Lego Goes Woke

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I never liked Lego.
Shite toy, if you want me to build stuff I expect to be paid!
Never bothered with the crap.
But lots of people do,
Each to their own,
Some build impressive stuff with it and get enjoyment from it.
Fair dos.
BUT!!!
Now theyve jumped on the bangwagon and brought out …. LGBTQ edition!!
No joke.
Maybe it has rounded corners for shoving up your arse?
Maybe you can build the Blue Oyster Bar?
Maybe itll bum your action man?
Whatever its capabilities,
Its a disgrace.

Nominated by: Miserable Northern Cunt

Helpful link provided by Dick Foxchaser-Fiddler

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2021/may/20/everyone-is-awesome-lego-launch-first-lgbtq-set

67 thoughts on “Lego Goes Woke”

  1. It’s a nasty cunt for stepping upon with bare feet, this woken SS alphabet shite just makes me despise it more

  2. Fucking disgusting and trust the fucking Guardian to be all over it like a pox ridden rash. Ok, I know i’m not very trendy, yah, but what does IA added on to LGBT mean? My first thought is “Inter Arse” but it can’t be that.
    Can it?

    • There was a line in an episode of The In-Betweeners, where Neil asks:

      “How much Lego can you put up your bum?” so it is likely. I wouldn’t want to play with Lord Adonis’ set, lets just say that.

    • Intersex and Asexual

      Asexuality normally achieved a short time after marriage.

  3. Why is this considered appropriate for kids? I can’t see many parents buying this for their kids. Only gay parents which is about 0.1% of the World’s population.

    Crass virtue signalling. I hope they go bust. Cunts.

  4. ” bum your action man”.

    If you have,or had, an Action Man who are probably A Gay already…they are nothing but dolls for boys..dressing them up and buying them little outfits indeed.

    Children should be outside building dens,stringing trip-wires across public-footpaths,shooting wildlife,chasing foxes on horseback etc., not playing “Ooohhh Ducky,I got the simply most divine pair of arseless chaps for my dolly today”.

    Most Gays got started with their nefarious activities by shoving an Action Man up their arse.

    Lego is also shit….only enjoyed by lazy fat swotty types who pretended to be ill to avoid rugby.

    • Yeah but originally Action Man was dressed up like a soldier with guns and shit. Nowadays he’s a beardy hipster who lays down in the road to save the fucking planet. Accessories include skateboards, mobile phones and little Starbucks coffee cups you can litter the place up with. You can even buy little plastic coppers who stand around watching the cunt and doing nothing.
      Knee taking coppers cost a little extra.

    • As a child I owned an Action Man figure , which I used to kick that appalling gay, Crystal Ken, out of Barbie’s dollhouse in the girl next door’s garden. Much to the amusement of both sets of parents at the time (my dad was Royal Marine and was most proud, I recall). I made sure the girl next door had Barbie waiting on Action Man all afternoon.

      I also owned an Evil Knievel figure (the one on the rev up motorbike).

      Should I be worried?

      At present, I have no urge to buy a hamster or small rodent and can’t stand listening to anything by Madonna or Elton John. I am appalling at anything art related too.

      And with respect, there is a lot of gayness about in the sport of rugby. Lots of heads near men’s crotches. The ‘scrum’ seems like an excuse for a bit of gay S&M to me.

      I’m keeping my back to wall around here today, I know that much.

      Morning DF, morning all.

      • Actually, I had Action Man turn up in a tank at Barbie’s house. “Gerrout. This is my woman!”

      • Action man did nazi uniforms in the 70s, and I cleverly crafted a KKK outfit out of a hanky for mine.
        One day I came home from school and found cuddles the toy monkey 🐒
        Hanging from the doorknob by a yoyo string…

      • I’m sorry but you should indeed be worried…The Gayness can lay dormant for many years before emerging from the infected host like an Alien popping out in that film.

        Do you have an urge to paint your garden furniture ” Country Cream” and enjoy reciting poetry on mooorland walks ?…..If so. you are indeed ripe for a case of The Full-Blown Gayness…don’t worry about finding a “partner”, I think I already know someone who would fit (up) you like a glove.

