OFGEM (2) Powerless Fuckwits

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Apparently energy bills are due to rise by anything up to £139 this October, thanks to that useless government quango and supposed regulator, OFGEM.

Because of a huge increase in wholesale prices this year, energy suppliers fear their profits might be hit if OFGEM doesn’t raise their price cap for domestic energy.

The highly paid but hugely ineffectual CEO of OFSHITE said “The reason the price cap is going up is there has been a record increase in energy prices across the board, not just in gas and electricity but in petrol and diesel”

And the best advice he could give to those poor cunts already struggling to keep their heads above water?

“Shop around for the best tariffs!”

Well that’s alright then!

It’s not often you see big energy suppliers go bust, especially when they use the same old excuses about wholesale prices affecting their margins, and that the consumer must make up the difference, while at the same time announcing <record> profits!

But what does the government say about that other than sweet fuck all? “Market forces, innit, mate!”

And let’s not get started on the additional green taxes, fucking Boris and his cunt missus wants to hit the nation with. And for what? To save some cunt in Africa from breeding another 10 kids, or some two-faced cunt called Greta and her future?

So let’s all end up in poverty and freeze to death this winter, just so that M’Bongo’s family of 15 can have a nice life (probably in a nice hotel or 6-bed detached in Kent!)

OFGEM, like most other government regulators, is a waste of fucking space (and energy)

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-58106105

Nominated by Technocunt

65 thoughts on “OFGEM (2) Powerless Fuckwits”

  1. Good nomination👍

    To quote Cuntybollocks:

    “We are pissing in the wind anyway, because the bat munchers and wobbly heads won’t stop polluting anytime soon. There are billions of the cunts.

    The UK going full Greta, will have the same effect as taking a paracetamol for an axe stuck in your head.”

    The trouble is the cunts are going to make us all pay dearly for that paracetamol!

    They way they justify this sh1te gets on my wick. “Because of the increase in petrol & diesel prices”. I’ve been paying around £1.30 a litre for diesel since 2016 so what massive fucking increase is that then?! Why do they just tell it like it is: “we are your betters and we are going to fuck over your energy prices to pay for us to virtue signal about climate change. Get used to it plebs”. At least that would be honest.

    BTW don’t forget not to vote for the cunts at the next election:
    https://www.express.co.uk/news/politics/1476972/boris-johnson-election-polls-cop26-green-britain?utm_source=express_newsletter&utm_campaign=politics_morning_newsletter2&utm_medium=email&pure360.trackingid=51f08af0-362a-47af-b086-90434ef7fe2f

  2. Same shit here in Texas Called ERCOT (or ERCUNT as I call it) the big freeze we had in February exposed these fuckers for the giant incompetent crock of cunt that they are. Some heads rolled but I doubt much will change. Green is now my least favorite color (after black).

  3. Privatisation of essential services, when unregulated like it is in this country, is a shameful act of government. Why the fuck should I have to piss about switching suppliers and tying myself down to long term contracts to get the cheapest deal? Why aren’t these cunts forced to always give me the best deal regardless. Anyway, privatising life’s essentials in the interests of free market economics was always immoral in my opinion. Especially when the “regulator” only regulates in favour of the suppliers. They’d privatise the fucking oxygen supply if they could.

    • I believe that, sooner or later, gas and electricity will be nationalised.
      They manage OK like this in other countries.
      Fuel should be a public service, not something for greedy cunts to mug us off over.
      The jellyfish is a teracunt, and I’d like to flatten his missus with a steamroller

      • Absolutely. It’s often derided as socialist thinking, but I just think it’s fair. Maybe Boris would do something if we got Marcus Rashford on the case.

      • It used to be – then the silly cunts privatised it. Lots of the rich got richer – as usual.

      • Fuck me Techno!
        Another energy related nom.
        You just had your gas bill?
        If your expecting a whip round on here your going to have more luck at Glasgow Synagogue!!!
        Tight cunts to a man.

  4. Funny how prices never go down when the wholesale market goes into freefall, then you never even hear about it.

  5. The Jellyfish can stick his green bollocks up his arse the pussy whipped weak little tosser.
    Fuck him and all these tree hugging pooftahs.

