Wannabe Suicides by Desperate Celebs

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I read a tabloid headline recently in which a footballer claimed that he had been so depressed that he had thought of killing himself. Only he didn´t. Otherwise, he would not have been talking about it. He gushed that his kids had given him back the will to live. Wasn´t that nice and aren´t we all pleased that he is still around?

I get fed up with celebrity types who make out they were on the verge of suicide but stepped back. If you really intend killing yourself then there are foolproof ways of doing so like jumping off a high building, lying in front of a train or shooting yourself in the head. You don´t even need to give any warning and have second thoughts. I know someone who just walked out of the house one morning and was found dead in a pond that afternoon. He had not changed his routine in the slightest beforehand or left a suicide note.

Most of these people who say they felt like doing away with themselves are obviously not serious. I understand they might have a problem and want to attract attention or gain sympathy but why talk about it in public?

Nominated by: Mr Polly 

…and Two In The Stink

know I’m not supposed to comment on noms but I feel the need to with this one.

The main issue I take is with the factual inaccuracy. After having spent a lot of time since October researching suicide methods and statistics and the psychology and physiology of humans before, during and in some case AFTER suicide attempts, suicide isn’t as simple as ” you want to do it, you’ll do it”.

People have been known to survive a skydive with an unopened parachute, jumping off a building has a fairly high success rate but your last moments will be ones of fear whilst you literally piss and shit yourself and probably regret it before the ground comes up to kiss you goodnight (plus jumps sometimes result in survival and crippling).

Jumping in front of a train will cause some serious PTSD for the train driver and if done incorrectly or with a last second abortion of the attempt can result in a slower, more painful death in the hospital (happened to a guy in my town who tried it at a busy level crossing).

Guns are not easy to come by in the UK and Aspirin overdose, is slow, painful, has a very low chance of success and sometimes people in the middle of a liver poisoning-enduced hallucinatory state end up walking into a hospital only then to receive treatment but then spent the rest of their lives with fucked organs and bleeding from the anus on a regular basis (used to happen a lot to a girl my mate was dating). The human body and sub conscious are very resilient things indeed.

You are right-ish though when you say if somebody is going to do it, they are going to do it but it’s not as easy as you make out. This is partly due to the success/failure rate, lack of concrete information due to the huge cultural stigma, self-righteous do-gooders spreading misinformation on the internet to dissuade people from doing it and the fact that people (unless complete masochists) want the quickest, least painful, most comfortable way possible – this is why Dignitas put people under and give a lethal injection rather than hacking people up with a machete or beating them to death.

I know of 4 effective, fairly quick and/or painless methods if done right but I’m not going to mention them in this post because that probably violates the forum rules and may even fall foul of the law. (Indeed – admin)

(Given the delicate subject matter, please use good judgement with your replies – Day Admin)

39 thoughts on “Wannabe Suicides by Desperate Celebs”

  1. Depression is a real thing. I’m not going to applaud anyone deciding to end it all.

    Besides the cunts I’d be happy to see gone are never the ones that go.

  2. Do you know why suicide rates are so high in the modern age?, I’ll tell you, it’s got worse in the soshul meeja age as every cunt is exposed to the polished, abridged and fairytale life of every fucker around them, when often behind the facade they are as fucking miserable as you are, putting a brave face on to hide their own insecurities, often I find these types who show off by buying new cars and general shit they can’t afford, take this option, as the embarrassment of not being able to keep up with the Jones’ becomes to much as there is a rope and a strong beam in the garage, and all this is aided and abetted by banks, gambling and these wannabe celebs, what’s wrong with just not giving a fuck like I do myself, lady Quimson is a right dog these days, I couldn’t give a fuck, my car is old, don’t give a fuck, don’t like me, the feeling is mutual cunt!

    • This is simply spot on Captain.
      A cry for help?
      No a cry for more “likes” on the social media.
      Endeavour to persevere.

  3. Many of the people who are thinking about it never mention it and often they’re the people that actually attempt it.

    You never completely know what’s going on inside of someone’s head.
    It can be a person who seems like the most happy, outgoing, carefree person, and they look like they have everything to live for…sometimes its all an act.

