Potholes (2)

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Nope, I’m not talking about Katie Price and her well worn cavernous hole(s), but the pot holes on our roads that seem to multiply quicker than a Pakistani family of 28!

We all know this is probably one of the biggest scams going on between local councils, contractors and central government with regards the money made available for fixing potholes and maintaining roads generally.

It can take weeks, months or even years for a reported pothole to be fixed, depending on the location, the local council, their list of priorities, the budget available and the availability of contractors who actually do all the work as cheaply and quickly as possible, while probably charging the council way over the odd for the repair!

Moreover, there is some general vagueness as who to report these potholes to. If its a local public road or B road, then it should be up to the local council (although its different in the Smoke where certain roads are maintained by TfL);

‘A’ roads and motorways in England should be reported to “Highways England”;

And the local landowner is generally responsible for fixing/maintaining private roads under the “Common Duty of Care” Act of 1984.

But once reported don’t expect an immediate response because the above-named authorities will all play pass-the-parcel in terms of actioning the job. Hence why it could take months to see anything done.

Then of course when they do eventually get their act together they will strip a good hundred meters of road rather than just the pothole area itself. Tarmac rather than asphalt will probably be used; and it wouldn’t surprised me if the tarmac was “diluted” so that it could be spread further at cheaper cost, but would only last a couple of years before breaking up again.

And even more annoying is that once a new road has been laid those cunts from the utility companies will suddenly appear wanting to do the fuckers up again!

I suppose the only good thing to say about potholes is that they sometimes catch out those Lycra-clad cunts on their expensive racing bikes; even more so when a pothole is submerged by rain water!

I do so wish Jeremy Kyle would fall into a mammoth pothole never to be seen of again!

GCGRP Link

Nominated by: Technocunt

94 thoughts on “Potholes (2)”

  1. Potholes are the bane of the driver’s existence, Techo. Along with fucking cyclists, cunts on electric scooters, wandering pedestrians on mobile phones, cycle lanes, petrol prices…

    I rarely drive anywhere these days, it’s too stressful. Which of course, probably suits THEIR agenda…

    Afternoon all.

  2. Some of the pot-holes near me are so deep, doug mcClure and Peter cushing have been seen lurking nearby.

    • I think you are safe Barry. It would be a lot worse if it was the two Gary’s. Gary Linecunt & Gary Gadd.

  3. I am all for potholes if they can put Vine in hospital 😂

    All other potholes are cunts

  4. Potholes are a total cunt, but those fucking spindly legged lycra-clad cunt cyclists are the enemy. I used to find driving pleasurable, but not so much these days. Too many middle management cunts on cycles discussing their power meetings whilst riding five abreast in the road. Small wonder their posters of Sir Bradley have to be laminated.

    • yes. I live in Essex, just close enough to London for weekends to be absolutely ruined by these cunts. And now we have another fucking year of “Ride London” – we have to put up with it and we’re not even in London. Ok Khan, we’ll have your fucking wank cycle fest in return for you shoving your congestion charge up your p@ki arse.

      • I’ve recently rejoined twatter. I got banned a few years ago for calling Steven Gerrard ‘nothing but an absolute fucking CUNT’. (And numerous attacks on other utter fucking miscreants I’d had enough of)
        Anyway, I’m following that great mayor of Londonistan.
        Everyone who replies to his ‘Look how fucking great I am ‘ fucking hates him and each individual is deservedly correct.
        I’m not promoting twatter but I find it hilarious.

  6. You need to move next door to Rod Stewart, Techno. He fills potholes so they don’t do his Ferrari a mischief.

    • I’ve cycled down his road (yes, as well as a biker, I am a cyclist, but a considerate one) and it is a fucking disgrace. However, I think it is a private road, so he should pay for it. And if I had his money, I wouldn’t live in the shit-hole round here.

  7. Further evidence of the fast approaching end of the UK as we know it. Along with the lack of Police, nurses, dentists, etc. Oh, and tomatoes. Lack of cash no doubt, another invalid reason to get the proles off the roads and back in the fields where we belong. Cunts, I fucking hate living in England nowadays.

    • Loads of Tomatoes in Tesco this afternoon, not many police or nurses though.

  9. So who is YOUR choice to disappear into Techno’s mammoth pothole, never to re-emerge?

    Hundreds to choose from of course, but for me, it has to be H and M, the Monteshiteshow Mingers.

  10. For decades, we used to pay billions to the EU which went towards bridges, training centres, sewers, railways, and much else in Eastern Europe. British taxpayers were bled dry to raise the standard for these pîkey backwaters while our roads were left looking like the squalid country tracks of some turnip-chomping gýpsy farmer cunt.

  11. Seeing that roads are black, I’ll say no more about how quickly they can be filled in.

  12. It’s a absolute disgrace.
    If I paid taxes I’d be livid.
    Third world roads,
    Even potholes on the bloody motorway!!

