I’m not sure how to word it. I’m not very wordy I’ll still give it a go.
I nominate the driver who beeped at me when I was crossing the road. He was driving a sporty car whilst wearing a peaked cap and sunglasses.
He beeped at me whilst we both stopped.
I mouthed at him that I’m a pedestrian.
Pedestrians have right of way. If a car is driven into me whilst I’m stood still or moving I get hurt. If I walk into a stopped car no one gets hurt.
It cheeses me off.
I suppose this nomination is for inconsiderate drivers.
Nominated by Spoonington
I’ve told you before Spoony. You should have taken it as a complement that he beeped at you, as he probably fancied you( in a gay way you understand.)
9
Great Nom Spoons!
Cheered me right up!
You playing chicken in road at your age! Carry a brick in your shopping bag and if the young buck tries to intimidate you launch it straight through his windscreen!
In my minds eye spoons you are like Godfrey from dads army, and this bloke is that boxer who cant fight AJ,
Im backing you, throw the brick or a wanker sign at least!
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Do you know Miserable, I have a very similar image of Spoony – a gentleman.
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Yeah polite, slightly innocent, a well behaved, gentleman.
Bit like me.
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Now sporting a concealed brick.
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My idea of ‘help the aged’ Moggy,
Arm them to the teeth!😊
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Funny word spoon don’t you think Miserable? Spoooon!
To get tiresomely literary again but in Krapp Last Tape Beckett has him say-
‘Revelled in the word spool. (With relish.) Spooool! Happiest moment of the past half million’.
He’s a bit of a depressive Krapp.
Do you have a word that is strange to your ear? Tribe is one of mine. Tribe tribe tribe..
1
Can see why hes depressed with name like Krapp.
Yes certain words are strange to the ear, i like words that as well as being descriptive also conjure up mental images, “effervescent” can you see the fizzing bubbles?
‘Plop’- can see the droplet landing!
1
That’s onomatopoeia ‘plop’ like ‘splash’. Mimics the sound of the action. A famous line by Tennyson-‘The murmur of innumerable bees’. Mimics the sound of the bees.
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‘Plop’ makes me think of one thing: plop-plops.
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From which I deduce you aren’t Swedish, RTC –
https://www.ocado.com/products/cloetta-plopp-13-milk-chocolate-bites-with-soft-toffee-filling-79230011
Household name in the frozen North.
1
Dirty scat fuckers.
1
A Classic Cunting my friend.
Prime example – a road near my Doctors – Narrow / Parking allowed both sides – entered via a blind bend, so you need to go slow as you can’t see what’s coming. Only enough room for 0ne lane with cars parked either side – you get the picture…
So I’m nearly completely through this bottleneck. Mr Shithead turns left into said bottleneck from side road in small Jap car (BTW – you can pull forward from side road just enough to see if way is clear before proceeding).
Mr Shithead sits at end of bottleneck blocking my way. Won’t move (although he only needs to reverse 12 yards).
So I have to reverse 300 yards back up bottleneck into first gap by pavement, large enough (I have Mondeo Estate) to wait for Shithead to get past.
He drives down & gestures toward me. I open my window. Shithead says “that’s my parking space” …
…How I remained in my car, & didn’t get out to rip his arm off to beat him to death with it, I’ll never know.
What a fucking CUNT
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Most drivers don’t know the highway code – that pedestrians once in the road always have the right of way. They are stupid short-tempered cunts that spend more time ranting and getting angry than waiting literally a few seconds for the pedestrian cross ever will.
9
Just start counting when you slow and see how many seconds are actually added to your journey, it’s so insignificant as to not be worth a second thought. It makes me shake my head when angry drivers are slowed and so get out of their car perhaps for minutes or even more ranting and cursing – they’ve added multiple more time to their journey by getting angry than just letting the pedestrian or other road user go first would have.
5
Unless it’s a motorway – pedestrians aren’t allowed to be there.
Apologies nobody likes a know it all.
