Phillip Hammond (11)

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Phillip Hammond is a cunt, isn’t he.

As the sands of time trickle out for this decrepit skeletal coward, there is one last chance to wheeze out a final blast of Project Fear before the pusillanimous cunt is booted out of his job. The sour odour farted from his mouth this time was that if no deal…..UK….blah…..26 billion….blah blah quid worse off…blah….disaster…. an amount probably cobbled together in the lift with the EU-funded CBI and Olly “I ❤ EU cock” Robbins, the parrot-faced traitorous cunt.

Old Bonejangles always had a sleepy countenance as he slumbered on the front bench while his boss, Zelda the Hunchback promised we’d be leaving/Brexit decision respected/other lies.

Make no bones about it, this humourless goon’s fear-mongering was a grave mistake; only the stupid; believed the lyrics of those lullabies.
‘No backbone Hammond’ always reminded me of the culprit in Scooby -Doo after they capture a bogeyman and unmask him.

Fred/Daphne/the Lesbo: “Let’s see who was pretending to be a financial expert and espousing all this Project Fear nonsense all along. (rips off mask) PHILLIP HAMMOND!

Hammond: And I would’ve got away with it too if it wasn’t for you pesky Brexiteers!

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous

53 thoughts on “Phillip Hammond (11)”

  1. Hammond, Clarke, Rudd, Gauke. All utterly humorless and irresponsible cabinet cunts. I hope these cunts are deselected and voted out.

  2. “All the animals come out at night – whores, skunk pussies, buggers, queens, fairies, dopers, junkies, sick, venal. Someday a real rain will come and wash all this scum off the streets.”

    It never washes the scum out of power though does it? Hammonds exit will only precede the entrance of an equally dishonest servant of the elite, fuck to them all. Where’s the accountability, until these cunts live in fear of their own fuckups like the majority of cunts with real jobs they will continue to piss on our shoes and tell us it’s raining.

  3. Like Scrappy and ‘Uncle Scoob’ it was lab Carney heaping praise on Hammond at The Lord Mayor’s Banquet. As though he idolised him.
    I suppose they will be both out of a job soon. What shall we do now Uncle Scoop?’

  4. I cannot decide if I detest this cadaverous prick more or less than the professional Harry Enfield impersonator, David Gauke.

    Hammond qualifies as a larger cunt than Gauke on account of his greater influence over the Brexit process. His long, spindly, bony little digits poking around in all manners of business.

    Gauke has form for claiming expenses on his London flat despite having a property located one hour away from his office. The hypocritical and clueless prick had implied (incorrectly) that paying cash to a tradesman was a cost to HMRC, i.e. tax evasion, when it isn’t necessarily the case.

    Hammond wins it by a whisker. Perhaps if Rudd was vigorously arsefucked (perhaps by B&WC) then she might mellow a bit.

    • I thought it was only me that thought Harry Enfield had gone into politics. The difference betweey Harry and David Gauke is that Harry is little bit right of centre.

  5. Hammond is and we all know it and probably he does………. A cunt, not just any cunt….. But a fucking cunt!

  6. Without doubt this slimy cunt has one of the most punchable faces in politics, and fucking hell that’s saying something these days.
    The great cuntings just keep on rolling!

    • A smorgasbord of cunts Ron, especially that dough-faced fraulein Merkel, she was shaking again today like a goat at a peaceful swingers party.

      • Brilliant LL. I hereby nominate the word ‘smorgasbord’ as the applicable collective noun where reference is made to a bunch of cunts.
        As for Herr Gruppenfuhrer Merkel, I have to say that she doesn’t look well to me. Wonder what the fuck’s up? Pissing it that Brexit’s looming, hopefully.

    • This useless government is the biggest shower of shit in this islands history.
      Be under no illusion, if you tossed a fragmentation grenade into a cabinet meeting, every one with a shrapnel wound, would be a Cunt – things really are that bad !

  7. Phillip Hammond (2)?

    This should be Philip /Phillip Hammond (10)!!

    Sorry to be a pedantic cunt (yeah sure – Ed.) but there have been 8 Philip Hammonds and 2 Phillip Hammonds, including this one.

    Therefore Philip /Phillip Hammond should now be gazing benignly down from THE WALL, should he not?

    Maybe someone up there likes him…..

  8. Hammond truly has one of those faces which could only be improved with the repeated introduction of a size 13 hobnail boot.

    Doomed to be cast out into the fucking wilds once Theresa is finally taken out into the abbatoir and gutted, this smug-cunt who tried in vain to push the most cringeworthy of all spin imaginable – ‘spreadsheet Phil’ for cunt’s sake – is very reminiscent of that cunt Gideon Osborne, in that he is a spineless cuntfuck with no proper political commitment, except to his EU overlords.