    Worse place I’ve found is Sheffield.
    My fuckin van disappeared in one.
    Terrible.
    Like it’d been bombed by stukas.

    They spend all the money on bicycle lanes,
    Fuck knows how they go on?
    The poor little blighters.

    • It’s bloody appalling, Mis.
      Not just the state of the roads, but the footpaths, too!

      I live about a mile or so away from Rotherham, you can tell, with your eyes shut, when you’ve crossed over.

      If Rotherham can keep the roads/footpaths in good repair, what in God’s name are Sheffield Council spaffing our money on?

      Oh, of course. LEZ’s, the cunts.
      That’s Low Emmision Zones, btw , and not the sexual orientation of the Council.

      • That link, Herman, started the launching of nuclear missiles, or summat.

        I quickly closed it down, before it reached zero.

        As to Rotherham becoming a centre for the culture of kids, you know they can’t spell.

        “No speak English”

        They meant cultivation of kids. They’ll be on fire if they try it!

      • I was shocked just how bad it was JP.
        Came through Buxton, over the scenic route ,
        Soon as I got into the outskirts of Sheffield I was hitting potholes.

        The council should be ashamed.
        Not like they aren’t busy roads!

        I’m in Chesterfield on Friday.
        Hope that’s better,
        Hoping for a chippy tea on the way home😁

      • Can’t really recommend anywhere, Mis, unless you detour through Whitby.

        The Admiral chippies are supposedly good, and there’s quite a few of them.

      • And unless you are the proud owner of a working Chieftain tank, stay away from Sheffield, if you value your suspension.

      • Fuckin Whitby??
        That’s some detour JP!!

        Naw,
        Toll bar chippy in Stoney Middletons the one JP!

        Hundred year old it is.
        And the nearby church is 15th century.
        I can sit next to stream there an fill my hairy face.

      • Have you ever tried that chippy just after Harpur Hill in Buxton Mis?
        Harpurs plaice?
        I use cat and fiddle at least twice a year and always wondered if it’s any good.

      • I haven’t Cuntflu,
        Not sure if it’s any good?
        That one in Stoney Middletons cracking!👍
        Can even buy a beer and sit next to the stream.

  13. They hate us don’t they?
    Presumably they can’t feel the bumps in their top of the range Range Rovers.

  15. There is wag who goes by the nickname “Wanksy” who quite cleverly paints a giant comedy cock and balls around potholes in his area in order to get the council to do their duty and repair the bloody things.

    However I suspect the council has spaffed all its money on mudslime community centres so has just bought some tarmac coloured paint instead.

    Cunts.

    • That approach does seem to work, Unk. I may have tried it myself. A giant comedy, spurting cock and bulbous bellend, spitting a large blob of jism onto the King’s own highway. Lovingly finished off with a pair of bulbous plums.

      Must be painted in a nice bright white or yellow roadmarking spray paint.

      Nothing gets those Cuntcil cuntractors out quicker to fill the hole and obliterate the offending ‘artwork’ with a black roadmarking spraypaint.

  16. You’re all lucky t hav t’potholes t liv in we h’add t liv in t gutter..
    Still we wer lucky we tad running watter most of t’time

  17. Don’t worry about potholes – there are much, much more important things in life, like four schoolboys having a copy of the Koran and they must be punished. What the fuck is wrong with this country. Can you imagine plod sitting next to the local vicar because some kids have dropped a bible on the floor?

  18. Fucked up roads are all part of living in a backward, third world country. There’s no point in repairing them while trash like us are still using them. Once they’ve priced us off the roads then they can spend our money to fix them. It’s all to save the fucking Polar bears.

    You know it makes sense.

  19. Totally agree with this cunting. I love the way they spray around it in white or if you are lucky orange spray to indicate to the monkeys that this needs repairing. Also why do traffic lights and road closures seem to pop up for what seems a trivial repair, and the warning signs cocked out in the road so you have to nearly stop and go around into oncoming traffic. And then there are full closures like the one in deepest sarf zummerset two years in due to a landslip, get it fucking open you lazy cunts.🤯

    • Saw this yesterday on my way for a pint and game of snooker at t’club, four hi-viz clad cunts standing around doing fuck all, they had closed 100 yards of one lane, traffic lights the lot, right by the buss creek bridge, bearing in mind the the lights had been put there last weekend! and what were our illustrious road operatives doing!! sweeping the fucking pavement, absolute lazy arsed cunts.

  20. No need to fix them, the WEF will make sure there aren’t any cars.
    The elite will use helicopters.

  21. I rescued a whole Thai football team this afternoon from a pothole.

    Expecting a call from amazon about making it into a film.

    • Some cunt will call you a ped0 like that diver who tried to save the kids trapped in the mine.
      *Cough Elon musk

  22. I heard that spray painting round them exonerates the council as its considered a visual warning
    I wouldn’t be surprised.

  23. Spray ‘ Allah’s arse’
    Or ‘ nI9no9s mouth’
    Next to it.

    Wait 30 min.
    Filled!

