The end to personal privacy is a cunt.
With effect from1 July your GP records will be held on a centralised database and used for research purposes. It has been described as the ‘Biggest data grab’ in NHS history.
https://www.theregister.com/2021/05/13/nhs_data_grab/
Unless you opt out by 23 June (and this cannot be done online – you have to download a fucking form and send it somewhere ffs), the Borg will have assimilated you data and there will be no turning back. Any spotty researcher planning the next steps on our public health dictated road to hell, or bidder for NHS contracts, will have access.
In summary, from July doctor/patient confidentiality will mean that only your doctor, you and millions of other random cunts will be able to check out you health/mental health.
Nominated by: Twenty Thousand Cunts Under the Sea
Good, they are very welcome to it. After viewing my NHS history perhaps now one day a statue of me will be erected on a plinth!
Good morning and fuck off!
14
Wouldn’t people wonder why theres a statue of Woody Allen in Surrey?
17
I don’t see why. No one wonders why there’s a statue of Jimmy Savile in your front ‘yard’ 😀
25
Its for pilgrims from Surrey.
Charge em a fiver to have a photo with their dad.
23
A fiver! Doubtful as that would buy three houses in your street 😀 😀
22
Notice theres quite a few places theyve named locally after you and the family!
Dork in Dorking
Stain in staines
Obviously the Downs!
18
There’s a statue of Edward Colston in front of Creampuff Manor.
Can’t imagine how it got there…
17
Now I would pay a fiver to have a photograph next to that fine upstanding historical figure of better times, RTC.
19
I am too rich to care or google somewhere up north that is an anagram of “I will always be poor” 😀 😀 😀
21
Zzzzzzz eh?
No I dont want your old furniture either.
Hehehe 😀
15
I don’t see why. Your whole life seems to revolve around lugging other peoples old furniture from one damp terraced house to another. I would’ve thought you’d be thrilled
😀 😀 😀 😀
24
But im being paid for it.
If you pay me ill take it the tip for you?
Obviously no-one wants it,
Pinks not a popular colour!
Hey, it’ll be a nice for you to have a big strong man around the house!!
14
Other than a far more distinguished cunter than you, no one else got offered it.
Electric ox blood recliners and matching settee! Be no good to you though. imagine having to try and explain it to your poor children….
“Worriz it da”
“Iv sin it in picture books litluns, itz summat wel nevr av…class”
“Awww da”
Remember that when you’re pulling up your tea chest and buffing up the newspaper to make it more comfortable before trying to work out what warning light is now on your 1996 transit
😀 😀 😀 😀 😀
18
Hahahaha 😂
Sounds well bent.
9
https://www.mycarerecord.org.uk/faqs
4
Doesn’t it make you want to weep with joy, RTC? All this effort going in to keeping you safe. Altruism in its very purest sense. God bless the NHS.
4
What makes anyone think this hasn’t been going on for ages anyway!
13
Odd that a digital record can only be stopped by a paper request. Cunts. Fuck em. Quacks are by and large cunts.
13
I opted out on line. I received a message saying that my medical records would not be shared for research and planning. Maybe the cunts are hoping people will not bother if they think you have to fill in a form then give it to your doctor. It is quite easy to do all you need is your NHS number name and DOB.
3
Go to NHS digital opt out.
4
As long as security encryption, firewalls and procedures are top notch and as long as the electronic access is limited to medical doctors only then I’m okay with it……………. obviously none of that will be the case because governments are either incompetent, sinister or both so I’ll be getting myself one of those forms.
12
We’ve had something similar in Oz for a few years now, the CCP need it for their blue eyed flu research.
10
Oh shit does that mean my OWS with be made public, my doctor promised no one would ever know about my obsessive wanking 😂
It’s worse for MNC, all the world will find out about his medical grade custom made Butt Plug. 😉
11
My understanding is that your records would be available to NHS contractors (consultants, researchers) and big pharma.
I have also read that by opting out, the only thing that is removed from your record is your name. Not sure if that is enough to ensure your anonymity – what about address, NI/NHS numbers….
6
Of course if yo’ve sailed in on a dinghy, or are an effnick/BAME type, then you won’t care a shit because you won’t have a NHS number, National Insurance number or any form of identification.
And when you pop into a hospital for the umpteenth time the admin staff will be too shit scared to refuse treating you if they ask for ID.
So yet again, decent citizens get scrutinzed even more with what they do, where they go, what they buy and what they say. While the usual suspects hide under the radar once again, and no one bats an eyelid.
15
As the IT guy here can’t you just cut to the chase and tell us if this is a good idea to opt out of or not?
11
Funnily enough I used to do contract work for a company called CSC, who were hired by the NHS back in the late 90s/ early 00’s on a completely fucked-witted project called Lorenzo.
It was meant to be a centralised computer database system where all patient records could be stored and accessed from any hospital or GP surgery throughout the UK
However, it was managed by too many suits with too many convuluted ideas that could not be achieved using IT software/hardware back in the day. They just didn’t understand what they were asking for.
As a consequence the entire project failed, costing taxpayers billions, and the suits blamed the IT grunts for being thick cunts!
https://www.theguardian.com/society/2013/sep/18/nhs-records-system-10bn
9
Explains almost everything about govt IT projects. Could not understand why given that a major part of my learning was systems analysis, unified modelling language etc, you were expected to be proficient and use you skills to create software that worked written in C++ or C. Came as a shock when I discovered that the government approach to IT was more of a Narnian nature driven by numerous people with no idea or concept of how to build a reliable and maintainable system.
Do any of you dear cunters remember Trawlerman that was a fucking brill fuck up.
6
That wouldn’t surprise me in the slightest, T.
However it hasn’t really answered my question, although it did sort of.
