The Markles

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Blow me down and who’d have thunk it? A piece of Earth-shattering news has broken; Me-gain Markle and her puppet, Prince Harry de Halfwit have left Canada ‘for good’ to settle in, er, Los Angeles.

Coronavirus restrictions notwithstanding, they fled Canada before the border closed. Another private jet, one wonders? So much for the assertion from Little Miss Sparkle that she wouldn’t live in the States while The Don was president. Apparently, the happy family is now in lockdown in a secure community to sit out the current emergency. Mmm, I wonder who’s picking up the security tab now?

I honestly don’t think that many of us saw that one coming, but ‘her people’ are saying that it’s a good idea because she can be close to her mother, and her ‘support network’. Oh, and of course, there’s her budding film and fashion career to think of. I’m sure that she’ll now be very happy mixing it on the awards night and chat show circuit with the Kardashians, the Osbournes and all the other slebs that hang out in Tinseltown. They’re clearly her kind of people. Likewise, the Dumb Prince of Bel-Air will surely relish life as a bit of royal arm candy for his lady love to swank about with. Well, at least until she decides that he’s outlived his usefulness and it’s time for the divorce.

Enjoy life in the ‘woke’ capital of the world, you tedious, irrelevant Muppets. You’ll blend in perfectly with all the other hypocritical, virtue-signalling cunts. Just don’t ever darken our national doorstep again.

Nominated by Ron Knee

167 thoughts on “The Markles”

  1. Mrs Simpson stayed with her “capture” for a lifetime but this ain’t the 1930s and Sparkle Tits ain’t Wallis Simpson. The whore has bigger fish to fry and well done to her for spotting the convenient stepping stone.
    What a fuck up for the Establishment. They ain’t as smart as they think they are.

    • You bastard, Freddie! I was just taking a swig of tea (PG Tips of course) when I read “Sparkle Tits”. For a few moments there I thought I was going to drown. Tea fucking everywhere now. Christ on a bike that was funny. Cheers – IY.

      • I find your American updates interesting Imitation.
        We have an Alastair Cook with our very own “Letter from America”!
        😀

      • I do what I can, Bert. 😀

        One likes to contribute to the mirth and merriment of these fine pages. Helps to get us all through the day.

    • The Royal Family saw this coming, everyone saw this coming – the only one who didn’t see it coming was the irrelevant halfwit who was too busy c*mming!
      Back from the bike ride, not track riding at the mo so using the road monster – race gearing, 20.06 miles according to the computer thingy – deserted roads so serious speed tonight, needed it to blow some cobwebs out!

      • And, by a miracle, I actually remembered the c*m mod thing – yeay! 😀👍
        (I’ll be doing joined up writing next!)

      • I’ve always wanted to have a ride on a black girl. Had the chance but one time and buggered it up by playing the nice guy.

        A bunch of us were working away from home and staying in a very nice hotel near Paris. Seriously – I’m not making this up! I’d already fucked this one girl from the company, so that was a result. One evening she asked me to drop some keys off at her friend’s room – the black girl. Knock knock….she opens the door, I gave her the keys and was asked in. OK I thought, I will. We sat on the bed chatting, time passes and the ‘phone rings. It’s my squeeze asking her where I am. I was supposed to go back to my squeeze’s room after dropping off said keys. Well, under direction from me, the black girl says she has the keys, I’d left some time ago and she didn’t know where I was. Well, well, well. What’s going on here, I thought?

        Then that atmosphere arose. You know the one where you just know something’s going to happen. She kind of leans back against the head board and it was obvious I was expected to make the move. I choked. I was already fucking her friend which I’m pretty sure she didn’t know and I just felt it was wrong to do the black girl as well. She’d tell my squeeze, my squeeze would have a row with the black girl, their friendship would be trashed, they’d both end up hating me and then I’d have to deal with the fallout and drama for the rest of the time we were in the hotel. I made the calculation and decided the nice guy, keeping it simple and honest was the best thing to do.

        You always think another opportunity will come up sooner or later, a different time, a different place. It never did. Regrets? I’ve had a few. But then again, never fucked a black girl. I did what I had to do. And saw it through without fucking a black girl. I’ve lived a life’s that full, without travelling a black girl’s highway. And much, much more than this I buggered it up my way.

