Radio Adverts – Faux Accents

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Commercial Radio Advertising … Faux Accents ..

I tend to flick between Radio 2 and LBC depending on which presenter is on air. Since Chris Evans disappeared from Radio 2, it’s been slightly more tolerable except for Saturday turning into a ‘gayfest’ of presenters … So LBC gets quite a bit of listening .. in the background.
I understand commercial radio is just that and gets it’s revenues from advertising, and it’s the adverts that are starting to really boil my piss.
There’s currently a Volvo advert, voiced over by some tart with a faux Scandi. accent similar to the ‘climate change upstart’ who is currently the darling of the Greens.
There’s a Renault advert, voiced over by some woman in a faux French accent akin to a tart from ‘Allo ‘Allo…
Now, there’s an advert for some Ibuprofane / Asprin shit, voiced by some bloke in a Transylvanian accent sounding more like Frau Blucher … but hey, it’s a ‘reassuring / knowing’ medical professional voice ….

Fuck Off … if you really want to get my back up and make me never want to buy your product … then patronise me with this infantile shite. Yes, I can turn it off … but I didn’t buy a radio to sit on a shelf and do fuck all.

Speak clear factual English you Cunts ….

Nominated by Boilsmypiss

37 thoughts on “Radio Adverts – Faux Accents”

  2. I never even get that far to listen to radio commercials; the radio stations themselves are bad enough with preening, poncy, smug, right-on DJs who don’t actually do any DJing in the old school sense because these days you just a press a button and the music player does the rest.

    This means they have more time to talk bollocks in-between tracks, some of inane banter that only appeals to the brain dead; and some of it hinting at the political news of the day, especially subtle hints/digs at the Right etc.

    And the DJs just like commercial voice-overs come in all flavours of cuntishness – so much so that I rarely bother with commercial radio. The BBC is a fuckfest of diverse wank, even more so when it bigs itself up with its own “Isn’t the BBC awesome!” commercials.

    Radio commercials and TV commercials have manifested themselves into today’s trendy happy-clappy diversity crap; which never really happened prior to the #Metoo faux outrage from a year or two ago.

    As Bob Hoskins once said “It’s good to talk!”

    Well it certainly isn’t these days!

  3. Real accents also drive me insane.
    That northern bint who did the NHS recruitment ad.
    Her, who is a Labour luvvie.
    Oh yeah, slag off capitalism while getting paid an insane amount through your ltd company.

    Hypocrisy.

  4. I love regional accents, they fascinate me, and think for a small island weve got some crackers! From Alex harveys singing glaswegian ‘delilah’ cheeky scouse ‘dey bombed our chippy’ the slightly brain injury sounding brummy ‘pot noodle noddy?’ The west country yokel sounding ‘oh arrr’ think they enrich our indentity! But i dont like anything ‘faux’ and certainly not foreign accents! I dont like foreigners! (Frau blucher?đź‘Ť “he voz my boyfriend”…)

  5. I.apparently,have 2 accents. I’m told that I veer alarmingly between broad Northumbrian and something akin to Terry-Thomas depending on company,circumstances and drink taken. I use the “country-yokel” in everyday speech,but switch to Terry-Thomas when wanting to antagonise or intimidate. I never believed it until those fucking phones came out that can record people and I heard myself..Fucks Sake,it sounded like two different people,both of them slightly psycotic,if I’m honest.
    I,of course,use the Terry-Thomas when out with The Hunt,or when addressing Townies. It helps them realise the distinction between The Classes and just where they stand in the Social Order.

    Fuck Off.

    • Morning Dick. My missus has the irritating (and somewhat disturbing) habit of adopting the accent of whoever she is talking to. And I mean everybody. Our next door neighbour’s wife is Japanese, and so it appears is my wife whenever they’re attempting to communicate.

      Naturally when she talks to me her accent is completely normal…

    • Morning Dick.

      I’ve always thought Inspector Vera sounds reet sexy, even if she’s an interfering old biddy. My ex had a Geordie best friend from one of her hospital jobs; she was gorgeous.

      I’m hoping yoou’re at least psychotic-squared, Mr. Fiddler. Anything less would disappoint us !

      • Afternoon HBH.

        Fiddler Towers appeared briefly in the distance in one of those bleak panoramic scenery shots once on Vera. I’d actually seen a load of what I took to be genuine police cars and what I thought must be some specialist Unit through my telescope that morning, and assumed that we were in imminent danger of having our inner-sanctum violated. The hounds and I spent a very uncomfortable morning hiding in a storm-drain,a la Raoul Moat, terrified that a fucking drunk Paul Gascoigne would turn up with a fishing rod and Happy Meal.
        Fucking Vera owes me damages,the frumpy old trout.

  6. Radio advertising sound exactly what it is – cheap, but bargain basement cheap – sub Poundland, and I just can’t abide anything to do with financial services where they have to gabble “terms and conditions apply”) – they must speed up the tape because there is no way you can hear what the vacuous bleeders are saying

    • I’ve often wanted to cunt that very subject WC. In my view, if they cant be arsed to tell me the Ts&Cs in a fashion I can understand, then they can go fuck themselves. Cunts.

      • They gabble the T’s & C’s deliberately so that you don’t understand it because that’s where all the dishonesty comes that they don’t WANT you to hear.

  7. Totally with you on this cunting Boilsmypiss. LBC is my default talk radio station of choice and those faux foreign accents are indeed irritating cunts. As are the faux regional accent ones.

