Paralympian Sarah “Hand Job” Storey

Posted on by

An Olympic CUNTING for “Dame” Sarah Storey.

She is being lauded as the greatest G.B. Paralympian. It is unfortunate her left hand didn’t fully develop during her time in the womb (Jeremy Beadle syndrome) but every other part of her body is completely healthy and her obsession with training has made her super fit compared with the rest of the population.

It is completely unfair that she is allowed to compete against others with substantial, as opposed to minimal, disabilities. She started as a swimmer, where a missing hand would be a slight disadvantage, then decided to blag it as a disabled cyclist.

How in the names of Beelzebub and Flabbott can a missing hand be considered to qualify anyone for Paralympic Cycling? She should be competing against fully able bodied athletes, as she is in fact the same as them.

The duplicitous Cunt

News Link

Nominated by: Sir Cuntalot

And on the topic of Paralympians, this from Cuntstable Cuntbubble

Not so much a cunting as an expression of puzzlement.

A local girl, as seen on Turnip TV. (Look North, E Riding & Lincs) has got gold medals for Dressage at the Paralympics. I see no visible impairment. She walks, sees and moves normally. So why the paralympics? I could understand it if the horse had a wooden leg. But it didnt. Surely sitting on a gently dancing horse is not something easily impaired?
I have respect for people whose impairment obviously is a disability. We also saw a young man from Hull who won a Judo gold. He is blind so well done to him. Respect. There is also Hannah Cockcroft, paralysed legs but by fuck she can motor. Wonderful.
But the classifications of disability are baffling and often dont seem to be an impairment to the discipline.

Does anyfucker understand them?

62 thoughts on “Paralympian Sarah “Hand Job” Storey”

  2. Nobody watches this shite, but they would if I was in charge of the events.

    I’d start with the spacca chariot diving from the 10 metre board.

    Then, the 100 metres on the track. Instead of them being in chariots, I’d have them tipped out of them as the start gun fires, and the first to crawl/roll to the finish line wins. Blind boxing would be ace to watch.

    They’ve just not thought this out properly like I have, obviously.

  3. Good on her, she is British and wins medals. You are not telling me foreigners do not push it , are you??

    • What, do you mean she’s actually BRITISH!!???

      Fucking hell, something wrong there!

      Surely she must be part Eastern bloc, part Asian, part Canadian, part Inuit, with a Mexican dad, Thai mother and living in Trinidad!

      Now that’s a Brit (if the MSM are to be believed)

      • The new media poster girl Emma Radacanu, British teenage tennis sensation, she is articulate, attractive and has just reached the US open final, first British woman for a zillion years to get to a grand slam final, 18 years old (yes I would).

        Her background, Born in Canada, Daddy is Romanian, Mummy is a Chink 😂😂😂

      • Agreed. She wears shorts under her short tennis skirt though, the fucking spoilsport.

        Come on Emma, do the lads back home a favour and wear a g-string instead. Good for morale. You know it makes sense.

        And yes, I would make a proper mess of it too.

      • Looking at her parentage she’s obviously not British.
        As the late great Bernard Manning said “just because a dog is born in a stable doesn’t mean it’s a horse”

      • Yes RTC, mummy and Daddy are both in finance and young Emma has been her since the age of two.
        If others like this family were the vast majority of foreign imports then the UK would be fine sadly too many of the foreign cunts here are scumbags 🤨

      • @Cuntybollocks, the final is live on Channel 4 this evening 👍

        I think the occasion deserves a little g string under the little tennis skirt 😉

  5. I’m left handed. Can I claim to be “disabled” as I don’t like running round a track anti-clockwise. Therefore, can I also claim discrimination and insist I run round the track clockwise instead?

    Perhaps also a new event should be introduced at the Paralympics in order to broaden/diversify towards fat cunts (who could also argue they’re disabled and therefore discriminated against). The 100 metre chiggun, burger & fries sprint, with 600 pound fat cunts chasing a Deliveroo bloke on a push bike with a box full of KFCs and Big Macs!

    Everyone’s a winner!

