Hot Weather (2)

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(MNC on holiday in Blackpool, perving as usual – Day Admin)

Hot weather.

I fuckin hate hot, humid weather.
Melting Tarmac, your balls stuck to your thigh, sweat trickling down your bumcrack.
Fat cunts in bikinis, queues for the ice cream van, flies, horse flies, fuckin salad.

Jesus, just shoot me,☹️

Nominated by: Miserable Northern cunt

84 thoughts on “Hot Weather (2)”

  3. 40 degrees here today in my little village. Nothing under 37 for the foreseeable future. Beers cold and cheap, pool is lovely, couldn’t be better.

    • Monday evening was windy.

      And a fucking hot wind at that.
      A bit like walking past the furnace in a steel works.

      Like Jaén, which is known to be the hottest place in Spain, it was a very pleasant 40 degrees.

      This type of weather sends the Scandinavians scurrying back to their home countries.

      And that’s a good thing.

      Have you noticed that at any night time temperatures above 16 degrees the weather forecasters in the UK describe it as ‘sticky’?

      That’s because the average lardy Brit starts sweating at those temperatures.

      Miserable cunts!

      • The other weekend, we had the terral wind. Completely overcast, well into the 40s and the wind felt like a fan oven. Don’t enjoy those but when the skies clear and it’s hot and dry,can’t beat it.
        16° overnight? That’s October😰
        Mid 20s at the mo.

      • Sid the sexist’s finest pickup line:

        ‘Ye doont sweat much for a fat lass!’

  4. One of the only things Mrs Stroker likes about England are the Summers.

    In the Yokohama area where her parents live it usually hovers around 40 degrees in the Summer and is also as humid as fuck. Have a shower and after drying with a towel you immediately need another shower.

    I struggle with anything there over about 27/28 degrees and stand out badly in the crowd as (by comparison to the Japanese) an overweight fat bloke with not a lot of hair and sweating buckets. As a result I probably smell as well.

    Never coped well with hot weather, but cant decide if given the choice between hot and cold weather. Both are cunts.

    • Evening Willie.

      I prefer hot weather to freezing my bollocks off. Apart from anything else, heating at Creampuff Manor costs a fucking fortune, not to mention getting stung for over £800 last winter after the boiler started playing silly buggers.

      Become a heating engineer. It’s a license to print money.

  5. The worrying part of this nomination is the balls stuck to the thighs thing.

    How far do they dangle for fucks sake?

    Invest in a sturdy pair of cotton underpants and stop moaning.

    Hot weather is lovely, you sweaty bastard.

      • I used to fancy Shirley Manson back in the 90s.

        She looked like she might have been down for whatever you suggested to her. Although in reality she was probably the sort that would give you an uppercut rather than anything else.

    • I remember in the 1980’s going with my late wife, my sister and her boyfriend to France to stay in a gite.

      One day we decided to hire some bikes and go cycling. I had decided to wear a pair of rather snazzy shorts, the sort that English cunts wear abroad.

      After a while we stopped and took a short break. With my leg resting on the pedal (which was at the top of the revolution), my sister happened to look down, and asked me what was sticking out of the bottom of my shorts.

      I was embarrassed and ashamed to say I hadn’t noticed but it was one of my testicles.

      • Christ alive, that’s practically an admission of incest! Preverted forka.

  8. This is despicable – I cannot see MNC suffer any more so I have decided to start a fund to get MNC a swimming pool!
    Just put cash in the box at Admin towers, my friendly ridgebacks will “assist” anyone having trouble locating wallets, purses etc – and FYI – I KNOW who took a shit in the last collection box, and which uneducated type wrote that rude note – “wanker” has an “E” in it I’ll have you know!
    Some people are just mean.. 😢

  9. 27C here on Seascale beach, but a lovely fresh breeze keeping everything fresh and comfortable.

    I don’t mind hot days or nights it’s the humidity that’s the real cunt. I used to commute to work on my ZX6 in either full leathers or textiles. Great in winter but fucking horrible on humid days, not helped with a snug fitting helmet, ho ho.

    At least this weather means hot totty adorned in tit teasing attire!

    • Sat here in shorts sulking in front of a industrial fan,
      The dogs conked out too.
      This weather is a disgrace.
      Fit for flies, lizards, boers, and cactuses.
      Give me a nice ground frost any day.

      • your right MNC, this is the perfect day for the “Boers” to conquer the cricket pitch in Kilgetty, while they’re in the clubhouse eating cucumber sandwiches and getting pissed up, now “mind the plestic, just having some painting done”!

      • ‘boers’
        You’ve lost me there? Are we talking Saarfff Africa or wild pigs?

    • Techno:
      Courtesy of the outlet pipes at Sellafield, you can get an all-year-round tan, on Seascale beach.
      😚

  10. After a hot day nothing like going to bed and rubbing your finger down the side of your cock and bum and rubbing it in the misses nose.

    • Reminds me of the fellow with a hare lip telling his mates he just fingered a girl.

      When they refuse to believe he displays a recently she-juiced digit saying “Mal Meninga!”

