Voice-Overs on T.V programmes

Posted on by

O.K, Call me a cunt but the latest thing to boil my piss is the annoying cunt who is doing a continuous voice-over on T.V programmes.

I know its for blind/ partially sighted viewers, I am only thankful the glasses I wear sort my problems out. If the T.V companies want this to be aired can they not put it on a separate channel?

It’s usually a murder programme I’m watching, good for when Mrs CuntyMort won’t shut the fuck up. It can offend Mrs CuntyMort, when i tell her darling I’m getting a few ideas for you. Fuck me, I’m the last of the great romantics.

On one never to be forgotten occasion , I was watching the 39 steps, never seen it asked her to have a large cup of shut the fuck up, Yap yap yap. Up went the volume,Yap yap yap, up went the volume, Yap yap yap. switched off, I thought you were watching that? Sorry dear the actors couldn’t get a fucking word in edgeways. I’m going down the pub.

Nominated by: CuntyMort

57 thoughts on “Voice-Overs on T.V programmes”

    • Morning WC, beat me to it!
      Arfur pint cockney knees up smiff.
      The sound of his voice makes me murderous,
      Hes got arfur pint of spit in his mouth when talking,
      I truly hate his voice,
      Its his fault I murdered that prostitute.
      I like a nice relaxing voice

      Oliver Postgate
      Bernard cribbins
      Oliver Reed
      Fred Dibnah

    • The saggy-faced cunt has a crush on the cackhanded “arr Seera”. (The “butter-wouldn’t-melt-in- vagina” Sarah Moore)
      Bet he wanks over her the filthy old bugger.

  3. It’s the voice over cunt that tells me what program is about to start, or continue, after the ads. Fuck off. I can read the TV guide and I don’t need you telling me what I already know.

    Plus I’m an hour into Die Hard….”and now, the continuation of your Saturday night movie”.

    That was a close, I had a nasty thought for a minute it was the World Cup of Knitting coming on.

  4. CuntyMort..

    I may well be wrong here but if you’re getting a voiceover describing the situation when The 39 Steps is on,are you sure that you haven’t inadvertently turned the “audio description” feature on? I know I had the same problem when I thought that I’d turned on the “subtitles” (can’t make out what they’re mumbling about half the time) and instead hit the “audio description” feature…couldn’t work out why some windbag kept telling me what I could already see.

    If you mean voiceover as in the likes of Joanna Lumley,you’re quite right…only sound I want to hear out of that old trout is her death-rattle.

    • Of course,my television is the latest model ,,,it has features that most people will never be able to afford or understand.

      • Not since I read about Rod Hull’s hilarious “I think I’ll just fiddle about with the aerial a bit” demise….first time the Cunt ever made me laugh.

        Morning Miserable
        Morning All

      • I thought you aristocrats were supposed to feel some kind of noblesse oblige to the plebs, Lord Dick.

        Or do your dealings with the lower orders begin and end with prima nocta?

      • “Prima Nocta”.?…you obviously have never clapped eyes on most of the tarts around here…it not them that needs fear being violated…it’s fucking me.

      • Gemma and I have agreed on an “open relationship”…she gets to ride whoever she wants…and I fucking don’t.

      • I thought Gemma was Dick’s TV remote control?

        Why fiddle about with an ordinary TV remote when a comely wench like Gemma can be told “Walk to the tv, bend over and turn up the volume” or “turn to the pornhub channel” or “turn up the brightness, there’s too many dark keys”

      • Whatever happened to 3D TV?

        That’s been revived and buried more times than Jess Phillip’s underwear has seen a washing machine!

        It’s always been a load of bollocks, and wasn’t surprised when it disappeared a few years ago.

        What we want is VR TV so you can immerse yourself into a hot porno, or walk around the house of commons and boot some cunt in the bollocks

      • Lol. We have a 3D TV and supporting disc player…..I actually think it works quite well. Nothing like the early efforts at the cinema (Jaws 3D anyone?), with the crappy effects ‘popping’ out of the screen at you. More it offers a superior depth to the picture. Just my opinion though, and we’re about 15 years behind you lot with technology anyway.

        Evening Techno, evening all.