    This is a very delicate issue and for reasons I don’t want to go into, a bit sensitive for me. I’ve never considered it, but I’ve known of people that have, and I’ve seen what it does to their families.

    I’ve never understood why in the past it has been seen as a coward’s way out or the easy way out.
    I wouldn’t be brave enough to do it.

    Look after yourselves.

    • On a serious note for once, I agree with Harold. A friend of mine took that dreadful route out 25 years ago in 1995. We were quite close but I had no idea he was in such turmoil. As I had spoken to him only 2 days before and everything seemed normal, you can’t get over the feeling that if you had listened harder, or been more aware of very little signs, tiny things that only add up after time (suffice it to say in this case the widow was remarried a short time later), you might have said something that might have prevented it.

    • Yes Harold Steptoe – that is absolutely spot-on. People who say that people who attempt it are cowards are simpletons who just parrot mawkish slogans without putting any though into them whatsover.

      In ages gone by, cowardice meant running FROM danger and FROM death or as went the old Roman proverb “Timidi Mater Non Flet” (a coward’s Mother weeps not).

      Certainly nothing cowardly about doing that which goes against every natural instinct we as humans have. Brave as fuck if you ask me……. which is why I’m still here – fucking coward like.

      • TITS….I really wasn’t going to comment but I certainly have put some thought into it and do believe that in some cases people who commit suicide are cowards.
        I knew someone who chose to take his own life rather than face up to the mess that he had created. He left his young family to deal not only with the financial mess that he had created but his death too.

        There was nothing brave about what he did.

      • I have no sprogs and have never even had a girlfriend let alone a spouse so no mess to be cleaned up by anybody aside from the person who finds me swinging (not the good kind of swinging I hasten to add).

      • I’m certainly not saying that everyone who commits suicide is a coward… I just think that in some cases the braver thing to do would be to realise that their family still needed them even if things had gone badly. They put their own feelings above their own family.

        Best wishes to you, TITS.

      • I don’t think you’re a coward TiTS.

        It also takes courage to face up to life. I must admit there are times when things gets to you. The fact that you are still here now is to your credit.
        2018 was not a good year for me for lots of reasons, but 2019 and 2020 – even with corona bat flu, have been much better.

        It looks as if you know some Latin, and you appear to be self aware, which to me would suggest you’ve some intelligence. More than can be said for a lot of folk out there.

        Chin up mate.👍

  4. I slipped away from the wife’s bed for a quick chat with the Doctor in the corridor.

    I said, “Excuse me Doctor, can you tell me how soon after the procedure will I be able to have sex with my wife..?”

    He looked me straight in the eye and said, “Nobody has ever asked me that before and I’ve been with Dignitas for seven years.”….

  5. Highly recommend watching the video on the Golden Gate bridge jumpers. The survivors all said the same thing; despite their resolute conviction, the moment their feet left the bridge they experienced regret at the choice they had just made.

    There’s nothing worth killing yourself over except untreatable unbearable physical pain or terminal illness.

    Drop some of your material needs/wants/desires, the job, cunts in your life, or even the country you live in, and see if that doesn’t snap you out of that god damn mood. A good preventative philosophy is a ‘fuck you’ attitude – ISAC is good medicine!

    Men suicide more. There’s much I want to say on this, but in short you owe society nothing. Free your mind.

    • Not a funny subject, and to consider it your in a unhappy place.

      TITS@
      Take care of yourself,
      Listen to Quickdraw hes a smart lad, DOG bless you.👍👍

  6. Thank god my trans-pigmentation therapy is working out or I`d be in the same boat.

    And as for the full-stop-frightened flakes in a recent previous cunting, here`s an ellipsis & several colons ! … : : : : : : : : : : : : : :

    Ha!

  7. I have my cat, he needs me, there is something about having an animal that depends on your existence to give you peace of mind.

    That’s the last bit of drivel from me.

  8. As has already been said, suicide is serious subject. Much has been said here that is righteous and correct on that subject so I’ll get to what I think is the point of the nomination.