        Morning,CB
        Morning All

      • Lol

        Sorry I missed all that I was just looking for my leather cap. Back to my breakfast of champions, jumbo sausage with a squirt of mayonnaise on the end of them. (Ooooooh!)

      • Surely it should be “Action Person” or “Action Non-Gender”?

        Action Man, is hugely offensive, sexist, and is probably linked to the old British Empire and slavery…

        Action Man, must be taken to account for his appalling behaviour and apologise forthwith.

      • Christ MNC, I too fashioned a KKK outfit for my Action Man! I remember purchasing a sheet of white felt, cutting it to size and sewing the back up with white cotton.

        I then cut some eye holes (although they were a little raggedy, I recall) with some scissors.

        My Action Man then became the Superior Action Man. Great days.

      • I had to court martial my teddy for some misdemeanor and he was hung from the neck until I assumed he was dead. Burial took place in the garden and overnight it rained. My mum spotted a muddy sodden limb the next day and went fucking nuts. Mums never understood boys stuff.

    • Buying children ActionMen is akin to raising them as “Gender Neutral”.

      I’d ban any toy that didn’t involve hitting something/someone with a stick.

      • There used to be an Action Man “Escape from Colditz” set, with a big fuckoff Swastika on the box.
        Ah the good old days…

    • When I a boy my dad bought me an action man , it was of the queens lifeguards, had all the proper things, polished breastplate, polished helmet and boots and a sword, , if it was made today it would be blek, no sword, no polished breast plate, and be wearing leather chaps with its arse hanging out, and taking the knee, fuck off…

      • The ceremonial figures and uniforms make good money from collectors, many of whom are ex servicemen…

  6. They’ll have Village People action figures soon, with detachable hard-ons, dild0s that they can put in their hands and cavities in their arses.

    Instead of disgust and anger, if you brought out such a range the media would fucking ‘celebrate’ it and how ‘brave’ the company is.

  7. Being a kid a million years ago, we never had Lego, we had Meccano sets – the many happy hours I had tightening up my nuts.

    • I instinctively knew as a kid that adults thought Lego was ‘educational’ and aid development, and had no part of it.
      Same with Meccano.
      Some kids liked it, built a Landrover Defender with it or something?
      I thought it was spassy.
      Now toys are getting even gayer.
      The Fisher Price musical dildo is one of the best selling toys at Christmas.
      And Action man comes with a free butt plug.

    • I don’t think kids today would have a clue about building anything from Meccano without having to check on YouTube first.

      moreover, a Meccano set these days would come with a Health & Safety pamphlet highlighting risks to personal safety if you don’t follow correct instructions.

      • I think later Meccano was plastic. I remember mine was metal. If they made it now, would probably be cardboard to satisfy HSE criyeria.

  8. I don’t think kids even play with Lego that much since minecraft. Believe it or not a huge market is older sad fucks who’ll lap this up.

    • Before I retired I had a call to visit someone’s home to fix a PC. Near the PC was a quite substantial Lego construction. I casually remarked that I saw his kids were heavily into Lego. A short, awkward silence followed by, “It’s my wife actually; we haven’t got any children.”

  9. Scalextric were well ahead of the game…..they had electric cars before anyone had dreamed of them. All they need now is some little plastic half chat drivers, dressed up like cunts, constantly moaning about saving the planet and fucking raaaaay-sism and they are bang up to date.

    • Morning Miles!
      I hope as a religious man your in full support and outraged by this?
      The innocence of childhood undermined,
      As a kid id spend hours riding on my Chopper,
      Or tugging at my Stretch Armstrong, a large rubber bodybuilder clad in just underpants.
      Now theyre making play gay!

      • Be around the time I started watching Magnum PI on telly Sicky,
        Going to school in a Hawaiian shirt and fake mustache set me apart from the other 12yr old lads….

      • Just off to church Miserable. The Bishop’s coming!
        I will put your concerns to him.

      • The Bishop’s coming? Not up the choirboy’s arse, I trust?

        Best come in his mouth to be safe.