    • FF nailed. He is a tosser. Good to know he is doing his bit by fathering Seven fucking kids. Got to laugh but I’m sick of fucking laughing . The only time these entitled cunts will ever give us mere mortals a fair deal is when they are looking at the noose. I doubt if there is enough quality hemp rope for our shitbags let alone all the other cunts that I’ve a mind to elevate.

  6. What is the fucking point of a fucking price cap if it can be fucking raised? Must be from the Zanny book ‘Economics for Greedy Corporate Cunts’.

  7. I opened the BBC link, what the fuck has a picture of an obviously well off umbongo family got to do with rising energy prices, the ones who will be hit by the price hike will be little old (white) ladies living on basic pension huddled up a a one bed flat.
    Fuel prices are high because we pay so much fucking duty on the stuff, it’s not the fuel that is expensive and the Greta type cunts want it taxed even higher.

    The energy cap is supposed to protect the ones who can’t for whatever reason have the ‘best deal’ with the direct debit discounts and those on prepayment meters.
    I don’t believe in the state (tax payer) paying for people to live but basics like gas and electric need to be protected, with food people have a choice to shop for the cheapest but it’s not the case with energy. I don’t give a fuck what Martin Lewis says about switching, it’s great if you have the buying power to do it, I can do it but little old ladies probably can’t.

    Everyone in the country uses electricity and millions use gas, keep it affordable for everyone.

    Cunts!

    • Those that survived the crap Covid 19 response will be finished off by OFGEM. Cunts.

      • If you remember back in the early days of ‘the virus’ fuel prices dropped dramatically because lockdown meant no one was travelling around.
        My local Tesco petrol was down to almost £1 per litre, it’s now gone to almost £1.30 😂

      • I remember wholesale oil prices going negative (EG wholesalers were paid to take the stuff) and the lowest the domestic heating oil market dropped was 20p litre. Still filled up though (it’s back up to around 43p/L now)👍

      • I do, Sick. Cheap fuel with nowhere to go!

        Last year/winter old ladies died of isolation/loneliness, even those with families suffered appallingly due to lockdowns – unable to see their oved ones. To have to cope with cold too will be terrible. I fucking hate the Government. Useless cunts.

  8. I’m starting to slightly fall in love with Princess Nut Nut. How cute she is here-

    https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2021/08/14/pregnant-carrie-johnson-feeling-great-second-vaccination-dose/

    She coukd be surplanting Greta in my affections.

    Yes they’re right. Build back greener. It is the way to go. I mean all jobs now are made up jobs. Lets make loads of made up made up green jobs.
    And
    What a twat Dominic Cummings has turned out to be. Revealing the most private of information. I’m glad she won out over him.

    The Green Revolution has already started. Those countries that ignore it will be left behind. It is far- seeing of Boris to go full tilt for it.

    • Fuck me? There was more than one of him?!! Bloody Germans.

      I have no idea who the fuck they are so just said them – DA

  10. How about removing ruinously expensive “ Green subsidies” from our bills. Llike HS2 they are ways to symphon off billions of tax payers money into the pockets of Tory party donors. I’m a Conservative. These cunts are corrupt crony capitalist cunts.

  11. So this is another stab in the back by the Elitist Build Back Better Cunts

    No idea what the current score is but it must be something like The Rich “We Know Better” Cunts 5: Ordinary Plebs 0

    • Oh and getting back to my original point in my nom – the gutless government regulator, OFGEM.

      I can’t think of any similar state regulator that seems to work in favour of the majority. And then of course there’s the Office for Budget Responsibility

      This is supposedly an independent economic and fiscal watchdogs oversee and scrutinise government expenditure!

      They find anomalies and gross government over-spending in Government Departments and Capital Projects; the government just shrug their shoulders and ignore them!

      An oxymoron if ever there was one because they’re doing a pretty shit job in all 11 years of their lousy existence.

  12. Shop around for the beat tariff?

    I currently have my gas with British Gas and my electric with Eon. Realise I am probably paying more but that’s how it is.