    • I don’t think Ive ever seen any Muzlime graffiti.

      Wot, no groomers

      Allãh Woz Here

      Jihaddi Jihizzed here

      If you want a good time, call Jamal and say you’re nine.

  24. If we ground down all those useless suspention wrecking speedbumps, then with the right mix of whatever, I am sure we would have more than enough to fill up all those holes, that resemble an airport runway in a war zone……Job Done!

  25. Its not just the roads. Everything is falling into disrepair – buildings with rotten window frames, peeling paint, stained render, broken fences, overgrown weeds and brambles. No cunt is willing to spend any money maintaining the infrastructure we have.

    It will soon crumble to a point beyond no return and then our streetscenes will resemble something from Central Baghdad. I really am unsure what the plan is, but it seems to be a UK-wide theme.

    If you don’t believe me get up an area on Google maps streetview which you are familiar with and view it as it is today and then view any older scenes of the area on the tab in the top left corner. I compared an area local to me in 2022 and 2009. It has fallen from a clean respectable town to a pile of ratshit in a little over a decade.

    What the fuck is going on?

  26. I have to say, that my house is kept in pristine condition.

    I have a gardener who keeps my grass and shrubs tidy.

    My home is immaculate, it’s all easy clean, plastic everything, everywhere, fuck painting.

    I have it deepcleaned once a month.

    Then there’s the dirty tramps, live just down the road, God knows what it smells like indoors, outsides bad enough.

    How I wish I could move.

      • In Tracy Emmins bed, no.

        Not at all, Freddie.

        As previously stated, my home is immaculate.

      • Come on……everything is plastic, no painting (geddit?) and surrounded by smelly w*gs…..it’s got to be the Tate Modern!

    • Pray tell Jeezum, why can you not move? In 1999 we left the area where our friends and family had lived for generations and moved a hundred miles down the country. Piece of piss.

      • arfur, I’m nearly 70, and in I’ll health, hence why I have gardener/cleaners.

        I just can’t face the fucking upheaval, all the packing/unpacking.

        Not to mention dealing with estate agents, solicitors, utility suppliers, etc

        It’s just too fucking much. 20 years ago, yes. Now, fucking no.

      • Understood Jeezum. I’m two years ahead of you but although I had a cardiac event in 2016 and six stents installed on the day I have had the good fortune to be keeping pretty well since. I wish you the very best. Look after yourself.

    • I have a beautiful home.
      And gardens.
      Especially the gates.

      Just so you know.

      • It really is stunning, peacocks, fig trees and water fountains, I thought I was in ancient Rome until Miserable yelled “Oi!. Use the tradesman’s entrance cunt!”.

      • It used to be …… “the Barbarians are at the gates of Rome!”
        Now they are at the Country Cream gates of Miserable…….. opening Mosques, corner shops and kebab emporiums.
        It’s called progress…..apparently.

      • My phone threw up 🤮 a Grauniad article with some effnick journalist waffling on about Englands countryside being “too white and middle class”
        Frankly, that’s why I moved there, apart from the middle class bit obviously…

      • If your ethnic, fuck, even if you’ve a bit of a tan,
        And you ask directions off me I’ll send you miles out of your way.

        Theres no deed too petty,
        Vindictive, or childish that I won’t stoop too.

        And if where I send them is dangerous or certain death ?
        So much the better.

        I hate seeing these fuckers in the peak District.
        Like finding half a maggot in a apple.

  28. I’d like to break the spine of whomever’s in charge of the roads and transport them to hospital with no pain relief, over every pot-hole and speed bump in the area and see how fucking quick they get sorted.

    Cunts, whoever they are.

  29. Oh, very droll. Did you have to feed your other brain cell some glucose to come up with a classic, devestating, original put down like that, you sad, lonely little Troll? You sound like one of the other Trolls that’s been banned and crawled back out from under your bridge and registeted under another nom-de-plume. Do you wear a wig to hide your lobotomy scars?

    Stick to goat-bothering. It’s more your intellectual level.

      • Not very pleasant!

        Left wing unions,such as UNISON ,UNITE,GMB,etc don’t care about you. They take your money to fund ther £120,000 a year jobs.

        There agenda is a Socialist government and they use people, like you, to further their aims.

        19% pay rises would spike inflation: it is madness. Sure,you do incredibly long hours in difficult circumstances for not much financial reward. However, the AFC pay bands are not a secret and you would have known the pay when you joined.

        All you are doing is ,finally, killing off the Labour Party. And about fucking time.

      • Judging by that latest rant, your other brain cell’s ran out of juice. Back behind your bike shed, in Worcestershire, Jeffery the Hate-Filled-Troll.

        Anyone turned up, yet?

  30. Oh dear, Hate-Filled-Troll, press the ‘Grass’ button, did we? Too close to the truth for you? Got a link to back up your fantasist claims, have we? Back behind your bike shed, Jeffery.

    Mr Grimsdale!

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