term “pre-owned” got replaced with “pre-loved” and the rest is history.

      Reminds me of a story I read a few years ago about a guy texting his ex’s new fella.

      Fella – Hey how does that old, second hand pussy feel?

      New Fella – After the first 5 inches…….. like a brand new pussy.

      Fella – Fuck you.

      New Fella – She already has thanks.

      • It’s when the bird in the massage parlour asks you if you ‘require relief’.

  8. The media and politicans do it all the time when talking about refugees.

    “Displaced people”

    “Undocumented workers”

    “Transiant peoples”

    “Victims of modern slavery”

    Of course very few will call a spade a spade.

    • And…”some of the world’s most vulnerable people.” = P*nces

      • Saint Gary of Lineker refers to the migrant unwashed as ‘vulnerable people with no voice’.

        The ones that I have to endure at dialysis are the most thoughtless, moaning, entitled and ill mannered cunts known to man. Let on to them or even offer them a seat and they fucking blank you. Yet another dark personage turns up and they are all over them. Those cunts -especially those African types -are about as vulnerable as a rattlesnake.

    • I’m still waiting for my reparations from the eyetie dago cunts for what the Romans did to my ancestors. Likewise the Norwegians.

  9. I have always thought that certain euphemisms for stupid people were needlessly cruel. Things like brain dead, brain damaged and brain donor are hurtful macro aggressions.

    I now refer to them as the thinking impaired.

      • Understood LL.

        Septic slang is a bit different. Here in the states, I use the following for Democrats:

        Demonrats
        Dumbocrats
        Democunts
        Deginicrats (pronounced Dee-gen-ih-crats)
        Fucking scum sucking, commie, rat bastard, motherfuckers.

    • Euphemisms, or dysphemisms?

      My favourite euphemism for a dumb person was a friend talking about somebody we both knew and didnt have a lot of time for.

      He was of ‘limited comprehension’.

      My favourite euphemisms for gay men;
      Light on his feet
      First on the dance floor
      Theatrical
      Male Bake-Off contestant.

      • Mine are:

        Sword Swallower
        Butt Bandit
        Rump Ranger
        Turd Burgler

        And I don’t care if I hurt his little feelings. As we say in the States; Suck it up Buttercup.

      • i think those are technically dysphemisms, Of which there are many;

        Fudge-packer comes to mind.

  10. If you get called a fat cunt then it’s probably because you are a fat cunt. Live with it or do something about it….you fat cunt!

  11. No need to dress up what I am – just call me a cunt. I’m happy with that. It’s both succinct and accurate.

    • They even repeat game shows like Bridge of Lies and Pointless. And those BBC cunts want you to pay for such shit…

  12. I remember when they used to have “repeats” on the telly. Now it’s “another chance to see the classic……..”

  13. There was this rotten bitch I used to work with, as a person she was a pain in the arse. But the daftest thing about her was that she refused to admit she was fat, and she was fucking massive. The closest she got to it was saying ‘I know that I am a bit round’. Fucking round? She was like the Michelin Man in drag. Thing was, she would point out other workmates shortcomings with relish, yet when one called her a fat cunt there was a huge scene and the big blob went crying to the boss. She was one of those cunts: things only mattered when they affected or suited her. She was a tuppence flicking dyke and all.

    It’s fucking laughable that we aren’t allowed to say it as it is anymore. Like that fat squawking cunt, Lizzo. The MSM and the woke loonies treat her like she looks like Ann Margaret in her prime with a voice like Aretha Franklin. She is fat, simple as that. And her musical ability is nothing to shout about at all. But – like the media’s favourite pet blacks (Megain, Hamilton, countless others) and poofs (Schofield, Daley and other rampant whoopsies) – fatties are now worshipped and get a free pass from the woke mob. They are beyond criticism and anyone who says anything ‘wrong’ about them it’s seen as ‘shaming’ them. Just like the Bash Street Kids character Fatty being written out of the Beano stories. Another piece of the world that has gone mad.

    • I haven’t read the Beano since I was a kid but I can hazard a guess that Walter the poofter and his arse bandit clan are no longer terrorised by Dennis and his mates, who routinely used to beat fuck out of them, set his dog on them etc.

      Worlds gone to pot

    • Yes, there are lots of men and women who dish it out but can’t take it at all.
      I think the word is ‘cry-bully’..

  14. Fascinating how every clodhopping useless overrated donkey is now described as a legend.
    Ex-Manchester United ‘legend’ Jordi Cruyff being just one example. He was a lazy feckless softarsed cunt. Now his dad, he really was a legend.

    It’s just the same with pop stars. Some backing singer from S Club 7 snuffed it the other week. I had never heard of him. yet he was referred to as an ‘icon’ and a ‘pop legend’.

    Fair enough, when a genuine big one goes (Hendrix, Elvis, Lennon, Marley) they are going to get that treatment. But now every fucker gets it and such terms are thrown about at any talentless and superficial cunt like confetti.

