Wembley Stadium Balloon Ban

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In 21st Century killjoy Britain balloons are being outlawed. Balloons have been seized from football fans entering Wembley Stadium on the absurd pretense they could spread “panic” if they burst. The Wilsher family brought balloons to hand out to Crystal Palace supporters at a match. Ok – they had 32,000 balloons to hand out for free – but they were still just balloons.

The hapless Wilshers were initially accosted by a Trading Standards Officer who said the balloons “breached the rules”.

Then they were confronted by a jobsworth from Brent Council who said that as this was council land they could not hand out the lethal balloons. They issued the family with a fixed penalty notice over “elf and safety fears”.

Then they were confronted by the head of security for Wembley Stadium who seized the balloons as the stadium’s “safety certificate did not cover balloons” !

Brent Council officers then issued them a fixed penalty notice but refused to tell the Wilshers how much the fine would cost, simply saying “it will be in the post”. These cunts were dressed in black and were recording the family, including their six year old son. The offending boxes of deflated balloons were then seized by the Brent Waffen SS officers. The families 6 year old son was crying by this point.

A council spokesperson confirmed action was taken against Mr Wilsher and added balloons can present a “serious safety risk” when in large quantities. Mr Wilsher said –
“We were just trying to bring some colour, noise and spectacle to the day but that was taken away from us”. No doubt he was feeling a bit deflated.

Surely it’s an Englishman’s god given right to inflate balloons whenever he wants. This absurd episode highlights the joyless, bureaucratic, Elf and Safety nanny state we’ve become. It would be absurdly hilarious if it weren’t so chilling.

Wembley Stadium – deflating and sucking the joy out of every event it hosts. Cunts.

Telegraph News Link
(Sorry – only link and its behind a paywall).

Nominated by: MMCM

54 thoughts on “Wembley Stadium Balloon Ban”

  1. Brent Council again? They should have just said they were ‘diversity balloons’.

    • I think you have a point there L.L. No cunt would have dared to nterfear if they had been rainbow coloured balloons.

  2. Who on earth buys 32,000 balloons? I wouldn’t mind hearing them all go ‘pop’ at once though.

    • And that is at the heart of the problem. Some elf and safety cunt said that bursting balloons can cause alarm and panic and in a stadium there are no safe spaces for the snowflakes to retire to and recover from the trauma. Of course if they were really concerned about elf and safety they’d take a close look at those hot dogs they sell at £5.50 a pop.
      Normally I would be on the side of. this victimised family but as they were Palace cunts they can fuck right off. I would have given them 10 years in the Scrubs the fucking wankers.

  3. Brent council focus more on killer baboons with knives in thier community.

  4. Apropos of nothing.

    Last time I was at Wembley was the First Division playoff in May 2000. Ipswich beat Barnsley 4-2.

    I was well pissed that night.

    Freedom for East Anglia (Queensland Branch).

  5. How about sticking a canister of helium up Dianne Abbots arse and watch her float off over Brent council property ( it’s actually our property not theirs) Gladstone park, the cunt.

    • This action by the authorities is understandable, just imagine the panic and confusion that would be caused if these balloons burst, and the casualties that would occur. This would put an intolerable strain on our already overstretched health service. The population is already in a state of high anxiety with the Russians continually bringing up the subject of nuclear warfare. What would happen if a Wembley crowd thought that world war three had broken out? It’s just too awful to contemplate.

    • For a more spectacular conclusion, i’d change the propellant with hydrogen. Making sure to ignite a suitable lenght of fuse, after she sets off. Then wait for the gas bag to end in a loud bang & a bright yellow flash!

      • Yes Arfur, but when there are impurities in the air, & there usually is. Combined will the addition of the combustion process of Abbots innerds, the colour will be predominately yellow

    • Ghastly image aside, momentarily I was intrigued about the pitch and key of a helium fart…!

  6. I’m glad they stopped the Wankers….32,000 bits of plastic littering the area and potentially choking any animal that picked one up…I’d ban those ridiculous fucking lantern things that Cunts release too.
    I’d have dragged the Cunt off to the cells for 10 years and put his yammering brat into care.

    • PS…If the authorities fail to jail the Cunt and remove the brat,the very least they should do is stop the bastard’s child benefits….if they can afford to buy 32.000 fucking balloons,they don’t need my tax money.

      Utter Cunts…grabby Sods…the more I think about the more outraged I’m getting…ram the balloons up the leeching Cunts balloon-knot and inflate with a tanker full of petrol.

  7. I’ve just looked up the price of balloons.
    Sainsbury’s flog them at 2.50 for a pack of 50. I make that £1,600 ! Allowing for a bulk discount that’s got to be at least a grand, easy.
    What sort of cunt spends that kind of dough on fucking balloons? A fucking Stripey Nigel Palace cunt that’s who.