    Just list out former chancellors of the exchequer – Hammond, Brown, Darling, Osborne, Lamont, Major, Lawson – it is a roll call of some of mankind’s greatest and most accomplished cunts.

    • When I then saw size 13 in your post, I suddenly thought ’13 amp plug’. Wire the useless skeletal cunt up to a few plugs with no fuses and switch on to commence frying. That’ll teach him.

  9. None of these Tory remoaner cunts will be an issue come the next general election, unfortunately it’s looking more and more likely we’ll be dealing with cuntbyns equivalents. Out with the boney, old, decripit cunt Hammond and in with the blobby, grotesque, finger lickin’ chicken, cunt Flabbot.

    The more you look around parliament, there’s less and less leave voters left. With the complete annihilation of the Tories just around the corner there will be even less.

    I won’t miss cunts like Hammond, May, Grieve…… But I fear their replacements will be considerably worse.

    • The next Chancellor could be that Victorian gentleman…. Rees-Mogg.

    • Oh ye of little faith.

      There are enough liars left in the Tory party who will manage to convince doddery old cunts in Vale of White Horse that they will ‘definitely deliver Brexit’.

      Don’t underestimate the breadth of deceit on tap amongst Tory MPs, especially during election campaigns.

      Corbyn’s problem is, and always will be, that even dyed-in-the-wool working class constituencies cannot bring themselves to vote in the Islington posse the way they did for Blair.

      At the last election, Theresay may shot herself in the foot and both tits, and despite the single worst election campagin on record, still managed to best the Corbynites.

    • In a masochistic way (well more purely shit scared to even imagine) it would do we plebs good to have a taste of Liebour. The left, extreme left, meedja (all – written and visual), cunts like Paul Mason howling for common purpose to rearrange the deck chairs on the hopelessly holed below the waterline SS Great Britain would find out the mettle of the raving Liebour loony party with the swivel eyed lunatic at the helm, (un)ably assisted by the likes of Barry (uphill) Gardiner, Dianasaurus Flabbopotamus, Dame Hardy (who today expressed one of his favourite discs as ode to joy – fucking vomit inducing), Tom slender man Watson (hope its something terminal) and who could forget John Marxist Commie fuckwit McDonnell with the fat controller Len scouse cunt McClusky pulling the strings? Bolt on to that the likes of Jess Phillips, Angelaaa Raynoooh (said in slack Mancunian accent) and the assorted dross, limp wristed lunatics of the quota filling box ticking LBGTQWJUIPBAMNEG (apologies if I omitted any minority groups) fraternity and Londonistan will resemble Brighton with blood. Genghis and Dick the subservient useless pair of cunts will revel in the New Liebour rehash with £billions to spend from Steptoe’s money tree. Give it a month and there will be an uprising only seen in banana republics on polling day. Me? I couldnt give a dogs wank. Retired on my very nice final salary pension when I was 50. Got a bolthole in France and 3 children in countries who value and appreciate their skills, paid accordingly. Britain, and in particular England is fucked. It wont ever recover, only if we have a Churchillian type figure who will grasp the nettle and drain the fucking swamp that is the left, commies, BBC, Channel 4, Sly, and all the pandering troublesome loathsome written media. Severing ties with the EU is only half the story. I hope Boris can do it – so I dont have to spend more time away from my beloved England than I need to. With him I think we have a chance of retaining our backbone, dignity and importance on the world stage, not the butt of all jokes, sneered at, jeered at and soft arsed sick man of Europe tag we currently wear and are seen as.

      • Except Milne is Corbyn’s closest, most trusted inner circle advisor. Corbyn doesn’t go for a dump without Milne’s say so.

      • Between shitting on Northern Labour supporting Brexiteers, and the deepening anti Semitism scandal, the Labour party is slowly eating itself.
        Choke, you Cunts.
        Good evening .

      • You’re spot on – this country is absolutely fucked. Ok if you’re a scrounger or a lefty medja type, or sucking on the teat of the civil service, but the rest of us are fucked. I sincerely my kids can also piss off to live in other countries and leave this shit-hole to the stinking foreigners for whom the whole place seems to be run now. Especially after all the cunts at the BMA conference said it was wacist to deny treatment on the NHS to overseas people.

  10. A well-written cunting, Magnanimous, and I note the copious ghoulish references, very good, very good.

    Talking of Brexit……Diane Abbot says she’s “beginning to worry about Labour’s Brexit strategy.”
    !
    Dear God…when the warning bells are being rung by Lady Flabbotamus, it’s certainly a time to be anxious. If this is a rare spell of common sense, might I be the first to buy you a few mores cans of mojito for your dreary commutes.

