The Best Paid Job in the World is…….

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(Could have gone for a header pic of Michael Fish or Carol Kirkwood, but was distracted by this warm front coming in from the US! – DA)

…WEATHER FORECASTERS, especially TV weather forecasters!

They get paid a very good salary (don’t have exact figures but I bet its probably well over minimum wage!), for spouting any old bollocks about the weather for today and the next few days!

They will argue/defend themselves by saying “these are just forecasts” Which basically means its just an educated guess, and therefore they can’t be held responsible if these forecasts don’t materialise.

Of course most of us remember quite fondly poor old Michael’s Fish’s “It’s not a hurricane” forecast on the BBC back in 1987. And despite the subsequent ignominy, he still received his monthly pay slip.

But forecasters generally, are a bunch of smug, grinning bastards, standing in front of a map of Britain playing with lots of fancy graphics and banging on about the latest super-duper computer that can calculate 10 billion operations in a second, but still can’t give a definitive answer on whether it will piss down in Torquay this afternoon!

Moreover, when I check the BBC’s online weather page for my area first thing of a morning, it will say sunshine tomorrow morning, and then rain tomorrow afternoon. Great, I think, I can go and cut the lawn in the morning!

But then I check the same site a few hours later, and the rules have changed: rain in the morning, rain in the afternoon. Fuck!

Following morning, check the weather: a complete reverse – rain in the morning, sunshine in the afternoon. But when I look out of my window there’s not a fucking cloud in the sky and its 26C in the glaring sun!

Weather forecasters – just a bunch of well paid bullshitters!

I hope they all get sucked up in an unexpected tornado and end up dumped in the middle of the ocean and eaten by sharks or an unhinged kraken (can Jess Phillips swim?)

Nominated by: Technocunt

66 thoughts on “The Best Paid Job in the World is…….”

  1. It’s all bollocks! I can’t be the only cunt who has noticed that 90% of these “forecasters” are horny birds flashing their tits about. Just like women football pundits they are there to fuel the pathetic fantasies of wankers. Obviously they bung in the odd geezer to cater for the gaylords but it’s all about sex.
    Personally I just look out of the cunting window…….that’s all I need to know.

    • Wasn’t there a topless weather girl back in the 90s on Live TV the satellite channel?

      • I remember “Topless Darts” on Live TV – I bet they will never repeat the grudge match between Jess “Pseudodyke” Phillips and Kate “the real thing” Green, the baritone voiced birds uttering foul oaths and curses at each other as their knockers bounced up and down.

      • Topless darts! That takes me back. Then go hunting the German channels for free smut.

      • I remember a gameshow, comedically dubbed into English, on Bravo called Italian Stripping Housewives.

    • That young lady in the pic definitely made my front warm. (Hope I ain’t pissed me self).
      Then I though hold on that could well be one of them Latino he she’s 😒
      But then I thought fuck it you only live once.

    • They ain’t “forecasters” Fred, they are just “presenters” – reading the autocue prepared by someone else (who will have made their best guess too). Most of these presenters probably don’ t know the difference between an occluded front and a Magnum iced chocolate. Their BA in sewing and ironing won’t have covered that!

  2. The idea they can guess the climate in 50 years time is utter bollox and lies, the cunts.

    • Fucking right, the cunts can’t even get the next morning right. How the fuck can they possibly know what it will be like in 50 years time? It’s all fucking bullshit and dopey governments are making ridiculous decisions based on what these self-appointed ‘experts’ tell them. A bit like covid.

  3. Aside from their dodgy weather forecasts despite super computers and satellite technology there is their patronizing nannying when we experience ‘extreme weather’ ie a bit hotter or colder for a week than is normal for the season.

    Since when was it the job of some twat who gets paid to read an autocue, to tell me to remember to put on sun cream or drink lots of water when its hot or wrap up when its cold? I wouldn’t take notice of a health professional for finger-wagging bollocks like this never mind some cunt reading a weather repot.

    I do like Lucy Veresamy though.

  4. David Attenborough being a prime example. Stupid cunt bleats on about climate change and the feeble minded think he knows what he’s talking about – he’s just another over-paid tv presenter reading an autocue.

    • The whole carbon emissions = temperature rises is just another racket that shall not be questioned.

      Like another certain on going racket that shall not be questioned either.

      These dodgy narratives are the msm’s new religion and any dissenting voices are guilty of heresy.

  5. If they just said ” The weather tomorrow will be the same as the weather was today” they’d be right more times than they are now.

    I too like Lucy Verasami and used to like Clare Nasir ( until she got fat and old,obviously….she can Fuck Off now)

      • “Weather event” too…since when did the the weather become a sideshow? Probably from across the pond like the naming of storms did.