  12. There’s a tv series with various teams building LEGO, presumably replete with judgements and culling of the teams. That this is considered a feasible platform to deliver audiences to advertisers says it all. If it works then even worse.

  13. Is that bum the builder in the header,

    Ve vill be taking ze names of all those who purchase a LGBT set…..

  14. My opinion……

    A tiny percentage of parents will buy this gay themed Lego for their confused sprogs, certainly not enough to significantly improve Lego’s impressive profits.

    Sadly there are what are called AFOL (Adult Fans Of Lego).
    So many that there is even an AFOL dating site where you can hook up with other people that share your passion.

    These are the people that will buy any limited edition sets of Lego.
    Those sets will never be opened. They will be packed away carefully with the receipt and may appear in specialist toy auctions in decades to come.

    Lego is a hugely successful company having sold having sold half a trillion bricks in the many years that they have been in existence.

    They know a thing or two about how to market their product.

  16. Lego is for children ffs. They shouldn’t even know about LGBTQ creepy crap. What sick sonovabitch thought this nightmare up? Sexualising children- wicked cunts.
    Is there nothing and nowhere safe from these
    reptilian scaley creatures?

  17. Meccano was much better.
    And British, unlike Lego.
    Should have used it to reinforce the Comet airliners…

    • I always wanted meccano but it was too expensive. I had a carrier bag full of old bits of Lego which basically meant I could build one of three things a dilapidated house an dilapidated bungalow or a car. Most of the time it was used for my parents to step on with bare feet and shout obscenities under their cries of pain.
      Happy days.

  18. It’s brilliant. A revelation almost.

    I must get some sets in for the grandkids at Christmas before they sell out.

    Reputedly, the brown shade of bricks are hand-crafted out of genuine solidified leak-out from Owen Jones’ ring-piece.

    As the bricks warm up they release Owens’ aroma for that true LGBTQIA++ experience.

    When will this absolute madness end?

    Even our kids are not safe from this predatory bunch of woke mob lunatics.
    .

  19. I am just surprised that Lego has yet to bring out more diverse sets, for the offspring if those, who culturally enrich us:

    -my first bomb factory

    -my kebab shop

    -Lego mega mosque

    -my street party (complete with gobby black -panther bitch and teenage shooter)

    -my grooming (gang)

    -Lego (potential) architect kit.

    Marcus Rash-thoughts football-a subuteo game where all the black players have realistic kneeling, black power salute and whinging in Twitter about racism, actions…
    🤔

  20. Like Lord Fiddler-I quickly put away childish things-guns, hunting and target shooting, canoes, motorbikes (off road). Then puberty hit and the only hobbies were girls, guitars, girls, alcohol and girls😀👍

  21. Fireman Sam, Postman Pat, Mr McHenry, Windy Miller, Mr Pogle, Joe 90…I didn’t realise it at the time but they were all white supremacists.

  22. Build a Lego oven for these sick cunts.
    Then surprise them by shooting them instead.

    • Fantastic Unkle T-during a brew whilst reading that-tea exits nose, covers desk😂

  23. Lego is an acronym of the Danish ‘lege godt’, meaning play well.

    Not a lot of people know that.

  24. My son when he was little swallowed some Lego pieces.
    He was shitting bricks for weeks.

  26. Shit toy, unless you wanted something to look like a picture on ceefax.

  27. Lego is bad enough, but it gets worse.

    I got our cats some Dreamies last week, and there’s now a fucking rainbow and ‘LGBT’ on the packets. What the frig has that sort of thing to do with pet food?
    Gay Lego is mental enough, but gay cat biscuits?! This world is now totally warped.

    • Cats are quite possibly the least gay animal of all.

      Dogs might bum each other now and again, but you never see male cats doing that. In fact, if male cats meet they usually immediately try and rip the other cunt’s throat out in a fight over territory. They’re 100% carnivorous and heterosexual.

      If they could understand what was on those packets they’d refuse to eat them.

  28. I just went on the Lego site and see the set “Everyone Is Awesome” is $34.99………. underneath it states “Coming Soon” ………… I bet they do, dirty cuntz.

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