Glastonbury

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I wish to cunt Glastonbury, years ago I attended year on year, I was privileged to see many wide ranging artists from Bowie to Nick Turner to Sinead O’Connor to Johnny Cash, about 25 years ago it went from a CND festival to the behemoth we see today, it used to be a festival of the contemporary performing arts, a bit weird and alternative Hawkwind, Ozric Tentacles and many other bands which were not of the main stream listening by the general public. 25 years ago I saw Ozrics at the Astoria because they were told they were now considered too alternative for the festival, by fuck a quarter of a century later the “alternative ,”is now the BBC’s music holy grail. I am sad to see counter culture and genuine diversity replaced by greed. So what the acts performing may have become larger and more spectacular but the ethos and spirit which was held for so long will never be replaced to appease the FUCKING SNOWFLAKES. Hector, Jemima, Portia and Toby please bugger off. and let us ageing hippies have our festival back.

Nominated by Toryboy

95 thoughts on “Glastonbury”

  1. Kylie fucking Minogue. A talentless cunt in a stab vest. Surprised they didn’t have the fucking Spice Girls.
    What a bag of shit.

      • I see four dogs and a Blackbird (Spice Girls) are now selling Walkers crisps.
        They must have a only cunts employed policy over at Walkers crisps. They can fuck off its all abaaaaaht the Brannigans beef and mustard.

      • With you on the Brannigans B&WC. 99p for 6 at Home Bargains. Why pay Waitrose prices at the Pound Shop (£1) A facking rip orf.

      • Only problem CC is that I eat all six bags in one go when I have them. What a greedy cunt I am.

  2. An unbeleivable cunt-fest. The mess left was probably the equivalent of a few hundred normal families over a year. And they were also inhaling nitrous oxide, then listening to that cunt Attenbollox going on about the environment which they say is being damaged by nitrogen oxides from cars – you couldn’t make it up.

    • I was at Bristol Temple Meads station today and there were loads of grubby cunts with massive rucksacks making their way home from Glastonbury. They were congratulating each other for surviving it all because it was really “intense” – another word I am starting to detest. You would have thought they had come back from the Somme the way they were going on. Bunch of dullard cunts.

  3. Being involved on music etc I enjoy listening to all sorts of music and blag blah, what I can’t stand is this having to be left leaning in everything because you are involved in music, same with Actors, what the fuck is that all abaaaaaht? Is it guilt for being a rich cunt and it’s makes you feel better about the money you get paid? I don’t really care all I know is most musicians take themselves too seriously and need a slap. The real cunts are the ones who lap it up though and support these cunt who should shut up and make music etc.
    Go fuck yourselves.

  4. Gone are them days as a whole, been taken over by numptys and corporate wankshafts that play out to the gullible or people that don’t even know any better.
    I’m glad that someone else can see through all the bullshit.
    For me i’m saving up for Obscene Extreme fest next year. A true alternative fest.

  5. Michael Eavis’s upside down head; bald, bearded. With all his hippie ideals gone it has become what it was originally started to fight against; commercialism. Turned on its head.

    • I wrote a superb drubbing of Farmer Cunty Eavis about six weeks ago but alas, Admin has forsaken me. Shame because it was a beautiful exposé on both his and Corbyn’s vile hypocrisy.

      I see you’ve used my “head on upside down” line. I was proud of that (© Captain Magnanimous 2019).

    • Only hippy festival i like is Altamont! Funny as fuck specially when the pool cues come into play! Paint it black!👍

  6. All the alternative genres have been co opted, from music to video games from comic books to science fiction.

    All the genres of the nerd,geek,dork etc which would get you a good kicking growing up, are now cool.

    Festivals are all wank maybe the exception being Donnington but even that is slipping. Corporate sponsors , high ticket prices, security with sniffer dogs and fucking Glamping have made the whole experience cold calculated and very commercialized.

    • Download festival at Donington Park is a great festival. It was better when it was within the track itself with all the food stalls on the track itself. It was Valentino Rossi who got that changed after coming off his motorbike and blaming it on chip fat on the track!
      The best with any variety is definitely Sonisphere at Knebworth House but it’s very rarely on these days. I never saw the BBC there though.
      Glasto is a big no no. Full of hypocritical champagne socialists propped up on daddy’s money. Festivals should be about the music and the people never about politics.