        Morning Fiddler.

      • Morning,LL.

        They never have a “Storm Mohammed”,do they?..”a weatherbomb liable to cause mass casualties and the collapse of very tall buildings in New York.

        Morning All.

      • Morning Mr Fiddler.

        There used to be that bloke on telly who could tell you what the weather would be like from old folklore stuff.
        ‘Rainbow in the morning gives you fair warning’ that kind if thing.
        I suppose you with your long life in the country have only to sniff the air to know what the weather will be that day.

      • Morning,Miles….. As far as I’m concerned they’re all good mornings as long as the Hounds can follow the scent or the pheasants can take to the wing….I also enjoy killing fish too.

  6. I’ve always had a fondness for Carol Kirkwood’s tits.
    Unfortunately the old gravity seems to have caught up with them these days.

    • They need a weather guesser on GB news!
      Its just a picture of the UK jerkily on screen to shite music.
      Get It sorted.
      Not meteorologists now are they, used to be some slaphead in dodgy knitwear straight from yew tree,
      Now its some perky titted smiling bird.
      Within 3 years itll be weather trannies.
      Like the fuckin Rocky Horror show🤐

      • What about that Miserable a butterfly can flap its wings somewhere ‘causing” a hurricane somewhere else. I mean it’d have to be flapping away furiously to cause a fucking hurricane surely?

      • Morning Miles,
        Yes butterflies are highly dangerous,
        Should be called doombringers or disasterwreakers.
        Yet if a moth flaps its wings no extreme weather events?

      • Bertie has local north west weather mincer Owain Wyn Evans discussing his warm fronts and golden showers.

      • Its raining men! Hallelujah, its raining men,amen!

        Owain wyn jones

    • I think Carol would take it up the arse. Now I have a mental image of doing that with her moaning in Scottish. I think I need a cold shower.

  7. Scortchio, scortchio.

    It is not unknown for the Wireless 4 weather forecast to be totally different from the BBC TV one at the same time. A few weeks ago on Wireless 4 weather forecast said at 0655 “the hot dry weather will continue today….. it was pissing down at that very moment in Kentish Town and had been for several hours.

    • Fucking hell! No idea what she is saying, other than “San Francisco” but she needs to stop fucking about with this weather shit and get her jugs out.
      Probably not relevant but San Francisco was full of fa**ots last time I was there.
      Just saying like!

    • Larissa Sladkova , if anyone with strong meteorological interests needs to do follow up research/ has horn

  9. Its lovely grey skies here at the moment,
    Cool air a gentle breeze,
    Go for sunday dinner at the pub?
    Be like a ant under a looking glass!
    Boiling hot and humid as fuck.
    Treacherous cunt the weather.

  10. I notice the cities are in Spanish. The language of the USA is English not Spanish. If they want to use that language then fuck off to some south American country. Cheeky cunts. Dump yourselves in the states and bring your failed culture with you. The Spanish and Portuguese fucked south America now they flood north taking the same failed mindset and language with them. Insolent fucks. Speak English or fuck off tart.

    I too get very upset about New Orleans being called Nueva Orleans and Nueva York on a random jpg showcasing a weather girl someone looked up on Google. At 8am. On a Sunday. – DA

      • They were called those names years ago and have been since. Now the cunts are trying to change the whole country. No no no you wet back melon pickers. They have fuck all right to change established names. Once they take over America it’ll be ruined like south America. You chose to move to the USA so kindly change yourselves and adapt and don’t try to change it to suit you. Cunts.

    • I wonder if the Spanish have a similar self loathing group like in the U.K. which regrets, and seeks to apologise and make amends for its colonialism? Let’s face it, most of Britain’s empire is back under indigenous rule, and their language and culture, for good or bad, remains unchanged. You can’t say that about Spanish conquests, which mostly consist of Spanish speaking catholic Latinos. And thanks to the Catholic trait of overbreeding, they have filled the Americas.

  11. It looks like a Spanish language TV station. It says temperaturas hoy behind her head, today’s temperatures, hence the different pronunciation of cities names.

  12. Don’t need to look at the Weather forecast here for a month or two now.
    Mid to high 30s and the occasional 40c til the end of August. 😎

      • It’s not that bad.
        Beers cold, pools and lakes are nice and cool and I get all my welding work done early.

  13. This Aussie weather girl has multiple qualifications in meteorology, journalism, an enormous fan club, and really excellent norks.

    https://heightzone.com/jane-bunn-pregnant-married/

    Presumably most of these are lads who like a comfy ride rather than rattling around on one of those bony skun rabbits that the other networks display.