      • That bit at the end of Gemma Bovery where she’s choking and he stands behind her administering the “Heimlich manoeuvoure” ?…I’d have got stuck up her at the same time…no point wasting spasms like that.

        @ Don’tYouJudgeMe.

      • Sorry this should be after my bit about the film…out of context it makes me look like some kind of deranged sex-pest.

      • I did read something about a helmet that people can put on that lets them enter a “virtual world”…I’m holding out for one of them….just wait until I make my Grand Appearance in “Gemma Bovery”…I’ll sharp deal with that weedy Frog lad and that pathetic husband of hers….a good dose of prime Northumbrian porking,that what she needs…and if she chokes at the end of the film,it won’t be fucking bread that she chokes on….”Wind yer gums round me plums,Gemma”

    • I would agree with Dick here. On some smart-TVs there’s a settings feature that enables audio description primarily for blind cunts and deaf cunts.

      You could have a look around in your settings or simply do a Google for “how to disable voice over on smart TV” or some such variation

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMBBGdc8wrM&ab_channel=JuanCamacho

      Of course if it ain’t that then you have my sympathy if its some cunt like Smith or Perkins. Might even be Kay Burley if she gets sacked from Sky News, the two-face cunt

    • No this was definately Mrs CuntyMort giving it yap. Fucking cow. She wasn’t amused at the state I came home in. It seems to be ITV 3 that puts this bollocks on.

  5. Why the fuck do blind or partially sighted people ‘watch’ television?
    Wait for a braille version to come out then.
    Magoo cunts.

  6. Most relaxing voice and tv show is ‘the joy of painting with Bob Ross’.
    Hes like visual morphine.
    A talented landscape painter and Peter Sutcliffe look alike,
    Bob calms my blood pressure down, hes ace!!

    • MNC Sadly Bob Ross is no longer with us. In fact he isn’t with anybody having died in the 1990s. I liked his programme as well, and is now on BBC4.

      • He did 31 series WC, 32 wasnt finished as he was too poorly with cancer.
        RIP
        A decent and talented man.

  7. The only voiceover cunt that should be allowed, is the chap who does ‘Come Dine With Me’.

    Yes, I’m quite likely a cunt for watching that, but fuck me he’s funny. I’ve no idea who he is, maybe someone can enlighten me, but he tears the participants to shreds. Top man. 👍

    • His name is David Lamb, he is a professional actor.

      And you are right – it’s a shite programme and I hate myself for watching it, but his sarcastic, piss-takey voiceovers are fucking hilarious, and so the show fits into the “so bad it’s good” category.

  9. We have an optional CC (Closed Caption) feature here in the states for the “hearing impaired”, but we don’t seem to have those voice overs you cunters are on about.

    I can only imagine how truly annoying it must be. Especially when watching a Subscription/Pay Per View Porn channel.

    Merry Christmas to all. 🎄

    • General, I read that Uncle Joe plans to bring in a Federal law that trannie students in public schools should be allowed to use the bogs (restrooms in your language) of whichever gender they identify with. Is that true and what’s your take?

      • Hey Freddie,

        My honest opinion is that Ji Jing Joe doesn’t even know what day of the week it is. Today he announced his cabinet appointment to HHS…Health and Human Services.

        Despite reading from a teleprompter, the senile old cunt mispronounced the guys name and rendered the agency as “HHS, Health and Education.”

        With that said, Trannies are near and dear to the Degenerate Left and before the election, the old hair sniffer said he would fight for Tranny justice. i.e. The right to soil whatever privy they so desire.

        I think in the last few days, world class cunt Nancy Pelosi said she would introduce Tranny Justice legislature in the next Congressional session. So it wouldn’t surprise me if someone in Bejing Biden’s team announced he supports it.

        Despite what you read in the MSM, the fraudulent President-elect is facing a difficult time with his party. He is appointing a whole host of holdover Obamunists and a few Clintonistas over the objections of the foaming at the mouth left, who want BLM types and Sanders Siblings to hold all positions of power. So it wouldn’t surprise me if his handlers made a gesture just to shut them up for one 24 hour news cycle.

        But I doubt if he has any real clue. The former Senator from Citibank will read whatever they tell him to read.