5
If a pedestrian is in the road you must stop if it’s safe to so. You may think you have the right of way being a road but if you choose not to brake and you injure them you are at fault not them.
4
Hahaha, yeah!
Sob, nothing i could do officer!😀
3
“If it’s safe to do so”
That’s a bit of a kop out. Fuck it, that guy behind me is only two feet away. That cunt of a pedestrian will have to be sacrificed in order to avoid a more serious accident!
4
From the drivers description he sounds like a criminal. Therefore he is very likely a foreigner. Foreigners should all fuck off back where they came from. No more traffic problems.
Simples.
15
Fucking cunt cyclists on pavements boil my piss.
Why can’t the fucking skidmarks get on the bloody road ??
Am sure if Lord Fiddler of the Other Ilk took his Hilux down a pavement he’d get a lot of grief.
However, if he felt like visiting Cardiff (I can imagine the response from Fiddler Towers) he could eradicate hundred of fucking SJW, monkey-house, snowflake, scratter – you name it, bicycle cunts from the pedestrian pavements. It would be a result.
Lord Fiddler, Welcome to Cardiff ! (and you’re welcome to it, too…)
3
Sounds about right nowadays frankly sir I dare say this is probably the most self absorbed period in English history.
Every cunt no matter how high or how low thinks they are the most important and special little snowflake to ever Grace this green earth.
Quite surprised that the driver even stopped seeing as most seem to spend all their time glued to the smartphone. Checking twatter or instagimp like the shallow meaningless mongs they are.
8
The Magnanimous Top Five inconsiderate drivers:
1.) People who don’t use their indicators.
2.) People who, after having stopped at lights, rev like Formula One tax-evaders then must decelerate 50 yards later.
3.) Tractor cunts racing along at 20m/p/h to fuck their sister.
4.) Amber light skippers. Losers.
5.) Iron Curtains making about Britain and still learning to change gear with their left hand while texting the benefits office with their right.
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5.) Iron Curtains MOANING about Britain.
5
6.) Peaceful taxi drivers distracted by prepubescent schoolgirls.
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(7) Women who can’t stop fucking talking.
5
(8) Phil the Greek
(9) That slaphead from Ant and Dec
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(9) Cyclists, see above.
I’ve really got my gums into this one…
2
I’ll have no Ill spoken about the Iron Curtains. Without these lads, the courier industry in this country would collapse.
3
10. Audi drivers…
4
11. Procession leaders who speed up to 43 in 40 zones and upon leaving them return to 38. Usually elderly females, but not always. All cunts.
11.5 Tailgaters of the above. You aren’t going to get past, so why not let someone else have a go?
4
And, as one whiny female MP said in parliament:
“Who would serve us in Pret ?”
Pret sounds like some abortion-clinic scraping; at least I’ve heard that’s what goes into most of their pret-entious sarnies.
2
10.) Shitfaced French chauffeurs.
7
11.) Deliveroo cunts on sewing machines.
8
Cunts to a man/woman. They need an overdose of 56 tonne juggernaut. The cunts.
1
They’re fine by me LL
3
12.) Drivers who blast out Hip-Hop through open windows.
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One pulled up beside me, the other day playing that shite. I have a Volvo with a standard Dolby stereo so I quickly put The Wurzels on and drowned his ‘music’ out! The look on his grid was fucking priceless…
7
You don’t say Spoony whether you’re on a pedestrian crossing or not?
2
Dual carriageway.
2
Probably taking advantage of the stationary traffic to cross the M25.
3
Pulling his little tartan shopper behind him, giving a cheery wave to the HGV drivers!
4
Worst cunts are the ones who drive so close behind, you can’t even see their number plate.
Sometimes I just hold a golf ball out the window, more often or not they back off, or option two, (especially useful if they’re drinking coffee) the free nose job, where I just hit the brakes hard and hope they smash their face on the steering wheel. My car is a piece of shit so if they hit it I won’t care….
13
I don’t understand the golf ball reference.
3
I once bounced one off the bonnet of some little cunt in a Saxo who was too close….
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Doesn’t have to be a golf ball though does it JR?
