Fuck me. Just read about this cunt. He was going through a divorce (I wonder why?) and his kindly elderly parents gave him a place to stay while he sorted his life out.
However, this fella was a fan of the grumble. A fucking huge fan by the sounds of things. He had over £18,000 worth of porn which he decided to bring into his parents’ home (without asking it seems). The collection also included two boxes of sex toys. The mind boggles.
Anyway, after 10 months the cunt was still living with his put upon parents and wanking himself half blind, while ramming stuff up his arse and shoving pumps onto his bellend and maybe even clips onto his balls (who the fuck knows? Sounds like you do – NA) I’m guessing his parents were thinking he’d be there a month or two and be getting on with sorting his life out. He was going nowhere, except to the eye clinic and to the repetitive strain injury department.
The cunt’s in his 40s and his parents, in my opinion, were trying to help him when they threw his ‘collection’ out.
Did Mr Wanking thank them and sort his life out?
Did he fuck.
He took them to court. Not only that, he won. He can now claim damages for losing his spunk stained grumble collection.
I’m not some puritan who wants porn banning, but fuck me.
I hope the cunt goes blind if he hasn’t already.
Nominated by: Cuntybollocks
Not heard it called grumble before. Is it a northern thing?
7
He sounds a right wanker…
10
Aye Ruff:
Where you probably went blackberry picking, eager young northerners went “grumble-picking” looking for discarded wank-mags.
To paraphrase B&W Cunt, “I know naafink abaaaht it”.
Obviously 😉
6
Much obliged for the illumination General. 👍
4
Hedgerow catalogues I think they were called in the viz profanisaurus. Grumble mags, diddy mags etc etc
5
I think there was a word for it in the Viz Profanisaurus – the feeling when you see a coloured mag in the bushes from afar, only to find it is a discarded Argos catalogue.
6
It’s Cock-er-ney rhyming slang – Grumble and Grunt. Me old China.
Gawd bless yah.
6
He’s a bit of a “crown & anchor.”
6
Could rename this site at is-a-grumble-and-grunt.com
3
Grumble is just a collection of comics or magazines.
4
You remember “The Grumbleweeds?” – a group from the 70’s.
They used to display their ‘grumbles’ on stage. A bit like the Full Monty, only weedier.
3
I saw them live a few times-blue as fuck, when the cameras were absent👍
5
I think it’s a Geordie thing I heard it in Viz first way back when.
NA, yup got be bang to rights got clips on me sack now. Don’t knock it, it’s a good night in.
2
Perhaps the parents should counter-sue for unpaid rent and board!
6
Canadians.
They voted on Tru-glow.
Wankers!
7
He’s got a book ‘coming’ out next month entitled . . . . . . .
“Jerking and Twerking with David Werking.”
10
It’s rank wank apparently.
5
This cunt sounds like he needs some serious guidance. Perhaps those cunts from Brighton who were done for nailing each other’s scrotums to boards and sand papering their bellends would be willing to help.
5
Thought they were from Evesham?
2
Stanley-I once had the “experience” of four hours in a pub called the “Iron Road” in Evesham. Looking back, I can well imagine it to be true😙.
Any Evesham Cunters on here would agree, probably..
2
You may well be right, Stanley. Such clandestine practices may also be endemic to Saffron Walden and King’s Lynn. Market towns all.
1
Lol
What the fook?
2
Something tells me that he would be very much at home on this site.
4
Not really, the guy is a technophobe, I get all mine on line, (you can save to favourites on some sites!)
3
Good to have you back, I was wondering what had happened to you.
0
Just another sad example of the mad fucking world we live in. The judge is a cunt, Mr wanker had no right what so ever to put on his parents. If they don’t want his stuff porn or otherwise then they do have to .. Fuck the Judge with some of Mr wankers toys then tie them together and let them into the nonce’s enclosure at the local prison.
4
What a tosser
3
Yep quite literally by the sound of it. I wonder why the cunt’s marriage broke up in the first place…
4
Made me go all dewy-eyed with nostalgia; fond memories of the Mayfair/ Men Only/ Penthouse mags that I used to find each morning on our school train – a bonus from its late night run down from London on the previous day.
Remember finding a ‘Rustler’ one day – Wahooooo – and nearly pulled the end of my knob off.
Who knows; perhaps one day we will see a resurgence of glossy wank-mags, and we can get all experty in the same way that “Vinyl is so much more faithful than digital sound, doncha know?”
Any volunteers to go on the One Show and explain why the old ‘Hard Copy’ was so much better?
