Interfering Athletic Event Spectators

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Emergency cunting for dumb public cunts who run or cycle alongside athletes on pavements during the marathon, triathlon or events held on public roads.

The other day I sat down to watch the Commonwealth Games marathon and triathlon events. During both spectacles I watched two daft cunts, both with phones in hand, run alongside athletes on the pavement as the individual athletes approached to take selfies and, I’m guessing here, put on social media under “Look at me running along with this athlete like a cunt”.

Back in the day I represented Scotland at international level in a team sport and at our best we gained a European silver medal and came 7th at world level.

I trained hard, it took four years of hard work to get to that level for the Europeans and worlds (and no – no government funding as we were classed as an amateur sport – funded it myself, don’t get me started… £25k of my own money…..) and did not appreciate cunts running alongside me, and asking for selfies when I was training.

Simply, when I see these daft cunts run or cycle alongside an athlete it makes my blood boil as I have a sudden urge to smash each one hard in the face. It is a mixture of vanity, disrespect, and utter annoyance. From someone who spent 12 years at international level don’t run beside athletes on open roads. Cheer them on instead you cunts.

Nominated by: Raiders of the Lost Cunt

51 thoughts on “Interfering Athletic Event Spectators”

  1. Fuck me, admin. That’s a right collection of lezzers there. The one at the back looks like Jaws speccy girlfriend from Moonraker.

    • Reminds me FMC of some research by a female academic some years ago which found that 90% of women who played football were sapphists. Also, have you noticed that sportswomen don’t have tits?

      • Lack of oestrogen or, more likely, illegal testosterone supplements that make their tits shrink I reckon.

      • I would dream of tampering with what The Good Lord gave me,Miles…it’s just one step shy of full-on transbenderism.

      • You once said that it was so long you had to tuck it into your welly.
        I bet youre glad you weren’t born a Hebrew and your bellend exosed to that ‘rough’ inner welly lining.

      • You could have just stopped at “I bet youre glad you weren’t born a Hebrew” and left my vast appendage to go about it’s business undisturbed.

  2. “ Emergency cunting for dumb public cunts who run or cycle alongside athletes on pavements during the marathon, triathlon or events held on public roads.”

    The clues in the name PUBLIC ROADS, not there for the use of cunts to practice their minority low interest sport.

    Try shutting a public road for a game of after pub cricket and see where it gets you.

    Fucking athletes seem to think they are a special case, them and wanker competition cyclists.

  3. Watching athletes run 23 miles is not exactly riveting stuff, is it? It would be a lot more fun for us couch potatoes if a woman did an Emily Davison and threw herself in front of one of the runners. I might feel inclined to watch if that was going to happen.

  4. I remember when everyones favourite gay diver Tom Daley did a marathon, ending in his home town of Plymouth (recorded for a BBC documentary) that fat old poofter Eddie Izzard, done up in wimminz schmutter joined him for the last mile so he/she/it “got in on the act”. These cunts probably do it for the same reason.

  5. If youve a day off work,
    Why not pop along to a race,
    Wait near the finish line,
    Wearing shorts an a vest,
    And as the lead racers pop into view,
    Stick a big number on your vest and dash out past the finish line and act like youve won!!

    See how people react and how many beleive you.

    If its a cycling race ,
    Do the same but on a Raleigh chopper.

      • I got it from Rising Damp. Rigsby is told that a barmaid will ‘interfere’ with you if you give her a ride home. He does this. ‘Did she interfere with you? ‘ ‘No’.

  9. I’m often to be found on Great North Run Day shouting abuse at Mo Farah while attempting to hit him with one of those old-fashioned cameras on a tripod …and no appeals to my sanity will ever stop me.

    • Ellie Symonds will stop you, you pernicious wretch!
      She’ll wriggle under the camera’s black cape thingy and ask you to caress all the lumps and bony protrusions on her weird dwårf§ head.

      • I wonder if she’s got hydrocephalus?…you’d think that if she was born with so much water on the brain that it gave her a deformed head, she’d spar well clear of fucking swimming-pools,wouldn’t you?….I know that I once got some water trapped in my ear while at a swimming-pool and it was fucking irritating,,,never mind having 5 gallons sloshing around in there before I even dived into the water.

      • Do you know Mr F, I might break the tradition of my adult life and watch Strictly this year. With Ellie Symonds on it, there’s potential for much hilarity, especially if she’s paired with that Ade Adepitan or similar Davros.
        But maybe I’m being too presumptuous about dwårves. Maybe they can dance. They can do many things. After all, they managed to transport the One Ring all the way to Mount Doom.

      • Ho ho, excellent MNC.
        And that’s the best dance a honky of any size has ever performed.
        As hard as that stumpy little fucker is to understand, at least he’s not Welsh.

      • Hang on, that’s Nik-Nak from The Man With the Golden Gun, isn’t it?
        Or a Boglin?

      • 22:15 is not the time of evening to click that link. Im sleeping with the light on after seeing that no matter what the financial cost is. Ive decided MNC aint quite ‘wired up’ right. Shudder.

      • Don’t you remember all the hand wringing and tears when they had those two mongs dancing to Phantom of the Opera in front of Sarah Brightman? She was sobbing and probably thinking that the two little cunts had ruined her act!

      • If they all dance that well ill be tuning into Strictly too!
        😁

        Ps
        The middle age woman on the tube trying to act nonchalant made me laugh!
        Pretending a mishapen midget dancing in a bikini doesnt faze her!!😂

      • I think most people will tuning in to see if her dance partner drops this mermaid Hobbit or launches her offset somewhere.

      • I don’t care what Fiddler says Thomas, that is being booked for the Rugby Club’s New Years party!

      • Much like an inverse “Celebrity Deathmatch”, there ought to be a “Most Amusing Strictly Dance Pairings” list.
        I’ll open it up with:
        Tanni Grey-Thompson and Metal Mickey

      • Miles – that 321 hand manoeuvre is what Dustin Lance Black does when his hand is in Tom Daley’s bottom.

  10. It’s also cuntish behaviour from the arseholes who stand at the side of the road applauding marathon runners.

  11. “Back in the day I represented Scotland at international level in a team sport and at our best we gained a European silver medal and came 7th at world level.”

    You’re obviously not a footballer then….😉

    • Nope, thank god. Actually won some silverware at international level.

  12. Hey (DJ), Vernon Fox is back! Posted on the MSM thread on 6th August, three days after saying he was ‘Gone’! His self-imposed exile didn’t last long!

  13. I can understand kids doing it. Probably the sort of thing I’d have as a primary aged kid, just to see if I could run faster than them.

    You must’ve seem that far middle aged bloke running alongside then too.

    What a fucking prick he looked doing that. I’m hoping one day one of these idiots runs into an open manhole or off a fucking cliff.

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