    A while back I decided to do the maths and see how much I would save if I put both gas and electric with the one provider.

    Using the figures on the statements over the previous 2 years, on a total combined amount of around £1,700 for both gas and electric, there was less than £1 difference between the top 4 providers.

    The providers all charge roughly the same anyway and the CEO of OFGEM fucking knows it, and he is a fucking cunt for suggesting that customers have a choice. In the overall scheme of things they don’t.

    Cunt.

    • I did the same with roughly the same figures as yourself and came up with the same paltry saving. It’s not competition, it’s a fucking cartel.

  13. What boils my puss is that most energy companies are foreign owned and thanks to creative accountancy (perfectly legal) they don’t pay their fair share of tax.

    Privatisation was supposed to drive prices down as companies tried to be more competitive but now does the reverse.

    One company puts their prices up so every other fucking one does.

    “If you see Sid, tell him” he’s a total cunt.

  14. I used to work as a utilities broker – when wholesale prices come down they are either not passed onto the customer or a percentage is passed on, a considerable time later.
    Wholesale price rises? Immediate.
    Personally I believe it was a serious mistake privatising the rail system, utilities and BT – they all make serious money so why couldn’t they stay in public hands, make slightly less of a profit and hand over a serious sum to the Treasury annually – I do not believe in socialism but think it is sensible and a matter of national security when a Country retains its assets.

    • Glad to see we agree on that. Keeping the services essential to the State’s function under unitary State control would seem to be a no-brainer. Nothing to do with socialism, beyond being in the interests of the whole population. And, at least ideally, subject to democratic processes. Used to work pretty well, back when it was cheaper to go by rail than first-class, the long way round, by air…

    • I fully understand your feelings Vernon and I sympathise but I have to say be careful what you wish for. BT is the organisation on your list which grabs my attention. Older cunters like me (I’m seventy) will remember the days when BT was nationalised and not with affection. They did not bother to hide the fact that as far as they were concerned their only problem was these fucking customers. In the early eighties I worked for a company whose business was modems which at that time was still in it’s infancy. It was at a time when BT’s total monopoly on all communications was just starting to be removed by degrees under Maggie Thatcher’s regime. There was a period when if you wanted a data link you had to have a BT job for three months and after that you could go to a different supplier. We had numerous customer’s who had a BT link installed three months before it was required because they knew it would be as reliable as the weather and after that they could get away from BT. I worked alongside ex-BT engineers who left BT due to sheer mind-numbing boredom. Ten engineers would be parked in a small local exchange for a week because there was no work for them to do. The cost of this disguised unemployment turned up in your phone bill of course; no problem when you had a monopoly. If you wanted a phone installed at home you would be given a date literally months into the future and probably be put on a party line, i.e. you shared a line with the neighbours and you could listen in on each other’s conversations. The idea that you could walk into a shop and walk out with a working cellphone would have seemed completely outlandish. I could list lots more examples of this abuse of monopoly but I’ve already gone on too long. Forgive me.

      • Calls cost a fucking fortune, and you couldn’t switch your telephone off or unplug it when BT had a monopoly. Cunts.

        👍 Excellent post, Arfurbrain.

      • That was a very long time ago, and before every cunt had to walk around bumping into things because mobile networks.

        In any case, my alternative landline provider is using BT/ Openreach hardware, just like everyone else…little known fact, Openreach can come and cut your outside connection if it’s using the wrong cable. It did mine. Your line rental probably goes to Openreach, too. Same deal as Railtrack, IMO. Let your chums form a cartel to screw the profits, but we need the money machine to remain under some kind of control.

        Now, ye advocates of idyllic free market phones, have a look around for me, and find me a traditional (ie non-contract, non -monthly bundle) PAYG set up for an unsmart phone*. Oh, and a top-up card for a legacy Orange account. The cunts who absorbed them, EE, have just stopped doing them because “they’re reducing plastic use”. Are they fuck. They want a permanent line into my bank account, like everyone else.

        *While you’re at it, a smart phone which doesn’t have 300 unnecessary capabilities and forward everything you do to Google would be nice.

