Abrdn (sic)

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(CEO: Stephen Bird = FUKIG TWT – Day Admin)

No, the cat hasn’t just walked across my keyboard. Here’s me thinking that no company could possibly come up with a more ridiculous rebranding than Liverpool Victoria to LV=. But how wrong I was.

First, a bit of history. Two Scottish investment companies, Standard Life and Aberdeen Asset Management, merged in 2017 to form Standard Life Aberdeen. The directors then spent the next few years busily engaged in paying themselves big fat bonuses whilst buggering up the company, losing business, cutting the dividend and pissing loads of dosh up the wall by sponsoring golf, rugby, skiing and the arts. Incidentally, with all that money, you would have thought the golfer in the photo could have afforded a bra. Anyway, I digress.

So how do they improve the company’s performance? Well obviously by handing over a load more lucre to a bunch of corporate rebranding consultants to disemvowel the name to ‘abrdn’. Brilliant! Pitch an investment company at the TikTok generation of aspirational dyslexics. That was 6 months ago, so how is the rebrand going? Well I’ve just checked the share price today and it’s tanked by another 32% in the last 6 months, making a fall of 70% in total since the merger.

‘abrdn’? More like ‘cnts’.

Sky News Link

Nominated by: Geordie Twatt

73 thoughts on “Abrdn (sic)”

  1. Ho ho, what a bunch of spastics.
    Rebranding never works. Remember when the Royal Mail changed their name to ‘Consignia’? For one whole year, 20-odd years ago.
    And changing a proper English word by hacking out most of the vowels isn’t new or clever. The Welsh have been doing that for centuries with their preposterous made-up language…

  2. Shouldn’t it have been disemvowelled (good word) to Stndrd Lf Abrdn ? That would be 3x as stupid.

  4. Opal Fruits to Starburst. That was a cunt.

    Might as well have called them ‘Homosexualist Gayness Chews’.

    • Another one right there – poof to gay. Poof is a far better word. Unfortunately, queer has been hijacked back by the queers.

      • Oh ffs – moderation. Let’s try this:
        Another one right there – p00f to g@y. P00f is a far better word. Unfortunately, qweer has been hijacked back by the qweers.

  5. These are investment companies.
    Formed (supposedly) to give the best returns on their punter’s money.

    Re-branding on that scale costs a fucking fortune.
    The bill for new stationary will run into millions by itself.

    Then there is new signage for all their buildings, although they may be able to claw some money back from that by selling off the unwanted vowels.

    Maybe to a company called ‘eee’.

    • EE are cunts
      First One to one then T-Mobile now EE these cunts probably have a whole department dedicated to this name Changing Shit

      I think the floor below is the correct Pronoun department and the one above is the lgbgt pride Fairy mincing section

      • “We’ve just landed a ‘plane”!

        No, you haven’t, you squadron of cunts, you’ve watched a pilot land a ‘plane, on a screen, in your front room, just like watching it on your telly.

        Kevin Bacon? Footloose? Foot-Up-The-Hoop, more like.

    • ‘Then there is new signage for all their buildings, although they may be able to claw some money back from that by selling off the unwanted vowels.’
      If there’s a winner in this, it’ll be that scruffy cunt Drew Pritchard .. he’ll turn up offering thruppence a letter .. ‘I’ll take the lot’ … says he, as he adjusts his tramp’s bonnet …. Then he’ll flog them on for a grand a pop to the Nottinghill designer mob.

  7. The Saxe-Coburg Gotha clan can change their name to Windsor but to me they’ll always be Spngng Cnts.

  8. A change of name won’t change the item in question
    Remember if it’s moist and nestles between a ladies thighs then it’s a Cunt.
    Like wise if it’s a bbc newsreader it’s a Cunt
    Other examples are available; browse through this site.

  10. The Premier League should rebrand itself to something more fitting.

    The chippy black criminal and woofter appreciation society, perhaps?

  12. They can change their name every week for me,the complacent cunts won’t see a penny of my money.

    I’ve spent it all on sctch.

  15. Off topic but watching the T20 World Cup and India are about to play Pakistan. I’m sure the rozzers in Leicester will be busy today.

    100,000 crowd in Melbourne. I’m sure they all traveled from the sub continent lol. Imagine the stench? Fuck me, the Oz is being taken over by the cunts too by the looks of it.

    • Although I hope India win. Ashamed to admit I love a grudge match and hope it kicks off to fuck in the stadium.

      Should liven up a quiet Sunday.

  17. Rebranding doesn’t work.
    It sows confusion.

    Whores= sex workers
    Transvestites=women
    Dark keys= Bames
    Nestle shitfingers= kit kat
    Pee dos= LGTBQ

    Just stick to the established branding .

    And taking out vowels makes things sound polish.

    Sck m cck.

  18. Although sometimes rebranding should be done.

    Wagon Wheels for example. When I was a kid, they were huge. Now, you need a magnifying glass and a pair of tweezers to eat the cunts.

