Fireworks, and the cunts that use them

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Fireworks and cunts with fireworks are treble cunts, it’s twenty to twelve Friday night and some cockwombles has decided to light fireworks, what an absolute cunt, this fucking cockwomble is probably on benefits as well,.

Honestly how much of a cunt do you have to be to start setting off fireworks at this time of night? I hope the fuck knuckle ends up with one of those stag horn kidney stones and the have to pull it out through his cock, I bet he sets off fireworks in the daytime as well, what a retarded cunt, its a shame he didn’t have one blow up in his face, that I would have enjoyed.

Anyway I think there’s absolutely no point in worrying about emissions and air quality while fireworks are still around, ban the fuckers, there all from fucking China anyway.

The build up to bonfire night for a week and the week after are bad enough, ban the bastards, so cunts who are as thick as gorilla shit can’t get them, job done… I would imagine its quieter in Kabul tonight .. Cunt

Nominated by: Fuglyucker

54 thoughts on “Fireworks, and the cunts that use them”

  1. And almost time for fucking Diwali. Also, the mozzers like setting them off for their shit festivals as well. As a lad, it was sale or return by the 5th. Nov – now the cunting things are going off all year round. Maybe it reminds them of Kabul.

    • Has there ever been a bigger waste of money than buying a box of fireworks?
      Almost literally a damp squib.

    • I hate fireworks.
      They are for bumders and retards.
      They terrify my dog and im always happy to see when some feral little spastic has had his fingers blown off.
      If your into fireworks past the age of 8yrs old then something is deeply gay about you.

      • I imagine Fat Reg uses them to announce everyday occurrences with a flamboyant fireworks display. New wig, sparklers with David, all clear Aids test, catherine wheel with the kids, buying new gerbils, Fourth of July.

      • Hi MNC just adding my bit as your comment is poetry to someone who hates fireworks as well. They are a curse and most likely produced in the very arse of Satan. They drive one of my dogs to a state akin to total mental break down only dosing him with Diazapam helps. They drive me and the wife to distraction they are a public fucking nuisance that should have been banned years ago. Like you I chuckle at the thought of some fuckwit loosing half a hand or head I dearly hope that the arsehole launched rocket becomes more popular and in so doing fry the bollocks of the cunts so they cannot breed more cunts. Fireworks fuck of.

      • Evening Black Biscuits,
        As well as scaring pets to death,
        They scare wildlife and effect ex military with PTSD.
        Someone told me in Italy only fireworks that are silent are sold.
        Common sense!
        So never happen here.
        I hate the things and regularly sign petitions calling for them to be banned.
        Only way theyd be banned is if someone said they were racist.

  2. The yoof of today were never subjected to the late night public information films we watched as nippers.
    Scarred the fucking shit out of me!!!
    I have never since so much as touched a sparkler, climbed a pylon nor ventured anywhere near any creepy looking ponds 😧

  3. My dog and cats cower in fear when this shit happens on New Years Eve and July 4th. The next morning other dogs that freaked out and escaped are out and about as well. Fireworks are illegal but nothing is enforced. I think you could set them off in front of a cop and they wouldn’t give a shit.

  4. An interesting snippet.

    Drug dealers often advertise a new delivery by letting off fireworks.

    They are cheaper than burner mobiles, and just as effective. They are also virtually untraceable.

  5. Great cunting. You’ve got to be a total fucking moron to want to set money alight, scare pets and piss of your neighbours.

    It’s not the Middle Ages is it? But still a little bit of gunpowder in a cardboard tube is as good as an orgasm to the cunts.

    “It go bang, huh huh, ugh.”

    Cunts

  6. Swimming against the current apparently, but I reckon that a splendid, well-organised display at a country park is still a delightful thing.
    At least we can all agree we’d like to see a modern equivalent of the reason behind the 5th November.
    Not to physically blow up parliament as it’s a magnificent old building, but to murder every single politician (Sarin gas, maybe?) is still worthy and noble.
    Death to the MP’s!
    Traitors all.

    • I like the tradition in Lewes on Bonfire Night with the processions and the effigies of cunts of the day who are burned on a massive bonfire. I seem to remember they had David Cameron with a pig one year. Definitely on my places to visit.

      • Yes the good people of Lewes put on a really good show. Bin Laden sitting on a toilet one year they also had pikey caravan with family but even then the woke stirred and that one was not burnt in public. Think they had been having some hassle with pikeys

    • A few miles from me a farm organises silent fireworks for kids. We take our autistic son every year.

      He loves the colours but hates the bangs of traditional fireworks so this works well for us.

    • GCHQ are interested.

      Oh wait, they’re all taking a diversity course in Cardiff then going the pub to laugh it off.

  7. Also on Bonfire Night, and a fucking week either side, I have to sleep downstairs, whilst my terrified dog cowers. I could cope if it was 1 night, but it isn’t.
    Ban the sale of fireworks to the general public totally.

  8. I was out and about one morning and I saw this cunt letting off fireworks in his front garden. Only thing was, it was an overcast October morning and the fireworks could be heard, but not seen. I asked this bloke why he was letting the things off in the morning, and he replied in a thick Irish accent, ‘It’s dem, der kids. Thi won’t wait’ as two scruffy looking brats looked on at a grey sky. So, this Motorway Mick was letting fireworks off to appease his idiot offspring even though they couldn’t see them? Thick as pigshit fucking Tinkers and complete cunts.

