Cable Cunts

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A hole in the ground cunting for the firms causing chaos on the local roads by digging them up to lay “super fast” broadband cables.

Round here the fuckers are everywhere. This morning I couldn’t get out of the end of my road for cars queuing across the access while the roadworks were on traffic lights. Then when I came back I couldn’t turn in because of the queue.

All over town the roads are being dug up, roads closed and diverted, even roundabouts sealed off the cunts to dig the road up. It’s a shitfest.

I wouldn’t mind but I tried to go fibre but they can’t get the cables to the master socket without routing it around the door frames and skirting boards and then siting the router in the middle of my kitchen floor, so fuck ’em.

On the plus, since all my neighbours went on fibre, my speed on copper has doubled, but I digress.

Is the chaos these cunts are causing really worth all the hype and bullshit that goes with it, never the traffic chaos? I don’t think so.

Cable cunts. Fuxk ’em…

Nominated by: Dioclese

35 thoughts on “Cable Cunts”

    • Super fast cable which enter your house through copper thus losing all their speed.

      480k per house to lay the cables for the Scottish Islands, fucking tax payers money pissed away by morons.

      Don’t forget shepherd every cunt across the channel you can to thank the taxpayer and give out houses for free and bomb all the citizens who paid the tax.

      Fucking Liberties of the Government.

  2. Remember when every road in Britain was dug up for the cable for TV, so we could all watch that lesbian tart De Generis holding forth twice a day, or a Yankie make over show, because there wasn’t enough home grown shit on the BBC/ITV/Channel 4/5 ?. Some of those hastily reassembled roads still show the scars twenty years later. The road next to mine is appalling, the roots of 100 year old trees and the amateur repairs have made the road a minefield – in winter almost impossible to use.

    The fibre crap is just another cheek of the same arse. What’s wrong with standard speed broadband ?- Pornhub works just as well on “ordinary” internet. THe soapy tit wanks are just as smooth without “super broadband” and cheaper per month.I suppose it is so Costa Coffee toting wankers can soft soap their bosses .10 seconds quicker while working from home.

    • I thought ‘laying cable’ was some theatrical term.

      “Hello darling! Sir Larry will be right with you.
      He’s in his dressing room laying cable with boyfriend”.
      😂

      • I thought it was having a dump and the subsequent brown trout was all in one, unsnipped piece.

      • I think that you are correct.

        Laying a cable is a satisfying shit where the pleasing shaped turd enters the water like an otter from a riverbank.

        The opposite of ‘crop spraying’.

        You’re welcome.

      • A “Brown Trout”-entering the pan, without so much as a ripple, on the surface of the water! Like Tom Daley, who I am sure, has Olympic skills in such matters😉”

    • The masses watch Gogglebox. These cunts are beyond cattle. Amoeba have consistently beaten most English people in the I.Q race.

  3. Same round here. It’s all part of the plan to make sure we work from home more, presumably to save the planet.

    • Exactly. We won’t be needing roads in Jellyfish’s wind powered utopia.
      But that’s only half of it LC, the other half is so the stasi, er government, can spy on everyone every moment of everyday at high speed to calculate the social credit scores.

  4. Road works generally are
    1 needed
    2 carried out by morons who spend all day fingering their arses.
    They often spend months repairing a 100 m piece or tarmac for it to be dug up by yup more cunts laying cables or pipes Why can’t they talk to each other. Fuck em. I live in the sticks and used portable WiFi. It’s shit but I can drive about at least. Cunts.

  6. I recall 10 years ago, Virgin Media closing off our road for a period of 3 weeks while they laid fibre optic cable.

    Took them 5 weeks!

    2 months after they fucked off, British Gas popped letters through our doors to tell us our road would be closed for 2 weeks while they did some repairs to existing pipework,

    They arrived 3 days late but finished on time.

    A year later Severn Trent Water popped leaflets through our doors… blah blah 2 weeks.

    They arrived on time and fucked off after only a week.

    So in the space of 12 months 3 cunts came along and dug up the same stretch of road, and by the time Severn Bent had finished, along with a hot summer and cold winter, the road looked liked the sort of thing more suited for motor rallying!

  7. Same here.
    A stretch of road near me is dug up on an annual basis by cadent.
    I might ask them when shall I expect them in 2022, 2023, 2024, etc.

    • Only once a year?
      You lucky cunt, the same spot on a crossroads by us gets dug up once a fucking month. If it’s not for cable, it’s for gas or electricity or the sewer.

      • Clearly joined up thinking is a miss with all these utility providers.
        Not to mention that you never see anybody on site.
        If you do see them, they are busy browsing on their phone.
        Obviously for business purposes to download plans of what they are fixing.
        They can’t be looking at PornHub, can they??!!

  8. Wasn’t this nationwide roll-out of super fast broadband, one of Boris the Blades manifesto pledges?
    All part of this “levelling up” agenda?

    To wit:
    “ Snort! Cackle! Crikes! It’s been a jolly difficult time for us all! We have all had to make sacrifices. Carrie and I have only taken 3 holidays this year-snort! Snort! Burble!”

    “But make no mistake, snort, snort, this cunt-serve-ative government is committed to “levelling-up” this nation! Snort! Burble! Snurk!”

    “From Lands end-to Johnnies-goats! Ha ha!Cackle! From Pembrokeshire to Great Yarmouth, snort! From Liverpool to Lincolnshire and from Work-ing-ton, till the work is done! Cackle! Snort! Oink! Snort!-levelling up!!”

    “But what does this mean for the average man (and women) on the street? It means that despite being unable to own or drive a car anymore, despite being unable to heat your house above 10 degrees c, despite being unable to see your families, despite being unable to go out after dark, because of all the illegal immi, I mean, newly arrived citizens-despite this, we will all of us, snort! Chortle!-be able to access those funny cat videos on YouTube, at speed up to four times faster than now! Snort! Hic! Snuck! Snuck! Snort!”

    Cunts👎
    🤔

    • talking of immo cunts, what’s the betting that the “hospital bombers” are mozzers and “recently arrived”?

    • Spot on CG, it is because it’s all part of the great reset where everyone is imprisoned in their own homes but fed a diet of banal crap to prevent them realizing it. Think ‘The Matrix’.

      And ask youself how Big Brother istltalled the telescreens in 1984.

  9. Digging holes in the road is one of the best job creation schemes ever. One bloke to dig the hole, four others to watch.

  11. Ah yes, such fond memories of the main road from Bowness-on-Windermere, to Windermere town, being dug up, regular as fucking clockwork, Easter weekend, every year!

    I mean, why would you not take advantage of the quieter roads at the end of February, to use up the road maintenance budget?
    It makes perfect sense to choose the weekend that half a million cunts are going to decend on a town with 300 parking spaces🤔

    Stupid cunts👎

  15. as a trade ( job ) I provide equipment to the building industry, from honest SAM extensions, to independent fibre optic companies.
    Apart from ploughs and trenchers I also do trench less mole systems, that avoid road closures and trenches funny enough.
    The last couple of years has seen the closure of the village that I work in as High speed fibre was installed under the road surface, but they could have moved to one side and run it through the verge.
    so no idea why the fuck they do this

    • Evening Lord Benny-read your supermarket parking thread recently. Have you sorted out your problems?

  16. Where I live, they ran it under the footpath, crossing the road straight over where needed.
    No prior warning, just put barriers up, trapping cars on their owners drives, set of temporary traffic lights outside my house, so pedestrians could walk in the road and no family could park on my drive when visiting.
    They left the footpaths in a right mess, even months later they still look terrible.
    Utter, utter cunts.

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