Bjork The Djork

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Bjork is a cunt.

My sister in law (a bit of a cunt herself) has been playing this shite on our CD player and going on about how great Bjork is….

Great?! It’s a fucking noise! Like a tone deaf kid with learning difficulties.

One of her many excruciating songs I’ve had to suffer… Absolute drivel on a stick…

YouTube Link

Nominated by: Norman

49 thoughts on “Bjork The Djork”

  1. I bet she would have been a monumentally great fuck, back in her prime😍
    I saw her in her “Sugarcubes” incarnation.
    Would I?
    Oh yeaaahhj😘

    Now?
    Probably👍

    • I’m not quite sure that Norman is alluding to that aspect of her ‘talent’.
      However, there are plenty of less than reputable members on IsAC who would lap up such a situation.

  2. Jesus what a cacophony.

    She’s a proper mental.
    Not put on ,
    Shes legit bonkers.

    But I liked her in the Sugarcubes.
    And a few tunes on her own,
    Good voice.

    And yes, I make no apologies for admitting I’d rattle her.
    Mentals are great fucks!

    Although I’d give my name as Brian Martin,
    Selby, Yorkshire.

    https://youtu.be/Z5fAWpv_axs

    • If you fancy taking your chances with her, don’t wash for a few months-she likes black-cock.

      She might say:

      “It’s not dark enough!”

      “Maybe not luv-but it fucking stinks!”
      👍

    • Probably a bit menopausal now (I can’t be arsed to look up her age but she has been about for years) so not only mental, which she has always been, but completely off her trolley.
      Norman, I feel for you having to listen to that absolute shite.

  3. I agree wholeheartedly with this nom.
    The hard to look at bitch is impossible to listen to. How this talentless thing is still going is impossible to fathom out.

  5. I don’t mind her – at least she is different to many of the boring acts out there.

    She has been around for sometime, having released her first album in 1977.

  10. Some years back. I caught sight of Bjork getting out of a black cab in Seven Dials. She smiled at me. This creature is truly not of this Earth.

  11. I clicked on that link. Christ!

    Was she free translating some ancient Latvian curse?

    Because it wasn’t music. I kept expecting Satan to appear.

  13. Bjork was just a whack job that thankfully we don’t hear any more, Lilly the mong of the past, I can’t wait not to hear that fuckwits….

    • I remember UT-turns our the journo had sat behind her on her flight and harassed her for the entire duration of her flight.
      Tabloid journalists are scum.

  17. There’s a touch of the Greta Thundberger in Bjork, isn’t there. She always tries to do that ‘mad-eyed’ stare while almost smiling and speaking like a little girl. All fake, of course. At home, she probably wears trakky bottoms, glugs ale, and farts like a soldier whilst watching Eastenders.

    • I’d like to think so, but no.

      It’s obvious, too many magic ‘shrooms, took a trip, but with a one-way ticket.

      Shame really. I thought she was shite back in the last century, and I haven’t changed my mind today.

      Saw a news item today about that “nasty rag” Pete Doherty. Fuck me, bacon pig sprung to mind!

    • I agree Captain. I don’t get why anyone would want to tub Bjork. She’s always looked a bit ‘mongy’ to me.

  18. It’s just a noise to me. Not much better than Yoko Fucking Ono really. Along with Cilla Black, Bjork is the only person who can sing flat and sharp at the same time.

    Oh, and I have to say this today.
    Up yours, Gorton Globetrotters, And stitch that.

      • Nice to see Pep Cuntiola being so gracious after Ciddy got turned over. Toys well and truly thrown out of the Gorton Globetrotters pram.🤣✔👍😂

      • With clown after clown at the helm since Fergie retired, it’s took me a while to take to Ten Hag. But I must say tonight the bloke deserves a dog turd sized cigar, a huge bottle of brandy, and to flick two fingers up at Pep Cuntiola.👍👏

  19. My sister in law also loves Lana Del Rey. One of those artists that can’t sing, so they use air and a ‘breathy’ voice to cover their lack of singing ability. Also, her songs are shit and she’s your classic hipster cunt. One of Lana Del Cunt’s gems is that Dennis Wilson was more talented than Brian Wilson. Do fuck off.

    • You have my commiserations, Norman.

      Two tips.
      1. Sit on your hands, so you don’t involuntarily slap her.
      2. When your piss starts to boil, leave the room, house, estate, country – whatever works best for you – until you can go back in the room without sitting on your hands.

    • Even better:
      Invite her over every time UTD are at home.
      Go to the game-it’s your club, not the fucking pseudo fans.

      Job done 👍

      • Both good ideas.Cheers lads.👍

        But, I think I have now got rid of the cunt for good.
        The bitch only comes here at Christmas to freeload and be made a fuss of (but never by me). But, Jesus Christ, what a pain in the arse, and what a cunt. This last one – 2022- was particularly gruesome, with the fucking witch on prime form.
        However, I have persuaded the Mrs that her sister is bad for my health, what with the treatment and everything. So, from now on, Mrs Norman is going to visit her if and when she has/wants to. I will have no part of it and the bitch will never darken my door again. And she can stick her Bjork and Lana Del Cunt CDs up her arse.

    • Yes. It was played at the end of the 1993 film “The Young Americans”, starring Harvey Keister.

  22. Seriously, she is a stunningly bad singer! Why would anyone subject themselves to that noise voluntarily?

      • So far superior to Bjork’s efforts Mis, it’s difficult to believe that they are both nominally performing in the same art form. My first thought was that Linda could give Bjork lessons but then I remembered that old Geordie jibe; “Why aye man, it would be like trying to teach pork!” Thanks for the link.

  23. Bjork is shite.

    I always knew Bjork was shite.

    Even in her earlier days when a couple of fit lasses from the sixth form I was in, were into her music and I pretended to like Big Time Sensuality, just so I could nip in with one of them – I still always thought she was shite.

    Over the years I hear her old songs being played somewhere and I still think – yeah pretentious wannabe wacky shite.

    She’s recently released some dirge which gets overplayed on 6 Music and it is fucking awful.
    Far worse than the old stuff.

  24. Was she not Goldies bitch some time ago? Does she play tennis? She can’t fucking sing almost as bad as yoko.

  25. Someone should tell Bjork that shouting is not singing. Any fucker can shout. Bjork actually reminds me of a long forgotten episode of On The Buses. Olive tells her brother Stan that she is going to form a pop group. She then bursts into song, shouting possibly the most annoying sound ever heard.

  26. Early Bjork was good Debut especially anything after 1997 is her weird cacophony of Icelandic witch whore moaning sounds… Yeah she turned into a real nutter

    Ironically some of her best stuff is DJ’s remixing her songs

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