School Reunions

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I nominated school reunions a few years ago when a friend was invited to one and through a mate I hear that my old year group is planning one for the summer after being delayed by Covid.

It sounds fucking awful and I have no intention of going. I left the area more than twenty years ago and have no desire to see any of my peers again. Have the geeks really inherited the Earth and did the student radicals ever leave university? Are the sporty cool kids now fat and balding trapped in a mind- numbing career at the cracker factory fast approaching middle age? What happened to the good looking girls? Have their looks gone south, their perky tits and tight arses a distant memory and does anyone remember the name of that kid who shit his pants in PE?

All part of life’s rich tapestry I suppose but it doesn’t matter. Jobs, kids, divorces, weddings, coming out of the closet, John transitioning into Jan…I don’t care. I’m a bit of a lone wolf by nature with my own interests and a few close friends, we have all grown up and changed for the better or worse with the world a different place.

The consensus of the IsAC fraternity from the original nomination was a resounding “NO”. Wise advice from my fellow cunters.

The past is the past.

Nominated by Liberal Liquidator.

86 thoughts on “School Reunions”

  1. I don’t have any friends and am more than comfortable with the situation. The idea of meeting up with people after over 40 years, who I didn’t give a single thought to even at the time, is not one I care to entertain.

    • School? … PLUS forty years? I’m only forty myself and I wouldn’t want to attend such a cunt-fest even if I were paid.

      Two years after leaving school, I bumped into the pricks from school who I hated and they were still pricks.

      If anybody needs 20 years or even 40 years to wipe the steam off their glasses to realise that a cunt is a cunt, then there truly is no hope.

  2. The past is the past but I think if I was invited to go to one I would have to go. Not to socialise, merely to see who’s made something of themselves and who’s a cunt.

    I’d also like to see if Sally Stevens in the year above is still worth a good porking

    • Sally Stevens?!! She wasn’t Seffrikan, brunette, by any chance? If so, you and I might have been at the same hell-hole together!!
      Sarah Cooper, two years above me, gave me the horn something rotten, a.nd when I was carted into her A&E, she even remembered my name!

      • Good to know you didn’t have to suffer me, LaughingGravy!!
        Maybe Sallies are inherently sexy…

    • ‘who’s made something of themselves and who’s a cunt’

      i’m pretty sure that is the real reason behind them anyway.

  3. I was at school with one Gordon Sumner, better known now as ‘Sting’. I can just imagine a school reunion with every cunt claiming to have been Sting’s best mate. In reality he didn’t have any mates.
    Incidentally his nickname was ‘Lurch’ on account of his uncanny similarity to the Addams family’s butler. You won’t find that mentioned in his autobiography.
    Class reunions are for show-off cunts.

      • Sting’s Grandma used to live in a flat above my mate in Heaton, Newcastle. He never visited her, always too ‘busy’. What kind of cunt doesn’t ever visit his own Granny?

      • Me actually! Probably in account of the fact she’s been dead since 1979. Even if she wasn’t I probably wouldn’t go see her. 99% of what’s left of my family are cunts! They probably think the same of me. Is my face bovvered though?

      • I never vosit my paternal nan because she was a scheming two-faced piece of shit who treated my parents like slaves when they looked after her at home. Now she’s sat in a care home after nearly destroying her flat in an assisted living place.

        thick twat.

    • I used to work with a guy whose sister’s mate’s girlfriend went to school with Russell Brand and apparently he was a cunt in school.

  4. Hate every minute of school, teachers were cunts, classmates were cunts, apart from several of the girls.
    The idea of reliving any of it fills me with dread, can you imagine all the fuckers telling tall stories about how well they had done in life, turning up in limo, s and other utter bollocks…. Fuck that, zero fucks given
    Several times I have been asked over the years, thanks but no thanks.

    • You’re thrown together with a bunch of irritating cunts you didn’t choose. I could have guessed then who would be in prison, who was a shirt-lifter, who was a pæed-doh, who was a bit terroristy, and who a bit rapey. And that was just the tutors.

    • My old secondary school has a Facebook page, I had a look at it out of curiosity a few weeks ago. I did get the impression that all the same knob ends that thought they were a laugh a minute back in the day were on there, basically reliving those times with each other. The woman who runs it was described as the ever-young Jane so-and-so, looked like fucking Tutankhamun in the picture. I was amused to see that the only reference to my family was that you couldn’t go round and visit us because we had a huge mental dog that would go for anyone , and which was secured to the fridge with a large chain, as that was the only thing heavy enough to hold it down ,and that my dad was always in his vest. All of which was true.