      (“Smell my finger”)

  11. So long as the Sun is shining I couldn’t give a hoot. More sunshine than winter, therefore hot summer beats dank overcast winter.

    Plus all the beautiful women come out of hibernation too. Schwing!

    • Yeah, bring on the hot weather. All those little crop tops and short skirts, fucking brilliant. Although it does make me look a bit gay….

  13. Summer’s a cunt, I’m presently enjoying a colder than usual New Holland winter, drinking half a carton of unrefrigerated stout a day, bliss. I might buy an air conditioner while they’re cheap before it gets stinking hot, g&t weather for 6 months.

    • Where’s the cheap air con units at? I need to get myself one of them but can’t stretch to the ones with box on outside of wall plus neighbours would be jealous and complain about noise or how it looks visual.

      I want cheap but not a QVC type fan mounted on a box you fill with ice cubes 🤣

  14. Could be worse. You could be on the German slip and slide at the minute. 1000 People missing, yet for us it’s a problem because more boat people.

  15. It can be fucking baking , I love it, hotter the better. As long as i’m near a pool a bar and scantily dressed Birds i’m happy

    • I’m not complaining either. The wife’s been walking around the house all day in nothing but a tiny pair of black panties. I love to sneak up behind her, stick my finger down the back and twang the elastic. Sad I know.

      • You’ll end up with another baby in no time. You’ll be like Rod Stewart. Behave!

  16. I’m in what appears to be the minority of cunters who absolutely hate this kind of weather. Partly because it is usually accompanied by humidity and partly because I’m one of those cunts who suffers from hayfever. Give me rain and overcast skies anytime.

  17. The things I hate about hot weather in this country are all connected to cunts in their back gardens.

    1 Endless bongo bongo music, all about da streets, da Pol-ice, me bitches and me shank innit? Never anything even half way decent just bongo bongo non stop.

    2 Fucking electric lawn mowers. How many times you gonna mow that lawn you cunt?

    3 Fucking electric hedge trimmers. More fucking noise as above.

    4 Fucking noisy electric saws. Why the fuck are you cutting up random bits of wood you wanker?

    5 Why the fuck are you spending the whole afternoon hammering nails into the random bits of wood you fucking arsehole?

    6 The B-B-Q! Fuck me, up to 2am shouting, laughing and, of course, the fucking bongo bongo music. Jesus fucking Christ Almighty!!!

    The bloke who invented headphones deserves a fucking knighthood. 🎧 I’m telling you.

    • No. 6 is the most activity exercised by the brainless self important british selfish cunts, chav pissed up ASDA FANS, and renting eurotrash families. I like the british sun, but these cunts ruin it, a nice cool dry windy day keeps these tossers inside, so I like them aswell.

  18. It certainly fetches a sweaty set of tourist mon.g cunts out round my way.
    None of them have the sense to drink scotch with lots of ice.
    Foolhardy I’ll warrant.

  19. Me and Mrs Norman love this sort of weather. The old lady wears these barely there shorts and she always tans well. This weather also always puts her in a romantic mood, so that’ll do me.

    It does bring out a lot of arseholes and cunts (Barbecues, der-chick-a-der music, knobheads shouting after being on shit lager all day, noisy screaming kids). But I still love a bit of sun. Takes me back to 1976.

    • 1976, I spent the summer in Chester with relatives.
      Melted roads, railway tracks fucked, cracking eggs on car bonet’s and watching them cook😚
      Best bits were tractor inner tubes in the river Dee, down Sandy Lane or days out to Talacre sands😀👍

      • School camp in Dorset. Water fight in shower block. Auld trout campsite owner came out to whinge, our physics teacher told her where to shove it.

  20. Hot weather is shit. Britain invented most of the stuff the world needs and uses because of our mild climate which is why nothing important has been invented from hot shite-holes like Africa, Australia, Greece, or Spain. If you need air-conditioning, you’re living somewhere unnatural.

    Anything under -10° is for Ivans or Canucks and anything over 26° is for lizards and cunts.

    • Quite right Captain……everything best is British, including the weather.
      Don’t like it….fuck off, don’t come back.

    • That’s very unkind of you. I may be a lizard, but I am completely integrated now.

    • I live in Canada these days – Southern Ontario. About the same lattitude as Corsica, so not exactly ‘northern’
      In summer it can get to 40C and in Winter -35C.
      No such thing as bad weather, just poor clothing choices.
      Humidity is a bit of a cunt, though.

  21. Have to say I’m with MNC there.
    Hot weather=open windows
    Open windows = (1) Flies, wasps and other arthropods inside
    (2) Loud shrieks from adjoining brats in their pool – to which you are obviously not going to be invited. Other swimming options occupied by multiple cunts, who are invisible the rest of the year.
    (3) The reek of charred flesh permeating the house as King Of The Hill next door produces inedibles for his hideous family, using Stone Age technology
    (4) Music you would rather you had never heard.

    Add to that the feeling of guilt that you are not outdoors enjoying the nice sunshine and bringing all the foregoing even closer to you, the paralysis on the roads as every cunt heads to the coast to be too hot in huge sweating crowds, and the absence of rain ensuring that the tomatoes have to be watered every ten minutes even as the lawn turns brown and expires.

