Hello? what my Nokia 3210 has been hacked and they’ve deleted my snake high score???
Cunters for your venom I give you these cunts who have nothing better to do than boil my piss with these wastes of my time.
Today in the shower, when Mrs CuntyMort informs me my phone is ringing. Fingerprint needed to operate, She bless her cant remember her own birth date. FFS
A look on who called me told me it was an awning company. When said twats are awarded an audience, they seem to get upset when I tell them to insert said goods up the tradesmans entrance.
Advice to above sales cunts, Don’t ring me, I’ll ring you if I want your shitty wares.
Nominated by: CuntyMort
A common call doing the rounds in the ‘HMRC tax evasion’ call, that sounds narrated by some Cholmondly Warner sounding chap from the 50s.
They then transfer you to some Bangladeshi phone wallah, who officiously attempts to Harvest all your personal data. My name is always given as Juan Kmiov, spelled out caringly with NATO phonetics. I love reading out the whole name when they struggle to pronounce it.
Cunts!
19
Its always best to nip it in the bud with phone mitherers early.
About every 3month I get a call from a company asking whos responsible for my business phones , its always a youngster,
Always scouse accent.
Just tell them to fuck off mithering.
Its a internationally understood statement.
Refuse to listen or let them finish a sentence.
14
Those cunts need nuking. The HMRC scam wankers call me regularly, when I can be bothered I answer, act scared and gullible, then unleash a torrent of abuse that would definitely get me moderated here.
8
Nuisance phone calls have given me endless pleasure over the years.
I never tire of making them.
Good morning.
19
If you get an Indian one just say you think they’re from Pakistan. And talk about how wonderful Pakistan is.
17
That’s a good one. Thanks! “Allahu akbar, you Hindu cunt!” ( and in the interests of balance, vice versa)
9
Too many of them are recorded messages these days…I used to enjoy getting into a slanging match with the Cunts. My particular favourite was when dealing with a Curry-Muncher type…I’d ask him/her if they were married to their cousin and did they have many handicapped children…as they digested this polite enquiry I’d follow up by asking if their Father had murdered their sister in a brutal honour-killing…finish them off by announcing,very matter-of-factly, that I had once shit myself after a particularly hot curry and was that why Gandhi wore a nappy.
I rarely got the answers to my questions…normally a stunned silence followed by the ring-tone.
27
Morning Dick
Morning all
You mention adult baby Gandhi and his wearing of pampers®?
While theres many things to despise about him,
The smell, his refusal to eat proper dinners, his racism,
The jesus sandals, his wifebeating like some asian wannabe Andy Capp,
Its the nappies I find most offensive.
Flagrant about his warped kinky fetish!
The 4eyed little cunt probably had a butt plug in too.
11
Sorry the nappies and his pacifism.
Unless the missus.
6
Funny as fuck caption to this DA, nuisance calls are, well how can I put this ? a fucking nuisance especially those that just hang up. You can have a little fun if someone speaks at the other end eg speak gibberish or lead them down the garden path..
5
These fuckers ring all the time in work, usually at least twice a day cunts….
Ello my name is fresh Pesh from Bangladesh masquerading as Peterrrr reference my company web site could use a boost or can i speak to the bill payer……No fuck off, dont try your shite scams on me cunts, fuck off…..
The only time i want to hear an Indian/ tikki takki on the phone is when im ordering a curry
8
I did have some robotic fucker ringing me to tell me my national insurance account had been suspended.
I thought that was an excellent idea as I’ve paid quite enough already.
Naturally after 3 seconds I told it to Fuck Off.
The cunt rang back on a slightly different number immediately!
Bare faced cheek.
I now employ Mrs Terry to answer my phone.
Perfect.
8
Recorded message about my tax or a cunt allegedly from Carphone Warehouse 😂
Tune in for the Boris show this afternoon, should be a blast 😂
4
Yep I get those Carphone Warehouse ones constantly. Always from a Kolkata sweat shop/call.centre.
All get told to.fuck off. I even look forward to.it nowadays
0
It’s not just nuisance calls, but the fucking phones themselves.
I have 2 of the bastards. One for work and one for personal use.
The whole point of having a personal phone was to keep in touch with people that I care about.
But I soon noticed that no fucker would take time to call me just for a chat.
Nobody would ring out of the blue to see how I was. Nobody would call because they hadn’t seen me for a while.
Perhaps it was because I am a cunt,
but I would call them because that’s what phones are for.
I finally gave up when I rang who I thought was a good friend and she told me that she couldn’t talk as Coronation Street was about to start.
I don’t use my personal phone much now.
12
After years of fun and annoyance we finally got a blocker at a £1 a month. Good investment.
Prior to that I would answer with Hello Murder team CSI here, did you know the victim? Did you meet him at the gay club? We have your number and you’ll be getting a call from us.
5
Used to go with the “what’s the difference between your Mother’s cunt and a bucket of stinking shit….The bucket”. Call guardian has put a stop to them now….Oh but the memories.
5
Outstanding way of dealing with nuisance calls! Legend.
1
At least you can have a bit of fun with ‘Mark’ from Mumbai and waste his time for a while. The pre-recorded ones from the likes of the ‘Internal’ (sic) Revenue telling you that a warrant’s out on you are a total cunts.