12
Im just putting my mack on…
5
I remember when I finally scored, I was quite confused at the lack of fluorescent star.
6
I remember both Rustler and Hustler – particularly filthy compared to your bog standard Mayfair (from what I remember ahem…)
4
The good old days. Must admit that I was a big fan of Mayfair back in the mid-70s; I thought the presentations (if you get my drift) always looked that bit more professional, and the photography was certainly better. If I may borrow a phrase from Steve ‘Mr Potato Head’ Bruce, it had that ‘little bit qualit-ee’.
Didn’t put me off Rustler mind…
3
My missus said, “You’ve got to talk to our son. He’s always watching porn, his room is always full of porn magazines and crusty tissues.”
I went up to his room and said, “Listen son, this obsession with porn and wanking, it’s got to stop. You’re gonna go blind.”
He said, “Dad, I’m over here.”….
20
Why the fuck were wank mags, that we found along the old railway line, always full of clip sheers and slaters?
Anyone else find that as a lad?
Remember we found a German hardcore mag once. We must have been about 11. Holy fuck. My little fun size Mars bar was raging.
As for this cunt his patents should instantly change their will.
6
When I was abroad I worked with a chap who used to cut his favourite pictures out of the local magazines, not speaking the language I was rather dependant on those pictures.
One day in a fit of spite I then cut all the pictures of men out and put them in his wallet, removing the female ones.
He was injured that day, he went to hospital and his belongings were sent to his family including his wallet.
I felt bad about that briefly.
12
We had a Magazine manufacturer in Bristol. Lots of porn getting chucked in the skip every night for misprints etc, bit if bin dipping in a huge skip and floggin them at school. Bit like the Alan Sugar of his day, although the parents didn’t like it. My wallet did. Wasn’t fun getting a chaser of the security guards though!
0
Masturbating is healthy for you!
Even my GP said I could pleasure myself when I felt like it.
At least – I think that’s what he meant when he said I could have a stroke at any time!
😀
17
He probably didn’t mean in his waiting room though 😆😆😆
4
Aha! Thats why Percy is such a sex pest.😢
How is Percy-I would say “er indoors sends him her best wishes for the New Year-but that would be a fucking lie😙
1
I hope this is posted General. I’ve had difficulty posting this, saying it’s spam but Percy is a vegetarian.
Apologies for Percy coming on strong to Mrs General.
He does admit to having a rum problem, but this is mainly because he can’t get enough!
He hopes he’ll still get an invitation to help out next year!
2
My consultant recommended ejaculating once a day, it is good for the prostate. Stagnant ponds and all that.
0
Penthouse was decent.
My mate in Yorkshire was all about Readers Wives..
Anyhow,this cheeky wanker should be locked up in a monastery with demented Lesbian Nuns next door.
What a cunt.
5
Some rough birds in Readers’ Wives.
Once bought it in a panic (wanted an art pamphlet and saw tits and grabbed it).
My god. Biffas and Fag-ash Lils. Minges that looked like a rat had just been run over.
How anyone could get a stiffy looking at that lot, I’ll never know. Men Only had the best looking birds.
I heard Rose West was once in Readers’ Wives. Fucking hell lol.
3
I was happy with Readers’ Wives as I figured I’d best get used to looking at what I was most likely to end up with. In the event, over the years I (somehow) pulled some really attractive girls which was a bonus.
4
Hello Moggie
The decor was terrible in RWs.
Clashing carpets and curtains (fabric kind). 😁
3
Way to treat your parents, my mother would have kicked my bollocks out of my mouth. Total cunt, hope he gets terminal knob got.
1
Is it too obvious that you can replace the ‘er’ in his surname with ‘an’?
Anyway I’m not really sure why wanking is being cunted. It beats sex any day.
1
I started out on the”Artist Models” small booklets from Harrison Marks.
It was a while be fore I realised the airbrush had been applied to the hair bush! 🤔
Happier simpler times.
2
You must have been a posh twat as kid.
We used to shoplift ‘Health and Efficiency’ from WH Smiths. It was small enough to aid concealment and it didn’t live on the top shelf next to the real filth.
(It was the next step up the porn staircase from the underwear pages in Mum’s Freemans Catalogue).
Lots of pictures of wrinkly old nudists playing volleyball, but also a disturbingly high number of youngsters – both boys and girls – with airbrushed parts.
Very dodgy indeed, come to think of it.
2
Not posh Gunner, just skint.
Had to ferret about in shrubbery at the local park for jazz mags.
This was the early 60’s and I was very young.
Made up for lost time later though.
1