  6. I’m constantly puzzled at how they decide who can compete against who at the spazzy Olympics.
    It seems completely arbitrary, or perhaps nepotism and bribery have crept in. So we can have quadriplegics competing against someone with a splinter in his finger.
    In any event, (pun intended), the only sport I watch in the able bodied Olympics is beach volleyball, so I don’t watch any of the raspberry crap.
    I was well pissed off with the amount of beach volleyball coverage too. About fifteen minutes every three days, whilst the programmers thought I might like to watch hours on end of silly cunts running round in circles.

    • I watched the beach volleyball and there was a sprained wrist in the first game.
      Doctor said I’ll be ok soon.

    • I seem to recall a recent nom where the Norwegian (?) volleyball team refused to wear the standard skimpy attire so commonly found in wimminz beach volleyball.

      They said they wanted to “desexualize” the stereotypical and sexist imagery. Which means come the next Olympics they’ll all be running around in boiler suits!

      • ….and donkey jackets, and Doc Marten boots.
        Oh well, there’s still the winter Olympics. There’s a lot of danger in those events which genuinely make it exciting to watch.

      • Amen, Eurosport covers the northern downhill skiing series, clattering down icy slopes on stiff razor blades at 70 mph takes big balls and that’s just the wimminz. Skill guts and courage love it.

        And the paraplegic downhill skiers on their sit down mono skis that’s full-on courage as well

      • Yeah I put that up Techo.
        They played in something resembling your granny’s support knickers.
        Fucking spoilsports. I’d make ’em play in the buff, as I believe the original Olympians did.

  8. Do they have rules on the chariots now?

    I remember when the spaccalympics was a newish thing. They had some race on (on the track) and the commentator was going nuts over some cunt winning. It may even have been that Tanni Grey Thompson cunt, but my memory is hazy.

    Anyway, nobody said anything about her having this carbon fibre specially designed racing chariot, designed by eggheads in wind tunnels and all sorts; while some of the African raspberries were in the sort of chariot you’d find in the corridors of a 1960s NHS hospital corridor. Hardly seems fair to me.

    Loads of the cunts lie about the severity of their spacciness too in order to be more likely to win. It’s a bit of a farce all round due to this.

  9. Good nom. Most ‘Olympians’ seem to be dyslexic mongs. It doesn’t seem to impede their endless attention seeking and witless gurning for the cameras.

    Good morning, everyone,

  10. Sarah used to be a secretary,
    Known for her ability at short hand.

    I know a woman who does show jumping, blind in one eye partially sighted in the other,
    Brave as fuck.
    As quite a few Paralympic athletes are.
    But having a small hands not much of a hindrance to sport!
    Especially when competing against someone whos basically the equivalent of a beanbag with a head.

  11. She’d win a gold in anal f*sting, if that was an olympic discipline.

    Oh, silly me. It is new on the agenda for the Paralympics 2024.

      • Yes, news just in. Tom Daley has offered to rent his arseh*le for the event.

        It is going to be a timed sport.
        Measured by pulling Tom’s tiny trunks down and inserting your arm to a depth of eighteen inches.

        All this is going to be done whilst Tom knits a pullover for his son.
        Quite impressive.

  12. Can’t we find an event in the Paralympics for our favourite “How dare you!” spacca and total bore, Greta Thunderbollocks?

  14. What a heartless fucking bunch….of course she’s disabled…it can’t be easy ringing the little bell on your pushbike just as you ride into some old Granny who had the temerity to be walking along the pavement if you’ve only got one hand…or flicking the v-sign at frustrated motorists who shout abuse after being stuck behind you for 2 miles.

    Jeremy Vine is a Cunt.

    • Morning Mr F, how goes it?
      With that nausea-inducing stump, Sarah Storey’d be guest of honour at a Barrymore pool party apart from having the incorrect sort of genitals.
      Which leads to my next thought: one of her vaginal lips is also deformed and looks like a fleshy Quaver.

      • Morning,Mr. Cunt-Engine.

        It’s the midget swimmer,Elly Simmons that angers me…what difference does being a runt make when you’re in the pool?…it’s not like she’s a Dark-Key or something…now that I would like to see..a Sooty pygmy thrashing about in the deep end…the “deep end” being Dame Elton’s tuba shaped shit-shute.