Cricket ball work just the same?
Im clueless on sporting matters.
4
Perhaps the aforementioned brick?
2
Yeah thatd be my sporting item of choice!
Better cancel the golf balls off ebay!
2
You wouldn’t of beeped at old spoons
Would you Cuntflap?
Get the feeling spoons would be backflipping over the bonnet,
You parking up near gyppo site and phoning to report your car stolen!
Poor gyppos blamed for everything…
2
Haha, so you wouldnt just trade places?
Pop him in car, douse him in whisky and when police come lye in front of car groaning?
*not that id do something so despicable!
1
You have to discourage jaywalking Cuntflap!
Otherwise the elderly will all take it up as a hobby, besides im to pretty to be incarcerated for hit and run.😀
1
Used to be a bit of a greeeeeebohhh and me and my mates took to keeping a handful of nuts/bolts/assorted mechanical shrapnel in yer left hand pocket. Some cunt carves you up, hit the throttle and blast past, cut in and toss a few over your shoulder. Not much that could catch a Z650 back then 😎 ‘specially with a cracked screen. Fucking cunts.
3
An inconsiderate driver was pulled over for swerving all over the road and a WPC strolls up to the car.
“You’re gorgeous” he says.
” Licence, please.”
“Anything for you, beautiful.”
“Why were you driving so badly?”
He explains how he’d seen her in the wing-mirror and had been overcome with love. She eventually decides to let him go.
“Just drive safely” she advises.
“I will. I really do think you’re beautiful” he says, chuckling, “and that’s not the drink talking.”
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I’m not as drink as you thunk i am ociffer.
6
I haven’t had a cunt, drinkstable….
11
As bad as inconsiderate cyclists, and we all know what cunts they are (although I must say that the filly cycling in front of me earlier had a damn fine tight little arse on her)
7
Well Ron, Diane Abbott does like to lead by example when flashing her green credentials. It must have looked like two vac packed space hoppers in lurid green lycra.
4
By green credentials you mean an aged pair of big knickers stained with her cunt gunge and Jezza’s jizz?
4
That sounds like a Turner Prize winner Sixdog.
4
There’s an Arts Council grant in it I’ll wager
4
And the inverse applies for old wibbly white cycling cunts in lycra gaaaakkkk.
4
Geoffrey Boycott nominated for a Knighthood by Mavis? What is disturbing is not the fact that Boycott slapped up an old girlfriend but that the Hunchback knows as little about cricket as she does politics.
This fuckin wanker was the most fuckin boring twat and useless cricketer that ever held a cricket bat.
5
Cricket bats should be banned. They’re as dangerous as guns, according to road menace and notorious immigrant Prince Philip.
3
I’d say more dangerous!
Phils right, this arms race in the sporting world will end in a 30ft cricket bat capable of levelling large cities!
And whats Boris Johnson doing about it ?..Nowt!
Jeremy corbyn said under a Labour government sports equipment will be banned unless its for religious or cultural reasons.
4
A Jo Brand acid cocktail could be quite affective ?
0
Love listening to the old cunt gobbing off on TMS frankly and after hearing him telling that silly bitch to ram her witch hunting PC agenda up her dessicated minge on radio4 this morning he can do no wrong in my book.
5
Why do I have the feeling that Spoonington’s tongue is firmly in his cheek?
1
Hes a nice old gentleman with a good sense of humour who just enjoys
Inconveniencing motorists and getting in the way.
We all have our foibles, i for instance like leaving farmers gates open so that livestock can go for a ramble, and shouting ‘Fire!’ In crowded buildings.
Doesn’t make me a bad person.
3
Remember many years ago one wet evening just outside the local train station, I watched as my friends father on his way home waited at then started to cross a zebra crossing.
Whilst still crossing the impatient driver who was stationary revved hiscengine, hooted and started to accelerate and moved onto the zebra crossing.
As the car passed only just behind him he turned and quick as a flash smashed the rear windscreen with his umbrella.
The driver did not stop andbmy friends father disappeared into the night.