    Wagon Wheels? Wagon Crumbs more like, the cheeky bastards.

    • I remember CB.
      Once we had family from Yorkshire visit and not enough room at the table .
      My mum improvised using a wagon wheel,
      Which seated a family of four.

      • They’ve even reduced the old Wagon Wheel biscuit in size, which now only feeds one. That’s enough to make anybody miserable.

      • As a Kid I can remember Fun size Mars Bar
        A lot of fun for a kid, do you want a normal size chocolate bar or a Tiny one

        Nowadays the fun size is the Normal one

        Chocolate making Cunts

      • Indeed MNC.

        Remember when they first put that retracting roof at Wimbledon for the tennis when it rained?

        First year they used it it jammed. McEnroe was shouting ‘You cannot be serious!’ until Cliff Richard used his wagon wheel as a makeshift stadium roof.

        Absolutely true story.

    • They even band the liquorice Smoking Kit, because you weren’t allowed to eat it indoors.

  19. There will be an abbreviation of antidisestablishmentarianism next. They should leave well alone.

  20. Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch in Wales has been abbreviated by the yanks to getgo. Go to blazes yankie bastards. Life is short enough.

    • Lloyds Bank is always messing with its branding.
      Hundreds of years old financial institution ,
      Funded great projects like shipping for the slave trade.

      Have a great mascot,
      Black beauty,
      Brilliant adverts of a majestic horse at full run across a beach,
      Perfect.
      Iconic.
      They’ve renamed as
      N*gger donkey.

      • And that Scottish widows.
        Never mention what her deadbeat husband died of, notice?

        Probably fell pissed up or choked on shortbread?

        And she looks sexy in her mourning black,
        Bollocks.

        In reality it’d be some sagtitted old heroin addict with no teeth wailing about how her wee Donald died an left her pennyless.

        Throw her in the poorhouse.

      • The lengthy Cockney rhyming slang goes against the grain to the jolly old foreigner, which makes me laugh.

    • Aye that’s right.

      BbC no
      BBc no
      bBC no
      BbC no

      Inspiration!

      BBC

      That’ll be ÂŁ12 million please.

      • We’ll have the Nigel’s reducing isn’t it even further soon. Whoops, they already have.

      • ISAC should see a consultant about its branding.

        Merchandising, coffee mugs, t-shirts, cuddly toys.

        Sponsor a cunter?!!
        Where you can fund a cunter ,
        I’m a big fan of this because of the operation I need of unspecified urgency that I can only get from a specialist in America,
        And without which I’ll shortly die.

        Maybe a naked calendar?

        WC Biggs for January
        Miles plastic February
        Fiddler March
        MNC April -may

        Maybe a kids version ” Is A Twat”. Bit milder.

        All these ideas.
        And I’m a removal man.

        I should be in some posh office in that London wearing braces and mixing with Alan Sugar and those Dragon den cunts.

      • Maybe a revolutionary branding is need Miserable.

        ‘Is An Angel’. Instead of Is a Cunt.

        We look for people who are paragons of virtue and sing their praises.

        ‘These angels are all about helping others’ a trypical post would start.

        It might take a little time for re-adjustment.

      • We could try it Miles.
        Whether itd be as popular I’m not sure?

        Nomination – Cliff Richard.

        ” He looks good for his age!”

        “He does a lot for charity”.

        “I’ve always liked his mild inoffensive music”

        See?
        Lacks passion.
        Whereas

        “Cliff Richards neck looks like a lizards ball bag and I hope he’s in hospital this Christmas so I don’t have to see the boring little cunt on telly”

        See what I mean?

      • No Miserable it can be done. We all just need to re-focus.

        As a first practical first step I would suggest listening to Sir Cliff’s classic ‘Mistletoe and Wine’ a few hundred times
        for encouragement.

    • Could be onto something there MNC, Mabye franchise out the ISAC to other countries, I’ll start with my own first to get it out of the way
      Is a Langer.bog
      And mabye for America “Is a Fanny.Adams”
      “ Is a Snail.Fr for the frogs
      “Is a Sausage.De for the krauts

      The site could go public first so shares can be bought before the launch and then skyrocket once outsourced to other countries.
      đŸ€‘đŸ€‘

      • 😂😂 And don’t forget your extra line in accessories MNC
        White Man Van could be one that sells well, “ain’t nothin that can’t be shifted” by an action man.
        Removals a specialty and then it’s time for the beards barbecue.

  27. The blacks are very polite.

    They see no evil.
    They hear no evil.
    Speak no evil.

    Just live it up at everyone’s expense, which isn’t wise. The evil black bastards.

  29. Are these the same cuntholes who came up with that nonsensical portmanteau term ‘mansplaining?’

    Any Cosmo feminazi caught using that gets asked ‘Do you know how portmanteau words are supposed to work, you thick bint?’

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