Richard Branson (15)

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Still with his toothy grin, and the lice addled beard, the Catweazle mini-me blows more of “his” money, kindly donated by the punters who over the years have supported his shitty companies, on a pointless, fruitless ego trip with Elton Musk, as to who of the two wankstains will be first to the moon:

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/richard-branson-set-space-flight-24442448

This vanity project – for that is all it is – will benefit nobody, except the two protagonists, whose heads will get even bigger (assuming they return from the great behind, as Hylda Baker would have put it), is just another ostentatious display of wealth. A grotesque adventure in a game that can only be played by people with more money than sense. Musk and Branson, who is the bigger cunt of the two, or is it a draw?

i just hope that the device Dick uses to propel himself with invested in strong air fresheners to cover the smell when he shits himself.

Nominated by: W. C. Boggs

100 thoughts on “Richard Branson (15)”

    • On reentry into earths atmosphere,
      Richards burning skull will streak through the air.
      Still grinning.
      Cant trust grinners, FACT.
      Hitler was a grinner.
      And the Unibomber.

      • A pity he is not close enough for Dick to take a few shots at from the roof of Fiddler Towers with his WW2 anti-aircraft gun.

      • Hey hold on there, with a 160+ I.Q. Uncle Ted’s diagnosis and prognosis of technocracy; Industrial Society and Its Future, is bang on the money – he was/is no mug and the Unabomber Manifesto is well worth a read. You can drop him a line at the United States Penitentiary Administrative Maximum Facility (ADX) in Florence, Colo.

      • Afternoon Cunty Chops.
        IQ of 160?
        The dim twat.
        Most on ISAC have a higher IQ!
        Funny enough I watched a documentary ‘hunt for the Unabomber’ not long ago.
        Odd chap .

      • Geniuses are always a bit mental. That Harold Shipman was a clever fella too.

        That Unabomber cunt had a PhD by the time he was twelve or summat.

        Right mad cunt who lived in a small hut in a cold and isolated forest with no electricity and running water.

        Mad as fuck, but you wouldn’t play him at Trivial Pursuit.

      • He should sit on the top of the rocket grinning like a self obsessed cunt as we all watch it thrust up his Fucking arsehole. I would love to see his face change as it melts.
        CUNT

  2. Back in the day my first wife worked in a local record shop. Good little job and helped with the bills.
    Branson opened a megastore in Manchester city centre at the same time as buying most of the little record shops.
    Then the cunt shut down the small ones leaving just his store. I’ve despised that fucker ever since.

  3. The bloke is as thick as shit.
    Got more money than sense; has his own airline, and even has his own trains.
    And still go everywhere by hot air ballon.

  4. I’d chip in a fiver if it was one way. Maybe it’ll be another case of ‘ what’s that button for’ KABOOOM!

  5. Hopefully Branson will have a run in with General Zod when he’s up there.

  7. I hope his giant firework explodes just as he exceeds Galactic Cunt status.

  8. Has cfc decided to keep quiet after the other day or has he finally been banned? He’s usually on here constantly.

    You might think so, but I couldn’t possibly comment. – DA

    • Afternoon General,
      ‘other day’?
      Why? I must of missed it?

      • Not sure who CFC is. I thought it was refrigerant??

        TBRILW He chanced his arm and it didn’t work out so well for him – DA

      • No point acting innocent Miserable. Have you got him tied up in the back of your van?

      • If he was in the back of my van LL, hed be more likely to be in leaking binbags.😁

      • Thanks DA.

        Fuck knows what TBRILW was an acronym for. Didn’t really roll off the tongue, so to speak.

      • In the not entirely implausible event there might be a few wondering why a short-lived nom de plume of mine was “Alice Donut”, here is the reason.

        Doubtless this mildly satirical reference to their album The Revenge Fantasies Of the Impotent didn’t pass ROFL Coconuts by. I expect the resident guru of obscurantist “popular music combos” RuffTuff may also have got the joke.

        Like General Custer, cfc was almost a dictionary definition of a troll (and I should know, eh?) I never did get why he felt so threatened by my presence on here, as he quite measurably did; I can only imagine he had some weird feeling he ran the show. I genuinely have zero desire to be popular (or to get lots of tickies) on here, but cfc appeared to live for the approbation and approval. As I also said recently, I strongly suspect all is (in reality) not quite right upstairs with the chap.

