Britain’s Got No Talent

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Another cunting is surely due for that once (quite) good programme that graces our TV screens on an otherwise boring Saturday evening; hoping to prise our hard-earned cash from our hands, that is BGT, aka Britain’s Got Talent.

Wondering how long Ant, Dec, Amanda and David will be associated with this farce in future, as it seemed to be a case of ‘spot the white’ tonight!

Nominated by: knobrot 

52 thoughts on “Britain’s Got No Talent”

  2. Let’s get back to a good old Saturday night like in the 70s
    What about the black and white minstrel show…..?
    Very balanced….. it even buys the black before the white in the title….
    Perfect for black history month…

    • A great idea – I can see Lammy and Dawn Butler tapping their toes as they’re waiting for the Robert E. Lee in their golden slippers. They would walk a million miles for a Diane Abbott smile as they tapdance by the old man river. Oh Suzanna!

  3. Astonishing that there are still millions of utter retards who still watch this shite.
    Actually, not astonishing at all.

  4. The five in the black I’d like to shoot, the one in the pink I’d like to shoot my load inside her.

    TV for the masses, like Strictly shows how dumb the bulk of the British public are. Just like I struggle to get a good quality ale or stout in a supermarket, I struggle to find something on television I can watch.

    My pet hate is the ‘coming up on tonight’s show’ before it starts. I don’t want it spoilt, I just to watch it. That and adverts why anything we do watch is recorded.

    Seen about 15 minutes of this once and found it painful. Even imagining how many ways I could do Amanda Holden didn’t make it viewable. The annoying Williams, the up herself half dark key and Simon Bowels. Fuck that!

  5. Britain’s got talent.
    Thats true, it has.
    But you won’t find it on this shower of shite.
    Mentals, dole moles, and assorted wannabes judged by B list judges.
    Dont waste your Saturday .

      • Opportunity knocks with Hughie Green was one I remember.
        Early 70s, sat with my grandparents watching people play the spoons, ventriloquists, impersonating Frank Spencer, Lena Zavaroni “MA HES MAKING EYES AT ME!!
        Hughie talked out the side of his mouth like a american gangster.
        Turns out he couldnt keep his dick in his pants.
        Maybe Lena was grassing him up?

    • You have struck a chord there, MNC.

      Indeed, don’t waste your Saturday evenings. They are far too short and far too precious to be indulging this shit.

      I wonder how many have stopped to consider this?

      • Too true Paul. Stick your missus in front of the telly with a bottle of Proseco and a tube of Pringles and fuck off fishing or see your bit on the side or something. Fucking cunts!

  6. I still don’t know (or care) which one is Ant or Dec. I do know that they are both cunts though and that BGT is a lowest common denominator sack of shit and always has been.
    Amanda Holden? I know the name. Nothing more.
    Cunts.

    • Ant is the dôwn-syndrome chimp with £60 million and Dec is the drink-driving cry-baby who crashes into walls with £60 million although it could be the other way round. Both are cunts who would suck off their dead grandpa if there was money involved.

  8. I often have Paul, when my bloody wife sits through every episode of that camp wankfest Strictly Come Mincing. How people can watch this crap once, let alone every week astonishes me.

  9. BGC. Britain’s got Cunts!
    There’s half a dozen of them in this nom’s header pic for starters.

  10. The Wholden Whore might be fit but I’m pretty sure I’d catch something off her.
    Personally I wouldn’t touch her with yours.

      • I keep having to remind you gentlemen that Les Dennis has been up her arsehole….remember the dressing room cum stain story?

      • One hand on the buzzer and one hand behind your back…

        We surveyed 100 people and asked them to name something that’s been up Amanda Holdens arse.

        You said Simon Cowell….our survey said top answer!!!!

  11. I thought freak shows were banned in 1980. This shite is just the same but presented under the illusion of a ‘talent show’. Fuck off and take the X Factor and that shit with you…

  12. Amanda Holden is the most superficial self obsessed cunt on tv, but I think I love her, she makes my cock ache.

  13. Anyone know if King of Cunts Cowell has recovered from his accident? I’ve been losing sleep worrying about him.

  15. Britain’s Got Talent suffered its lowest-ever viewing figures for a final last night (October 10). The ITV show’s 2020 final was watched by an overnight average of just 5.8 million.
    Go woke go broke.

  16. Never forget that Sir Lenny Henry came from this sort of show. Proves the pointlessness of them really. I’ve never found any of his “work” funny or interesting.

    And what about Little Mix: The Search.

    The search for what ffs? Some minute smidgin of talent which they are utterly lacking in?