    With regard to celebs, I think claiming to be depressed and threatening to commit suicide…especially when posted on social media or any other public forum…is really a ploy for attention rather than a cry for help or a statement of intent. It is part and parcel of today’s cult of victimology. In other words; “Please pay attention to me. I’m a victim and I need your sympathy,”

    I’m reminded of the Duchess of Sussex and her interview in Africa; “Thank you for asking.”

    And due to the serious and irrevocable nature of this threat it must always be taken seriously. The people making these threats know this and indeed count on the best and sincere intentions of others thereby guaranteeing the attention and indeed the sympathy and victimhood status that they seek.

    These type of people are quite worthy of this nomination and most deserved. I’m not saying they aren’t depressed. But if they really are depressed, they need to stop their attention seeking behavior and get competent professional help rather than posting about it on social media.

    • Ever heard of that fat neckbeard YouTuber Boogie2988? He’s infamous for exactly this sort of behaviour.

    • In my defence, I was drunk as fuck at the time and just took exception to a nomination about tourists. I subsequently went on a rant about middle-class, millennial, Enlgish tourists infesting a supposedly secluded part of the Scotland where I went to top myself.

      I only found out that I’d caused distress to other ISAC posters when I was reading the nominations page a couple of days later. Apologies to anybody who read that by the way.

  10. Kill myself? Fuck off..my dogs keep me going in life, no matter how shit it gets

  12. I’ve had depression /anxiety for over 30 years and am on two antidepressants. They really work for me and I feel super-confident and as happy as a dog with two dicks. Never contemplated suicide.

    • Would you mind naming those antidepressants? I think I might benefit from them.

      • I hate to but in here where I’m not required but for me, Sertraline was shit as I upped my dose and shat myself twice in one day so had to bin to pairs of undercrackers.

        Mirtazapine gave me severe lethargy and really unsettling, weird dreams wherein I felt like I was a spectactor in somebody else’s unsettling, weird dreams.

        The current one is Citalopram which gives me really bad nausea but also helps me sleep really well so giveth and taketh I suppose.

        Sorry. As you were.

      • Also, everybody has a different physiological response to drugs (certainly psychotropic drugs).

  13. I think Mr Polly’s nom has been missed here. Talking of celebs saying they are so depressed about life for the attention makes cunts like Sam ( call me them) Smith and cunts like Lilly ( I try to be cockney) Allen who would sell their bowel movements to stay in the press. Tranny Smith sent out some woke wank twitter in the early days of lock down, crying into his tea, about how his life was shit living in his mansion on his own. Lilly regularly sends posts of herself in hospital on a drip because she has been partying her tits off and is suffering from exhaustion while her kids sits at home. I think these are the characters Mr Polly is referring to not those that TITS has talked about since.
    Mental health is a tricky subject and I’ve had a mum that has been suicidal for 30 years, but the likes of Smith and Allen are complete cunts that I wish would follow through.

    • Mental health is indeed a tricky subject which it would appear affects everybody at some point. I hope your Mother is okay and wish you and her all the best. Genuinely.

      • Cheers, thanks for your concern. Tricky it is but a good family network can make all the difference 👍

  14. A tricky subject indeed but I can only see this sleb victimhood as attention seeking to put it flippantly.
    On a more serious note this demeans those who are genuinely out of sorts and belittles their agonies.
    It takes a lot of mindset to deliberately set out to go against all you natural instinct, I lost a co-worker 2 years back, in fact I lost 3, 1 murder,1 suicide and one hit by a train (the graffiti kid,one of 3 caught out at Loughborogh Junction).
    Death is absolute, there’s no going back. The suicide was a rigger,he knew knots and he fashioned his noose and bound himself in a way where it would be impossible for him to back out.He knew what he was doing.
    The graffiti kid,Jack, knew the risks and in his community, tagging that bridge brought serious kudos because of the risks involved,they’d checked the timetables but didn’t factor in the random maintenance train that comes through after hours and there was no way out for them except a 30 foot drop onto the road. They tried to run.
    The murder? Well that’s London for you, he should have left well alone.
    Fucking slebs, fucking social media, empty lives and no direction.
    All lives matter.
    Hello,good morning and bollocks.

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