      • Wouldn’t disagree with most of your points Komodo; the present regime is far from perfect. However, my point is that the abuses went on year in, year out, because the service providers had no incentive to change. In fact the status quo was in their interest and I am sure that they would see the return of monopoly as the answer to their prayers. Also the real cost of gas and electricity amongst other things is significantly lower than it was before privatisation.
        Wholly agree about the unwanted gizmos not just on phones but everything else nowadays, e.g. cars, washing machines and “smart” televisions. Over recent years when my company car was replaced periodically I became accustomed to wading through the handbook to find out how to switch off infuriating gadgets which wanted to brake, steer, stop me taking bends at speeds of which it did not approve and give me random warnings of things I didn’t care about and some of which I never understood.
        Anyway, have you got the new bike and how is it?

      • @Arfurbrain – fair enough, the purpose of this place is to exchange POV’s and I’ll always accept yours if you accept mine. Yes, infuriating gadgets. Rapidly getting to the point where, without the very latest flashing pocketbox, you can’t even go to the toilet, or breathe. Just to be evil for a second, this would never have happened if the State, owning telecoms, had decreed that only bakelite table phones and landlines were allowed….

        Bike – thanks for asking, but no. Still on the Brazilian CB500F, as the guy who allegedly has the old V5 for the Tracer 700 won’t be back until tomorrow. New V5 application in post, but god knows when that will get processed…Embarrassed myself yesterday trying to overtake a white van. After my SV1000S it’s a bit of a learning curve! OTOH it does about twice as much to the gallon…

      • Of course I accept your point of view Komodo! As you say that’s why we are on here.
        Off to bed now. Good night one and all.

  15. Despite all the millions and millions spunked on “green” energy, it still only males up around 20% of our power demand,

    https://grid.iamkate.com

    Do they really think it will ever take over from hydrocarbons? Only a fucking tool woudl think that…..oh, hang on a minute…

  16. The only good thing about utility companies is that they aren’t sending out meter readers at the moment (great if you don’t have a Smart Meter)😉

  18. I hope it trebles.
    That plus the dinghy vermin might cause the revolution required to put this country back on it’s feet.
    The filthy cunts.

  20. Increases in domestic and commercial energy will also mean higher prices in the shops, which will only stoke inflation even more than what the Covid debt is doing.

    So again the Chancellor has got a lot of thinking to do: jump on OFGEM and reinforce the price cap back to what it was and let the energy suppliers fight it out in the market place. or ramp up interest rates to stem inflation but hit the housing and loan markets. Or he could just keep going with QE and let some other cunt sort out the economy when he is eventually replaced.

    Whatever he does it won’t be good for us!

    • What he will do is what he has always done, and previous chancellors have done; kick the can down the road and leave a successor to sort it out, by kicking the can further down the road. Then there will be a depression. Then there will be a war. And then we can all start again, or those that are left can.

      (K. O’Modo: Western Political Economy In A Nutshell. Warmonger and Doom, £35.)

      • May I suggest a slightly different name: “Western Political Economy In A Nut Nut”?

        Works in a lot of ways 🙂

  21. I used to work for BT, & the only good thing about that mares nest is it allowed me to retire at 55, with a cracking pension.

    Ta, Buzzby!

  22. And I refer to a previous comment in an earlier nom.

    How the fuck are planes going to get off the ground when they’re powered by electricity?

    • We won’t need planes, we’ll travel via teleportation. Like in Star Trek.

  23. But, but..the price rises are necessary to keep us all safe. There is a global environmental catastrophe going on that means we will all be dead within 10 years unless we fuck ourselves senseless with vegetables and buy more than 5 litres of soy latte every day. WAKE UP, YOU CUNTS. (Sorry if you were intimidated by the capitals but this is a worldwide crisis).

  25. Its just like when FCA had a rebrand from the FSA (Not to be confused with the Food Standards Agency – Although they would just give you about as much shit their bubbles from their mouth A.K.A the dirty smelling drug dealing kebab vans) the old guard still applies. My way or the highway sort of style. Fuck loyalty its all about the shareholders keep them happy.

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