      200,000 cunts on a farm. Where’s good old foot and mouth disease when you need it?

    • I used to be real nerd in the nineties but since then the creativity in these properties has vanished because the writers in Hollywood and comics industry are, frankly, shit.

      Even removing the woke politics, the craft of character development and story pacing and general settting of a consistent tone (comedic, dramatic, horrific) are lost, just as the arts of cinematography, sound mixing and visual effects are producing mediocre, derivative results.

      I think there are 3 possible explanations; there a lot of autistic writers who dont understand real people, or they’ve spent too long in LA and lost touch with normal human interaction through excessive hedonism and dealing with he narcissistic and sociopathic scumbags of Hollyweird , or they get all of their observations of human nature from earlier films growing up as cine-geeks, thinking snappy dialogue is enough to illustrate a character, when it all feels quite glib.

  7. Glastonbury should be renamed Danglebury: an arse of a place full of turds and hangers-on!

  8. When the likes of Coleen Rooney and her money grabbing slag mates start going, and stay in their 5 star caravans… You know it’s a pile of cunt.
    That gnome looking cunt who owns the land can fuck off as well.

  9. I think any one who attends a CND festival and believes that if we put our guns down everybody else will, shouldn’t be throwing stones in green houses.
    I rather hope you have grown out of this idea (Jeremy hasn’t)

  11. The whole shit-show is now a BBC event. Sycophants like Jo Whiley, Edith Bowman and Token Black fawning over whatever mediocre commercial crap they’re plugging. Watched a BBC A-Z of Glastonbury and guessed they would completely omit Morrissey’s 2011 performance. I was right. BBC cunts. That naughty boy doesn’t agree with their lefty agenda. Also, Morrissey drew attention to Michael Eavis’s corporate diary farming and has forever blotted his copy book with the money-grabbing wanker. Good lad, Morrissey. Keep it up.

  12. I went to a few festivals back in the ’90s (not Glastonbury mind), there were plenty of decent acts and very little, if any, mainstream pop.

    This year’s Glastonbury line up beggars belief: Janet Jackson, Kylie Minogue, Jeff Goldblum and his jazz band, fucking Stormzy and cunting Miley Cyrus the fucking virus! What a steaming pile of shite. You couldn’t pay me £200 to spend the weekend there in the first place, but with that lot in the line-up I’d need a gun held to my head, and even then…

    I notice Eavis’ daughter is beginning to run things now – probably accounts for the high-quota of female ‘artist’s’ at this year’s event. She sounds like a bit of a feminist as well, so expect the line-up to get even more piss-boiling in its PC cuntitide.

    Oh, and the BBC and it’s coverage can fuck off as well.

    • Here’s a few acts who are currently/very recently touring in the U.K. who even their diehard haters would admit are a 1000% improvement on any of the wank appearing this year, correction , every year :

      Fleetwood Mac, Billy Joel; Elton Cunt; Rod Fuck; Eagles ; the Who.

      None of them have ever played Unworthy Farm and that’s because they quite understandably refuse to reduce their fee simply to line Eavis and Greenpeace’s pockets. Luckily for Eavis that prize cunt / sub-Beatles tribute act Liam Gallagher can always be relied upon to show up most years for £350 + expenses and make a tit of himself.

      As for BBC coverage. As usual gave it the complete swerve.

    • Oxfam, Greenpeace and Water Aid festooned along the stage? Looks exactly the same virtue fest to me. And fuck knows what the tarts with the horse tails were all about. I was a miserable cunt 15 years ago.

      • You haven’t changed. It would be ok if the posters were from the Conservative Party, the Telegraph and Price Waterhouse Cooper, maybe?

        Probably not to your taste, and that’s fine. Gave me a laugh, though.

    • Fucking hell Komodo. That is erotic beyond words.
      Best comment below as follows.
      “ The blonde dancer, the blonde dancer. Oh my god, the blonde dancer.”
      Thanks for posting my new best friend.

      • Thats fuckin ace! Fit bird her with the long hair eh? Love the stranglers! ‘Peaches’ was a favourite on jukebox when first starting going in pubs as a young un!👍

      • Peaches live.