        Merry Christmas to all. 🎄

      • Yeah, I don’t know why the Obamistas appeased the lefty mobs on the street when they knew they were fixing the election anyway. The street trash will be expecting pay back time and they ain’t gonna get it.
        Big trouble next summer I reckon General.

      • Enjoy it General – by the time Biden and Harris are done they may have put the Dems out of office for a generation like Brown did to Labour over here. Short term it will be painful but there will be plenty of gains in the long term.

  10. ‘Innit, bruv’ voiceovers are the ‘In thing’ at the moment. Same with continuity announcers. I thought my telly was tuned to the Harlem Broadcasting Company due to the proliferation of faux ‘ethnic’ accents, mostly spoken by stupid cunts that were born in this country which, as far as I’m aware, has no regional dialect like these insufferable cunts speak, ya get me?

    • Indeed. Bring back the good old 1940s BBC accents. Get rid of all this street patois, with white people for some inexplicable reason trying to sound like Jamaican gangsters.

    • A whistleblower sent me this fragment of typescript on BBC notepaper:

      Checklist for Radio 4 announcers.

      One point for each:
      Female?
      Lisps? (include “w” for “r”)
      Giggles?
      Chatters endlessly ( panel show applicants)
      Under 18, or convincingly sounds under 18?
      Every utterance begins “So – ” and contains “you know?”
      Upspeaks. You know?
      Glo||al stop for “t” throughout?
      Everything’s “amazing!”, “incredibull!”, “wow!”

      Three points for:
      BAME – and a bonus point for being unintelligible Nigerian feminist
      Gay
      Able to select shite music (eg grime) to accompany allegedly serious programme.

  11. Surely telly is just a radio if your blind?
    Just pat the Labrador and stick a cd on,
    Do they have to pay for a license?
    Seems a bit tight if they do.
    I think it was them that was behind the rise of David Blunkett,
    They stick together
    Like a cult.

    • Blind people are entitled to a 50% discount off the full licence fee.

      How fucking generous. Not.

      • Morning👍
        Should be free for the blind.
        Although suppose its for their own good?
        Start pampering them it will make them spoilt?

        Did you know all blind people can play piano?..fact.
        Also they have heightened sense of smell and hearing,
        Those silent dog whistles also can be heard by the blind.

        Miserablesamazingfacts.com

  12. I know it might strictly be called narration, but my favourite begins:

    “In the criminal justice system, sexually based offences are considered especially heinous…”

    A prelude to Olivia Benson pursuing pervos, kicking the bastards’ butts, and emoting on behalf of their victims. Fucking brilliant stuff with a late night cuppa.

    We need police like her and her sidekick Fin rather than the lazy fuckwits that we are stuck with here in the UK. Come on New York, send us some of your finest. Those cunts in Rotherham wouldn’t know what hit them.

    • I thought they said “….particularly anus”.
      In some episodes I sometimes find it difficult to find how the crime is sexually motivated.

      • You are right Cuntator. If I were Robert Goren, I would sometimes be at loggerheads with that pushy Liv Benson!

  13. I think this cunting is actually about having “er’indoors” chat endlessly whilst you try and watch something.
    Usually “twinned” with a stare that would freeze Hades, if you so much as breathe “noisily” whilst they watch one of their endless soaps, crime drama’s etc, etc

    Of course, being a cunt, I could be wrong😢

    @CuntyMort-great cunting, just in time for the Christmas Bond film😃👍

    • Bang on CG

      “Usually “twinned” with a stare that would freeze Hades, if you so much as breathe “noisily” whilst they watch one of their endless soaps, crime drama’s etc, etc”

      I don’t often get to watch TV in our house, mostly i can’t be arsed with ti anyway. Bet your last penny that as soon as i do her indoors will feel free to talk through it or listen to shit on her mobile sat next to me.

      Coupled with her new hobby the ‘menopause’ which means any insanity she commits is totally acceptable and my fault, I’m wondering why I thought another relationship was a good idea………

  14. Hey Cuntymort, make sure you haven’t accidentally set the TV menu for “commentary”. Many TVs have this feature.

  15. Yes well, could’ve done with a voiceover on radio 4 yesterday. Play about liverpool people…..could barely make out what the fuckers were saying.
    Dey do do dat doh dontay. f.f.s.

Comments are closed.