The worst of all are the ‘ghost’ ones when you answer and nobody’s there. Just had one of those about half an hour ago.
4
I used to get these calls every day, from ‘George’ or ‘Mary’ with thick asian accents. They mustn’t have liked me taking the piss because they started ringing early in the morning while I was still in bed. I asked BT to block all calls from abroad. Then they started again and when I contacted BT, I was told no, calls from abroad weren’t blocked, my calls to other countries had been stopped. But he would put it right. Next thing was I lost my caller ID. Rang BT again, this time I was told the last feller had changed my contract. News to me, I said. Did I want to make a complaint? No I said, I just want to get my caller ID back and not get any nuisance calls.
Last week I got a call from a woman who said she was from BT Openreach and when asked, admitted she was ringing from Lahore. I rang BT. Oh yes, he said, I see what’s happened, I’ve fixed it now. It’s been quiet since.
4
There’s videos on YouTube of people rootkitting these Indian scammers. They either infect their entire network with viruses or send them webcam pics of themselves.
3
I love it when they set up a ‘ghost account’, so that the scammer thinks they’re emptying the ‘victim”s account, when really the ‘victim’ is pissing in the scammer’s computer.
Try not to watch too many tho, they’re addictive.
2
I’m such a anti social cunt when I hear the phone stop ringing I get a instant sigh of relief. Like thank god it stopped ringing another cunt I don’t have to force myself to talk to
When my mother asked if anyone called my response is always yes and the stupid fucks won’t stop calling!, nuisance calls are the worst this time of year tho fuck ’em
2
My finest moment was with the accident call. I said I was in a horrific accident and lost a leg and severe head injuries resulting in short term memory loss. Then the fun begins because once they get a live one they pass you over to the next stage where you give details etc. 38 mins is my best keeping them on line. Every five minutes ask who they are and why they are calling. Also the other one is pretending to be a lonely cunt and it’s so nice to talk to someone and will you call again to be my friend?
I have a sad life sometimes
7
I just say ‘Oh, really?’ put the phone down (without hanging up) and carry on with my day as normal. They normally get the hint within a minute or two. Waste their time.
Although if I ever get cunts like kitchen fitters not stopping contacting me, I’d invite them around. Let them spend an hour buttering me up. Have them do measurements and estimates. I’ll make them think I’m going to order the biggest and most expensive package, and that my three brothers and five sisters are also keen after my recommendation.
And then, when the contracts come out to sign, I’ll tell them I’m just wasting their time, like they wasted mine by being cunts and annoying me in my own home, despite me telling them I’m not interested. Haven’t needed to do it yet, but if I need to I fucking will.
2
I can understand your frustration but it is the telephone canvassing department that will be making the nuisance calls, not the sales rep who is sent out to see you.
2
Oh, I know that.
It’s the only way these companies will learn.
1
I think we are winning. The Delhi scamming company previously let the phone give eight rings before giving up and moving on to the next sucker on the list. It’s down to seven now. I just let it ring.
1
I used to hate getting nuisance calls.
Lately this covid bullocks sometimes it’s nice just to talk to them. They get the hump with me if I tell them I don’t want to buy anything or I don’t want to give them my personal information and bank details.
2
It’s bad enough getting a call once from one of these cunts, but when they call you again from same number despite requesting they delete your information several times more in the weeks that follows is taking the piss. I now save the numbers under a scammer ID on my phone and take a different approach on repeat callers.
I answer them in n such a friendly manner and ask how they are today. It’s not long before I’m the cunts best friend. I then pump them for information establishing their name and that of their company and where they are ACTUALLY based. A chat about the weather establishes this.
Once I’ve extracted enough information to build a profile on them and do a bit of googling on the area surrounding their work place, I tell them I’m not interested and request that my details be removed from their system.
I then finally go Brian Mills on them and tell them that you for I ever get another call from their company including from any other company employee that I will hold them solely responsible and that Bob will be visiting building X on Street Y in Town Z at club sing time to deal with them at the end of their shift. If I get some mouthy cunt, I tell them I will get their parents / grandparents if I can’t get my hands on them. This has always put an end to calls from that company.
Having been through the mill bombarded with nuisance calls to which BT, Sky and even the involvement of my local police did not resolve, I finally had enough. Even when the cunts claimed I was recorded threatening them and they were calling the police I laugh my arse off and beg them to make that call.
Only once have I ever been contacted by the police who I also laughed at, quoting their own incident numbers of complaints I had made without resolve. I told them to fuck off and deal with these telesales cunts instead or try taking me to court and proving I’m the harraser and not the one harrassed. I never called them up and I wasn’t the one who didn’t take no for an answer and fail the request to delete my details.
Never heard fuck all from police since. I’m probably on a database, but who gives a shit.
1
In the days before caller-id, my cousins and I used to spend many a happy wet summer’s day phoning random people up. All so innocent really.
0
I’m would rather entertain kids having some harmless fun calling up asking to speak to Mr Walls than grown up cunts that do it in a hope to scam the gullible, vulnerable and often the elderly out of their hard earned savings.
Many people don’t realise that a lot of older people’s money was earned working in industrial manufacturing processes for decades where health and safety measures weren’t heard of.
Many of them now suffer as a result of things like dust & chemical exposure or manual handling. They worked harder & took invisible risks every day to get the pittance they’ve got put by.
0