Motorbike Thieves

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Don’t suggest many noms but this one needs highlighting:

Motorbike thieves.

I fucking detest these scum of the earth usually druggy knob heads who pick on a guy that’s minding his own.
Cunts.

(Short and sweet and to the point. Cunts indeed. – NA)

Nominated by: Anne frank

53 thoughts on “Motorbike Thieves”

  1. Outstanding bit of cunting, and a huge thumbs upšŸ‘šŸ‘ to the Metropolitan Police who have started driving into these cunts and knocking them off.

  2. Couldn’t agree more, Anne. They are the scum of the earth and, as well as druggy cunts, I believe our Eastern European ‘friends’ also specialise in motorcycle theft.

  3. My step son was dragged off the back of his bike at a set of lights in Ladbroke grove.

    The piece of shit who mugged him then took off at high speed and was known to the police, who duly went round to have a polite chat.

    Even though the CCTV footage clearly showed a mugging / theft, the police were powerless to convict because and I quote:

    “The person who stole your bike said that you loaned it to him. We couldn’t recover the bike because the person who stole it then told us that someone stole it from him”.

    They issued a caution to the gentleman thief of colour for riding without a helmet.

    Thanks Met police! You’re the best!

    • I donā€™t care what that manā€™s origins are, he should be given an award for that, just like Tony Martin should have a few years ago.

      Play adult games, win adult prizes.

      • I had a Kawasaki adventure bike stolen a couple of years ago by pokies. It was nearly new and had been used to ferry Jonathan Rea and Tom Sykes about at the Donington WSBK meeting . I contacted the police ,was given an insurance claim number and the next day received an email sayā€™all lines of enquiry have been exhaustedā€™.

      • They really earned their money that day, the useless cunts. You should have complained to the Chief Constable. I would have.

      • He was probably too busy at a pointless meeting with the police commissioner (an ex MP who left Parliament under a cloud; something to with expenses).

      • Next time, tell them the thief shouted ‘Send the nignogs back!’ as he rode off.

        They’ll have the fucking helicopters out and half the force on the case, with hourly updates from the BBC and all the footballers taking a knee for you.

    • Great work by the owner of the bike. I noticed plod trying to stitch him up in the interview by using language that made the victim look guilty of revenge, he probably was but I couldnā€™t give a fuck as those two toe rags got the good news…….
      The only thing he did wrong was leaving the scene instead of running the cunts over a second time……

    • Just quads Mr F-F? Around this part of Essex, they have most farm machinery away. Pick-ups appear to be a favourite at the moment. There is an infamous local caravan park where I suspect most of it ends up – the rozzers never go in to check.

      • They stand out like a sore thumb up here, L.C….people ring each other and the “scrap-merchants” tend to find that they suddenly meet a tractor or pick-up carrying someone who happens to be out shooting crows…it is explained to them that there is no “scrap” for them in this area. Most locals out here tend, when needs must, to be capable of getting their message through.
        The local Copper used to be excellent too…he would pull over any pick-up or transit that was suspicious and ticket the fuck out of it….shame they closed the local station.

      • Ah yes, the local copper who grew up in the area, knew every decent person, crook and Fiddler. Sadly, these stalwarts have been replaced by…..

    • Well to be honest it cant be classed as murder more like over enthusiastic pest control.

    • I like heart warming stories like that, cheers.

      Reminds me a little of my dearly departed grandfather. He slept with an axe under his bed. He said if anyone broke into his house he’d stick it in the cunt’s head. His thinking was “I’m gonna die soon anyway so i might as well kill the cunt.”

      Fortunately for the local pikeees and thieves, they never bothered him because I have absolutely no doubt that he would’ve done what he said.

  5. Motorcycle thieves?
    Public execution, after a fortnight in the stocks being pelted with dogshit
    Sensible policies for a better Britain…

  6. I had a bike stolen about 30 years ago and found some cunt riding it. Managed to get it off him and gave all the info to the police and they never followed it up. Their attitude was, “well you’ve got it back, so what’s the problem?”
    Met Police were even cunts back then.

  7. Thats the hammer, thieving cunt dead, one such scrote nicked a Yam R1 in Cardiff and the bike sorted the fucker out, it helps if you can ride what you steal, the family were saying what a nice guy he was and his kids will miss him and all that bollocks, everyone is better off without the cunt…….good fucking ridence, no doubt his Mrs was humping his best mate an hour after the funeral so if there is an after life he gets to replay where things went wrong for him, soon as the fucker was born i expect, so cunts produce cunts who produce cunts who produce cunts only Yamaha could break the chain, so indirectly Valentino Rossi has help unfuck the world……well done Rossi

    • A tad off topic but did you catch the brilliant MotoGP meeting at PortimĆ£o? Dorna managed a 15 round championship despite Chinky Fluā€™ . All concerned deserve a vote of thanks.

