‘There’s nowt as queer as folk’, the old adage has it. I reckon that’s true.

Recently I cunted an 88 year old French twat who was admitted to hospital with a WWI shell stuck up his arse. Now let me introduce Toco, a Japanese gent who spent over £12k to buy a collie costume in order to fulfil his fantasy to live as a dog.

Barking mad, I hear you say, and certainly the gentleman has voiced his fears that family and friends will think him ‘weird’. That’s a good word to use I think, especially if he takes to eating dog biscuits, but they probably won’t mind too much as long as he doesn’t take to chewing the furniture and shitting on the carpet.

‘It takes all sorts’, to use another adage, and indeed we all have our quirks and foibles if we’ll only admit it. I’ll own up to a life-long penchant for sniffing women’s panties; it’s a harmless enough eccentricity.

So on you go Mr Toco; just take care about where you cock your leg up next time you’re out for a walk, and don’t go sniffing any ladies’ crotches, you daft cunt.

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Nominated by: Ron Knee