Green bullshit

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More green bullshit.

‘Greenhouse gas emissions in the UK will be cut to almost zero by 2050, under the terms of a new government plan to tackle climate change.’

Great news, yes? Well, as we contribute 1% of CO2 emissions against China’s 29% and the US 15% this is nothing but worthy bollocks. It also puts us at a commercial disadvantage with just about everyfucker, while achieving jack shit except to wipe out what heavy industry we have left. And subjecting us to a country covered in fucking charging wires.
Climate change is geologically inevitable. I can only think that this government plan is spurred on by the possibility of London getting flooded. They certainly don’t give a fuck about anywhere else.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

69 thoughts on “Green bullshit”

  1. Green cunts: fuck off. Climates change so deal with it. You are peddling crap. Bunch of 4×4 driving Islingtonites.

    Oh, and Labour are a bunch of Jew hating cunts.

    Good morning.

    • Morning Krav Hate to break this too you but Me and Greta would have to murder Justin Beiber. You have no idea how much that little shit has ruined the ecosystem.

      All the times he flys on his private jet and his collection of cars has greatly contributed to climate decline . In order for the environment, the animals and nature to thrive Justin Beiber must die!

      • That may be antisemitic, TS. Justin recites the Shemer Yisrael before every performance.

      • Justin Bieber’s rendition of My Yiddishe mama will bring a tear to your eye.

  2. Just an excuse to raise more taxes, treble the amount of bureaucratic paperwork companies will have to abide by; more tick-box busy-bodies inspecting company premises in order to make sure they’re in full compliance – and if not pay a huge fine and/or force the company to do so (at great expense)

    And there’s no point in the UK trying to meet certain emissions criteria if other countries (not least France, Italy, Spain Germany and the Eastern European cunts) don’t give a toss and ignore such things – because that is what the likes of France, Italy, Spain….. always do anyway!

    And don’t forget the developing/emerging countries that are attracting foreign investment because they’re cheap, don’t have a shit load of ruling, Acts and other bureaucratic regulations to hamstring businesses. They will put their own interests first and fuck the planet tomorrow – and if any greeny country such as the UK tells them “to go green”, it will be deemed racist and offensive for one country to tell another what to do!

    As for the Extinction Revolution cunts – hypocrites to a man! They go on protests (some of whom travel by train, petrol car or plane); do their protesting, and then fuck off home leaving a right old mess behind (no more clearly underlined than the utter fucking mess after Glastonbury, with tons and tons of plastic and fuck knows what else left behind by those so-called right-on, save-the-planet Lefty types!)

    Hopefully a passing asteroid will put this planet out of its fucking misery once and for all. Then what will the Green cunts say about that!?

  3. Yeah green cunts get right up my fucking hooter the holier than thou wankers. Have you noticed the similarity with religion?
    The apocalypse is coming oh my brothers. Repent! Repent! Repent!……..the end of the world is coming. Brothers! Listen to me brothers! I have the knowledge, I can save the world.
    You WILL fucking listen to me brothers. I’m going to sit down in the middle of the road until you listen to me!

    Fuck off cunt.

  4. I don’t doubt that Global Warming is happening; whether it’s all caused by Mankind,I’m not so sure. Doesn’t really matter to me anyhow, I would actually welcome an upturn in the temperature in Rural Northumberland. It can be decidedly nippy some mornings.
    I have,at best guess, 20 odd years left,and really couldn’t give a fuck if Humanity stews in it;s own foul juices after that…in fact,far from taking measures to try and prevent it, I think that I’ll “do my bit” to help it on it’s way….burn a few tyres,demand plastic bags when I go shopping etc…I know it’s not much,but every little bit helps.

    Fuck Off.

    • You may as well burn it – it saves it being shipped half way around the planet to be burnt elsewhere.

      The whole man-made climate change issue is total bollocks – careful adjustment to actual data and carefully selecting your start and end points in the data set can prove anything you like. For example, in the last IPCC report it used data including a weather station in Jamaica in the 1940’s that showed the temperature in November as being 0 degrees (clearly the weather station was fucked) and in Romania in June 2015 as being 68 degrees Centigrade ffs (probably a reading in Fahrenheit) but no one seemed to care….

