Now to save people (sorry total cunts) from being triggered the university has decided to ban audible applause.
https://metro.co.uk/2019/10/24/clapping-banned-oxford-university-stop-people-triggered-10975221/amp/?__twitter_impression=true
I fucking give up, This is meant to be one of the elite academic organisations in the world, yet they have somehow come to the conclusion that clapping may trigger people. Trigger them to do what, Cry and weep in their nannies arms. These are the sort of cunts who would be expecting those working class plebs who pulled the ER twats off the roof of the train to be jailed.
I can assure you oxford university students (they can’t all be cunts) that anyone who voted for this will one day find that you have pushed the working classes (black, brown and white) to far and you will also find that you will have to suffer your own version of being pulled off the roof of a tube train.
I hope I am alive to see you get a right proper kickIng.
Nominated by Cuntsince1066
Oxford must’ve taken its cue from Manchester University last year:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-45717841
Btw, isn’t jazz-hands is a waycist hate crime? Call the police.
11
Fuckin’ hell, I nearly wore a hole in my iPad trying to scratch off what I thought was my porridge from that cunt’s nose. Then I decided it was a zit.
Her appearance will definitely be improved with a pair of Jez’s free glasses.
10
These cunts obviously hold deaf people in contempt. Bet they will all vote twice in the election. The Oxford oath.”This house under no circumstances will ever fight for its King and country” Oxford union. 1933. Cunts.
3
I love doing jazz hands when in fancy dress as part of my al Jolson tribute act
Unfortunately the university’s have just cancelled my bookings
Cunts
22
This is fuck all to do about triggering anything. Bit by bit ‘they’ are making sure that ‘they’ can control every aspect of our behaviour in their favour.
13
The softer these cunts get the happier I become.
What a lovely cunting!
9
Have they banned people from shouting, ‘ Fuck Off, you dozy Cunts ? ‘
But seriously. Is anyone surprised at this ?
Universities seem to have become bastions of woke fuckwittery.
When I was at school, the teachers tried to avoid long silences in things like assembly as it usually encouraged a volley of rasping farts.
Teachers would exit the stage double quick, like a gestapo search squad, moving into the serried ranks of scholars, to pick out random victims for reprisals.
” You’re for it this time Jones !! ”
” BUT SIR !!!! ”
Jones was a twat.
Happy days.
Get To Fuck.
9
A primary school memory for me was the headmistress in the dining hall grabbing a scallywag by the chin forcing his head back and shaking the salt cellar down his throat, splendid entertainment
9
I can recall some more colourfull times at school im sure .consisted of calling one teacher in particularr duck! So enraged was he one time with the whole class he lost it!and swore out loud!sumet along the lines you bastards better shape up!by the time he realised what he said he ran to shut the door! Was only 8 or 9 fucking hilarious.
3
The one at our school was a right dopey bastard. The word ” lethargic ”
really doesn’t do him justice, there was more fucking life in a tramp’s vest .
He was a fucking disaster at sport, he’d just stand there while the opposition ran amok, breathing continuously was a major achievement.
He always looked as if he was about to nod off.
If he’s still alive ( unlikely ), he will be twenty odd stone, sprawled on an industrial strength sofa, with a Flabbapottamous sized KFC bucket in front of him, looking like he’s about to nod off.
Fuck him.
8
I live in Cardiff, and there are quite a lot of Jones about.
But I’m too busy jizz-handing Charlotte to assess them…
4
When the mud slimes bomb a university or go on a shooting spree be interested to see what they say.
Probably blame the far right or ‘mental issues’.
13
As long as the bombing and gunfire is silent – wouldn’t want to “trigger” anything now would we!
7
I’ve seen Brideshead Revisited so this behaviour comes as no great surprise to me. Gays botting each other, NancyBoys carrying teddybears,elderly homosexual lecturers…the whole place is a rat’s-nest of The Gayness.
It should be closed immediately and students and faculty sent to do something more constructive and less debauched.
18
‘Oxford, in those days, was still a city of aquatint. In her spacious and quiet streets men walked and spoke as they had done in Newman’s day; her autumnal mists, her grey springtime, and the rare glory of her summer days – such as that day – when the chestnut was in flower and the bells rang out high and clear over her gables and cupolas, exhaled the soft airs of centuries of youth. It was this cloistral hush which gave our laughter its resonance, and carried it still, joyously, over the intervening clamour.
Evelyn Waugh, Brideshead Revisited
6
You ever been to Oxford Miles?
The thing that most impressed me was a house with a great white shark sticking out of the roof.
Also a tank and flamingos on the front garden.
Home of a notorious eccentric apparently, totally forgot to look at the University.
I know Magdalene is pronounced ‘maudlin’ for some reason.
5
No Miserable. Would dearly have loved to. Misspent life.
I was thinking of the scene in Brideshead when Charles meets Sebastian properly for the first time. (Sebastian has vomited into Charles’s ground floor rooms the previous night and sending the whole of a market stall of flowers apologises with an invitation to dine with him in his rooms). He arrives and the first thing he notices are the plovers’ eggs on a bed of moss in the centre of the heavily beladened table. As each guest arrives they ceremoniously greet Sebastian then pick one of the eggs.
I was thinking that’s maybe how a dinner party Mr Fiddler begins.
You ever had plovers’ eggs?
4
Plovers are sea bird arent they? No never had them, dont do them in Aldi do they?😉
Lots of bicycles as well in Oxford, everyone cycling, bit like Cambodia.
5
Maudlin is what the cunts become after 3 years there, at least the ones that weren’t already when they got there.
3
Its where the ones with morrissey posters go.
Every trees a weeping willow.
Yer well moggie?👍
3
Absolutely Miserable, watching the story of Bat out of Hell, classic stuff.
3
That’s lovely did you write that?
1
Well said sir.
Turn the place into a fucking car park.
Or a Vietnamese migration congratulations centre.
What a set of cunts.
7
Run for parliment then?
1
I’d hate to be a teacher/professor at these fucked up universities. Trying to teach these woke cunts must be a challenge in itself, especially when you’re challenged on every topic by these arrogant woke cunts who seem to think that because they go to a posh university they are somehow regarded as righteous and all knowing.
9
This has all come about since since the cunts were charged £9000 per annum for fees. They all seem to think they are customers with purchasing rights. In the forthcoming election, my Party will be putting an end to this by promising to triple tuition fees.
It won’t stop the cunts from making demands but it will thin out the numbers to a manageable size.
5
Most people I know who went to university caught the clap,
So can see why theyd ban it.
6
I wish those fucking halfwits who attend BBC recordings of the Now Show and News Quiz would use silent applause and also shut up the whistling and cheering at the old cunts who “entertain” them.
4
I am sure they insert prerecorded applause/laughter in some cases because most just aren’t funny and you can only laugh at BBC approved jokes
5
I got dumped by my deaf girlfriend, she left me for one of her deaf friends.
At first it came as a complete shock, but looking back I should have seen the signs….
15
https://irp-cdn.multiscreensite.com/25933817/dms3rep/multi/mobile/TALK02.jpg
This ineffectual dithering cunt ,a so-called expert on BBC Bargain Hunt, who has the voice of a 5 year old still wearing nappies is an Oxford alumnus or should that read “anus”?
I rest my case.
1
Ah Oxford University … International seat of learning , communist indoctrination Mecca and haven for men who dost penetrateth men. These hooray Henry’s and Henrietta’s and their International riff-raff chums could well be running countries in a few years time, it makes a shiver run down my spine. A round of applause for such an impressive display of cuntmanship. Makes one glad one is not a clever cunt.
8