  5. I had the chance to go to one years ago. Fuck that thought I. The chance to see cunts who treated you like shit? Fuck off.

  6. I seem to remember a website friends reunited.. “yeah if they were real good friends why have you lost touch”

    Full of bullshitters spinning yarns..

    I think face-fuck probably made it obsolete..

  7. Still mates with my old school pals that are alive.
    And a couple of old teachers
    Popular me

    • Same as.
      My best mate from day 1 of senior school is still my best mate now, 40 years later and I care about him a great deal.
      He is a fat cunt.

      • My mates have been my mates since we started infant school.

        An I’ve been a school reunion.

        It was alright,
        In a pub.
        But was this woman who completely rewrote her past.

        She said she was bullied
        And it was horrible.
        I hotly said
        ” DID YOU FUCK!!”

        She even had the audacity to slag off school.meals!

        I wasn’t having that!
        I told her she was a crank and that school dinners were the finest food she’d ever eaten.

        She’d succumbed to modern victim claiming.
        Past bashing.

        The stupid bitch.

        I enjoyed it!!

      • We had decent meals at primary. It was a great school. Secondary school didnt really do meals, just hot and cold ‘food items’; sausage roll, cheese and tom. pizza slice, dried up BSE burger wrapped in greaseproof paper, turkey burger in the same., dry old chips in a paper cup, or a cheese and tomato sandwich.

        If kids weren’t getting good food at home, they were nutritionally fucked.

      • So you care for him then?

        Do you change the sheets or do you have plenty of nappies so you don’t have to “do his downstairs?”

  8. A former schoolmate and teenage friend who turned out to be a scrounging, lying snidey cunt, died horribly a few years ago.
    The warm satisfying glow was most satisfactory.
    Another so called friend turned out to be a pea dough. He shot himself, ( fucking good show ).
    Fuck friends and school reunions.
    Cunts.
    Get To Fuck.

    • Morning Jack 👍

      My mum an dad are going to a birthday party in a week or so,
      A woman who lives up the road.
      This woman’s cousin will be there.

      Angela Rayner 😁😁

      I hope she asks my dad’s opinion on anything.

      Hes to the right of Rudolph Hess,
      And makes us on ISAC look like a Islington dinner Party.
      Not shy in saying what he thinks either.
      Hehehe 😄

      • A MP asking someone’s opinion?🤪

        Maybe can I claim this on expenses?
        I hope she chokes on a scotch egg.

      • Morning, MNC.
        If he can manage it…..
        I’ll pay good cash money for her underwear👍
        Assuming she wears it 😀

      • You’d better have a better bid than me then Jack.

        I just hope she uses a trigger word to him!

        Immigrants
        Ethnic minority
        Teenagers
        Green issues
        Net zero

        It’s a fuckin minefield that could get Angie at the end of a barked rant that’d make Tommy Robinson cry.😄

      • The only question the ginger tart would answer would be “how much do you charge”. You could be more subtle – if you have the time, I have the money

    • With you on that one Jack. If a group of cunts i went to school with wnt down in a plane or were popped off at a. wallmart shooting whist on holiday in the usa my only passing though did they get any more.

      Cunts the lot of them. Took all the years to get out of the stinking cunt hole why make an effort to go back.

  9. Reading the posts so far I am encouraged by the fact that most express the opinion that school was fucking misery and there is no way the folks posting would ever go back there. It makes me feel less of a misfit. Teachers commonly were thugs and preverts who were in the job because it was a licence to abuse youngsters in any way conceivable. PE teachers were notorious. Us poor saps who were not natural athletes were casually beaten by big tough ex-military types for not getting some new exercise right at the first attempt. Subsequently they would come and leer at us in the showers. In the spring of 1968 I decided being sixteen I wouldn’t bother to return after Easter. At the end of my last day I got on my bike and rode away leaving all my sports and PE kit behind knowing I would never need it again. I have no track of anyone with whom I attended school though I have heard a few of them are dead.

    Christ, don’t I rabbit on? Sorry.

    • I only went to school for the fine dining and art .

      The rest of it I pretty much ignored bar history lessons.

      I always thought Art would play a part in my adult life.