7
Shouty Nigerian nurses,like the one who was shouting and screaming at me all day yesterday: Fuck off. I am senior to you for a reason. Wind your fucking neck in.
Rant over.
I feel better.
Good morning.
3
If it’s any consolation, I gave a cunt of a Nigerian student a thorough and explicit cunting for being a persistent cunt a couple of weeks ago. If the PC police had been present, I’d have been fired. He hasn’t been a cunt since, so that may be the only language they understand.
2
I am now an old person (to my surprise I must say) In my youth I was sometimes surprised at the stupidity of “old people” worse perhaps than crossing a road with moving traffic is to park up and enjoy the view on an MOD training area.
I learnt to drive Tanks in Catterick Yorkshire, above Cambria Barracks is a hill that leads out to the training area and on a daily basis you will see tanks disappearing up into the hills to play with the sheep, the road in question has two points of interest a politely worded “fuck off this is an MOD road signs” and a hairpin bend going down hill.
Some people foolishly say that the worst thing you can do is kill someone, that’s incorrect, the worse thing you can do is accidently kill someone, here is a brief tale of the day I almost wiped out a bunch of coffin dodgers.
I was told to drive down the hill at speed, there is a mild right a hairpin left and a mild right, the object of the exercise was to learn that the faster the vehicle travels the larger the turning circle and fyi the tank is 56 tons unladen.
So off I trot picking up speed on a nice down hill run, first corner fine , hit the hairpin left stick and there was some fucking estate car parked up on the overspill with Joan and Derby noshing their sandwiches enjoying the view (although they could have been Russian spy’s), you can imagine their faces as a chieftain with the grim reaper poking out the turret bared down on them, I had both feet on the brake pedal and hitting left and right stick trying to stop the cunt.
I stopped about two foot short of the car, the Commander bounced out of his hatch across the turret and landed next to my hatch, I prepared for the traditional kick in the head you fucked up, but he bounced down and ripped the old couple a new arsehole, I fucking shit myself I was that close to killing the old cunts.
So the moral of this is, don’t cross roads with traffic on them and don’t park up on MOD roads that you shouldn’t be on, spoony will be pleased to know that I did not hoot my horn at them (I didn’t have time)
3
Any pedestrian who walks out in front of a moving car expecting it to stop because it’s ‘his right of way’ is a cunt
5
And often a dead one at that.
1
Being a pedestrian lately seems like a bloodsport. Not only are there these cunt drivers, but those faggy scooter riders seem to think they’re allowed to use sidewalks and whip past at 30mph. Bicyclists appear to go where ever is convenient for them at the time, despite resources specially diverted to creating fucking bike lanes nearly everywhere.
On the other hand, we have those nigger pedestrians (of all colors, not singling out here), typically on their phones, who deliberately shamble along, often jaywalking, and deliberately slow down and glare at you as you approach. I guess it balances out in some fucked off way.
2
Proposed legislation if we ever get a government again:
“To make it illegal to cycle on the highway if bicycle paths or lanes are provided adjacent to it. Penalty, crush bicycle and rider and recycle ( as appropriate as it gets).”
Licenses dependent on tests would also be a great idea.
Busy road with cycle paths both sides for its entire length? Bradley bastard Wiggins will always ignore them. And run reds. He is a perennial and dangerous cunt.
2
A solid cunting. I make no secret that I fucking hate cunt cyclists with a dedicated passion. Usually, always middle management faux power cunts, arfing on about their cunt progression meetings whilst riding all over the road and oblivious to everything apart from how far they can get the CEO’s cock down their throat. Any bloke that shaves his legs just to gain more road-speed and still rides a bike over the age of 16 is a mammoth-sized cunt and needs to be fucking euthanised with a fucking Bomag.
Another breed of fucking cock are these twat idiots in cunt-panzers, ie Audi and BMW. Einstein’s Theory of Cuntitude basically has a simple formula that reads “Audi + Personalised Plate = Cunt”. Why can’t they just fuck off to North Korea. Fuck it.
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