8
Mr T. Opt out, there can be no cast iron guarantee that your info will be secure imho.
6
Yes, BB, probably for the best. The Russians will be able to hack it within five minutes.
7
I think I’ll just make more GP appointments with obscure maladies.
Fragile X Syndrome.
Beri Beri.
Buruli Ulcer.
And so on..
The set of cunts.
8
I couldn’t give a fuck.
8
The UK govt: garbage in, garbage out. Oh so fucking shabby, with zero chance of a slew of fraudsters targeting the most vulnerable in say a year or two. Guilt edged cunts the lot of ’em.
10
And definitely no chance of identity theft.
6
Not a chance, as far as I understand it to access an individuals records you need the DOB and post code as the ‘key’. Thank fuck the census information is not for sale otherwise well ..
5
@Fish Finger
Considering that most people’s DOB and postcode are available to people working at mobile companies, utility companies, banks, insurance companies etc i imagine anybody who worked at one of those places could harvest loads of info in order to get those security details in order to access a person’s medical records. Considering the private nature of medical records, this could be a new type of ransomware.
4
@Two
I remember the first large scale phishing email scam, 20M barclays customers got trapdoor invitations to get fucked. They traced the leak to India, the little shit probably gave it up for a chapati and a go with a goat. Tick Tock.
8
Is this also applicable to people in Scotland, where the NHS is fully devolved?
5
Good luck to the person who downloads mine.
4
I feel we are indebted to you for picking this one up TTCUS, and to you RTC, for supplying that link. I would urge you all to read the contents of that link carefully. The plan is to have all your information on line and supposedly secure. Anyone who has had dealings with installing, maintaining or using computer systems will tell you they are NEVER secure; they leak like a fucking sieve. A woman of my acquaintance routinely uses her access to NHS systems to check out her daughter’s latest boy friend. Read between the lines of who will have access to your information and it amounts to pretty well any twat with any sort of connection to the NHS, but the one that leaps off the page to me is “social worker”. Anyone who has had the misfortune to have dealings with those low life learns sooner or later that they are the ENEMY. The net is replete with dreadfully sad tales from people whose lives they have destroyed. Note also that there are TWO forms required for the whole process of securing your data. Whether they will achieve your intention is another question.
11
Longer term cunters may well remember a cunting I put forth in 2018 about my experiences with social workers. Tbf the one my special needs brother has right now seems to be good but she’s very much the exception..
4
We are slowly turning into North Korea.We are all stuffed
7
NHS has been selling data for years.
You have a serious illness, you WILL get bombarded with brochures from care homes or even funeral plans. I have seen it many, many times.
Shit idea-the vulnerable will become even more vulnerable 👎
8
The NHS as an organisation is utterly morally bankrupt and unfit for purpose.
7
Anyone see that business in Chinatown (the one in Londonistan) last week. The NHS put an ad for Covid jabs on some Chinky website…….no names, no NHS numbers, no ID, no questions asked. The word got round and they were overwhelmed with illegals from all over. Fucking cunts, what the fuck are we doing in this country? Should have injected them all with rat poison.
14
In a sane world, they would have had UK Immigration Force waiting like US cops do sometimes, sending out letters to criminals with outstanding warrants, telling them they have won something in a prize draw then nick the cunts.
7
Fuck me! We have an Immigration Force? What do they do all day?…….the Guardian fucking crossword?
11
I had one of those Chinatown jabs.
Shite.
An hour later I wanted another one.
2
As long as they redact any mention of crabs, STDs and scabies (all caught of toilet seats) I couldnt give a flying fuck.
6
So, do we drop the paper form into our local GP surgery then?
3
Mine will be dropped in this week. Have stapled the two pages together to prevent ‘accidental’ separation,
2
Can you link to the second form we need to fill out?
2
Fuck the NHS. There, I said it.
5
Does this mean more junk mail in the post regarding funeral plans and life insurance? Not forgetting text messages and computer voice answering machine messages regarding miss sold PPI, and those ‘we are calling about your recent accident’ messages?
What happened to those old e-mail messages, ‘I am a prince wiith lots of money to give you, but I need £100.00 from you first’ ?
7
“Research purposes” eh?
The stink of social engineering is in the air yet again.
Cunts…
5
Slightly different view on this. There’s only so much money for the NHS, allegedly, so why not spend it on a central database where we can analyse ailments and put in preventative medicine for the salad averse, exercise averse etc? Something needs to be done. I don’t think it will reveal that much that we don’t know already, as we already have the death stats e.g. how many die of heart disease, cancer, road deaths, stabbings etc. However, dead is too late. Whilst alive at least treatment for medical issues is a possibility, unless its pancreatic cancer of course; I mean the treatable ailments.
Yes agree, don’t trust the govt to store this data properly. Will end up offshore, in the cloud, hacked and/or sold. In principle though I’m not against it and if there is the option for anonymity then that is good. Of course, it could also be viewed as a potential vaccine passport record. Don’t like that obviously. If it was genuinely used for good that would be alright.
1
The NHS no longer exists . It’s simply a Logo.
5
I am confident, given the Governments impeccable and unblemished record on keeping data safe (uncoded laptops left on a train etc) that there will be no issues going forward..
6
To be honest, my medical file of piles, drink induced shakes, nob rot and earache would not be pleasant reading.
6
Most of the pathetic hypochondriacs I know won’t shut the fuck up about their ailments, so I imagine they will be overjoyed that more people than they can bore will know what shit they suffer from.
Fuck them.
3
Hypochondria is the only medical condition I haven’t had! 😀
2
Doctor. Hello patient, we haven’t seen you in a while.
Patient. Sorry I’ve not been in. I haven’t been well.
1