  9. Mrs CuntyMorts familiar literally shits herself in fright with these twats setting off fireworks. If they are that keen why don’t the local fuzz stick a thunderflash up their arses. If they don’t grimace then they can have half a dozen. The cunts.. Otherwise a neighbourhood shoeing.

  10. There’s some selfish cunt local to me who waits until midnight, or later, on Nov 5th before launching the loudest flash-bangs ever. I have fond images of it igniting early and blasting him to kingdom-come.

  11. The Swiss and the Germans go mental over fireworks – August 1st, National Day in CH, and New Year’s Eve in Krautland. However, they are much more responsible about timing, and don’t take the piss.
    GB is just a joke, like it sadly is for so many things…

    • The Danes go even more mental on New Year’s Eve. Nothing organised. Everyone seems to buy a shed load and chuck them around for hours on end. Fucking mayhem and totally brilliant in an edgy sort of way.

      • The Dutch fill any container they can get their mitts on, fill it with carbide and water, then lob a light in.
        Mental??

      • Biscuit tin containing water and one end of a length of drainpipe. Heave in some carbide. Wait a bit.
        Flick burning match at other end: your Komodo Cannon fires.

  12. We should ban them one year and chuck the leftover stock underneath the palace of cuntminster. Any party that pledges that will win in a landslide for sure!

  13. Judging by the comments and indeed the nom it doesn’t seem to be the actual fireworks but more the bangs.
    As a kid we always enjoyed fireworks but bangers were never part of a display. Nowadays every fucking thing goes bang, which frightens the shit out of animals and stops people sleeping.
    Nowt wrong with a firework display, just stop the bangs.
    I live surrounded by different denominations so its a fucking celebration every other day. cunts

    • I should think the wokies will denounce Guy Fawkes as white supremacist soon and cancel it altogether, and fighting climate change with no bonfires either of course.

  14. I notice that the Carpet Camel Cunts let their fireworks off during daylight hours to celebrate their savage yet also cretinous religious events.

    Says it all about the thick fuckers really.

    • They are savages. They have no idea, nor do they care of the bother it causes other people, or the fear they cause to the local wildlife. The latter of which is obvious given how they treat animals in back in the sand countries of which they hail from. Third world beasts belong in the third world.

  15. Obsessed by fireworks as a kid, and an all-round pyromaniac. Finally cured by helping light a proper display for a local toff’s birthday – somehow there were no more worlds to conquer. Big bangs at dead of night now annoy me intensely. But what really grinds my shit are those bloody Chinese multishot things which keep on banging for ten minutes – or so it seems. Or banging and whistling. Or banging and fizzing. Count them – you know there are another 39 after Lol Cunthook over the road has lit the fuse on the first one.

    Cunts, indeed.

  16. It’s comical how fireworks are still legal in an age where magic mushrooms are Class A drugs that can get you up to seven years in prison with Big Bubba as a cellmate. Can’t have people encountering the Overmind of Earth, but feel free to terrify neighbours, cats, dogs, set fire to sheds, washing line, blind people, etc. Last year was mental all through November and December it was like Dresden some nights as I have many Chongers round me and act like they invented the fucking things… oh wait, they did. Cunts.

  17. When it comes to cunts and fireworks you can’t beat Suckdick’s £1 million display last New Year. The black power salute and the EU flag lit up in the sky and all shown live for the nation by his pals at the BBC.
    The little weasel has just spent even more of our money on renting out one of those big neon advertising displays down the west end. In great big flashing red letters it says “Welcome Refugees.”
    Some little knob letting off bangers isn’t in the same universe of cuntishness as this fucking bastard.

  18. Bonfire night is basically the celebration of an establishment victory over the peasants.

  19. I used to love fireworks.

    Throw a jumping jack through some old bat’s letterbox.

    Or lob a banger down some cunt’s entry.

    Hide in a ginnel. Snap the stick of a rocket, light it and send it toward some innocent bystanders near the village shops.

    All cuntish behaviour which I now disapprove of.

    Now I’m just a miserable old bastard who moans about the yoof of today misusing fireworks.

    The hypocrisy.

  20. There are shops usually called “party shops” that sell fireworks virtually all year round. That OUGHT to be illegal. knew of one that was set up in an old greengrocers shop in East London (I have to go slumming from time to time). That shop, believe it or not, was mainly made of wood. I will leave you to guess the hue of the owner. It was one of those shops that started as a stall type thing and built around. I doubt it bothered the police or Trading Standards.

    The fear that it instills in dogs and cats is terrible both for them and for their owners. Again there ought to be some law around animal cruelty, especially if some chave sets them off for their birthday in June, knowing their neighbours have a pet dog or cat.

    Finally, imagine if they were still making those COI films today. “Children – if you are going to be in Brighton in the last week of September, don’t go to the Reverend Mandelson’s firework party, even if his nice churchwarden Mr Russell-Moyle is going to be there. It might result in a rocket in your anus, with guest vicar Chris Bryant at the organ to drown out the screams”. You have been warned. Fireworks and b enders – a fatal combination.”

  21. Fireworks are enjoyed by plebeians, peasants and carpet pilots – all of which I despise. Loud bangs and visual displays enjoyed by the miscreants and mentally challenged, feared by the quality wildlife. This is why they should be banned.

  22. Fireworks are entertaining for young children and the underclass, who fire them off in McDonalds car parks. Adults who enjoy them are the type to find late night television a bit too abstract.

    Loud and stupid entertainment for loud and stupid people.

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