    • She’s probably soiling her voluminous drawers at the prospect of somebody asking her what that strategy actually is.
      ‘Well Andwew, Jerwhummy has made it perfwectly queer wibble…’

  11. Can’t the peacefuls just bomb the Palace of Westminster and do us all a favour?

    Am so sick of these smarmy backstabbing, treacherous, two-faced cunts that call themselves “Right Honourable Members”; and yet care nothing for what the country wants; only what they want.

  13. Johnson now puts the chances of No Deal Brexit at A MILLION TO ONE…

    Brussels must be quaking in their boots!

    Maybe it’s all part of his remit from the Remain Establishment?

    “Your mission Boris, should you choose to accept it, is to undo the damage you caused by inadvertently winning the referendum in 2016. This tape will self destruct in 5 seconds, good luck Boris.”

    https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/politics/boris-johnson-claims-odds-no-17263869

    • Boris is giving the same odds as “the chances of anything coming from Mars”

      ♫ But still that Brexit co-ome. Dah, dah, dah, didd-lee, didd-lee ♫ etc.

  14. Smug, smarmy, cunt faced remoaner wanker who leaves a trail of slime wherever he goes. The sooner this fucker is rotting on the back benches the better.
    Boris is rapidly turning into the bumbling, lying, two faced untrustworthy cunt we all remember from his Mayoral days.
    We need a General Election and clear out all these useless lying cunts. The Palace of Westminster is a fucking shambles and a national disgrace.

    • A general election would merely replace the useless, lying cunts with more useless, lying cunts. Sterner measures unfortunately suggest themselves.

  15. One financial question which Project Fear never raised. Where is the EU’s £39 billion pay-off coming from and how does it benefit the UK?

    • Peanuts Cuntstable… the £39billion will be simply added to the £2Trillion pound National Debt.

      How does it benefit the UK?

      “I have secured a Brexit deal that delivers on the result of the referendum, delivering the Brexit people voted for, building a country that works for everyone, taking back control of our borders, laws and money, but protecting jobs, our security and our precious union, blah blah blah…”

  16. Evening fellas! Just watching Boris in hustings in Bournemouth, and it struck me that i despise this faffing cunt. The bloke stutters and goes off at tangents, hes no leader and i dont trust this cunt, hes going to stitch us up! His acting the mitmot isnt endearing i was a leader whos clear and concise in his answers, got a feeling of dread watching him hope im wrong!

  18. He rather merges into the political scenery for me. PPE Oxford (1:1 – not just a career pol but an extra devious one), business suit, boring voice, accepts big gifts from Arabs…’banks not responsible for 2008′ ffs, sun shines out of financial industry’s arse. If BRINO, then single market so banker mates don’t suffer, but working hard to scupper Brexit anyway. Walks like a cunt, quacks like a cunt, is a cunt. Will make fortune in consultancy and directorships of companies he’s favoured if and when he goes. Hasten the day.

    Sole redeeming feature: opposed gay marriage.

  19. Vauxhall have announced the new Astra will be made at Ellesmere port, providing we leave the EU with a deal

    Sounds like blackmail.

    CUNTS

    • Cunts indeed. The hard of thinking will seize on this but anything with an IQ in excess of 60 will note that Vauxhall has kept quite for how long they intend to keep Ashtray production there.

  20. Hilarious cunting Cap’n M. Articulate and precision nomination; ie the complete opposite to the endless drivel spouted from this fucker’s arse-mouth

  21. This is going to be off-topic so I’ll preface by saying yeah he’s a cunt whose face needs to meet the front of an articulated lorry.

    I see that Merkel has been doing a fresh round of ‘moving and shaking’. I seriously cannot wait for that ineffably evil BITCHCUNT to expire, in the most slow and painfully prolonged manner possible. She is single-handedly responsible for the calculated death of an entire continent and its various age-old cultures, which will be wiped out from history if the newcomers have their way. She will ultimately have the greatest death toll on her hands of any evil tyrant who ever graced the face of the Earth with their Stygian presence. She is truly the most wicked woman there has ever been in the history of humanity. May she die the most agonising death possible and though I’m not religious, if there is a Hell, then I hope she’s got a seat on a red-hot roasted pictchfork up her arse bursting out her gunt for all eternity.

  23. After every goal in the BBC Wimmins World Cup: Could the goalkeeper have done better?

    Err…yes…. They are all inept fucking cunts… Every last one of them…

  24. Grieve is at it again, along with another couple of ugly as fuck EU arselickers:

    https://www.express.co.uk/news/politics/1146328/brexit-news-no-deal-latest-dominic-grieve-ken-clarke-boris-johnson-jeremy-hunt

    Beckett looks like a very old man in drag – it’s probably how tranny Izzard will look in ten years time.

    A pity old Clarke doesn’t give er the fucking of her life up her craggy decrepit arsehole. As for Grieve, he should fuck off and retire to a Brighton shithouse

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