      All bollocks and it boils my piss.

      • Piss boiling, is not good for the planet!

        So says Greta Thunderbird and all the other Green cunts

  5. The Greens are a bunch of naive virtue signaling deluded twats .
    Why dont they go to China and India to protest ? Because they would probably get a kicking ?
    The real problem is glaring everyone in the face but no cunt will talk about it . OVERPOPULATION.
    Even Richard Attenborough says we can re cycle as much as we like, in another 50 years the world will be so densely populated their won’t be enough food to go round.
    The Chinks knew they were in the environmental red when they started the one child per family program.

    • Yes, over-population – the biggest elephant in the biggest fucking room, and yet none of the Lefty VS touchy-feely cunts can see it!

      Talk about such things and you’re shit on from a great height by the Left. “It’s my right to have as many kids as I want, so fuck off and mind your own business!” is the usual trope. And the Left more or less condone it because its a “human right”

      But what they don’t understand is more people are being born in this world than dying; which suggests more space for housing, schools, road networks; more food, more clothing, more materialism; more travel etc etc. All of which are putting a huge drain on the Earth’s resources.

      But do these cunts care to admit that? Of course not – too fucking obvious!

      So let’s tell everyone else what they should do to save the fucking planet; but whatever you do don’t mention over-population!

      • Mention population explosion in Africa and lefties roll their fucking eyes.
        If you halve the population of the planet you would only need half the resources to sevice them.
        Start with Peacefuls…. 100%

        With all the ‘evidence’ Brazil still chopping down the rain forest.
        Selfish cunts!

      • Bravo Technocunt.

        A lot of these so called environment warriors are all part time living with mummy and Daddy in some palatial palace when not joining rent a mob on the weekend.
        They won’t mention the Population and how we’re a virus on the planet. It’s the Politics of envy, Condemning the rich or anyone that’s successful fits in better with their world view.

    • Quite right,FF.
      For a start,I’d put a stop to child benefit and instead make parents pay extra tax if they have children. Any “claimants” who couldn’t afford to pay the Kiddie-Tax should be prevented from breeding until they are in a position to set a positive example to their foul offspring.

      • To true Dick child benefit is this countries biggest single draw to people from overseas.
        Just think of the adverts in various sand shitholes or jungle dumps ” go to England and be paid to have children” the locals would stand a stare in disbelief. Actually PAID to have children and the more you have the more you get. NHS overstretched by to many people, police, fire, roads, schools, all overstretched by too many people. Simple problems sometimes require complex solutions but this one is a simple solution.

      • Morning G.

        I really do object to having to pay to raise other peoples’ children. It’s their choice to have them,they should pay for them. Nobody offers to pay me to keep the hounds,so why should I pay to keep other peoples’ children?

      • I agree with that Dick.
        Anyone who wants a kid should pay the full tab themselves.
        Why the fuck should Joe Public pay for another cunts brood.
        My parents never got help.
        Theirs a sow that worked at my place 4 years ago. I say 4 years because in that time she’s had 4 kids and been receiving maternity pay plus child benefits etc ever since.
        These serial offenders should be forcibly sterilised.
        The fat lazy Moose.

  6. I’m generally speaking a environmentaly friendly cunt. I don’t litter, I don’t drive a gas guzzler type vehicle, and I don’t burn garbage or tires (looking at you dick fiddler for shame m8) but the real contributor to climate change is big business and government corruption to do anything meaningful to actually improve the situation. Thats the big lie about climate change and the green movement

  7. It won’t be too long before the Greens put a ban on masturbating due to excessive
    CO2 emissions during peak breathing, and the additional need for tissues to mop up the by-product – all of which is killing the planet, don’t you know!

    So watch out, your wanking days maybe numbered!

      • That would make for a good protest banner!

        Perhaps a “Wankers R Us” party should form, and march on Downing Street demanding wankers’ rights etc.

      • I think that the current political parties would sue for breech of copyright…they can’t work together over Brexit,but us claiming to be a bigger bunch of Wankers would probably see them unite to fight our claim…and they would,undoubtedly,win.

