The comic book industry is due a cunting. And I don’t mean the Beano, Dandy or other children’s comics. I’m talking the Marvel and DC type comics. Now, I’ll admit, I personally am not an avid fan or collector of such comics. 2000AD, that’s my bag. I do, however, know a lot of people who are into that sort of thing, and are now wishing they had never picked up that first Spiderman/Superman comic. Why? Because the “creators” behind modern Marvel/DC comics have decided to follow in the footsteps of Hollywood and gone woke.
Not only are they have gone woke, they’ve also gone on the attack against fans (i.e. people who have read these comics since they were young children) who dare to complain that the modern versions are nothing like the comics they are fans. I can’t name most of these so called “creators” because their names aren’t worth remembering, but just recently, they’ve taken to insulting the fans who don’t like what these clowns are doing to their comics. You know the sort of thing, manbabies, racists, sexists, misogynists, homophobic, Islamophobic, yada yada yada. A growing number have taken to telling fans (or rather, paying customers) to fuck off and not buy their comics if they don’t like them. Sound advice in my opinion.
To give you an example of how woke comics have become, there’s a skinny shit who works for Marvel by the name of Daniel Kibblesmith (had to google that). He’s created a whole new group of “super heroes” who are part of something called the New Warriors. His previous claim to fame was a book he wrote called Santa’s Husband (anyone care to guess what that’s about?) Would you like to meet his super duper heroes boys and girls? Well, we have B Positive, who’s a gay vampire. Screentime, who can see and access the internet without a device, and get this, he acquired this power after his scientist granddad did some experiments and Screentime was exposed to internet gas (seriously). Then we have Trailblazer, who has a rucksack that contains an entire dimension/universe that she can pull stuff out of. She’s also fat as fuck.
And I’ve saved the best two for last. Are you ready for this (drum roll) Snowflake and Safespace. I shit…you…not. He actually called them that. These two are twins, Snowflake is a female and Safespace is male. Well actually, that’s inaccurate, because they’re non-binary. The two of them wear these weird shorts onesies with Snowflake’s being blue and Safespace’s being pink. Snowflake can shoot ice shurikens and Safespace can protect innocent with a force field (that sounds pretty lame to me). And the way they hold each other suggests they are more than just brother and sister. And apparently, Piddleshit created this bunch because he was intimidated by actual superheroes like Wolverine, the X-Men, Spiderman etc. The best of it is, he hasn’t just taken flak from real comic fans. Snowflakes have been throwing shit at him too, because those a-holes he’s created aren’t woke enough.
Haa…haa…haa.
But that is basically what modern superhero comics have descended to. We also have female Thor, female Iron Man now that Tony Stark is dead and apparently, Captain America is actually a Nazi. And the dickheads who have come up with shit are getting all shitty that people don’t like it. Like I said, they are actually telling people who complain, “If you don’t like it, don’t buy it”. I’ve been telling all the comic fans I know to listen. That’s the best advice they could get. Once the fuckers in the comic industry start feeling the pinch they’ll either double down and blame fans, or they’ll come crawling and grovelling back to fans.
Nominated by Quick Draw McGraw
We shouldn’t be too surprised because the old school fan is now a liability and is therefore no longer of any importance as far as they are concerned.
In fact they are probably wishing that the boomer generation just goes away and dies to make way for the new generation
13
The gay vampire should be renamed ‘HIV Positive’.
22
I just don’t get it. Everything. All this gotta go woke shit.
For a couple of years now the mantra has been “go woke go broke” or something similar but these barnacles upon Satan’s dick jizz keep producing this crap.
What is there thinking when they sit around that trapezoid table on their ethically sourced bean bags and think “ hey, let’s tap into that 0.1% of the market and give these fucking dumbarses what they want”
If they want to get rich (good fucking luck with that one) crack on and see where that leads and if they want to seem ( I hate saying this) relevant to the new Woke generation well, good luck with that also as they will never ever be satisfied with whatever you come up with as they don’t know what they fucking are let alone what they actually want.