  9. Thieves in general, it ainā€™t yours so keep your fucking hands off it. Iā€™ve had two bikes nicked, got them both back luckily.

    Saw a story the other week where an old man had a Norton commando stolen from his house, he was in his 70ā€™s and had bought it new back in the day, maintained it and cherished it all those years.

    Whoever took it probably knew all that but all they saw was the money the parts would bring in.

    Sneaked it out of his shed or garage undercover of the night.

    Personally Iā€™d like to take the thief somewhere remote and under cover of the night perform an operation on his hands and feet with a lump hammer.

    The anti thieving cunt operation.

  10. I know sod all about bikes but can add this..my brother in law had his Foggy Rep stolen from his Fort Knox garage, which was taken out through a hole the thieves had cut in the roof.
    Fuck knows how they hoisted it out….

  11. Police donā€™t really give a fuck about vehicle theft, and havenā€™t for years. Itā€™s almost seen as a victimless crime if itā€™s taken while you arenā€™t on/in it. Crime number for the insurance and off you go. No one in authority gives a fuck at the upheaval this causes, or how much you had scrimped and saved, and gone without to get it. Personally, if I saw a gang of blokes beating some cunt to death with hammers, and they said it was a bike/car thief, or a burglar, Iā€™d want in on it.
    I canā€™t remember where it was, but Iā€™m sure I read last week about some scum cunt being chased on a stolen bike, an the cunt crashed and killed himself. The parents of this maggot and other locals kicked off because they blamed the police for chasing him. At that point you would like to see the scene from Schindlerā€™s list, where the krauts clean out the Warsaw ghetto reimagined on that sink estate.

    • I await the time to arrive and it surely will ,when some cunt who stole your bike 6 months earlier, injures themselves ā€˜ because YOU did not maintain it properly.

    • I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said ‘Are you going to help?’ I said ‘No, six should be enough.’

  12. It would be appropriate to chain the thieving cunts between two motorbikes and drag them into two or more pieces.
    See if it helps the crime stats at all.

  13. My Nephew had his XL250 stolen some years ago – got a call to say some well known local thieves were in the park riding an XL250 around – these are pretty rare bikes and even the can of blue paint they had used did not cover the identifiable areas.
    Police called, told my Nephew he had no proof it was his and if he touched it he would be arrested and the bike impounded by the Police at a cost of Ā£10.00 a day until the Court case.
    This generous offer was refused, the bike was recovered by some large and scary Men ten minutes after the cops left and the 3 young ruffians were clearly not right in the head as they were whining about being battered and hospitalised by these chaps, as the alleged perpetrators were all together practising their ballroom dancing – the Police told them there was “no proof” who had made a mess of them.
    More to the point – there’s some big vicious brute going around with a baseball bat attacking criminals – we need to find this maniac!
    Tracking devices are available for around a tenner and worth their weight in gold for farmers, no need to involve the cops..

    • You sum the situation up well. We are arriving at a point when decent folk will have to accept ā€˜alternative routesā€™ to look after their possessions.
      Who would have thought that the ā€˜Defund the policeā€™ movement will be taken up by decent people?

      • The libtards will tell you that being harsh on criminals doesn’t work.

        That is bollocks.

        Mayor Juliani in New York was tough on crime and halved crime in the city.

        Not many burglaries in Saudi Arabia last time I checked. Not many smackheads on the streets in South East Asia either because the cunts get executed or jailed for 500 years in a rat infested cage.

  14. A mate of mine is a tree surgeon. He left his new climber on a rural job whilst he went to tip off. The local pie-keys turned up and hooked up the chipper behind their transit and drove off.
    His climber was up the top of a tree. Only I young lad and about 5ā€™4ā€ and 10 stone, yet he shimmed down the tree and and chased them in his hilux.
    They pulled over and claimed it was their mates chipper. He calmly unhooked it, and took it off them.
    I met this lad and he was a quiet, well mannered young man.
    With balls like King Kong šŸ‘

    • Good for the laddie…there’s not many would have done that.

      “I met this lad and he was a quiet, well mannered young man”…most tree-cutters are,LOL.

      Evening General.