        Dear Penthouse Mode: OFF

      • Went out with a bird from Argentina when I was younger. A fiery piece, but she had the most magnificent arse….

      • You’re up late, Norm. Got a touch of the insoms?

        Yeah, girls with that latin temperament. Feisty stuff indeed. Had a liaison with an Italian many moons ago. Sincerely wished I hadn’t. Absolute psycho.

      • That’s quite the picture, Norm. Being stuck in a lift with that would make you wish you had two cocks.

      • ‘Then that atmosphere arose. You know the one when you just know something is gonna happen.’ You are Alex Salmond mate and I claim my £5,

    • I suspect Halfwit Harry doesn’t want to, truth be told, but as the bozo himself said, ‘what Megain wants, Megain gets’, and I’d say that it’s been nailed on from day one that it’s what she wants.

      • Everyone knew the “Frock and Cock show” would end in tears – no partner is worth chopping your balls off for, and any that try need to realise that.

  4. It’s a tragi-comedy being played out from day one and the only cunt who can’t see the inevitable conclusion is the boy Hewitt himself. If his mother was still alive she would have been able to give him some good advice…….a whore knows another whore when she sees one.

    • “Aaagh! Crack a window! No naked flames for f*cks sake! Diana you dim bint – I said I wanted you to be a Queen of HEARTS”!

    • It’ll spawn a whole industry as well Fred; books, articles, magazines, films, documentaries, investigations, interviews, conspiracy theories… just like the whole Diana saga.
      Plenty of people are going to make a decent living mining this.

      • Quite right Ron. I wonder if Sparkle Tits has a personal butler and general dogsbody upon whom she can rely…….a “rock” if you will? I might apply for the job myself. I can see myself trying on the dresses i’ve stolen from her and mincing about with her lippy on.
        It’s a mad fucking world.

      • Id try her wedding dress on an sell the photos too OK magazine, maybe put crack in her purse and phone the police.

      • Rather than bring Archibald up in LA they should go to Texas, seems more wholesome.
        Thats about the only place id go there,
        Big steaks, conservative people, cheap guns, yes,
        Id take to the redneck life, Hank Williams playing in the pickup, big beltbuckles, chewing tobacco, confederate flag,honky tonks,… but their beers a fuckin insult to god, like fuckin piss.
        Whisky ok suppose.

      • The big cities in Texas are rabid democrat strong holds, Miserable. That’s where the poor and the gimmigrants congregate and vote democrat for the free hand outs, subsidies and welfare. In other words, the vote bribes. Everywhere else is pretty much Republican/conservative.

        Yes, the steaks are enormous. The belt buckles even more so. Gun racks in the back of pickup trucks, cowboy hats and cowboy boots, tobacco chewing…yep, it’s real. I see it every day. You don’t see confederate flags much. Sometimes as a bumper sticker. And yes, the domestic beer is basically chemically infused fizzy water. Anyone who voluntarily drinks Bud Lite or Coors Lite is a cock sucking pussy. I wouldn’t say that to their faces though as I’d be asking for a new 9mm arsehole.

  5. Meghan is an Uber Huge Cunt. I’d like to fist her Cunt and boot it in.
    Meghan’s father living in Mexico he has a soft boiled head and the media fucked him over many times.
    Meghan is a nasty bitch. Granted she is pretty okay to look at, and, I’d fuck it. But she has personality of a Greek Sewer.
    Harry Hewitt is dimwitted and under the thumb has been Cunt struck by a Global Cunt, Meghan.
    Here is a fun game: https://pickaboob.me/ I would fuck ~100% of these girls!

  6. It looks like she’s got a walnut whipped turd on her head in that photo.

  7. I just cannot be arsed with these world class parasites at the best of times and even less so now.

    The pair of vacuous cunts spout nothing but platitudes towards whatever the cause of the day may be, all for the sake of appearing caring/woke/relevant.

    Fuck them, I’m hoping they fall into serious financial hardship like millions of us are going to after the China Lurgy has run its course.

    The Donald was right in refusing to stump up for their protection (arrogant cunts expecting anyone to in the first place) and maybe, just maybe, they’ll understand that tacit fuck off as a gauge of the general feeling towards them.

  9. What’s the difference between Victoria Beckham and the Sparkle?

    One is deluded about having married into British royalty, and the other is a half-caste cunt.

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