Checkatrade 2

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I would like to cunt checkatrade.com. These are the adverts you see that make you think you are hiring an honest, quality tradesman to do a job for you, so you are safe in the knowledge you will have a professional job done and won’t be ripped off. Now it turns out anyone can buy into this website, fake their on reviews along with the likes of bookmygarage.com and all those other bollocks websites promising a good job by honest people at a fair price; it’s all bollocks and I will explain why.

Yesterday I get cut up by a van for a company that does driveways and is an affiliate of checkatrade .com. I’m on my way to get petrol so pull in behind said van to fuel up. Out of this van get two pikeys, at first I thought they have nicked the van as you do with pikeys. I thought I would Google the company and sure enough the address is a gypsy camp, so it’s their van, third business and these cunts are on checkatrade.com. Fucking hell, thinks I. That’s taking the cat to the pigeons is it not, so I’m sure the pikey cunts do a great job, that is too quality for an honest day’s pay….yeah right. What it actually means is checkatrade and all those other bollocks websites, that make you think you will get a good, honest job done, either don’t check out the company, or if they pay, any fucker can join up and the best bit is you will be inviting criminals into your house.

Fucking excellent…

Nominated by Fuglyucker

49 thoughts on “Checkatrade 2”

  1. We need to find a place to put those pikey cunts that has a lack of ventilation and an odd chemical smell.

      • Bumholia’s Immigration Detention Centre, the entry process is apparently very rigorous.

    • 🎶
      Zyklôn Zyklôn Zyklôn B Zombie Zombie
      Zyklôn Zyklôn Zyklôn B Zombie Zombie 🎶

      Morning folks.

      • If only there was a rogue Checkatrade affiliated ventilation engineer working on the Palace of Westminster restoration.

      • Both HP and Chicken Supreme Court need a load of acetylene tanks in the basement, and a damn good Guy Fawkes moment.

      • “🎶
        Zyklôn Zyklôn Zyklôn B Zombie Zombie
        Zyklôn Zyklôn Zyklôn B Zombie Zombie 🎶”

        Well there’s my new ringtone sorted, cheers RTC!

    • I hear Auschwitz , Dachau and Treblinka are currently not being used and are perfect for all your requirements Mr ShagawotsZ.

      Is Zyklon still a available I wonder?

  2. Never trusted any of those kind of sites for precisely that reason. They’re all in it for the money and the so-called validation process is probably ropy at best.

    The only true way of a good service provider is through word of mouth – which is a bit more of a hassle if your particular requirement is different from the usual, but WoM has never let me down with bodged jobs from dodgy cunts with dodgy IDs affiliating themselves with shit sites like CaT

  3. I only book them if they are male, fit, and not off the plantation. I ain’t no racialist but there is no um bongo in my fridge or bananas in my fruit bowl and I don’t:t want to get stabbed.

    .

  4. I’m lucky that quite a few family members and friend are tradesmen (roofers, carpenters, plumbers, builders etc). And if they’re busy they can recommend someone else for me sometimes. Agree that word of mouth always wins over these dodgy review sites. Hearing that pikeys could turn up doesn’t surprise me at all. If I ever call a tradesman and hear a pikey accent on the other end, that phone is getting slammed straight the fuck down without me saying a fucking word. And if they call straight back I’d just say, “Not a fucking chance you theiving robbing gypsy bastards” – (c) Viz circa 1990s

  5. I wonder if today the Beeb would allow an episode like the one with ‘O’Reilly’s Builders’ in Fawlty Towers.

    That episode was a documentary about these fuckers.

  6. Just held the ladders for 2 delightful irish gentlemen from checkatrade,
    Taking the lead of the church roof to be cleaned!
    If more people were civic minded like pat and Mick rather than casting slurs against online trade organization the world would be a better place!
    Hey weres my watch?

      • My grandads last words were ‘you sure this rope will hold my weight?’
        Abseilings a young mans game evidently.

      • Heehee! Pierrepoint had the best job in England, no in history!
        From a family of hangmen, an a northerner.
        Three cheers for mr pierrepoint!
        Professionalism at its best..
        HURRAH!!!