      • But imagine who would be there to counter-protest…Thornpiggery, Flabbott, Dry Itchy Cunt, Air-Miles Emma…
        Limp dicks all round, I’d think.

      • Theyve already GOT a wankers party. Comrade Corbynski is the leader of it.

      • I can live without the wanking, but if they take the sugar out of biscuits I’m going to kill some cunt.

      • It seems now that two glasses of fruit juice a day increases your risk of cancer.
        Oh what’s the bloody use ? I’ll have to have my breakfast gin neat instead.
        Reading The Groaniad gives you cancer of the knob.

    • Actually wanking may go some way to helping us achieve the green targets that the over lords have set.
      Sometime ago whilst recovering from a substance induced out of body experience an amazing revelation occurred to me. Remember those torches that you shook and because of the movement of magnets inside the torch an electric current was generated sufficient to power the bulb.
      The thought occurred that if one a fixed the torch to the wrist of the hand used for gentlemanly relaxation a good deal of electricity could be generated by an enjoyable bout. Lightbulb moment, by the state of most of the male youths in my area their demeanour suggests long hours of internet porn and much relaxation, on closer inspection most have a right arm twice the size of the left or vice versa.
      Right to exploit this source of energy that is currently disseminated wastefully my enlightened mind came up with this. All teenage boys, prisoners (male), monks, eccentrics and other lone males register with their local power company. The company will supply them on registration with a fast internet connection, uptodate pc or laptop, a generator to be attached to wanking wrist and access to the very best full on porn of their choice 24/7. Leads attached to the generator will run to a wall mounted connector wired into the ring main. This connector box will display digitally the amount generated by each bout of relaxation the running total generated in KWH and the time remaining till the generator needs servicing.
      Those achieving an above average contribution to the countries energy needs will receive recognition in national press and monetary awards
      This laudable scheme will have the knock on effect of slashing male juvenile crime due to the fact that the useless little cunts will be wanking themselves to death for the planet, their first altruistic action.

      • Fuck me Black Biscuit ,
        Your a fucking genius. Get this brilliant idea patented before Branson or Dyson get a hold of it.

  8. They’re just submitting and appeasing these unwashed extinction rebellion twats.
    They’ll learn.
    Appeasement never works, especially against cunts like these.
    Soon they’ll be back with more demands, only this time you’ll have validated and legitimized their stupid opinions…..

    Should’ve cracked their skulls open when you had the chance. …now they’ll be emboldened and twice as demanding and annoying.

    • You hit the nail on the head there Deploy.
      Now the cunts have been justified there demands will never end.

  9. A way of getting the plebs to make do with less and less, while the Middle Class grow more smug and the elite swan about in comfy cars and private jets.
    I used to have some regard for genuine environmentalists, but now think it’s all just another combined money making/social engineering/jackboot in the face scheme…
    And one day the cunts will come for my old motorbike, so they can all fuck off…

  10. Am I the only one sexually attracted to the great Ms Greta Thunberg saviour of the human race? I’ve been having dreamy delusions of her recently and by god those pigtails and her cute window licker like face just gives me the horn

    I think we could actually achieve alot to clean up the world and improve the environment but we would have to kill thousands of people (mostly rich big business cunts who are a threat to the ecosystem) to properly advance our green agenda and deport certain problematic people . You may say I’m a dreamer but i’m not the only one I hope some day you’ll join us an the world can cunt as one

    • Greta Thunderbird needs an almighty kick in the cunt!

      She’s been touted for a Nobel Peace prize, for doing what exactly, other than being an irritating know-it-all who spends most of her time skipping school to go on another demo, or piss about on social media, or gush shite on TV.

      So there you go, kids! Fuck school, just talk about green things and you’re made for life!

      • A revolution led by brainwashed children.
        Bye bye Western civilization, hello Pol Pot’s Cambodia mk2…

      • She can join the likes of Henry Kissinger , Magic Barry and The fucking EU.

        Nobel Peace Prize. What a load of shit.

    • Well, at least she’s younger than Thornpiggery…
      People seem made of stern stuff around here. Crack on with it, laddie.