        His trolling aside, the gross overexposure of his clap-trap was becoming frankly embarrassing. I likened him to a washed-out orthochromatic photographic emulsion rather recently, which was pretty charitable.

        I didn’t mind his tedious presence in the least, however. I simply didn’t read the majority of his input (like one or two other “cracked records” on here.)

        I don’t understand why everyone doesn’t do exactly the same (and quite possibly with my own comments!)

        Let’s all gather around the fireplace and listen to The Stone Roses – I Wanna Be Adored in tribute to CFC. It’s what he would have wanted. – DA

      • Aww shame.
        Oh well, a a wealthy man hes got more time to take Cressida out on the jetski…

      • TBRILW. His previous name was cool for cunts, or cfc for short.

      • I’d he lying if I said I didn’t think his banning would happen sooner rather than later.

      • His purporting to be some kind of moneyed plutocrat, whilst referring to people who work for a living as “oiks” and “serfs” was getting on my tits anyway…

      • I have a certain admiration for TBRISL……reporting Admin to Admin was an act of such spectacular fuckwittery that even I was gobsmacked

        Elton John himself will write songs about him. – DA

      • Fiddler@
        What exactly happened?
        Gutted I missed it ☹️
        I was getting impatient for his coming a cropper.
        The bullshitting twat.

      • @Mis……look in the football nom…..his finest is when,after a warning, he tells Admin that he has screenshot the comments and will be reporting Night Admin. to Admin !…it really is quite something. It’s the sheer self-righteous tone that is so gobsmacking.
        I suspect that he was actually rather a young lad..he seemed to think that the site was some kind of sixth-form Common Room and he was going to report the Prefect to the Head Teacher….if he wasn’t just a young ‘un,then he was a fucking childish old ‘un.

      • PS…both him and General Cunster seemed to be keen on “reporting” people to Admin…as C.S. says in his post,they both were actually rather “trollish”…needling people and then trying to get them banned when they responded.

      • Grasses Dick.
        Grown up gobby, then get a slap, cant defend themselves so run to mummy, teacher, etc.
        Unmanly.

    • I’ve a feeling he might be here in a different guise, but I will wait and see how that one plays out.

  9. 1986 Challenger space shuttle. After having billions of USD thrown at it, a faulty set of O rings let by on takeoff and allowed hot exhaust gases to cripple the craft. The cunt went up like a roman candle. All on board were frazzled.

    Just sayin’, Dickie Boy.

      • Mal,

        The O rings popped and then the woman driver panicked. Instead of bringing the craft to a smart and controlled emergency landing, she froze, closed her eyes and put her foot down to the floor – hard. Then she hoped.

        A bit like most women drivers when they approach a narrow, hump-back bridge and a car is coming the other way.

      • Apparently in the voice recording from the cockpit of the Challenger just before it exploded said.
        “Oh go on, let her have a go.”

    • When the space race was on in the 60s a yank rocket on blasting off was hit by lightning,
      All the systems went off luckily rebooting.
      Fuck that.

    • Fantastic documentary about that on Netflix. The disaster could easily have been averted if NASA had listened to the concerns of the engineers. But it was a media circus – the world was watching the first civilian astronaut, a NASA gimmick to get themselves in the public eye again and secure more funding.

      • Interesting watch – apparently the original plan with a double o ring seal was to halt the program and investigate a possible modification if the first o ring was ever breached. That idea went out of the window following several burn throughs of the first one. There were also concerns about launching in very low temperatures, also ignored.

        When I saw a shuttle launch in the late 90’s, viewing it from Jetty Park where the locals go to watch launches, one old boy told me that the cafe there used to patch into the shuttle’s comms during launch and broadcast it through their PA system. But that got stopped after a whole beach load of people listened to the astronauts falling back to earth following the explosion. Apparently, they were still alive until the crew compartment hit the water!

  10. Can you imagine the hilarity if both cunts collided into each other and fell to earth right on top of DAVOS. We can but dream.

  11. At $200,000 a ticket it’s a bargain, according to the grinning cunt it only generates the same CO2 as an economy long haul ticket 😂

    Just put the price down to the same as the economy long haul 👍

    What a cunt!