Let all of Hollywood crash and burn and take the writers with you on the first fucking flight.
Snowflake and Safespace?!?!?
Where’s me pills ???
19
The pictured nerd is holding a Dilbert doll. Dilbert’s one of the good guys…
https://assets.amuniversal.com/5b32e44075e701380083005056a9545d
7
As a kid in the 70s I loved Marvel Comics.
Ghost Rider, Dracula lives! Planet of the apes, fantastic four, Hulk, Spiderman, kazar, etc.
Being my favourites, and werewolf by night.
Still got a lot of them somewhere in the loft, probably worth a few quid?
But rather burn them than let some soy milk snowflake have them.
Id hate the modern ones im sure.
Ps) werewolf by nights real name was Jack Russell.☺
14
I love Dilbert. Some great stuff.
6
I used to read comics but gave up on them once it became obvious that every story was geared towards generating publicity stunts, such as killing characters off only for them to turn up alive two issues later.
Before this obsession with re-gendering there were daft storylines about superheroes becoming zombies because zombies were popular.
Ionce you start reading books for adults its hard to read through such dross and not wince.
8
Shame. I used to love those old comics back in the ’60s. And the ‘underground comix’ of the ’70s /’80s – Robert Crumb, Art Speigelman, Freak Brothers, Zippy the Pinhead, Viz, etc.
The only saving grace is that these new abominations are unlikely to be as widely read as the comics I grew up with.
12
But much more widely promoted RTC. Redesigned by babies for babies.
6
Ruff@
Remember in the freak brothers at the bottom would be a little strip on Fat Freddies cat?
Normally something to do with cockroaches?
😁
Not read them in a long time.
3
I remember him well Miserable – almost as bad as Blunty’s parrot!
4
Introduce this fucker to Judge Dredd.
14
Bloody hell.
Snowflake and Safespace sound REALLY exciting. Can’t wait to read their adventures.
As a youth I enjoyed reading Archie comics with Betty and Veronica his two shapely, sexy girlfriends. On the beach in tiny bikinis all good fun. High school proms (a term sadly later imported to the UK). You can imagine how cartoonists would twist the story now.
6
Iron woman isn’t a superhero. Its a fucking command.
26
Iron Hoof Man
Where’s the drag queen superhero?
4
Sam Smith. 😁
4
The only comics worth reading are vintage 60’s Commando comics and War Picture Library.
You knew where you were with them. Not a tranny or LGBXYZ character in sight. Just Huns and Nips!
10
Those are great back in the 1960’s and Victor. Bloody slant eyed Nips and square head Huns trying to do in gritty Tommies. Neither were any good against a Bren gun.
The only comic I read is Viz. You have got to be a bit of a backward 8 year old to read all that Captain Marvel shit and a complete cunt to read the new stuff.
8
Loved Viz and never missed an issue until a couple of years ago when it became obvious which side they had decided to pick. Last one I read resembled The New European with tourettes…
6
That slipped me by and I am normally very alert to that sort of crap.
I gave up Private Eye because of their deranged stance on Brexit, a pity because I use to enjoy it every fortnight. Maybe Hislop is related to Daniel Fucking Kibblesmith , there seems to be a certain physical similarity.
6
Mostly the same reason I stopped reading it.
6
Viz is fucking shit now, it stopped being funny well over ten years ago, and is now just “I hate Tories / Daily Mail / Trump” shite. Nothing wrong with that in itself, but it used to dish it out to everyone. The only bits which raise a smile these days are the letters and Profanisaurus. Anyone spot the link?
0
I forgot about Victor. All those true VC stories on the covers.
Nothing like it these days, probably have stories of brave trannies going under the knife for hack and gash!
6
Grabbed a 1970s Victor annual in my last wander round the charity shops before the kung flu.
Splendid stuff and an instruction manual on dealing with Johnny Foreigner…
7
Yep BB.
