Big Foot

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For a couple of hundred years Yanks have been roaming the forests and woodlands of America, armed to the teeth, and shooting at anything that moves. Thousands of people have seen Big Foot but not a single one of these trigger happy rednecks has managed to nail the bastard and produced a body.
Hmmmm……. I wonder how that happens?

(Most sightings seem occur in rural areas with high levels of moonshine production. Just sayin’ – NA)

Nominated by: Freddie the Frog

53 thoughts on “Big Foot”

  1. https://youtu.be/m-Kvc3wbSfw

    At 17.17 you’ll hear myself and our eldest discussing what to do about Rapunzels morning routine while she barks demands from the ramparts.
    PS: she’s the unintelligible one. I blame the drinking.

  2. I saw some footage from a police car,
    Something ran across a 2 lane road in 3 steps, fast as fuck!
    On 2legs, estimated height between 7-8ft tall.
    Both coppers saw it.
    What was it?….dunno.
    Wasn’t a bear,
    If it was a hoax and a bloke in a monkey suit hes fuckin massive and faster than Hussain Bolt.

  4. I call my ex wife Sasquatch, because she was a hairy big foot. And, I’m pretty sure the person I married was a fucking myth, because the person I divorced was a twisted evil lying slapper, and I didn’t sign up for that.

  5. I’m a size 11/12 but fucking wide like snow shoes. Whilst it might advantage me walking barefoot on snow or swimming lengths, it is a complete cunt getting shoes / trainers / boots to accommodate my feet😢

    Hold on…perhaps…I……
    😧

      • Thomas-how could you think such thoughts😢

        I will ask my Uncle, who I also call Dad, if ever I see him again…

        How has your Christmas day been?
        Has that busty neighbour been over to share some Christmas cheer?😃

  6. There is a programme on that shitfest channel Discovery called finding bigfoot. Surely not finding bigfoot would be a better title, as they are on about series 12, and all they ever find are a few bear turds.
    A programme made by cunts for gullible fuckwits.

    • Yup ‘n’ after an hour of bumbling around in the dark with night cameras (and endless promo breaks with the preceding coming up next and the following recapping if what hasn’t happened yet) they find absolutely and utterly fuck all evidence of anything germane to their hypothesis, then the boys declare “yup, this place is definitely infested with them big foot varmints.”

      I watch it now and then just to be appalled by their cognitive dissonance, determination to be credulous, and pathological confirmation bias.

    • On the trail of Hitler was another one. Find a building in the forest, Hitler hiding place any evidence?? Nah….. cunts.

  7. ” Thousands of people have seen Big Foot but not a single one of these trigger happy rednecks has managed to nail the bastard and produced a body.”

    I’d love to write something about the rednecks being too busy organising armed resistance against the demonrats but it’s Christmas so I won’t.

    • I believe in Nessie, but I’ll only be convinced when it gets WJ Krankie and that stupid fat fuck the SNP have in Westminster, and leaves their putrid entrails trailing along the side of the Loch Ness A road.

      • Evening HBH.
        Aye, they seem to be having a meltdown about the “brexit” deal now…I really hope that Johnson gives them their fucking vote and settles it one way or another.

        Hope everything’s going well with you.

      • Evening m’Lud, all is well at Hubbard Hall. Had to take a break halfway through lunch to put another bottle of fizz in the deep freeze. No idiot’s lantern today, the sight of Plastic-Bumley doing some Clarence House poetry reading was puke-inducing. Looked as if she’d done her make up during grand-mal seizure.
        Must have a game stew and some Imperial Stout in the New Year. Hope you and the hounds keeping well!!

      • We all know it’s a shit deal but Krankie already had a pre-prepared speech whatever had been announced. How original of her.

        This opportunistic turd only has one agenda and once the adverse financial consequences of departing the UK are pointed out – again – I’m guessing any IndyRef2 will be a lot closer than she thinks.

        Beats me how despite oceans of extra money, free prescriptions; free University etc etc the SNPs dire record – still – hasn’t been exploited by the Opposition.

      • On another tangent, has anyone ever witnessed Aunt Bessie actually making Yorkshire puddings?