      I had a gift for it.
      I had extra classes in it .
      Earmarked as gifted!
      (Me mam was dead proud)🙂

      There was 3 of us, all lads who were good.
      Nowadays
      We’d be going into graphic design,
      And carefully helped develop.

      But this was the mid 80s.
      Ones dead after developing a taste for heroin.
      One dead after a career as a speed dealer an prison.

      An I’m a removal man.

      Fuck Art.

      • That’s a coincidence Mis. I was also keen on art and in fact I’ve got an old photo of me receiving a prize from the Lord Mayor for my entry in some competition when I was about thirteen. School cured me of that interst though.

      • Morning Arfur 👍

        I’ve got to say, it came as a dent to my ego to find that there was other kids better than me at art.

        There was one lad (the junky) who was years above his age in aptitude.
        I strived to be as good.
        To equal him.

        But couldn’t.

        He was easily better than the fuckin teacher!

        After he left school the only thing he drew was the dole.

      • Further thoughts Mis.

        Don’t put yourself down for being a removal man. It’s an essential job and I’m certain you work harder than half the prats out there. The ones who do work that is.

        Delighted that your dad is still defying the medics predictions; long may he do so. Make the most of it. I’m afraid my dad died at the age of 54 when I was 26.

        And I guess most of us are hoping your dad gives Angie a good tongue-lashing! As Harry said we’ll be waiting on a full report.

      • Cheers Arfur 👍

        Oh no, I’m not ashamed to be a removal man.

        I was bragging.😄
        Hehehe

      • @ mis. Well I did hear your front gates were tastefully painted..

        A touch of michelangelo same might say..

      • At my school it didnt pay to be good at anything apart from football. The place had an extreme case of tall poppy syndrome.

        Even outside the school, if somebody dared set try a bit of watercolour painting in the surrounding fields, loitering teens harrassed and even attacked them, tipping their art equipment over a wall.

        Not sure if that would still happen as my hometown has been heavily gentrified but it used to be shite.

      • I feel your pain. Wanted to be a graphic designer, then the credit crunch hit, was exacerbated by discrimination towards me being Autistic, now work in a shop. If it’s any consolation, regardless of what you do in life, you will always be creative, and you can use that to your advantage.

    • Spot on arfur, once I left and started Tech as part of my apprenticeship I really enjoyed education the lecturer’s treated you as people and unlike school teachers knew their stuff and could actually teach..

    • I’m an ex PE teacher Sorry
      Ex miner also. Sorry for that too Greta

    • I am fully with you there arfur. I went to school many years ago at a magnet for q ueer teachers – an all boys school. Our sportsmasters were the worst, and other teachers knew of their predelictions – and this was long before homosexuaity was decriminalised by that nice Roy Jenkins. I imagine the teachers are all dead now – my oldest friend who I met on day one at senior school died not long ago, but I don’t think either of us ever knew or cared what happened to the rest of them – I assume the worst of the school bullies served sentences for GBHif as an adult he was anything like he was at 15.

  10. Judging by the large number of cunts I see driving around and in public spaces, I am guessing that a significant portion of my school colleagues would also fit into the Cunt category. What could be worse than seeing some arsehole from back then, bragging about how much better they think they’ve done than you?

    • I reckon most of the cunts at school have done fuck all, just like me. And those that have done well? So what, I don’t care.

  11. My best mate of 56 years and I didn’t go to the same school, which might explain why we’re still mates.
    He might even post stuff on IsAC. Or not.

    • You need to be more subtle by, say, developing telekinesis. Nobody would suspect a thing.

    • Luckily enough any lingering sense of vengance i had was exorcised by the bulldozing of the old buildings to make way for houses and a new academy.

  13. shit like this is why I’m glad I dont do social media. Even if the cunts organised one I would never know. Even if I did rather get me nuts cut off than see Oliiva and hear about her litter of crotch gremlins.

    • It’s that distant land..
      The past.

      You don’t see anyone from schooldays?
      Probably with good reason.

      People from my past I like/care about?
      They’re still in my life.

      People who aren’t?
      I’ve no interest in seeing again.

      Sometimes things are best left as memories.
      The fit bird with perky tits?

      Do you really want to see her now she’s some frumpy fat mum?

      Seeing lads who you knocked about with,
      Bald, frail, maybe need a stick to walk?
      In your minds eye they’re 14yrs old , full head of hair, swift as a whippet,
      Good footballer etc.

      Best left that way.