      • There are also a select group of old has-been managers on permenant standby ready to be parachuted in to save some yoyo club from relegation, usually described as “old hands” or a “wily fox” ie…been around the block and can earn a tidy sum for half a dozen games or less.

      • Dead right, Liberal Liquidator.
        The old managerial relics known as ‘specialists’ and ‘old campaigners’ like Allardyce, Warnock and Redknapp. Aye, specialists in relegation dogfights and winning fuck all.

      • Roy Hodgson. He has spent 90 years managing all over the place but is tactically inept.

        A poor man’s Tony ‘5 -4-1’ Pulis.

    • Agreed. i have a nom about the overuse of the rerm iconic posted for admin approval.

      i’m sick of mediocrities being elevated by sycophants and stupid cunts.

  15. Sugar coating filthy deviant behaviour by referring to “Minor-attracted persons” instead of pea-doughs is the one that gets my goat.

    • Absolutely!

      I put a nom up a while ago about some American cunt going on about precisely this. It hasn’t appeared tho, so it might not have been accepted.

    • Yes, the most degenerate euphemism.. A retort to the simpletons who say ‘Political correctness is just manners and politeness’.
      Same goes trying to make peoole use certain pronouns.

      Is it fuck, you myopic cunts.

  16. Got a mate universally known as Lard cos he is of ample proportions and a proper bloke so he treats it as the affectionate humour it is. My mate said to me once that I weren’t a bad sort of cunt but that was his way of saying how much he liked me, shy of showing his real feelings probably.

  17. Of course we cunters are just as guilty as the rest of the sheeple. Don’t we say “Peacefuls” and “Stanleys” rather than “dirty, scrounging, kiddy fiddling, terrorist, goat shagging Muzzie bastards?”
    Mea culpa.

  18. Fuck me, you say it how it is and you get fucking moderated. The irony.

  19. Fucking pigs.

    i was friends with an American birdon faceboof , only through her husband.

    Every day, a motivational quote, ameme, a post about being healthy at any size.

    She looked like a cabbage patch doĺl’s head on a bulk bag of tapioca pudding.
    She also used the term ‘adulting’ and tried to dress as wonderwoman.

    If society had the balls she”d not advertise herself, but the delusion was maintained by the sisterhood.

    I honestly wonder if she survived the Wuhan Lung-Fu.

  20. Cunts is cunts.

    Scotch is scotch.

    To our good health and honest opinions.

    “Hansard,quoting Ian Blackford” and Readers Digest “How did that fat cunt make it to 60 ?”.

    • Indeed Unk.

      I currently am sipping a very generous measure or three of an agreeable Naud Cognac. Most pleasurable.

      Chin chin.🙂

  21. I have a wonderfully svelte body and my weight hovers just below the ten stones mark. I am a fine figure of a man, but realize that not everyone can be as fortunate as me, so I feel for the fat bastards who have all that excess baggage to lug around with them wherever they go. To fill planes with tiny inadequate seats is nothing short of discrimination to porkers. If we can put a man on the moon, surely we can fit a few rows of bigger seats, preferably in the middle section, to accommodate these greedy twats who wish to travel overseas. They could fit lifting tackle with harnesses to lower them into position before take-off and bring them back to a standing position on arrival at their destination. We have the technology, all we need is the compassion and the resolve.

    • I applaud your caring, sharing attitude. However I suspect airlines advertising “fat bastards seats” will result in wokies crying about discrimination etc etc.
      You just can’t win with these cunts so why bother?

    • Unadventurous measure. This plan is more innovative….On check-in, fat cunts will be weighed and measured along with their luggage. Those with a BMI of 28 or more will then be required to submit to compulsory liposuction; the extracted lard can then be reacted with methanol and potassium hydroxide to produce biodiesel. It might not be suitable for aircraft engines*, but it would be fine for shuttle buses and ground operations vehicles.

      *Except the Junkers Jumo 205 –
      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Junkers_Jumo_205

      Crazy guys, crazy motor.

  22. That’s a good one… ‘Sex Worker’.
    Used to described prossies, dominatrix and arse selling renties…

  23. Obese American black women seem particularly deluded in this respect. You often see them in stomach churning outfits with their blubbery “booties” and “big ol’ titties” spilling out…blackheads, scabs and all.

    Wobbling one’s head while waving a finger back and forth and saying “I’m all dat” doesn’t make it so.

    It must be some kind of primitive simian mating display, designed to send the males of their species into wild rape mode when accompanied by rap music.

    Not my cup of tea. If I want to witness such jungle business, I’ll stick to the Discovery Channel.

    She-boons. Not even once.

    • Yes the media seems enthralled by these beasts and promotes their excessas eager as it promotes horrofic entities like Sam Smith.

      In my day Gender benders had a bit more talent and subtlety (Boy George)

      • I met him. He’s a right cunt…and a nonce.

        I know what you mean though. This lot nowadays are freaks of nature masquerading as human beings. Perverts the lot of em.

    • Examples; Alison Hammond
      Gemma Collins, the fat drag queen from Masterchef…

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