    The best act on Opportunity Knocks was a guy who smashed himself over the head with a tin tea tray. Compared to the dull, insipid, uninspiring, unoriginal current breed that was true talent.

    It’s all lowest common denominator crap served up to a moronic Saturday evening family audience who have just ordered a pig’s trough of trashy food through Did Somebody Say Just Eat.

  17. Britain’s Got Talent; X-Factor; The Voice…. all interchangeable cry-fest shite usually with that cunt Cowell pulling the strings. And all following each other on Saturday nights like a miasma of shite in a Calcutta public toilet. I’m perpetually amazed a class act like Tom Jones has the time of day for this cuntery when he could be trousering £100k a night in Las Vegas instead and shagging a few showgirls.

    The only one of these shows I ever watched was The Jump because every series some idiot non-celebrity would break a leg or hobble off in pain accompanied by (the great) Bazza Davies commentary. Sadly I see it’s been removed from the schedules as the insurance premiums were getting too excessive.

    Oh and I would definitely jump Amanda Hold-my-cock.

  18. Who are those people in the nomination picture?
    I haven’t watched broadcast television in a long time.
    Why is the blonde lady wearing pink? Has she come from an aerobics class?
    Everyone else is wearing black clothes and black hair.

  20. Cunt tv, made by cunts, starring cunts, showcasing nobody cunts, and watched by mouth breathing cunts.

  21. All a pile of shit and glad it has recently lost half a million viewers.
    Presented and stars some of the most pointless, annoying and cuntis people on the planet. Hopefully it will loose more viewers over the coming weeks as people start to see what shit it really is.
    I bet Simon Cowell is spitting feathers from his hospital since that bag of soot, Ashley Banjo did his anti Police dance and started the downward spiral. Long may it continue; the spiral I mean.

  22. In the Cunters dictionary this would be the definition of ‘What a pile of cunt’ ©️ Black and White Cunt..
    I caught the odd bit of this over the years and it’s truly awful…you have Cunt and Dec fake laughing and generally being the cunts they are, those past it slaaags Alesha and Amanda and that bender cunt David Walliams all feeding from the trough and not giving a damn how shite it is.
    This whole celebration of cuntishness is propped up by the trash that watch it, that says a lot abaaaht the trash we have in this country.
    Is that Pop Idol shite still going… you know the one where the winner never has a hit record after ‘Winning’ 😂
    Go fuck yourselves.

  23. Would like to demonstrate my talent on Amanda Holden, obviously not fussy she let Les Dennis shag her.
    She looks fucking good for a woman who is almost 50, as for BGT what a pile of crap.

  24. Fuck off once quite good. What kind of troll shit is that ? Its always been a collection of mental cases and work shy ” I wannabe a mega star but won’t put the years of blood sweat and tears in”.

  25. Simon Cowell fucked over the music business and then he fucked over light entertainment on television.
    It really is a desperate state of affairs.
    Growing up, there was always a plethora of entertaining television on just two main channels-great sports shows-
    Dickie Davies and World of sport
    Grandstand
    Match of the day was cunt free

    Game shows that we’re genuinely funny.
    Early evening drama-strongly written, well acted.
    Proper entertainment.

    It all changed when uncontrolled immigration changed the demographic of this once fine nation-programmes either scrapped as they might offend non whites, presenters replaced by non whites to facilitate the indoctrination of white face bad/colourful face good.
    It was dumbed down, sadly it has never arisen from those depths.

    Cunts👎

    • Bollocks all that.
      Football , football , rugby , more football , and football.
      All fucking day , if it wasn’t cricket or athletics.
      ‘Game Shows’ were a fucking joke.
      Mornings were schools programs.
      Totally fucking dismal shite.
      The first night of Ch4 showed promise , but it was all downhill from there.
      Also , back in the 70’s , there was real peer-pressure to have watched , and like , certain offerings – which I resent.
      Python , Blackadder , Muppets , Star Wars etc etc. All shit.
      Nothing memorable.
      Keep it.

  27. Methinks my show will be a winner – Britains got talons!
    A mutated eagle is released into the studio, bets are placed beforehand on who it claws to death first – Pants, Dick or if it kills Walliams or Cowpat as it attempts to peck and claw the hamsters out of their arses.
    Dixon be bringing drinks and ting!
    Proper Saturday night entertainment! 😀👍
    Never seen this shite – better things to do with my time TBH.

  28. Britain’s got anything but Talent by the looks of the useless, talentless fucks pictured above.
    Any & Dec? Talent? These pair of Cunts are about as much use as Anne Frank’s Drum Kit!

  29. Aren’t most of the winners foreigners? Well apart from that spaz that won it, the one that couldn’t talk. No I don’t watch it but unfortunately I know and have to listen to people that do.

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