    • But Branson had a dream of making space “accessible to all”, ok he probably meant all of the worlds wealthiest 1%. Remember that American millionaire who paid $20m to the Russians to be the worlds first space tourist? That probably brought Putin a nice penthouse somewhere.

      • I doubt it will get down to $200 a ride in my lifetime, or 2000, or 20,000.
        Perhaps when he said accessible maybe he was talking about virtual reality.

        Yes I remember that, 20 million, small change to the super rich.

      • Sicky,
        Not just a ‘little Englander’ im also a little earther.
        If I wanted to go to hostile environments populated with strange lifeforms id drive to London.

  12. It’s a good thing someone is attempt to go to the moon. NASA have given up. We should be on Mars by now – the technology is there. The future of space flight is probably in the hands of private companies. So this is all good. Just a shame it has to be two of the smuggest gits on the planet – Beardy Rancid and Elon Musk.

    If it was down to me I’d send Buzz back out there. Yes he’s 92, but he’s still got the right stuff. And he’d punch the lights out of anyone that got in his way. They don’t make them like that any more. Today’s astronauts are nancy boys who’d take the knee as soon as they stepped on Mars.

  13. A documentary about Mike Oldfield it was said that Branson had not the slightest interest in music. The engineer chap on TB said he only owned one record….wait for it…Congratualtions by Cliff Richard.
    He also said he was just a ‘chancer’.

    • No idea whether he was interested in music per se, but he did sign up a few original, groundbreaking bands who might otherwise have fallen by the wayside. E.g. Faust.

      Also if you failed to live in or around London in the early ‘70s, Virgin Mail Order was an essential service for those of a more discerning musical palate.

      Remember ordering Uncle Meat, an expensive ‘import only’ double by The Mothers of Invention. Two weeks later I received two copies in error. Naturally I sold the one with worst surface noise to my best friend – quids in thanks to Dickie’s incompetence!

      Tubular Bells, however, was/is aural flatulence in excelsis.

      • Congratulations by Cliff Richard, Miles? Sounds like he’s a man after your own heart.

        NIAGWYU 😄

      • I was watching the original performance of Tubular Bells on 2nd House (very old BBC ‘arts’ programme) recently, and it was mind numbing. Mick Taylor was playing on it and he looked bored to death.

  14. He spent ages trying to pull one of his air hostesses-a gorgeous green eyed redhead, with an amazing body.
    She was having none of it.
    A couple of my mates were slobbering after her and getting nowhere.
    Eventually, whilst out with this group and was introduced to her. That night, I confirmed that she was definitely not a Virgin😉

    Dirty fucking cow-she fucked me every which way, but loose😀👍

    So fuck you, Branson😉

    • A splendid tale if true, CG – and not a bad one even if not full-hard authentic! I seem to recall another contributor on here (Nurse Cunty iirc) having a personal recollection of an “encounter” with Richard „Bring Out The“ Branston. Something about a marquee event whereby he betrayed his utter crassness and unambiguous cuntishness to all and sundry.

      Like Tony Blair and James Corden, Branston is the connoisseur’s choice of condign cuntery.

  15. A 999 emergency blues and two’s cunting for the Met and Cressida Dick. The murder by Wayne Couzens of Sarah Everard. A dick flashing copper, known by colleagues as a dick flashing copper. Cressida Dick should have resigned or been sacked many times but has the balls ( literally) to keep her job. A sickening individual and an organisation that has been branded not only institutionally racist but institutionally corrupt.

    • The BBC have used the terrible case as another excuse for man bashing today on Wireless 4 – we even had the dubious pleasure of a long interview, or diatribe as it is known , from misandrist Jess Phillips on PM.

      Branson might have gone up in my estimation if he had taken Anthony Blair and Cherie as his guests on his flight into the unknown.

      When he gets back – if he gets back, Dick will sign a contract to make a series fr BBC 3 and will never be seen again…..

    • Oh come on, Bob. Give Cressida some credit, she dealt with Laaaaahndan ‘s Brazilian electrician problem quite robustly.
      Good evening.

      • Just wait until Sunday, Jack. All those far-right extremists with their St George flags and unabashed patriotism, it’ll be a hate crime bonanza.

  16. Wonder if the cunt is actually going into space or just some high altitude bollocks? Seems the height that is considered to be space drops thousands of feet every year. Won’t be long until the cunts call space anything above the ceiling height level capable of commercial aircraft.