    Oh, and if you are in or near the Highlands, midges. The proof that God really hates Scots.

    Hot weather is vastly overrated. And yet millions of cunts are getting wound up about being unable to experience even hotter weather in (insert region of Foreign here). Bloody idiots.

    • Midges and fruit flies are fucking cunts. The best way to get the bastards is a saucer of malt or apple cider vinegar, with a dash of fairy liquid and a pinch of sugar. The cunts can’t resist it and it drowns the little fuckers.

      Best fly killer is a spray called Tox. Kills all kinds of flying fucks stone dead. Including those bastard house flies.

      • My Executioner Pro has now done 4, maybe 5 years without a battery change. And I have long lost count of its victims. Carpet moths just get blown apart by the spark. Beats pulling wings off flies.

  22. Quite right,Mis…..baking heat may be enjoyable for those with an unacknowledged touch of the tarbrush in their family-tree but you and I are true Englishmen…admittedly you from one end of the social spectrum and I from the other but pure English blood courses through our veins untainted by a secret-sooty addition.

    • Hot weather is for foreign types and homosexuals Dick.
      Give me leaden grey skies with the hint of impending snow.
      Fresh, clean, manly.
      Maybe a sip from a hip flask?
      Oh the sap in that trees frozen making it explode,
      Lovely.
      https://pin.it/4cvpS7j

      • You are “Turner”, complete with moody grey skies and I claim my £5 Miserables moving voucher, when I get around to fucking moving🤔👍

  23. I wonder how the Ginger Prince is getting on with the relentless Californian sunshine? I bet he’s hiding indoors looking after the brats like the soyboy he is while his wife is all over their modest estate flashing her tits at the pool boy, the lawn boy, the Japanese gardners and assorted other flunkies.
    Fucking cuckold cunt.

    • Bet the cunts locked under the stairs like Harry fucking potter until the next Oprah interview or Netflix deal needs signed

      • She’s probably pouring over the scripts for ‘Pearl’ the new Netflix animated series about a young girl who gets inspired by meeting famous women in history.

        Thing is Meghan is Pearl. I mean Meghan means Pearl in Greek. So basically it an imagining of herself in the company of these great historical women of history.

        Yes she up there with them where she feels she ought to be (in her imagination)

        It is to be produced by David Furnish.

        It is hoped Elton will contribute a song or two.

    • California sunshine ,was a mind altering LSD trip
      It floated about in Amsterdam,the early to mid eighties
      Never had one though
      I decided to take the latest
      It was ying yang
      The notorious cunt of a cult trip, was a batch of insanity
      There’re were many imitations later, but never that one
      It fucked everyone that took it in that small time frame
      Years of recovery were involved to get back on track.

      • Triple dip blue planets, purple oms, mick jaggers, captain americas, microdots,.

        God I miss LSD. Haven’t seen it about for years.

  24. This weather has its good points. The amount of younger birds wearing next to frig all who have slithered pat my front garden today has done me the world of good.👍😍

    • Go out tonight and draw some words of graffiti on the pavement that will cause tomorrows passer bys to slow down giving more time for you to cop a good view.

      The harder it is to read / understand, the longer they will take 😉

      • Glue a few coins to the pavement so they bend over for you.

        I’m surprised I even thought if that?

  25. Totally endorse this nomination. I absolutely loathe hot weather, I nominated this same topic last year sometime. Brings out all the traffic, and the morons with their crap, thumping loud music. Just waiting for Bournemouth to be invaded again by thousands of cunts, leaving behind tons of their shit litter. Dirty selfish cunts.

  26. Love it, hotter the better!! Cutting the hedges today by hand, too lazy to getting the electric one out. Sweated like a cunt. More of the same tomorrow.

  27. What baffles me is these younger lads. Even in weather like this, they insist on having those massive beards that make them look like WG Grace or one of The Dubliners.
    I mean, why for fuck’s sake? Is it some sort of Generation Z hipster type bollocks?
    The look is far too ‘peaceful’ for my liking. I can’t understand today’s young ‘uns, being a grumpy old (ish) cunt.

    • As long as the young are as far removed from their daddies style
      Then there happy
      It’s a sons duty to undermine his teacher
      The slight problem currently is ,some sons And daughters are influenced .

  28. I saw some cunt jogging yesterday, mid afternoon.
    Silly cow.
    Excellent weather for Waxoyling.
    Good morning.

  29. Although I like this sort of weather, some of the cunts it brings out…

    Twats that stink the place out with barbecues. Knobheads who always shout to each other instead of talking quietly and properly. A tosser who has to ‘take over’ when there’s an outside barbecue and mouths off loudly to let every poor sod in the street know what he’s doing. An uncontrollable brat that sounds like a satanic squawking demon. Fumes from ‘Bud’ or some other shit brainrot lager. Totally crap ‘dance’ music (that ‘Lady, hear me to-night’ shite).

    Yeah, them cunts…😒

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