  14. Ah, school! The best days of our lives, said some cunt, once. I can’t say I hated it, because I hardly attended. I haven’t a single former schoolmate on my FB account so why the fuck would I want to attend a reunion.

    • I went to a loathesome Birmingham grammar school which saw itself as a mini Eton; an absolute bastion of middle class snobbery which was tough for a working class kid like me.

      I despised every second I spent in the place and was never asked to any reunion. You can probably guess what my response would have been in that event.

      Morning all.

  15. Sorry Admin;

    ‘Morning all’ (gone onto moderation) is actually yours truely Ron Knee!

  16. I was academically bright but most of my memories of secondary school were of trying not to get caught gawping at the birds in my class. I got busted once but once youre busted that’s it youre the class perv. Guy I sat with in science was gay and he chose dance GCSE which meant he was in a group of girls and got flashed at more than once apparently. So fucking jealous and it wouldn’t have even raised him a semi.

  17. I’ve got a ‘Junior school’ reunion coming up soon.
    I’m dreading it, I’ve put on at least ten stone….

  18. Little chance of attending a school reunion when my attendance to regular lessons started to wane when i turned 16 and got a job in the hotel up the road. Half the last year was a doss anyway with weeks off for GCSE revision.
    I did enough to get to do A levels. In truth I shouldve played truant much more as the place was more a daycare centre/ zoo than a place of learning.

    ive seen a few of the prats from school since, they all seemed a bit sheepish. Perhaps because I put on 3 stone of muscle working on building sites over my late teens/early twenties over holidays and weekends. By that time i had made loads of new friends at a big college 11 miles away and through work.

    I know a couple of blokes who beat up theirschool bullies in pubs years later but I dont want anything to do with anyone from my old school. The building itself is dust, having been bulldozed and replaced with housing and a new academy, and Facebook allowed me to look at what some of tgem arre up to. All the girls just have baby photos,and the lads the default middle-distance shot with shades. All boring , and i quit Facebook 6 years ago.

    • I forgot to say I didnt go to the end of school dance either. I went to Pizza Hut with friends from 2 other towns including a lad in my class who hated that school as well. The funniest part was getting some pointless award and not being there to collect it.

  19. Now I find it funny, that one of my dreads of school life was going to the local swimming baths to learn to swim, under the directions of a sargent major with a big stick, who made sure you’d never be able too, to save your life.

    That achieved, my only wish is that the so called swimming instructor died in a care home in 2 inches of bath water.

  20. One of the few people I am actually in touch with from my school days (a lady actually) asked me if I wanted to go to an upcoming school reunion. I said no because I thought most of them were cunts then, and they are most probably cunts now,

  21. More than half the girls I went to school with were up the duff by the time they were 16 and had left. The place I went to was a slags masterclass. Jerry Dammers was right when he wrote ‘Too Much Too Young’.

  22. I look at the Old Cuntians page once every couple of years to remind myself why I am never, never, never having anything to do with the filthy, pretentious, inadequate dump again. Also to see who has snuffed it, and snigger.

  23. 40 years.

    I last saw any of the cunts who keep trying to organise these sort of reunions was 40 bloody years ago, and from what remaining memories of school I have that haven’t been extirpated yet, I do particularly remember not liking these organisers, in fact, I remember liking less than a handful of the buggers I was forced to associate at school with in total.

    I hated school, hated most of the people there then, so why the fuck would I want to voluntarily associate with them now?

    These tossers haunt some school related Failbook groups, and not having a Failbook account, I only get to hear about their planned Reunions from my youngest sister, who I think enjoys setting me off on rants by mentioning them.

    I know there is the morbid curiousity factor in seeing again the lassies I was once in love (and those I was in lust) with, but after 40 years and the dropping of sprogs…and their sprogs dropping sprogs…and some of them are great grannies by now…No, I think I’d rather just keep any remaining memories of them that I have as ones of how they once were.

    When it comes to certain aspects of the past, I don’t burn bridges – I fucking well nuke them (from orbit, if necessary). School is one of them.

  24. I fucking hated school from the first day at 5 years old, to the day I stopped showing up and went to work as a labourer on building sites aged 15.

    The only reason I would show up to a reunion would be to screw the doors shut and then hose the place down with a flame thrower.

  25. I last went to a reunion in 2002 hoping that sexy Suzanne C and fuckable Fiona W would be there. They weren’t, but lovely Lizzie B was, so not all in vain. Didn’t get to cop a feel though…

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