    Hope he goes of course and ends up in a black hole.

    Entirely unrelated but we’re currently looking into an issue where WP thinks people are banned when they’re not. We’re working on it. If anyone affected can try posting on their phone and then their PC and are still having issues please comment. Thanks – DA

  18. To infinity and beyond ……..
    BANG !!!!
    Bye Richard.
    It was a blast.
    Get To Fuck.

    • To boldly grin where no man has grinned before…
      The tooth is out there…

      • When the cunt evaporates on re-entry at 5,000 C degrees, the only thing left of the spacecraft and its contents will be those dentures.
        They’ll even survive a 1,000 mph collision with the Nevada desert.
        But no matter. They will be on display at the Science Museum in London for the next 500 years, alongside Tony Blair’s analysis of Saddam Hussein’s chemical war capability; a pair of Princess Diana’s soiled keks, and a copy of a BBC internal inquiry into Jimmy Saville’s ‘quite normal’ behaviour.

  19. His parents gave him a million for his business

    If failure doesn’t matter and failure can’t hurt you success is fuck all.

    I hope on re – entry he gets cancer of the eye balls

  20. Bransons competition is with that Amzon cunt Beezos. He’s built what looks like a flying dildo. They are offering space tourism to multi millionaire cunts, a few minutes of weightless for top top dollar and the claim you have crossed the Karmen line and travelled into space.

    Musks lot at SpaceX are developing rather large and impressive interplanetary reusable two stage to orbit rocket craft that will allow colonisation of the Moon and Mars. For whatever reason.

    Bransons thing is a ‘space plane’ thing that looks pretty and has some interesting tech, but is launched from the wing of a 747 and then glides back to earth like the shuttle (and other things that NASA built and experimented with in the 60s) It’s effectively ia glorified gin palace.

    In fact on the FAA submission for the flight, he is identified as a Payload Speciallist, flying inorder to evaluate the ‘customer experience’.

    Ho he. What a cunt.

      • When the Bezos attempt finally arrives, it will be badly driven, three days late, and with spurious and damaged contents.

  22. Branson the older, he gets his appearance
    Resembles something that that hitched a ride

  23. Fuck off you grinning remoaner cunt.
    Your pickle tastes like shit. Your chutney-locker must be like a septic tank.

  24. Absolute cunt of the highest order. Never stops acting like a spoilt seven year old attention seeking bellend. Just fuck off to the moon in a balloon or boat or whatever, you fucking twat.

  26. It’s the other people on board I feel sorry for, having to listen to that cunt Branson talking shit for hours during practice drills then getting shut in a confined space with the fucker while they pretend to be astronauts. It will be a blessed relief to them when the rocket burns up on re-entry. If it doesn’t happen this time it will soon, real astronauts have the most dangerous profession in the world, with the exception of gangsta rappers.

  27. The cunt wants to be the first civilian in space. Fuck off. Lionel Jeffries did it in 1964, in the film The First Men In The Moon.
    And didn’t Wallace and Gromit also have a crack at it.

    • I’m sure I heard somewhere that Elon Musk jettisoned Stephen Hawking off into space in n that Tesla car.

      It’s a real shame for all these wannabe space pioneers that NASA has lost all the information regarding the technology they used to get to the moon including over 700 boxes of telemetry tapes with the Apollo 11 mission data included.

      My mum still has reels full of music in her attic from the early 70’s which she recorded on her reel to reel machine, yet there cunts have lost reels full of information from ground breaking space missions?

      I heard some NASA cunt interviewed that the technology to go back to the moon is just to difficult to recreate from the beginning again?

      Ok then, let’s focus on sending unmanned shit to the likes of Mars instead where we will never send any human cunt. These cunts know as much about space as they do climate change.

      Found clip of cunt saying the info has been destroyed… https://www.bitchute.com/video/JfpMr8BzgO01/

  28. Richard Branson is obsessed with being first – such as going on the first mission into space.

    “Do you know what a slave does?— He serves other people, not expecting others to serve him. He takes the lowest place, not the first place. He acts as the least important one, not the most important. And remember, Jesus said that the one who wants to be first should act like a slave toward others.”

    Branson expects everyone to be his slave. He can keep his ill-gotten gains while alive but he won’t be able to bribe The Almighty for favouritism or take it with him when he is dead.

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