The French Navy

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A heartfelt, belt round the ear with a stale baguette cunting for Frog naval vessel P726 ‘Aramis’ and its crew; ‘honourable’ representatives of their nation.

Eye-witness reports (backed up by photographic evidence) relate how a dangerously overloaded inflatable carrying sixteen migrants was struggling in the Channel, a mile inside Did the French accept responsibility and offer assistance as they should have, taking them on board and carrying them back to France? Nope. Instead the vessel despatched its own inflatable with a crew of two, to observe the plight of the migrants. It’s further reported that the Frogs, on checking that the dingy was managing to stay afloat, ‘shepherded’ the migrants into UK waters and then pissed off, effectively abandoned them to the vagaries of fate. Not for the first time, I’m sure

Nominated by: Ron Knee

58 thoughts on “The French Navy”

  1. We want you
    We want you
    We want you as a new recruit!
    Sang the village people in a recruitment drive for other red blooded men’s men to take to the seas!
    Loved seamen the village People!
    Imagine their disgust at the French Navy?!!
    A bunch of garlic scented floating homosexuals!
    Helping the cockroach people into merry old England!!
    We should declare war on France, wipe them out and take their lands.

    • Afternoon Miserable, yes we should have a few destroyers sitting in the Channel and sinking these dirty, jabbering foreigners with their backward ways and questionable hygiene, but enough about the French, lets deal with the other cunts first.

      • Afternoon LL.
        We hate the french and they hate us back.
        It didnt get resolved in the hundred year war, think its time to get this finished myself!
        Letting those 3rd world vermin float here!!
        Then want our fish!
        EU would stop posturing if we declared war on France wouldnt it?😀
        Theyd fuckin shit it!!
        Blow their navy to fuck and offer them out, watch them back pedal then.
        Cheeky ocean going cunts.

      • I have been rewatching the ‘Sharpe’ series with Sean Bean. Something about a gruff northerner yelling “C’mon lads, lets give it to these Frenchie bastards” and clubbing said Frenchie’s with a musket.

      • TT MNC@ – “The ISAC French booze cruise”.
        Will disguise our true intentions – indicated by the grapeshot, muskets and longbows being loaded onto The Black Pig! (And some sides of beef – none of that foreigh shite – how the hell can you fight when you have to dredge a canal for your dinner? – dirty buggers).
        Anyone bringing back more than fifty Frenchy ears will get a bottle of French red wine.
        And that foul vinegary shit will be immediately smacked over the head of a gurning gallic prisoner and replaced by a wholesome pint of Guinness! 😄👍

  2. Why did we ever think that the French would keep their side of any agreement? The next time they do will be the first time ever. Cunts, one and all.

      • Your definition may be the historical meaning of decimate, but I was using the modern definition, which is:

        ‘kill, destroy, or remove a large proportion of.’

      • Like so many other mutilations of the language, I do not accept this.

        Have just turned off two Gen X little girls chattering about podcasts on R4Ex, and nearly every other word was ‘like’. The letter ‘t’ was not used. I feel particularly strongly about the debasement of English.

      • Like everything else these days the OED is utterly fucked. You wait until the wokes get hold of it and start removing words they don’t like, like ‘white’.

        Point being, we used to have a word which meant something like ‘selective elimination of members of a group in order to punish the rest’.
        While this would be susceptible to loose usage without completely nullifying its intended meaning – for instance, perhaps, “It is proposed that traffic on the M1 be decimated in order to reduce congestion”,
        to declare that the original meaning has ceased to exist, is to leave us without any word which conveys it.

        Let me add an example:
        ‘gay’

        The original meaning is now extinct.
        There is no concise word for what ‘gay’ used to convey.

        Yours pedantically, but that shouldn’t bother you.
        Komodo

  3. The French have wanted to remove the crap for years, the Calais route isn’t efficient enough, but the dingy routes are easy, no one on the beaches, no problem.
    When the illegals are dragged off lorries in Calais by the UK border force they are handed to the French police, the French police escort them from the port and then release them.
    When locals are interviewed they say the boats launch in the early hours, not a gendarme in sight, if they are spotted by the French coast guard once they are in the channel, are they intercepted, not a chance.
    Cunts!

  6. France is a warzone otherwise the Illegals would’ve stopped there. The Battle of Baguette Bay was where the Horse-eaters’ navy easily outran the Somalian dinghy-rowers; the battle of Croissant River where they brilliantly avoided having any casualties due to their boats’ speed; alas, it was at the Battle of Frogs Legs Creek where they came unstuck when the brave sailors of Le Poltron all tragically drowned as their cardboard boat sank.

    • Their army was also wiped out in the clearing of the Calais ‘Jungle’ camp El Cap. After sending in a squad of armoured personnel carriers, they discovered due to a factory fuck up, there was no reverse gear and were quickly overwhelmed by large gangs of aspiring architects and Uber drivers.

      • I did not know that, Liquors. However, I was aware that MI6 had sent covert spies to the Calais Jungle to infiltrate and weaken their aggression and glean genetic samples. Special Agent Lily Allen 0069 managed to extract a lot of information.