        “Rub it all over my peeling foreskin, that feels real good”

      • Noticed on ISAC that although most of us have pretty conservative views that doesnt translate to musical choice! Ive seen jethro Tull,hawkwind, the damned, the who, happy mondays, james, primal scream, peter an the test tube babies fuckin loads of different bands! And know a lot of other lads have too👍

      • Meteors, GBH, Damned, polecats and Stray Cats, Sabbath and the Stones, Skunk Ananias. Bands I’ve seen that others may of heard of.

        Been into punk and rock Since a teen and some selected hip hop from the early days.

        Maybe it’s not so much being conservative that binds us, just knowing right from wrong.

      • Your probably right sixdog. Great taste by way👍 best band i saw live was the Specials. The worst? The Dickies. Lad who works for me was in a manchester band called Res Jones, and played with canadian punk band the Viletones.

      • You shouldn’t let your servants watch that, SV….the show was considerably more interesting than the music, thanks.

  14. As soon as one cunt fest finishes another one begins.

    Wimbledon. Two weeks of prima donna grunting cuntishness with strawberries.

    Oooh I say.

    Fuck off.

    • At least all those embarrassing mongs won’t be on ‘Murray Mount’ this year… I bet his horrendous mater will still be giving it large though….

      I hope it pisses down, so they show ‘classic’ repeats of Wimbledon, featuring Chris Evert in that short skirt and those white knickers…

  15. Yeah, whatever the BBC touches becomes an enormous libtard shit show. I would give the cunts free Jonestown kool-aid.
    Snowflake wankers.

    • Does Bernard Balding do Wimbledon? I assume she will hotfoot it across the Channel from the wimminz World Cup to the ladies locker room for some exclusive interviews.

  16. Yeah, that Eavis bitch is definitely a feminazi. She was in the Guardian whining about the male dominated music industry and how cunts wanted to talk to her dad rather than her. Stupid tart ……… should have got your tits out like every other bird in the music biz.

    • Is that why the daft bitch always asks Led Zeppelin and the Stone Roses to play ‘Glasto’ every year? Hypocritical slaghag…..

      • Emily Eavis is firmly up Beyonce’s fat arse… Eavis was on Desert Island Dicks on the ‘Beeb’ and she went on about ‘equality’ and how great an ‘artist’ the aforementioned white appropriating lardarse Tina Turner impersonator is… Emily Eavis can frig right off….

  17. Actually not sure which appalled me the most…….the massive blob on the stage or the happy clappy nerds in the audience.

    Imagine that sitting on your face? 🤮

    • Its good to see politicians having a human side, engaging with the public and Diane Abbott getting her freak on.

      • Yeah, even the House of Lords is more diverse than that bunch of bellends.

  18. Fucking hell Cuntflap.

    Managed about 15 seconds viewing time. Reckon most will do well to last even that long.

    Is this really what passes as for music and talent these days?

    And clearly she thinks she looks good in the outfit.

    Reminds me of a comment Jeremy Clarkson’s father once made when Billy Idol appeared to Top of the Pops “If he knew he was going on television surely he could have put a shirt on”.

  19. The Ozric Tentacles. Who the fuck are the Ozric Tentacles Never heard of them. ‘Who are you into?’ ‘The Ozrics’ ‘Who? ‘You know the Tentacles’. ‘The Testicles you say? What a fucking name.
    Maybe Mr F could stage his own Mini Glasto on his land, with them headlining, running on the stage in the late evening ‘Now come on everybody give it up make some noise for the Ozric Tentacles’.

    • They’ve only been at the forefront of English instrumental rock for the last 36 years – releasing over 20 albums – so hardly surprising you haven’t heard of them Miles.

  21. Janet Jackson miming at ‘Glasters’… Another talentless lazy arsed cunt from that family then…

    Those Beckham cunt trumpets were there… Enough said…

    Liam Gallagher… Arndale Centre half-head got lucky… Cunt still thinks it’s 1994…

    Imagine if Morrissey had worn a Union Jack stab vest at ‘Glasto’? The man would be lynched… But ‘Da Stormz’ gets away with it… He black, ya know (and he a cunt, Buana!)…

    The Killers doing their usual shite (That ‘Are We Human’ bolleaux)… Johnny Marr is killing what cred he has left…

    Kylie Minogue… Music for attention seeking Pride Pooves and nothing more… Anyone see those men in the audience with those Kylie style woman’s hood things on? Grown fucking men, mind you… Should be gassed…

    Christine and The Queens were actually OK….

