Wardrobe malfunction

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Wardrobe malfunction,

Which cunt coined that phrase? For fucks sake, a wardrobe malfunction is when the door falls off or a handle comes away, or if your rich enough the light in your walk in wardrobe doesn’t come on, not when some young bint singer’s bra shows a nipple or her camel toe is visible,

Jesus wept, another stupid Americanism that blighty seems to have adopted, well you can take your Americanism phrases and fuck off back to Cindy Lou and Chester land, cunts,

Nominated by Sidthesexistsforeskin

50 thoughts on “Wardrobe malfunction”

  1. Being the nitpicking cunt that I am, it should be called “closet malfunction” if it derived from across the Pond.

    Either way its a load of bollocks. Moreover the cynic in me believes these attention-hungry tarts do it on purpose, especially given the way they dress intentionally without bras or knickers!

    I bet even Diane Abbott hopes for something similar, although I rather think if she did reveal naked flesh it would be called “oil tanker malfunction!”

      • I’m sure in the revised edition of the Oxford Dictionary, if you look up “Malfunction” it will probably say “Diane Abbott. That is all!”

      • OED – “Malfunction” – what happens when you feral cunt of a Son is let loose on NHS property!

        “When asked for comment Harvey with glasses stated fuckoff whitey, my mummy is wiiich, now where’s dat fried chiggun?

    • I think DA did the “two left shoes” thing, gained a lot of attention with less of the trauma.

  2. Before clicking in the nomination, I thought wardrobe malfunction was when a wardrobe broke. A bit like building a wardrobe but doing it badly.
    To discover a wardrobe malfunction is where women show off their bits and pieces disgusts me.

    • P.s I can’t stand fellas walking around with their trousers hanging round their arse. Pull them up!

      • Well stop staring Spoons!
        I have a condition called ‘builders arse’
        Where when working and despite a thick belt my arse cheeks are fighting to loik out the back of my jeans and get some fresh air!
        Dont do it deliberately!
        Thinking of getting my arse tattooed with advertising for my firm seems more people have seen my arse than a advert online.

      • Exactly Vernon! Traditional!
        Id be drummed out of the removalman society if my hairy harris didnt see the sun.

      • Maybe La Thornpiggerry is struggling to come to terms with her erotic desires; what she really wants is to be shagged in the gob, up the snout, up the arse and up the minge on a continual basis by White Van Men.
        But she could never admit it, so she just criticises…

      • White van man? Be careful, Emily thornberry has got her anti White van man radar on, with any luck the fat bitch will get run over by a white van man

      • Fat cunts have been doing this for years Spoonington. I have a fat mate who swears he’s a 32 inch waist “always has been”. I tried to tell him it’s because he wears his trousers around his hips. To settle the argument I measured him. 52 inch waist. Welcome back to reality.

      • Didn’t check the leg MNC. Awkward enough enough trying not to press against him to get the tape measure around. I’ll estimate 30 inch inside leg.

      • YCD, I wonder if he felt a tingle in his loins when he felt your breath on the back of his neck as you measured him. 😉
        *runs away*

  3. These bints are wearing very expensive designer outfits. There’s two possibilities here. Either the dresses are designed to reveal or the designers are less capable of designing clothes that function than the unknown and uncelebrated designers who design dresses for high street brands that cost a fraction of the price of the dresses these bints are wearing.

    It’s bullshit and it’s calculated bullshit.

    • You’re right Sixdog. I’d say that most of these ‘malfunctions’ are nothing more than carefully contrived publicity stunts.

      • I remember Richard of Richard & Judy ‘forgetting’ to pay for wine in Didsbury and getting into a misunderstanding with the store detective.
        Gypsy fingers .

  4. This term first became known to us Brits when I think it was Janet Jackson who memorably flashed half of her (admittedly magnificent) chest during the live worldwide broadcast of the Supershitbowl ™.

    • Yeah she had a massive nipple piercing didnt she?
      I was bit shocked to be honest didnt think her that type of girl.
      Knew brother Michael was that type of girl.

    • Isaac, i think I remember that. I felt Justin Timberlake pulled her top off on purpose. She had silver jewellery covering her nipple.

  6. I got a bird back to mine and was struggling to remove her underwear when she suddenly said, “You’ve not removed a lot of girl’s bras, have you..?”

    I said, “What gave it away..?”

    She said, “The scissors, mainly.”….

    • Ah taking off a woman’s bra. One of life’s unalloyed delights. God I’d love to take off Salma Hayek’s bra and get at those treasures of hers just once before I die.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8KxE7mtOJ0

      God image those well oiled and dangling in your face.
      I think I’m about to have an undercrackers malfunction….

      • Sadly it’ll only happen in a parallel universe or at the behest of a bountiful God if I get to heaven someday, Spoon. I can dream, though!

      • Christ Ron don’t start off on Salma again, only just got my desk wiped clean from last time!!!!! Ordered some easy wipe clean monitor covers

      • Have you seen the Kevin Smith film “Dogma” Ron? Our Salma does a stage dance wearing a little bikini, hair in pigtails and sucking a lollipop for all it’s worth. Fuck me backwards.

  7. At least Emily Thorrnberry will never suffer the embarrassment of a wardrobe/dress malfunction, apart from the fact that much of the time she is known as the nude double-bassist of Islington, for official engagements her foundation garments are supplied and rivitted by the British Steel Corporation. The Shipbuilders Union oversee the superstructure work.

    • How true WC. Thornybum does however suffer from that perpetually embarrassing condition known as ‘chronic oral cavity malfunction’, or ‘gobshiteism’ in common parlance.

  10. I tried wardrobe malfunction as my defence. However the magistrate said that wearing no trousers under a mac did not constitute a malfunction. The cunt.

  13. Somebody once described sex with Fatty Soames as like being underneath an old wardrobe with its key protruding… I bet he smelt of mothballs, the fat cunt.

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