Gave me my world view at an early age plus the film Zulu!
4
Generally speaking, one simply cannot trust foreigners…
6
I used to enjoy Action comics (predeccessor of 2000AD), particularly Hookjaw, the huge scarred great white shark. Used to eat anybody unfortunate to fall in the water, good or bad.
A proper comic book superhero lol.
0
2000AD and Action were my comics back in the 1970s especially the latter which was far more violent and gory and most comics of that era.
Hook Jaw, would scare the shit out today’s wanky woke snowflakes!
7
Techno@
I remember Hookjaw fondly, also had a giant robot gorilla in a strip in Action but cant remember the name?
3
MNC@ – check out those 70’s comics in the loft – depending on condition some of them can be worth serious money!
3
Think theyre a bit knackered condition wise foxy.
Lot of books in loft too, including Joe R Lansdale stuff, theyd be taboo now too, a texan writer check out his Hap & Leonard series very funny, and has a black gay character whos far from woke!☺
4
Action comic was banned in 1976 because it was so violent. The editors toned it down a bit and it was back on the shelves by the end of 76/ start of ’77.
Lefty Lampton, Dredger, Rollerball 2000( don’t quote me on that one), Hellmann the Panzer commander, the blind black boxer.
They don’t make ’em like that any more.
4
Spinball and Death Race 2000.
2 different things and one of those was a film.
2
MNC, that Lansdale fella, I’ve not heard of him before. I might give his Hap And Leonard books a go.
I’ve been looking on amazon. The first book Savage Season. Any good? 🙂
0
Death Game 1999 and Dredger, Hellman…. loved Action comic!
2
I looked up Snowflake and Safespace because I’d never heard of them. You forgot to mention they were also black.
8
A black snowflake, never seen one of those, seen a few yellow ones…… first rule of skiing ‘don’t eat the yellow snow’
6
You’re right, I did forget. There was so much other shit to deal with, it was easily done. In fact, only one of these new characters is actually white and that’s the vampire. And I suspect that’s only because he’s been drawn as pale as fuck.
4
Looks like they went down well, I don’t understand why the boss of Marvel Comics didn’t just say
‘Are you out of your fucking mind’
The level of cuntishness just keeps on giving and giving 😂
10
When you are worth millions you can afford to sacrifice profit for ideology.
Let’s see how long that actually lasts…
7
Comics are for kids or they were, now they are used to project agenda to young minds. The government are using psychological influences to manage us.
https://www.instituteforgovernment.org.uk/sites/default/files/publications/MINDSPACE.pdf
2
Marvel comics went woke ages ago resulting in a huge drop in sales. The MCU was created to compensate for this. Now the films are set to go the way of the comics but Marvel don’t see a problem.
Blinkered idealistic cunts…
5
Always think anyone over the age of 12 that reads comics is a bit of an oddball
7
Except The Killing Joke, when the Joker shoots the Commissioner’s daughter and then does much worse.
And A Death In The Family, when he also crowbars Robin to death.
https://lowbrowcomics.files.wordpress.com/2016/05/bkjhc-018.jpg
https://lowbrowcomics.files.wordpress.com/2016/03/batman-427-035.jpg
2
They call them graphic novels once they get older, in an attempt to salvage some traces of dignity 😉
5
I bought every single copy of 2000AD when I was a lad. And when the Judge Dredd team (Alan Grant and John Wagner) wrote Batman stories for Detective Comics (1987 to around 1991) I got into them too. That period, with the late great Norm Breyfogle as artist was the best Caped Crusader period since the days of Dennis O’ Neil and Neal Adams. Norm also did magnificent cover (like the one here).
https://i.pinimg.com/originals/c1/c5/51/c1c5510ed8dfefea8888c66e4c7add61.jpg
Marvel is now a load of woke wank, and a vehicle for cunts like Brie ‘I hate white men’ Larson and Scarlett Johansscunt.
6
Norman@
Remember Slaine mac roth in 2000ad?