    And a great name: Jane Bunn!

  14. They are very good at telling us what the weather was like earlier. 100% accurate.

  15. They should use dead celebrities.
    Imagine the weather forecast with Spike Milligan?
    Keith Moon?
    Emperor Hirihito?
    Ming the Merciless?

    My personal favourite would be Staines on climate change.

    Imagine Keith Moon as Uncle Ernie doing the weather off his tits. Scare the fuck out of twitter that would. I’d watch it. – DA

  17. That stumpy one puts me off. You end up not knowing the weather because you’re put off by the stump waggling about.

    Not the poor lass’s fault of course, but you know they’re just box ticking. They’ll have a deaf blind dark key falidomide midget tranny with a speech impediment next.

    To be honest, I’d look forward to seeing a cunt like that reading the weather every night.

    • I was gonna mention her but no need now.
      The geezer in the wheelchair doing a piece on Africa whilst in the middle of a plantation. How the fuck did he get there?
      Then there is the other bloke in a wheelchair who is usually on nature shit showing some prospective buyers a house. Points to the steps and says that’s the upstairs.

      If it wasn’t for a changeable weather, my missus would nave fuck all to talk about.

  18. The weather in the north west of England today forecasts rain. The weather in the west midlands of England today forecasts rain. The weath……………….. oh who fucking cares?!

  20. “There is a 50% chance of rain tomorrow”
    In other words, it might rain, it might not.

    Load of bollocks.

    Those wishing to achieve an appropriate horn could do worse that search Google for ‘South American Weather Girls’

    Thank me later.

  21. One of the reasons the Weather forecasts have become less accurate is that the CUNTS at the BBC kicked out the Met Office and turned to a cheaper, private, company MeteoGroup, based in Utrecht. Like many money earning scams the company has been bought and sold a number of times and it now seems to be owned by a Finance Company in the USA. The Metreological Office was originally set up by The Ministry of Defence, before the government of the day cashed it in. The system is now money driven and has little to do with a need to provide accurate information, despite more advanced technology being available. It is now more accurate to make your own weather forecasts by looking out of the window and completely ignoring the CUNTS in MeteoGroup.

  22. I always remember hearing an Aussie weather man from Sydney speaking about this. Actually said that forecasting was the easiest job in the world. The forecasters just said every morning that the temperature would be in the eighties, very sunny,little chance of rain. Job done.

  23. they used to be not bad years ago until they built in the fake global warming data into the computer models and then it went all to fuck, thats always been my theory anyway

  24. Admin,
    The weather here in sunny Manchester is so fucking bright I struggle to read the posts on the site.
    Would it be possible to maybe try a bolder font?
    Or shall I just fuck off?

    I think you already know the answer to that rhetorical question. – DA

  25. The weather is so sensationalised these days.

    If they say there is an evil storm going to lash the country, I don’t believe a word of it any more.

    The Met Office constantly cry wolf, trying to scare the shit out of everybody with these named storms and their ‘weather warning risk assessment matrix’.

    How many times have you looked out the window in these instances and thought, “is that fucking it?”

    “Storm Herbert is coming,- look at those tightly packed isobars, I’d avoid any unnecessary travel if possible. The roof will blow off your house, and your kids will be swept away in a torrent of biblical rain, – only to emerge downstream and get interfered with by Fred Talbot, where we have a red peedough warning this evening”

  26. Yorkshire weather report:
    “It’s raining”, again.
    Sorted.
    Now, Sarah Keith-Lucas – bigger beer gut than a retired miner but rather pleasing, Carol Kirkwood – busty, old and hopefully quite senile (“Are you sure I live here young Man” – “why yes of course my dear, does anyone know you’re out?”..)
    Lucy Veresamy – lovely little thing but I fear a full on mounting may snap the poor gal!
    I imagine any attractive ones would be more worried by tory politicians etc visiting the office than the weather they see from their chauffer driven vehicles to and from the studio – bonking Boris, hands full Hancock and fondling Ferguson..
    One lot are utterly pointless irrelevancies who provide no useful information, the others are weather forecasters.

  28. Apparently nailing a piece of seaweed to one’s front door predicts the weather.
    Basically if it’s soaking wet it means that it’s been pissing down.

    • Forecasting the weather in this country is a piece of piss. I’ll do it for free. My prediction is, every day for the next twelve months it’s going to be cold, wet and windy.
      Compare my forecast to those made by the ‘professionals’ and on average, mine will be more accurate. Guaranteed.

  29. I would shower Carol Kirkwoods tits. She’s desperate for cock rain or shine….

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