    • @ Ruff:

      Thats not Nessie-its B&W Cunt skinny dipping on his holidays in Jockland😙

  9. Admin:

    Is that David Lammy taking a selfie with Little Owen Jones in the Nom photo?
    I reckon it is, er indoors says its Lewis Hamilcunts parents👍

  10. An even rarer sighting in America is Little Fingers Trump doing his job,too busy playing golf the lucky bastard.

  11. In Yankland there are tour companies that run Discover Big Foot tours. They take these mugs to some forest while filling their heads full of shit. They trek into the woods and set up a campsite. Then some bloke makes noises during the night to scare the shit out of them.
    In the morning they stumble across an oversized footprint (hence the name) and they all take photos. Then they all trek back to the bus where they get sold books, mini Big Foots and other memorabilia.
    Probably great fun but you have to have a very low threshold of credulity. (ie be a right muggy cunt)

    • Plenty of daft cunts still walk around Rendlesham Forest looking for “evidence” of the 1980s RAF Woodbridge UFO incident, which was most likely just a bored Air Force policeman playing with the flashers on his patrol car.
      Numerous Discovery Channel and YouTube “documentaries” claim otherwise, thus providing atmospheric late night entertainment for the permanently stoned.

      Merry Christmas everyone…

      • It’s the 3am loners and stoners that will swallow any old crap. And, when challenged, it’s always the same answer- do your research, which means watching YouTube videos made by other mentalists. Peer reviewed evidence? That’s deep state shit.

  12. There’s a long running ‘documentary’ series about this in the colonies (Americashire).

    A hedge rustles a bit in the wind= “Gawd dammit Billy Bob, djoo hear that? Why that be the sasquatch, for sure. I’m gonna git me my grandpappy’s ’45 and have me a righteous rootin’ tootin’ sasquatch hunt. Dag nammit.”

    Every fucking episode, by the way.

    • Is that the same county that the aliens always visit?

      Bille Bawb, y’alls gotta believe me, dems were exPERimentin’ on me.

  13. One of the presenters on one of those Bigfoot shows said he estimated that a fully grown male bigfoot would weigh 800lbs.
    Any fucking animal that big would spend most of the day eating and you’d see the cunts going through bins at motorway services.
    A million trail cameras, never a Bigfoot….

  15. I’ve been to Loch Ness……what a load of shit! Every lay by , and there a lot of them, is packed with camper vans and caravans. I eventually got to the bank, sat there with my camera for 30 minutes, and never saw a fucking thing! There’s some kind of museum thingy called the Loch Ness Research Centre where they charge you about 8 quid to get in. Can’t remember the exact price because I didn’t pay it. Cunts!
    I’m told the West Bank (no anti Semitism please) is much less populated and where you are guaranteed to see Nessie.
    Yeah, whatever you say.

    • Maybe not Bigfoot, but they discover new species all the time, a new type of chimpanzee, a subspecies of orang utan.
      And lots of what they call ‘lazurus animals’ animals pronounced extinct only to be found thriving somewhere.
      They say about big cats in the british countryside,
      Is there, aren’t there, but found dead ones, loads of photos, scat, and prints
      I KNOW theres is!
      Know two people whos seen them, one a copper,
      And ive seen a pawprint,
      And seen a sheep killed by one,
      Wasnt a dog did it, ive seen what a dog does when worrying sheep, nowt like this!
      Not taking the mick, and not arsed if others take the piss,
      Theres big predatory cats in the UK.
      So, what else is knocking about?

      • Merry Christmas Jack 🌲🌲⛄
        I can barely blink Jack,
        Im that full.
        Had a nice drink too!😁
        Mate dropped me off a small keg of Doom Bar amber ale,
        And had a selection of ales in.
        You had a good day?

      • Yes, it’s been a good one. Walking the dog, eating, drinking and watching the telly.
        Got some Doom Bar in, for tomorrow. It’s a nice drink.😀
        Not really one for sitting around a lot, but it’s a nice change for a couple of days.
        Merry Christmas, MNC.
        Cheers !
        🍻🎄

      • WE’ve got big cats in west cornwall where I live loads of people have seen them myself and my kids included near Lands End.

      • Merry Christmas Cornish!
        You’ve seen them?
        Id love to, and will sooner or later with luck.
        I do a bit of tracking, deer etc
        What did it look like Cornish?
        I think theyre lenth & breadth of the country by now.

  16. My eldest is a Big Foot in the making. Sixteen and 6 ft 3″ already. Size 13 shoes. I call him Wolverine. He’s a bloody minded Cunt too so the apple doesn’t fall very far from the tree.
    He’s out tonight dropping off gifts to his mates and giving the ladies a fright. All in the name of a good time. His best mates are all Asian so I guess that does give him the height advantage and makes him a Big Foot proper in the company he keeps.

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