I loved that, celtic warrior drenched in roman blood, the artwork was fuckin fantastic, gory as it comes.
4
Slaine was awesome. Took me a while to fully get into it, but I’m glad I did.
1
Not quite off topic and not worth a full nom, but the bloke shopping in our local Tesco this morning wearing a replica of Tom Hardy’s Bane mask from the Batman film is a total cunt… 😆😆😆
6
2000AD readers will recall Thargs future shocks;
Borag thung earthlets! Call me Kenneth.
Wakanda aint got nothing on the original stuff, sheeeit mofos.
4
And our new superheroine – plain old Miss Ann Drick by day,
Fucking awful bitch any time of day or night! 😁
On other news, after last night I now know why I stopped drinking Stella Artois (known locally as “Wife beater”!) ten Years ago!
6
The first shit you take, after a night on the Stella, smells of Stella….
3
Stella actatwat is not allowed in my house.
Even if I only have one pint, I always wake up with a belting hangover.
That stuff is liquid evil.
1
I was also disappointed that none of these super heroes ever took a total beating or even died, very frustrating, the goody two shoes twats.
Watchmen on the other hand was a great film for the genre , Silk Spectre, who wouldn’t?
3
British writer, you see.
Good old Alan “misery guts” Moore…
5
Comic book dorks have no idea how lucky they are. Imagine never being able to score with any woman ever? The time, money and hassle they’ve saved themselves is immeasurable, the lucky, pasty bastards!
15
None of this means anything to me, I recall a photo of my Dad in the cockpit of a plane reading the dandy during suez, That struck me as odd.
Soldier of fortune is a load of shit too, I think I have looked at copys of that, they are not so much woke but fucking clowns.
3
Had my first commission as a cartoonist, from The Topper comic, when I was 14
Loved Action comic – Hookjaw – gory as all fuck ! The Sun (I think) ran the headline “Seven penny nightmare” Cunts saw it emasculated.
Marvel Comics – get to fuck…
4
Quite how I went from kids comics into getting my character of “Timmy The Homesick Tampon” rejected by all the adult comics of the 1990s, is beyond me. No sense of humour, some editors…
7
Don’t know anything about all this stuff. I used to get comics like Eagle, Tiger and Lion. Any old cunters remember those?
5
Was Dan Dare in Eagle ?
4
Yes and the Mikon was a CUNT
6
The Mikon is now Dame Chris Whitty.
0
In the 80’s version, I’m pretty sure that the Dan Dare we had was the grandson of the original Dan Dare. I also remember a character called Doomlord. The early version of that was a photo story, but later on they started to draw it.
0
Adam Eterno…
Captain Hurricane…
The Steel Commando…
Can’t remember which comics they appeared in but were quite memorable
0
Bring back Alf Tupper, that would upset the modern day bummer brigade.
4
Most of the classic Marvel characters were created almost single-handedly by the mighty Jack Kirby, who slaughtered his way through WW2 in order to do it.
Whereas Kibblesmith is such a spunkless wonder his own wife openly cuckolds him on social media.
7
I remember buying weird american imports when I wa a kid, they were called Amazing Stories or something like that. Although I was partial to Spiderman and Hulk.
But my staples were 2000AD/Judge Dredd. Strontium Dog was my favourite, fucking brilliant.
1
I used to get Dutch imports (3 to a pack) for 6 Deuchemarks, The characters were not famous but they did have superhuman skills (champagne bottle base inserted, Grapefruit up the arse)
A title to avoid was Frumpus, (I think) morbidly obese women getting stuffed.
Rogue trooper was good, The back ground story with the quartz massacre and the traitor General was good.
Valid, I do not recall the word “Fuck” in the comics though.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_XbkFWvFxw
0
Wow, Lord Benny, that sounds a bit dodgy, you sure it wasn’t just straight up porn ?
Yes, Rogue Trooper was class, forgot about that character…
That’s a great fan film, half decent CGI and compositing…
0