      • Yes, and I thought it would have tasted like the old prawn variety of Quavers.

        Instead it had the mixed flavour of the cheese and salt and vinegar variants.

        Very disappointing.

  15. If nowt else, at least it demonstrates equality that the spazmos are utterly cheating cunts, the same as their more able-bodied counterparts.
    I was planning to have a wank, but Sarah Storey’s spacco “hand” has made me as limp as an empty silk glove.
    I wonder if she can wiggle those Sugar Puff thingies that are sticking out of her stump? 🤢🤮

  16. She can run faster than me and run further than me, so why the fuck is she allowed to park next to the door at Asda ? And I’m not.

    • Bring back the Invacar!
      At least in the 70’s and early 80’s you knew that a rasberry was a rasberry but nowadays, thanks to Motability, they’ve got undeservedly nice cars, the mongy chancers.

  17. If there is ever an “Olympics” for deviant, head the balls the contributors of this worthy website would be well suited for entry. I for one would be proud to take part in the over 60’s urban stabathon gender neutral event as long as I could use a bow and my choice of broad head plus my trusty shaska.

  18. I wonder if she finds it grossly offensive if people offer her a round of applause at important events and gala evenings?

    Perhaps the audience should just wave one arm in the air in appreciation!

  19. George Formby has a great granddaughter?

    Can she play “When I’m cleanin’ Window’s” with that hand?
    🤔

      • Wotcha Thomas!

        Maybe she is like that “Dark Key” Bond villain with the stump-and has various titanium accessories?

        -potato peeler
        -pain brush
        -10” cock

        You know, useful attachments👍

  20. On a more serious note:

    I once had a fascinating conversation with a lady who was genuinely disabled and a para-Olympian.

    She designed the first ski chair, which was adopted internationally, as well as representing Team GB in basketball.
    She had made the fatal mistake of criticising the governing bodies and speaking out against “corruption” and was subsequently ostracised by British Para-Olympic sport. The rotten fucking cunts👎

    I met her via a mutual friend, involved in disabled shooting sports.
    It was a very humbling experience-an incredibly proud, independent, disabled woman, with the heart of a lion, telling me her life story.
    She ended up sobbing her heart out as I gave her a hug😢

    Where there is money in sport, there are corrupt cunts!

    • “disabled shooting sports”?!
      Surely it’s a trifle unfair to hunt spastics with firearms?
      At least try to even the odds, make it a little more equitable by putting a stone in your sock and ditching the gun for, say, a catapult?!

      • Ha ha!
        Seriously though, some of the disabled shooting disciplines are astonishing-blind 10m target shooters-where the tones change when the rifle is perfectly on target. 👏👏👏

  21. I don’t bother with the Silent Hill Olympics…besides, all the so called “athletes” are too busy flogging cut price supermarkets or dodgy vitamin things on the TV.

    • How can they say one form of disability is equal to another? There’s always going to be one whose disability doesn’t affect their performance and the rest are also-rans before they even start.
      And how long do the powers-that-be think they’ll have to push this paralympic shit at us before we agree that it’s important and star to take an interest? The fact is, no-one’s bothered. People want to see the best athletes competing, not the worst. I’ve got asthma, would you like to see me run the hundred metres?

      • Agreed, but if they introduced the one handed furious wanking competition or dwarf tossing over baths of toxic sludge people may take an interest.

  22. The problem I have with paralympics is that the disabilities vary widely. With the “normal olympics” the abilities are very close and the goal is to have that slight edge that makes you better or best. This story is a prime example of how inclusion is bullshit. I would not want to be in a sport where someone with less leg than me wins because they have less drag in the water or weigh less in cycling for example.

  24. Paralympians with minimal impairments DON’T compete against those with substantial impairments though. That’s what the classification system is for. A swimmer with a missing or undeveloped hand is classified as “minimum qualifying” and competes against others in their same classification level.

    And paralympians ARE permitted to compete in able-bodied competitions, and many of them do. Oscar Pistorious (pre murder trial) won races against both disabled and able bodied runners, for example.

Comments are closed.