    • Hopefully that cunt reverts to her passion for anorexia and starves herself to death leaving us all in peace.

      • I’m sure she’s the sort of person who cuts off her hair and knits it into a jumper or scarf; keeps her toe and finger nail clippings, to be mixed in a food blender and turned into tooth paste; and she probably drinks her own piss, and recycles her own turds for compost!

        Greta quite literally shits on the planet!

  11. I’m goning to start the CO2 party committed to choking the planet, flooding low lying island paradises, suffocating the natives in savage lands, set up gun turrets on europes southern border and sell tickets for koon shoots as the bushmen flee a burning africa. It’s going to be a glorious armageddon, fuck you Greta!

  12. Your £5 donation to ‘ Neutering Sans Frontiers ‘ will help sterilise 20 overly fertile and rapacious Dark Keys every month.
    ‘ Beads For Balls ‘
    Do it.
    Good morning.

  13. It amazes me that climate change of man made is not linked with population growth.

    If man is driving climate change an increase in population with the corresponding elevated industrialisation and ever more cars must be a factor. Any reduction in greenhouse gasses will be wiped out by population growth.

    The failure to link ever increasing population with climate change seems like an elephant in the room to me.

  14. I’m the greenest cunt on the planet.

    Don’t have any sprog, don’t have a car, walk everywhere, never fly or go on holiday, never buy unnecessary crap, no mobile phone, use a Sainsbury’s 5p shopping bag till it falls apart, get all the wife’s clothes from charity shops, only flush the toilet when the bowl’s overflowing or the stink is overpowering – even my lawnmower’s electric for fuck’s sake!

    Zippy’s idiot bastard half-sister Caroline Lucarse eat yer thrush ridden cunt out!

    And don’t get me started on that smug Jonathan Bartley fuck…

  15. No doubt it’s happening, and no doubt it’s manmade. And no doubt the simplest solution is to cut the human population by at least half. When I hear some cunt saying that the population of Africa is set to double by whenever it is, and in the next breath giving it climate change, I marvel at his inability to put two and two together.

    Let me also cunt the cunts who go halfway across the planet to climate change conferences in private jets.

  16. Here we have the cunt logic again, the libtards want us to use public transport, thats great, so why do the same libtard cunts get all girlie when car sales go down and car manufacturers have to cut jobs.
    Cunt logic, buy a car …… but dont use it!

    The latest shit from the greenies, electric cars are polluting because of particulates from brakes and tyres, dont worry cunts because soon we will have hover cars lol!

    • Some types simply disapprove of plebs having their own private transport.
      Cluttering up the roads that should be the sole preserve of “Important” people…

  17. It’s too late now. If global emissions were cut to zero immefiately, the atmospheric concentrateion of CO2 is now high enough to ensure warming continues for several decaded. As ice melts less solar radiation is reflected and dark ocean water absorbs more heat, leading to more melting.

    Luckily i live 50m above sea level so i get to laugh at Londoners paddling to work. By the time the sea is lapping at my front door i will have been dead for about 400 years.

    • London needs to be flooded to kill all the vermin. We should start building the walls now in preparation lest the peacefuls and bushmen
      flee like rats from a sinking ship infesting and taking hold in the surrounding counties.

  18. Add the fact that with economic growth carrying on as it is both China and India will have doubled in output by 2030 then futility is complete. Mavis’s legacy.

  19. The only effective remedy for anthropogenic induced climate change is to remove a vast number of humans from the planet, especially those residing in highly industrialised nations and those nations which appear to have a culture of breeding obnoxious, useless cunts. Making sure that the U.K. which emits about 1% of the global CO2 is crippled by wank green legislation is not going to cut the mustard. If you combined the total damage done to the Uk in every armed conflict since the fucking Stone Age you would be well short of the damage done by green policy’s, equality and other total crap by our fucking governments in the last twenty years.
    Alternatively one can say all this climate bollocks is a natural occurrence which has been happening since the Earth began. It appears that all this quantification and blathering is not only down to supposed understanding of the mechanisms of the Earths climate but also a chronic desire by certain people to make out that they have a level of control over something which they have not

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