    The Cure were good too…. But Fat Bob looks knackered…
    t

  22. In other news Caster Semenya has compared himself to Jesus Christ in his ‘persecution’ by the IAAF becuase they want the prickless freak to take meds to compete with women or do the proper thing and compete with men. I thought africa hated his kind, why hasn’t he been hacked up yet?

    • We knew he was mentality ill, but just how mentally ill…

      I’m sure, just like the atrocity who grabbed Ben Shapiro by the neck, such actions will ender the twans commoonidee to the sane.

    • I wondered about that! They getting a bit lazy over there? Winnie mandela would of had a burning tyre round its neck by now! An robbed its jewelry box.

    • I believe in making my own mind up so I watched a bit of Stormzy and I concluded that he has all the charm of a blocked bog.

    • British rapper Stormzy, who’s real name is Michael Ebenazer Kwadjo Omari Owuo Jr and is from Ghana, is a cunt.

  24. 10 mins of footage was enough. Dull corporate folk-pop like the Lumineers, George Ezra, Lewis Capaldi and general plinky plonk, simplistic, twee, ukulele lifestyle music for people looking for high-end kitchenware or thinking of switching energy providers.

    Half-arsed acts playing to half dead crowds of Arthurs and Amelias dragging their brats around.

    My idea of Hell.

  25. Anyone going to Fiddler fest? Apparently everyone goes round shouting fuck off.
    The main event is being chased by the Hounds.

    • You’re the main attraction, B+WC. The hounds and I haven’t forgotten about you stirring up da cumminidy with your wild bongo playing and unfounded allegations about my “racism”…..it was just fucking lucky that the hounds and I made it to The Thames where we could leisurely swim to safety secure in the knowledge that Dark Keys can’t manage as much as a dog-paddle (their skin absorbs water,,,sink like a stone,they do).
      However,my white robe and hood were ruined, I expect compensation…you can use some of your Windrush money.

      • I’m sorry to hear your visit to the Carnival ended in you and the Hounds fleeing from the barbarian hoardes.

        I’m the spokesperson for the Windrush generations and their families etc, talks have been going well with Teresa May and she is thinking about extending the compo to our next 7 generations… However I’ve heard Boris has plan’s to siphon some off for his Bullingdon mates.

    • I think its the afterparty for the Notting Hill Street Carnival, a bit of a trek up north but I’m sure Dick will open up the grounds of Fiddler Towers and will be playing the steel drums like a pro in no time.

      • As long as he doesn’t start doing jazz hands, I’m sure the bro’s wont suspect a thing B&WC.

      • I actually wore it today at Wimbledon,RTC…. not easy trying to serve a tennis-ball and remember to answer to the name “Venus” dressed like that,I can tell you. Still, at least I managed to
        convince Simona Halep to give me a titty-wank in the locker-room later,so she was obviously fooled.

      • If you don’t mind me saying so Dick, you appear to be a trifle deficient in the lady-bumps department. I can only presume you underwent a silicone beef-up operation before arriving on court No.1.

        Btw, was Simona not surprised to find Venus had a green, scabby, giant marrow for a cock?

      • Not as surprised as she was when “Venus” gave her an Alabama Hot Pocket.

      • “That is the nastiest comment I have read on ISAC for a very long time.”

        Mary Whitehouse, Mrs. (Deceased)

  26. My brother recommended a particularly bad act for fellow musical masochists; goat girl.

    The music is indulgent Pre-menstrual mumbling but you can laugh at the sweaty-palmed soy boys in the crowd.

  28. How do these fucking vegan Mekons reconcile the fact that the venue was a dairy farm, courtesy of their charming host, Michael “Greedy Cunt” Eavis?

  29. Glastonbury finished in 1990 when Eavis kicked the travellers off the site, dirty crusty greebo cunts that they where they ALWAYS had the best drugs. Funnily enough The Cure headlined the Saturday that year, fuck me i’m getting old!

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