  9. Banning balloons at large events in case they go BANG! is clearly a sensible health measure brought in to minimise heart attacks among those foolish enough to have had the jib-jab and have now, as night follows day, developed a serious heart condition like us with special knowledge warned them would be the case. The fact that there is no mention of the real reason for the balloon ban in the mainstream media proves that this is in fact the case. A more honest approach to the problem would be to ban all vakzinated people from Wembley and let the balloons run riot. Never thought I’d be in favour of Covid passports but there’s obviously a very strong case for them now.

  10. Maybe if there weren’t so many Peacefuls walking around with backpacks people wouldn’t be so scared of exploding balloons?
    Get the cunts out!

  11. This nom reminds me of the story about the child who actually was a balloon. He went to a school made entirely of balloons where all the other children and the teachers were also balloons.

    One day the child goes into school with a pin and the headmaster immediately drags him straight into his office and berates him
    “it’s not just yourself you’re letting down, it’s going to be me, your friends and the whole school you’re letting down”

    Coat.

  12. Can you believe that you now have to get a permit to take a flag into the ground if it’s bigger than a certain size. Maybe a snowflake would have a panic attack if it passed overhead; they might think the sun had expired

    • Not if the flag says “Refugees Welcome”, “Save the Polar Bears, Hug a Tree” or “Gay Rights for Trannies.”

      It’s the law.

  13. I just hope lovely Lisa Nandy’s magnificent Balloons are never banned anywhere. I’d blow them up any time for her.

    • The most significant thing there is that Brent’s “enforcement officers” were wearing stab proof vests.
      That’s Londonstabistan for you.
      Well done Suckdick! Bringing Islamabad to a street near you.

    • Greetings RTC –

      Was watching an episode of Game On last night on bastard Roku. They still haven’t restored S3E1 to the lineup. Cunts. Anyway, was wondering if your boxset arrived and if you’ve been enjoying the mayhem with Matthew, Martin & Mandy. You skunk pussy. 🙂

      • Howdy doody IY.

        Yes, the DVDs arrived within a few days, but I’ve not got round to watching them yet… thing is we have a mountain of DVDs and stuff recorded on HDD to get through first. Currently on season six of ‘Monk’ and season four of ‘Cheers’….

      • RTC – Very nice. Mrs Yank quite likes Monk. The Cheers episode with John Cleese was great. Don’t know which series it was though.

        Have a great weekend’s viewing! Cheers – IY.

    • Ah.. old vaseline eyebrows.

      I could be wrong here but did Jim Leighton secretly wear contact lenses and he didn’t happen to have them in that day in the 1990 final?
      I’m sure I read something along those lines in one of Ferguson’s autobiographies.

      How’s it going Norman?

      • My kidneys packed in last November, Herman. I’ve been on dialysis since then. I’ve got used to it and I am going there today in fact. Thanks for asking, pal.

      • Fucking hell mate – I’m sorry to hear that.

        Wishing you a strong recovery and as Ruff said – great to have you back. 👍

    • Great to see you back posting, Norm.

      Sorry to hear of your health woes. Be strong mate.

      Any thoughts on Ten Hag taking over the reins at OT?

      All the best – IY.

  16. Perhaps they’ve got enough to worry about with the Goat and Carpet Bombers.
    The shithouse cunts.

  17. Balloons are no laughing matter.
    Theyve killed thousands of people over the years.
    The people of Ukraine will tell you, nothing funny about balloons.

    Sorry bombs.
    Meant bombs not balloons.
    Nothing funny about either.

    • In a previous place of work, someone had, without a trace of irony , put a notice above the kettle to say it can get hot and therefore may cause injury. I racked my brains trying to think of a way of using the thing for it’s proper purpose, without inviting some great calamity.

  18. We had lots of fun with balloons when I was a kid.

    Playing volleyball and football with them.
    Making your hair stand on end with static electricity.
    Burst them right next to some unsuspecting kid’s ear.

    Happy days.

    Now the UK is full of pansies, sissies and poofters.

    Bring back National Service.

  19. I wonder why they thought balloons bursting in a large crowd would cause anxiety. It’s not like any other loud bangs in crowded places in this culturally enriched country have ever happened.

  21. Balloon lovers

    Richard Branson
    Phillius Fogg
    John wayne Gacy
    The clown from IT (pennywise)

    Who also happen to be child murderers, bar one.
    Can you guess which?

    • Mnc@ – I will guess Branson – his pickle is shit and his flight attendants are muslim f**gots!
      Shifty no good fkin hippy..

  22. My balloons with “Refugees welcome – in their own fucking Countries” did not pass muster either! (Filling them with piss was a stroke of genius IMO – should have seen all the sad faces when they began popping them! 😀).
    I imagine the nazis of Brent Council would have been better deployed looking out for sweaty, nervous brown looking types carrying rucksacks..
    I would love these fuckers to try a stunt like this at Elland Road.

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