      • Now there’s a job I would like to see reintroduced into this country, We could start with the members of the houses of cunts.

        Morning fellow cunters.

      • We can’t reintroduce capital punishment, it’s against EU rules, they would be forced to revoke our membership.

        Hey… wait a minute…

  7. Yup – I was almost stiffed by this lot regarding a plumbing job. I think most of these sort of websites are the same.

  8. Good cunting Fugly. I too have experienced the spastication of these charlatans as well as others such as “rated people”. There is nothing that beats local knowledge of good quality tradesmen…

  9. Once got asked if im registered with checkatrade off a customer,
    No, just as a sex offender!
    Jesus, havent even got a driving license luv.

  10. Come on Admin, this should be Checkatrade (2) as they were nominated earlier this year. Fair’s fair, guv’nor:

    http://is-a-cunt.com/2019/03/checkatrade/

    I’ll only use Check-a-Dooshka when it stipulates from which East Euro shithole they hail, guarantees an English language minimum vocabulary of 1000 words, and does a prison search in their original Iron Curtain country.

    Fucking smart arse, I was off when this one popped up.

      • Then I’ll just have to go to MyBuilder.com, Mogs. You get an altogether better class of criminal on there. They sweep up after they’ve burgled you.

  11. I bet Peter Oborne (Daily Fail hack) is listed in Checkatrade.

    Hysterical Boris hating Remoaner CUNT!

    I’d nom him but can’t be fucked.

    • I’d forgot about Osborne he really is a cunt, I stopped buying the daily hate when they turned remain, the cunts.

  12. Some old libtard tart has come up with some story about Boris touching her up under the table at some dinner donkeys years ago. Now where have I heard this before?
    Straight from the Get Trump playbook.

  13. I was once cut up badly by a car bearing the Check a Cunt logo who after I beeped him proceeded to follow me to my destination and then got out and started to argue.

    When I told him I would start taking pictures of him and his mate (who both smelled of drugs as did the car) and post them on their stupid Check a Fuck website I’ve never seen a cunt drop the argument and start apologising so quickly, literally, he buckled there and then like a complete cabbage.

    I just told him to fuck off.

  14. I’ve always found “My Builder” quite good.
    You’d like them Krav – they’re called My Builder because not only can you hire them, there’s an option to buy one.

  16. Checkatrade is easy to get on. All the worst tradesmen have registered because they cant get work through word-of-mouth (their estimates are also laughable, the innumerate cunts).

  17. That website used to call me quite often before I discovered how to block it. They couldn’t grasp the idea that a good tradesman need not peddle his wares but relies on his reputation. In my case, (gas industry) the HSE vet us and without that accreditation Gas fitters are not allowed to legally trade. Its a shame the gas council do not promote its membership. I’m certain no one here has heard either by TV or radio how to find a genuine gas fitter. So when we had a Patio door fitted recently I searched for a similar post code or STD code for my area and chose a Father/son local supplier-fitter. The father boasted that his firm were part of the checkatrade org’ which to me was irrelevant. Needless to say they turned out to be a pair of cunts who ruined part of my home in the process of fitting a poorly manufactured door and frame. It transpired in conversation with these twats, they had nominated their own members of family and their friends for the purpose of gaining testimonial’s.

  18. I don’t know why these cunts are called Checkatrade.
    The last fuckin’ thing they’d accept from you is a cheque!
    “Euros only governor.”

  19. I think I did one nomination on Urban camouflage, the technique of hiding behind the obvious.
    Close to where I used to live was a company that did vehicle wraps, and signage.
    You can order any signage you want for your vehicle without the required accreditation to display that qualification, so Gas safe stickers, check a trade, Guild of master craftsmen ect.
    They even do magnetic ones so you can peel them off and make a quick escape.
    Always check the person out, not on check a trade, do a little detective work before you make the call.
    Unlike mrs B who hired a very English sounding gas fitter who turned out to be a Nigerian who subsequently drilled a glory hole from the kitchen to the bathroom in his attempt to fit a restraint lanyard on the cooker!!!!!

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