    In fact almost every advert has some cunt with an exaggerated regional accent in it now, like mega-cunt James Nesbitt and his “BT, be there” scams. And Maxine Peake and her “if you want help fight climate change get a smart meter” bollocks. Big Business Corbynista shitbitch.

    • Lefty luvvies scruples dont stop them picking up a fat cheque for being a corporate shill and advertising any old shite does it? Assume they donate the proceeds to a worthy cause?

  8. What about cunting real accents. I had to phone HMRC this week – after waiting in a fucking queue for about 25 minutes I got some Nigerian who had an accent so thick, I could only understand about 30% of what he was saying. For fuck’s sake – what’s wrong with this country? Why do we employ cunts in the civil service, on a fucking “help line” who can’t even speak fucking English.

    CUNTS.

    • Yep, the least they could do is allow us to understand their staff whilst committing financial rape.

      Maybe it’s an age thing but every interaction with the system feels like a fight.

    • Last had that with my bank; not surprisingly, HSBC. I think it was female, and vaguely oriental. Didn’t sound sexy at all, was causing a severe episode of thermo-urinary trauma. I insisted on being put through to a manager. Who, oddly, spoke perfectly comprehensible English, even apologised for “the back-room team” cocking up, and refunded some moolah into my accunt.

      I hear the cuuuunt Oily Robbins has retired, it would make my day if Richard E I Addio from the HSBC ads disappeared. I hope he meets a coked-up Martian.

  9. What about irritating real accents? Drunk Nesbit doing the BT ads does my jaffas in.

    The Nor’n Ireland/Belfast accent I don’t mind in the slightest, it’s just Nesbit.

    Talentless cunt!

    • Dont see the appeal of james Nesbit, but the tv execs n luvvies fucking adore him, to them nothings better than a balding smug paddy.

  10. The Dick Van Dyke/Ray Winston mockney accent they use for van/builders really boils my piss.

    The attempt to make the plebs believe the company is representing the intended punters by using a piss poor voice actor is pitiful.

    Advertising does it even work? Like pizza adds when the fucking pizza shop is shut? Is there any fucking point.

    There’s a theory that if aliens ever did show up they would come to take resources. Is there a planet somewhere that is running out of bullshit?

    Excellent cunting of one of the underlying examples of the rampant bullshit we swim in.

    • Yeah it’s patronising as fuck.
      ‘From a maaaan’ole to a maaan-shun’.

      The media hate tradesmen. Perhaps its because the construction industry is thriving, necessary and their’s is dying, replaced by long form interviews, podcasts and independent journalists and commentators.

      Good riddance to the cunts.

  11. There was a spate of dreadful Trump impersonations for a while. I felt embarrassed for the voice actor, just as i do when Alistair McGowan tries to impersonate a non-football cunt.

    I agree that most radio is pretty much unbearable. From the shite music to the blathering DJs and their tedious, toadying co-presenters.

    The radio in my car stays off, and i only play CDs.

    • One of these day I’m going to post a nom for the Dave Berry breakfast show on absolute radio. Everything I hate about ‘DJs’ in one cunting person.

    • The one with the scouse bird trying to pull off an Italian accent? Yes me too, not because of the content but there’s a certain something about her voice.

      The trivago ads were ok until that Australian bint got the Jim Carrey dumb and dumber haircut.

      What the fuck happened there?

      • Agree, it’s the scouse bird wot makes it. And those trivago ads frequently got me rock hard.

    • But why is it seemingly (in ad. execs’ minds) OK to make out that Scousers, Brummies or “posh” accents are always either thick/ a reasonable target? (Gallabanani yes… see also betting ad. on LBC where posh cunt bets on “Steward’s Enquiry” then Thames Estuary type corrects him).

  13. Considering that advertising has to be factual and not pretend to be something it isnt, how come every ad is fronted by a money grabbing actor ‘pretending’ that he or she is providing you with a product or service? Surely thats fraud?

  14. Stabbing someone isn’t as cool and right on if you’re English or can speak it natively without pretending you’re a crop.

  15. I heard that cunt jihadi john on the radio, the prick sounds like he was born to a pakistani family in bradford the phoney wannabe goat-shagger.

  16. There was a spate of adverts with ‘diverse’ voices and as protest I’d change the station as soon as they began. I remember certain van hire and amazon adverts signalling their virtue.

  17. Radio Paradise from sunny California. No adverts, no moronic DJs. Ninety nine percent groovy (proper old and new guitar-based) tunes. Worth a try.

    Better half sometimes puts on local BBC station in the morning. Non-stop levering of global warming, minority interest, virtue signalling shite into every fucking report.

    So I turn it off.

  18. Totally agree, the cunts who do jingles and radio ads are a special breed of irritating. They all graduated from the Chris Ginger Cunt Evans school of nobbish fakery with honours. I would rather hear the Stephen Hawking speak and spell voice than those spunk guzzling wankers.

  19. Adverts in fucking general tip me over the bastard edge. New Lidl advert, anyone? Every cunt in it in a mixed race relationship?????? I sadly find myself pointing out adverts that DON’T have a mixed race couple in them. It doesn’t take up too much of my time.

  20. The bastard advert that annoys me is the one by that bank that tells me that that WE ARE NOT AN ISLAND. I’d like to watch the cunts prove it by walking to Ireland.

  21. I’m am not understanzing waz iz diz de pwablem wiz de French axendt ladeE? I am perfectly French nO? And I understan deez perfectleE?

    I will go now to eat zee French cheez and fart in your general di-rection.

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