      • Evening Sir Fiddler:
        It was lucky for them that the young lad hadnā€™t gone to rip off, as his guvnorā€™ is 6ā€™8ā€ and is one of the most intimidating people I know. Hard as nails. This was 15 years ago-he is still ā€œgroundingā€ today, heading towards 80šŸ‘

      • Funny job title that. Tree surgeon. Do they get fitted up in mask and gown like a real surgeon? Does a sexy young assistant mop his brow at certain moments? I suppose if he’s saving the life of a tree the tension must be unendurable for all concerned. Yes after a three hour operation the he must be truly exhausted. But relieved the weight on his shoulders has finally gone.

      • Call them Arborist or Arboriculturist then miles.
        A bit like gardener or horticulturist, mechanic or motor vehicle technician.

        Or lawyer and cuntšŸ˜‰

      • There’s another word related CF. An ‘arbour’. That’s like an alcove in a garden; the surrounds made of twisted branches. Rossetti placed Jane Morris in one for a painting he did of her. Clutching a flower to her chest.
        I wonder does Mr Fiddler have one in his garden? Maybe he has and sits there of an afternoon in the same pose? Who knows.

  15. Completely off topic, but did they catch the coloured gentleman who beat up a health worker on a London bus? Haven’t heard anything since.

  16. Off topic again, I see itā€™s now official:
    We really are being governed by the Rt.Honourable Tim Nice-But-Dim MP-

    ā€œChristmas is the time to be jolly, now also the time to be jolly careful.ā€

    ā˜¹ļøā˜¹ļøā˜¹ļø

      • In no wise meant as a defence of BJ, but at least he (partially) wrote his own speech on this occasion. You can tell Mr Cummings really has left the building!
        Amongst several variants on a Christmas theme, the exact “season to be jolly.. \careful/” pun was precisely predictedĀ¹ by YT to a colleague yesterday. We are both barristers, and in between embarrassing banter down the 19th hole, we like to play these public schoolboy games.

        Ā¹He is a right wankerĀ², but he is even better at parsing the precise wording than I am.

        Ā² thanks, but no obvious rejoinders on this one, thanks. It has already been done, ta

  17. As a lifelong biker and the owner of seven motorcycles I completely agree with this cunting. It brings joy to my heart when thieving cunts get killed pinching somebody’s pride and joy. I have had three bikes nicked in the past, one I got back when we had an effective Police force that actually did its job and found the bike abandoned, one disappeared without trace and the last one was recovered by myself and a very large nasty biker mate from a motorcycle breakers in the next town, luckily we got there before it was stripped down. Plod wasn’t the least bit interested in a breaker buying bikes with no documentation.

    • @Dozy

      This story should warm the cockles of your heart:

      Years ago I had a Fireblade and used to ride out with two mates-one had a 996sps and the other Gsxr750, so all fast bikes and experienced riders. The rider of the Gsxr was also a fairly senior copper.
      On this day, we were coming back from a coastal run when we were joined by a police bike rider, we slowed down and he went past, he then slowed to 40 in a 60 zone-long straight, sunny day, clear conditions, no oncoming traffic, so my mate in the Gsxr indicated and passed him, we followed, sticking to mud 50ā€™s.
      The cunt put on blues and pulled us.
      We pulled into a lay-by, got off the bikes, helmets and gloves off-very polite.
      This lad obviously had a row with his missus or a bollocking at work, as his attitude stunk.
      We had done nothing wrong, all legal, bikes pristine etc.

      Eventually, my mate on the Gsxr asked him what was he hoping to achieve?
      He replied along the lines of, I suggest you shout it ā€œmateā€, before you find yourself well nicked.
      My mates requested to see his id-which he produced-rank: cuntstubble.
      My mate pulls his out: Detective Chief Inspector.
      It was hilarious, he went fucking white, got on his bike and fucked off.
      šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚

  19. Not had a motorbike stolen, but I had my bicycle nicked when I was at Poly in Leicester (circa 1987). I was devastated. It was my mode of transport to/from college, clocking up about 10 miles per day. Gave me independence and saved me money by not riding the bus. Plus it had been a Christmas/birthday present from my parents several years prior. Fucking thieving cunts!

    According to the rozzers, there were gangs of bicycle thieves operating at that time. They’d pull up in a Transit, jump out, bolt cutter a bunch of bike locks, then load them up and disappear. I was away from my bike for maybe 25 minutes.

    I’ve only had 2 things nicked in my life (so far). That bike and a painting which some removal company decided to keep but claimed it had ‘gone missing/lost in transit’. I’m still pissed off about both.

    There are some bad things I can tolerate, but thieving is beyond the pale. If it don’t belong to you, fucking leave it alone.

  20. I remember being told about someone who owned such a highly desirable motorcycle that he kept it locked inside his garage.
    The cunts who nicked it used a JCB to rip the garage roof off and lift the bike out.
    Sounds plausible.

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