        Lily Allen 0069: Licence to Shrill.

  7. French Navy? What fucking French Navy?!
    I wasn’t aware there was a French Navy. Last time there was a French Navy, Nelson kicked their arses at Trafalgar and they haven’t seen any action since then.

    The world and his dog knows they are surrender monkeys. The most useless and spineless country in Europe who couldn’t fight their way out of a paper bag.

    Nuke France, I say. Nuke the soap dodging garlic reeking cunts.

    • Yep they’re right up there (or should it be down there?) with the Italians when it comes to running off.

  8. I think a skirmish in the English Channel between the English and French navies is quite overdue.
    Lord Nelson would be proud.
    Bring the cunts on.

  9. Q: What’s the new French flag look like?
    A: A white cross emblazoned on a white background!

      • Evening Bertie!
        Best thing I ever stole from a Sue Ryder shop that jokebook.

        Bobby Davro paid off his mortgage on the back of that book.😀

  12. Apparently rewriting the Brexit trade agreement (or something – I’m not up on the details) will damage our reputation abroad. Apparently we’re trusted. Hollow laughter.

    What the fuck are we doing with a reputation? Reluctant kudos to the arch-cunt Moshe Dayan for expressing the foreign policy to be adopted by Israel. It should be regarded by its neighbours, he said, as a mad dog.

    We should start by getting rabid on the arses of the French, the woke and these fucking migrants. And continue indefinitely.

  13. Hitler’s lot took just six weeks to take France, the whole fucking lot.
    They have always been as soft as shit. Always will be.

  17. We can blame the white flag wine merchants all we want, but they know once the cunts are in U.K. waters, it’s adeiu Mohammed, as the will not be sent back to France, or deported back to their country of origin. Since we have given up having any military, all the bases they used to occupy are now being repurposed, air bases are now having new housing built on them, and barracks that once housed the regiments that kept us safe are being used as migrant welcome centres. All those that make it to the promised land phone home and tell them how great it is, and how to get here.
    Until we have a government that will act, this will continue, and with far bigger numbers.

  18. Step forward B&W Cunt-you have stated that you dream of being a Jamaican Pirate, even proudly display a Caribbean pirates flag as your avatar.
    Last night you stated your desire to sample every type of foreign quim, particularly French and Pakistani (its true fellow cunters-the Lily Allen thread).

    Well, my priapic young Jedi, oil up your “lightsabre”, shake out your family’s flag and fire up the Audi: Dover awaits, Vernon has fuelled the “Black Pig”, step aboard Captain Bwacunt’, clean up the Channel, then the continent awaits.
    Aaaaaaaahhhtention!

  19. Step forward B&W Cunt-you have stated that you dream of being a Jamaican Pirate, even proudly display a Caribbean pirates flag as your avatar.
    Last night you stated your desire to sample every type of foreign quim, particularly French and Pakistani (its true fellow cunters-the Lily Allen thread).

    Well, my priapic young Jedi, oil up your “lightsabre”, shake out your family’s flag and fire up the Audi: Dover awaits, Vernon has fuelled the “Black Pig”, step aboard Captain Bwacunt’, clean up the Channel, then the continent awaits.
    Aaaaaaaahhhtention!

    • A topping idea Sir Cuntfinder – a shilling for every French skull, darken the sky with arrows, threaten them with deodorant – have at the fkers! 😄👍

      • A shiny guinea for the first man who brings me michelle Barniers head!
        We’ll make for Luxembourg after sacking France, theyve got it coming too!
        A extra ration of rum for every man jack!!
        Death or glory!🇬🇧🇬🇧

      • That’s the spirit cunters-have at em!

        In other news, reports of a shaven headed Lewis Hamilton type escaping apprehension from Kent police, driving an Audi at 145mph, M23 for Dover.
        Someone we know?

  20. I may be becoming the pub bore on here cos I’ve said it several times. The D-Day landings should have been at Rotterdam. The frogs are ungrateful, obnoxious and full of shit. The old Napoleon complex. Fuck off you cunts.

  21. Ahh, the French. Those frog and snail eating cunts that smell of putrid garlic. The French with backbones of yellow stale piss. The French who think they should be adopted as the universal language. The French whose leader back in WW2 fled to good old Blighty because he shit his pants when Adolph invaded. The French who offload flee infested illegals on to us on a daily basis. The French who with thier good old new friends the Krauts control the shitfest otherwise known as the EU. WELL FUCK THE FRENCH, THEY ALWAYS HAVE BEEN AND ALWAYS WILL BE UTTER TWO FACED BACK STABBING CUNTS.

  22. Wish our cuntish leaders would imbibe some of the French fuck everyone attitude. Always works out well for them. If nothing else their deportation system runs like a dream.

  25. We should pull out of NATO along with the Yanks. That would totally fucked the EU and their EU army plans. Utter Cunts, 1st Class.

  26. Nothing a 10 Min Strafe off a warthog couldn’t fix. Boris should do one thing right an borrow one off Tango.

  27. Whilst the frogs are, undeniably, cunts , if the situation was the other way around, wouldnt we do the same thing? Just sayin’, like.

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